Swim to Your Heart
by AlwaysRun
Summary: AU. Good girl Santana Lopez has it all. As an academic and swimming superstar with an amazing boyfriend, she's all set for her senior year. When she falls for a certain student teacher, Miss. Pierce, everything she ever thought she knew about her self and her life is challenged.
1. Chapter I

I dive into the water and feel the cool rush and the oh-so-familiar feeling that I get every time I race. It's exhilarating, it's different, it's fun, and it's mine. It's simple, just swim from one side of the pool to the other. Except there's a trick, you gotta do it faster than anyone else if you want to be the best. I feel myself closing in on the wall after my last turn. A burst of energy balls up inside of me and I push my body to its limits. I don't dare to look beside me for I would waste too much time, besides, I shouldn't worry. I got this. As I push hard into the wall and feel my body collide against it, I look up at the board for my times. I see it, _S. Lopez_, right there with a 1 next to it. I should be happy, this was a Junior National Championship after all, but to me, it just felt like another race.

I get out of the water and automatically feel the sun against my already tan skin. I accept congratulations. A few hours later, after a few more races, I change in the locker room. I've done it a million times. Every time though, I am surrounded; surrounded by girls, definitely not ashamed of their muscular bodies. It's all out there. Try as I might, I can't help sneaking a peek, looking. I can't stop looking at them. It's normal though, right? I have a boyfriend, it's fine. Every girl wants to just look at other girls bodies; everyone wants to see what they look like. Right?

* * *

I looked at my schedule for my senior year at William McKinley High School. Coming down from an intense summer swimming season was nothing compared to my class load this year. Trying to keep up with a million different clubs while still trying to keep grades up to graduate as valedictorian come May. It was how it was supposed to be...

My parents always told me that they came to the United States to make a name for themselves; to put their mark on society and negate the stereotype of Latin American and Hispanics here. After meeting in medical school in Mexico, they moved here and after tons of crappy jobs, they finally found a great place here in Lima and climbed the career ladder. They wanted their children to grow up in the best possible environment and to also make a name for themselves. So growing up, I always felt the need to be perfect; to adhere to their wishes in creating the perfect family. I needed to have perfect grades, be perfect at sports, look perfect, everything I did needed to be perfect. After 18 years, I did feel perfect.

Swimming is where I held all my confidence. I felt happy in the water and, as I grew up, I gradually started to swim more and more. I tried out many other sports; volleyball, cheerleading, basketball, soccer, and even gymnastics. I was decent at some of them but they never gave me the thrill that swimming did. The freedom I felt in the water. Eventually I became very dedicated in swimming and swam on the club team in middle school, going to swim meets weekends after weekends. I was dedicated and disciplined. What started out as a six year old taking swimming lessons at the Lima YMCA turned into a girl who had gotten numerous national and state championships.

It was also a plus that I didn't look like the stereotypical swimmer, tall and lean. I was shorter and I actually had boobs so I was always the surprise when I would beat all these other huge swimmers that had 10% body fat. That feeling was exhilarating. All these girls would size me up and scoff until I whooped them in the pool. But I always stayed modest and true to myself, I was never really about showing off.

My driving force behind swimming was one of my teammates and my rival, Quinn Fabray. Really though, we were one in the same. We've been going to swim meets together for years and this year we were co-captains of the high school team. We were both ranked in the top 10 senior recruits which is so coincidental to have two great athletes going to the same school. If you lined up all of our accolades and everything we've both done in swimming, we'd be almost identical, with the exception of the events that we do. I'm a freestyler, sprint or mid-distance and a backstroker. Quinn is an IM, breast, and backstroker. However, since we both do back stroke, we are constantly against each other. At the Ohio state championships last year, she came in second to my first. We had both broke the state record but mine would go down in the books. It killed her especially because in the prelims, she swam faster than me. It didn't matter that she had beaten me the summer before in the same event at a national swim meet, she wanted the high school title.

I didn't hate her but I was so close, she hated me so it wasn't hard to return the favor and we definitely had our differences. However, we're on the same club team and we often go to meets together and we learned to push them aside. There are just many times though, where my life would be so much easier without her.

Even though I practiced and studied for hours on end, I found time to have a love life. My boyfriend, Noah Puckerman and I have been dating since the beginning of sophomore year. He wasn't the perfect guy but he was kind to me.

But then my perfect life didn't seem so perfect anymore. I questioned everything that I knew about myself and my life.

To keep my grades at a superior level, I was in and out of classrooms in the mornings, when I didn't have meetings. It was only a month into my senior year and this was already the second essay due in my honors English class. I had finished my rough draft and I wanted a paragraph reviewed. I walked in to the classroom at the same time as a sophomore, Allie, was walking out.

Allie saw me. "Hey there, Santana! We have a stucco meeting tomorrow right?"

"Yes! Remember to think of incentives for the fundraiser. See you there!"

"Alright!"

I walked into Mrs. Hansen's classroom and saw the new student teacher, Miss. Pierce sitting at Hansen's desk. She was from the prestigious Lima University, one of the top colleges in Ohio and nationally ranked as one of the best private universities in the country.

She saw me, "You're student body president?"

"No, I'm vice."

"I was president my senior year, it's a big responsibility."

"Yeah, it is. I actually want to make a difference this year; I don't want this to just be something to add to my activities list. But, it's just high school."

She shrugged. "You can still make a difference."

I smiled. "I can sure try. Where's Mrs. Hansen?"

"She's going to be gone today and the sub just walked out. Do you need help with something?" She stands up from the desk and walks over to that desk that I stopped at.

"Uhh, yeah. Do you mind reading this paragraph from the 'Cause and Effect' essay? It's about the cause and effect of eating disorders."

I sensed just a slight change in her disposition. "Uh, sure, no problem."

I handed Miss. Pierce my essay and pointed to the paragraph I needed her to read. I watched as her eyes moved across the paper. She hadn't been here that long, probably since last week. I hadn't really noticed how stunning she was. She was the kind of pretty where she didn't have to try. She didn't have to put on tons of makeup to look pretty. She had soft facial features with piercing pretty blue eyes. Her flowing blonde hair fell perfectly down her torso. She's taller than me and her legs were killer. She was extremely toned and confident with herself. She had definitely had a great fashion sense; it was professional but stylish. Today, she was wearing a skirt and blouse tucked in with an extravagant necklace. I knew that my class really liked to talk with her; she was very personable and charismatic.

"Santana?" I was suddenly snapped out of my trance. I hope she hadn't caught me creeping.

"Yeah, sorry, it was a long night."

"I hear ya," she says with a nod and points to my essay. "This paragraph's really good. I think you could reword this sentence right here." She pointed to an underlined sentence. "And—" The bell interrupted, signifying the start of the day, "your signal phrases could be less rigid. I'd love to read the rest of it sometime. Your writing is superb."

"Thank you so much." I think for a second. "I don't have swim practice tell later on this afternoon; I can come in after school, if that's okay with you..?"

"Yeah, that sounds perfect. See you in class. Have a good day."

"You too, Miss. Pierce."

I waved to the substitute, as she was just walking in. As I left the classroom and walked to my first class, I felt different. I couldn't explain it.

And that was the morning that changed my whole life.

* * *

**This is my very first fan fiction and I hope that it's good. Please leave a review to let me know what you think of it so far!**


	2. Chapter II

"Ohmygosh Santana, I have so much homework. It's ridiculous."

"Sometimes, I just want to shoot myself in the head, it's way too much," I agree with a good friend, Colby, as we walk to the cafeteria.

After retrieving our food, we find our group of friends in the cafeteria.

"I need to eat fast and get out of here quickly," she says, biting into her sandwich.

"Why?" I ask.

"I have to talk to Mr. Schue about Spanish and then I should probably get Mrs. Hansen's help because… I have no idea what to do."

"Oh, she's not here today, the student teacher is though, she helped me on it some this morning." I felt my heart beat a little through my chest as I said that. I had no idea why. "Wait, I speak Spanish... What do you need?"

"Oh, it's not that, it's about an assignment. You know I wouldn't have thought twice to ask you about that..." She grinned.

After Colby finishes eating, I talk with some of the other girls at the table before walking looking over to Puck a few tables away. He was sitting with his football guys with two empty boxes of pizza in front of them, the usual. He saw me and waved me over. I went over and said hi to all the guys and gave Puck a kiss.

"Do you have early practice?" He asked me.

"No, it's later, from 4:30 to 6:30."

He frowned, "Damn, you're always swimming! Can we hang out after?"

"Yeah, Puck," I say, more annoyed that I wanted it to be. I recover by telling him that I'll text him when I get out of practice.

"Sounds like a plan." He pulled me down for a hug.

Puck really is a nice guy and he's usually pretty sweet. Puck used to be a bad kid, his 8th grade and freshman year. He was dating girls who were juniors and sophomores and dating a ton of them. I never had thought of him as someone to date, he was basically unattainable. I just dated whoever and they eventually just became faces in the hallway. When Puck asked me out a few summers ago, I was ecstatic. Our relationship wasn't perfect but he treated me right and we were basically McKinley's "Golden Couple." Puck even started to care more about his grades and was trying a lot harder in school. We studied a lot together and I know it really helped him. He's a solid B student now!

I went through the motions of the rest of the day. I subtly observed Miss. Pierce in English while trying to look busy and then realized I had better help Colby with her essay.

Admittedly, at the end of the day, I was very excited to have Miss. Pierce read the rest of my essay. I need to stop feeling like this about her. I don't know what's up with this today. I mean, she's just a college student. That's all. She's going to be a teacher. It's stupid. I'm just a high school kid to her.

"Hey, Santana," she said as I walked in after school. On my way to the class room, I passed the substitute on her way out so I knew it would just be Miss. Pierce and myself

"Hi, Miss. Pierce." I said while taking the essay out of my folder. "Thanks for reading the rest of the essay."

"It's my pleasure." She started reading the essay and I checked my phone for messages. I opened one from my mom.

_Santana, since you don't work, could you start dinner for you and Ellie after practice? We're both stuck at the hospital and we'll be home late_. Ellie, well her real name is Eliana, is my sister; she was a sophomore this year.

My mom and dad never seem to be home lately. They're both doctors at St. Rita's Medical Center where patients came from all around Ohio and Indiana to get care. My mom, Isabella, is a general surgeon and my dad is _The Jorge Lopez_. He's an orthopedic surgeon and the chief-of-staff at the hospital. Apparently, he's been offered the chief position many times but wanted to wait and take it when his kids were "older." They worked a lot regularly so they could take time off to go to my swim meets or school competitions or all of Ellie's stuff. I sigh a little too loudly.

"Are you okay?" Miss. Pierce says as she finishes reading my essay with a concerned expression.

"…Yeah. I guess. It's just my parents aren't ever home. They're both doctors. It just gets stressful sometimes. It's whatever though, I deal with it."

"Well if it's any consolation to you, your essay is absolutely great. I have no doubt that you'll get an A. I marked up a few parts that I think you could revise a little."

I smiled.

"And I understand. My mom is a lawyer and my dad is a businessman. I always seemed to be looking out for my brother more than them." She put her hand on my shoulder. I felt my body jump while trying to control the outside so it didn't show. "I know you don't want to talk to an old college student but if you ever need to talk…" She left it open ended with a small shrug and a smile.

I don't know why, but I felt comfortable with her. There was something about her that I couldn't really put my finger on; something that made me drawn to her. I wanted to know her. I wanted to know everything about her.

Miss. Pierce and I ended up talking for at least an hour. We didn't talk about English class or my essay. We talked about ourselves and our lives. I found out that we had a lot in common nothing about her didn't pique my interest. She had an inherit quirkiness to her and it drew me even closer as I hung on every word she said. I really wanted to be good friends with her. I wanted her. No I didn't, I couldn't. I don't have these feelings. I _can't_ have these feelings.

I glanced at the clock, it was 4:15. "Oh, shit. I need to go, I have swim practice. Thanks for talking to me. I'm so sorry for holding you up. I know you probably have other things to do."

"You are too cute." My heart started thumping again. I hope she couldn't hear it. "It's fine. I enjoyed it. I was just planning on grading but talking to you was much more exciting. You get going. Try not to drown at practice."

I chuckled and walked to the door. I turned around, "No guarantees but I'll try not to. I'll see you tomorrow… I mean, if I don't drown."

I heard her laugh as I turned back around and left school.

I walk onto the pool deck with seconds to spare. After an intense distance workout, I throw on a pair of running shorts over my wet swimsuit and hurry back home. On the way, I call Puck.

"Hi, baby," he answers.

"Hey. I just got out of practice. You still up for hanging out? I just need to take a quick shower and I'll be ready. Oh and my mom texted me and she wants me to make dinner for tonight, they're not going to be home and Ellie can't cook dinner for herself, you know how she is."

"Yeah, we wouldn't want your house burnt down." Puck says with a laugh. "I can come and help make dinner and then we can just chill. I have to talk to you."

"Oh, you do? Is it bad?"

"No. It's not."

"Well, now I'm intrigued. But that sounds great. I'll see you in just a little."

I parked my car in the garage and kept it open. Puck lives close by and he'll just come in through there. I walked into my house, threw my keys on the table, and take a look around to see if there was any place I should clean before he came. The house was immaculate as usual and he wouldn't have cared if it wasn't though.

"ELLIE! WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR DINNER!?" I scream because I don't really know where she is.

"Shit Santana, calm down, we're in here," Ellie said from the living room.

"We?" I scoffed.

"Yeah, there's just a few of us." Ever since I could remember, our house was the place where everyone came to hang out, or study, or do anything really so this wasn't surprising.

I walk into the living room still clad in just a swimsuit and shorts. Ellie and her four friends watching TV with their books and binders sprawled about the floor. "Hey, guys, are you all staying for dinner? Because, uh, then you might have to just fend for yourself."

"Blair is. If that's okay, Santana. These idiots are leaving soon so we can actually do homework." Ellie pointed to the three guys in the room.

"Yeah that's fine, I gotta shower real quick and then Puck's coming soon. Mom and dad won't be home until later. What do you want?"

"Anything." Blair and Ellie both say. "If you need help cooking, just holler."

"Alright."

As I walked away, I heard one of her friends say. "Ellie, your sister is so freaking hot in that swim suit. Damn! I wish I lived here, I would just… Ow!" I grinned to myself and rolled my eyes.

After a quick shower, I walked back to see Puck sitting on the counter on his phone with a few bags next to him.

"Awwh, you brought dinner?"

"Yeah, I know you're stressed with homework, swimming, and all. I just want to help out."

I walk over to him and put my arms around his neck. I lean in and kiss him. He slid off the counter and feel his tongue slip into my mouth. He's not a bad kisser but it's just gotten so predictable and routine. I let Puck continue to make out with me until I hear a noise in coming from behind him. I end the kiss and open my eyes. I jump off the counter as I see one of Ellie's friends, Zach, standing next to the fridge. Puck, seeing how startled I became, turned around.

"…Hey man. How long have you been there?"

"Uhhhh, not long. Uhm, I just came to get a bottle of Gatorade."

Puck opened the fridge and tossed one to him. "Good job today at practice, keep it up."

Zach nodded and left the room.

"That was so embarrassing Puck!"

"He's just a kid. I would have been watching too. You're so hot." He put his hands on my hips and tried to kiss me again but I jokingly pushed him away.

"Let's, uh, get dinner ready. What did you get?"

"It's already ready, it's Breadstix. Did you know they have meals that you can just buy and heat up?"

I arched an eyebrow. "I think that's just buying the meal and heating it up."

He contemplated. "Well, whatever." He took out some containers and put them in the microwave to heat up.

"Okay. I have to tell you something, Santana."

"Uh, okay?"

"I don't know how, but I'm nominated for Homecoming King and they told me that I needed to have someone like walk with me on the field, I forgot what they're called."

"Your escort…" He wasn't really the brightest, despite out constant studying but it was kind of cute though.

"Yeah! So will you be my escort for Homecoming? And go to the dance with me?"

"Puck! That's great. I'm so happy for you. Of course I will!"

Puck smiled and said he would be right back; he needed to go to the bathroom. I started to set the table and get everything ready. He came back a few minutes later with a bouquet of lilies, my favorite flowers. It was actually really surprising and really sweet.

"Thank you, Santana. For everything. I really don't know how you put up with me but I'm so glad that you do. I love you."

"I love you too." I said giving him a huge hug. I had said it a million times before but this time when I said it, it didn't feel the same.

The next weeks went by routinely. Every time I had English class, I would share a shy smile with Miss. Pierce. I was paying so much more attention in English because of her, because I really didn't want to take my eyes off of her. And she's a good teacher too; all the kids pay attention more, maybe that's just because she's so stunning though. There was a lot of Homecoming preparation done by the whole school. All of it though, it was just hype. I really didn't like any of it too much but I played my part though, with a fake smile on my face as any good member of the senior class.

It was a few nights before Homecoming and I had just finished up my homework. I looked at the clock and saw it was 7:30. I started debating whether I should call Puck to hang out or to just chill by myself and take a break for one night. I was almost decided on the latter when my phone rang, it was Puck.

"Hey, Santana. Do you want to come over and watch a movie with Brooke and Jared?" Brooke was a pretty good friend of mine and Jared was really good friends with Puck.

"Are they finally dating yet?"

"I'm not sure, come over and then we'll see… I already told them you were coming."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, that's fine. I'll be there in 10."

"Okay, bye. Love you."

"Love you."

I told my mom where I was going and she kissed me on the forehead and told me to be home by 11:30. I drove over to Puck's house and walked in. His house was modest but it was warm and cozy. I saw Mrs. Puckerman in the kitchen cleaning up from their dinner.

"Hey, Mrs. Puckerman. Do you need any help cleaning up?"

"Well hello, Santana! What a pleasant surprise. And how many times do I have to tell you to call me Debbie?!" She said with a giant hug, "I'm actually just about done, thank you though, you are so sweet."

Puck came from downstairs and gave me a huge hug as well.

"We're going to watch the movie in the basement, they'll be here soon. They're stopping at Redbox."

"Alright. It was nice seeing you, Mrs.-Debbie."

Debbie laughed, "You two have fun."

When we got downstairs, Puck playfully pushed me on the couch, gently lies down on top of me, and we start making out. He puts one hand on the arm rest of the couch to balance and the other hand under my shirt and starts feeling my boobs through my bra.

"I want you so bad right now." He whispers while kissing my neck.

I mumble a response. He gets up off me and picks me up like I'm a feather and we head to his room. He sets me down on the bed and starts to kiss me again, roughly.

I didn't lose my virginity to Puck, it was to some meaningless boyfriend that I had early on in high school because every other girl was doing it and I thought it would be the cool thing to do. It really wasn't though. It was rough and it hurt but I never let on. I always kept my cool exterior. When I got together with Puck, it wasn't long before we started having sex but I could guarantee that it was never really for me, it was for him. I could have spent our whole relationship so far without it. I almost wish I did because it would have given something to look forward to. To share when we were actually really loved each other. But Puck's not like that and I wanted to make him happy. I just wish that he didn't just assume that I wanted to right away. Sex is kind of meaningless now, not completely, but almost.

"I don't know Puck, they'll be here any minute." I say through his kisses.

Puck took off his shirt and shows his sculpted abs, his face shows genuine dejection. "I mean… if you're sure, Santana. We can stop."

I know there's no use in fighting so I take off my shirt, "You have protection right?"

He grinned and unbuttoned his jeans.

After we finished and I'm pulling up my shorts, Puck says, "Hey, I love you. So much. You know that right?"

"Yes, I love you too." I said, knowing that it doesn't feel right anymore.

We walked out of the bedroom and find Jared and Brooke cuddling on the couch.

"Whoooooaaaa. What were you two doing?!" Brooke says, she gets up, gives me a hug, and whispers, "keep it down next time, horndogs."

I laughed and gave her a crooked smile, "What movie did you guys get?"

Jared mumbled the name of some cheesy scary movie and we settled onto the couch, it was big enough for all four of us to be on, with Brooke and I in the middle. The movie started to actually get scary. I squeezed Puck's hand. Unexpectedly, I felt another hand on my right. It was Brooke. Just as I was about to pull my hand away from her, I let it linger awhile longer. Brooke's hand was soft and petite. It was different from Puck's huge calloused hands. Part of me envied Brooke, she was always open and kissing her friends on the cheeks and holding their hands. I always wished I was like her, to be so open and confident with her sexuality. Part of me was scared though, if I did that, people would think I like girls. But I don't. And neither does Brooke. And no one thinks Brooke likes girls, even when she does that. Eventually, she let go, and I'm catapulted out of my thoughts. When the movie ended, it was 10:30.

"When's your curfew, Santana?" Brooke asked me.

"Eleven thirty."

"Can you give me a ride home? I need to talk to you."

"Certainly."

"You don't want me to give you a ride, babe?" Jared asked.

"No, it's okay. You and Puck can hang out for awhile, it's fine."

We left and I asked her what she needed to talk about.

"Well, it's not my place and I know that you and Puck have been together for a really long time but I saw him talking to Quinn after football today."

Quinn and Brooke are both Cheerios. Quinn cheers and then swims either on her own or with the team when we have late practice.

"Quinn? She's always talking to him though, mostly to piss me off."

"No, Santana, this wasn't just talking. She was flirting and touching him all over his chest and face. He wasn't stopping her either. Then they hugged. You're my best friend and I just wanted you to know. I mean, I don't want you to think anything about it because he obviously loves you. I just… I don't know. I just want what's best for you."

I felt my heart drop as she was telling me this. As bad as Puck used to be or seems to be, I see a different side of him, a softer side. I trusted Puck with everything. He's told me many times that he's would never cheat on me, that he's different now. And I thought we were doing pretty good.

"Thank you Brooke." I said as we arrived at her house. "You're a good friend. I just need time to think."

Brooke leaned over and gave me the best hug she could in a car. "If you need anything, at anytime, just call me."

I went through the rest of the week without saying anything about Quinn to Puck yet, the last thing I wanted to do was ruin senior Homecoming. It was Friday and the Homecoming parade and game awaited us for the night. For the parade, Puck was able to get his uncle to drive us in his Porsche convertible. I enjoyed riding through the streets, seeing everyone in the city out watching. As I scanned the crowd, someone particular caught my eye; Miss. Pierce. She was standing with a group of guys and girls, probably her college friends. Why would they all want to go to a high school homecoming parade? I extra-smiled and waved at her, she smiled back.

"Who was that?" Puck asked, though his smile.

"Oh, just Miss. Pierce.'

"That hot student teacher in English?"

"Umm, yeah." Ironically, I actually did agree.

The parade ended and Puck did his pregame things with his football buddies while I took a much needed nap. When I woke up, I got dressed and fixed my hair with a few other friends. I arrived at the game and took my place to be Puck's escort. I watched as all the other nominees lined up. I looked at all the Queen nominees. Unfortunately, Quinn was going to win, I could feel it. I exchanged a friendly smile with Quinn. She shot back a half-hearted smirk. Whatever.

They read off the Queen nominees with their bios first. Then the King nominees were read off.

"_Noah Puckerman, the son of Deborah and Nathan Puckerman._" Then she proceeded to read off all of his activities and athletic achievements. "_Noah would like to thank his parents and his girlfriend Santana. 'Although I may not be the best, you guys are always there to pick me up. Santana, thank you for being the best girlfriend that any guy could ask for. I love you so much._'" Here was a collective "Awww" throughout the crowd. I looked up at him and smiled.

"And your William McKinley High Homecoming Queen is….Quinn Fabray!"

An abundance of cheers exploded through the stands. The cheers subsided after what felt like hours.

"And your William McKinley High Homecoming King is….Noah Puckerman!"

Even more cheers exploded through the stands. I let out a small scream and jumped into a hug. Puck gave me and his mom a hug. The King from last year came over to crown him and then a school official led him over to where Quinn was. They shared a tight hug, which I couldn't help but feel jealous, knowing what Brooke said.

After all of the pictures and commotion died down, I made my way back to the stands and towards my friends. Puck did some amazing football play thing that I will still will never understand why everyone gets so excited about. The team won. I told my friends goodbye and that I couldn't go to the party afterwards, I was practicing with Lima University swim team tomorrow morning, it was unofficial but it was still a really big deal.

I got home and as I was about to fall asleep, Puck called.

"Hey, San. Are you already at the party?"

"No, I went home. I need to rest for that practice."

"No you don't, come on. You went to swim practice the day after prom last year, you'll be fine."

"Puck, this is college, it's really important! I can't. This means a lot to me right now, they'll be other parties."

"Well, I'm glad to know my girlfriend is so fucking supportive of me." He said in a cross tone and then hung up.

This wasn't like Puck, he never usually got mad at things like this. I don't know what was up with him. I had to put it out of my mind and not think about it. This practice was much more important right now. I went to sleep and woke up, refreshed and ready. I checked my phone before leaving; there was a text from Puck.

_I'm so sorry for being rude. I love you so much. I can't wait to dance with the most beautiful girl tonight. Swim fast!_

I went to the college and practiced with the team. I had already been on a recruiting visit but I was just seeing how I would fit in again. I liked it alright, but I still hadn't been to some of my top choice schools. After the practice, I was wiped out. I walked out to my car from the aquatic center and a familiar face was walking towards me. It was Miss. Pierce. My heart started beating faster. I guessed from her attire that she had just finished working out at the recreation center connected to the aquatic center.

"Fancy meeting you here, Santana," she said taking out her headphones.

"Hey, Miss. Pierce, I was just practicing with the LU team, what about you?"

"I just went on a run and then I went in here to do some weight training. Well, first I had to turn in my fourth week student teaching report."

I leaned against my car and replied, "Ironic. I hope it's been a fun experience so far."

"Definitely, I love teaching; it's such a passion of mine. I like your class especially; everyone really likes talking to me and knowing about me."

I let out a small laugh.

"What?" She asks, quizzically.

"Nothing… it's just because the guys all think you're hot and the girls think you're sweet." I couldn't really believe that I said that to her out loud.

She blushes, "Well, I'm flattered. Wait, the girls don't think I'm hot?"She asked, being completely serious.

I shrugged, trying to stay cool. "Maybe a few of them."

She grinned. "So how was Homecoming?"

"It was good, Puck got homecoming King and….Quinn."

"That's must have been exciting for you! You don't like Quinn?"

"We're just huge swim team rivals and she's not the greatest person to me. But yeah, it was very exciting. I'm excited for the dance tonight."

"You should be. It is your senior year! And I totally know what you mean, I've spent my half of my life rivaling with this one girl who was at my dance studio."

"You dance?! That's cool! I love dancing. Of course it's not like… legit but I love ballets and musicals and all that kind of stuff, it's astounding."

"No, dancing is dancing, no matter what!"

"Do you still dance?" I ask her. My curiosity was growing.

"Well, kind of. I actually teach at a studio around here. It's a huge passion of mine. I danced with a studio ever since I was super young and up until I was out of high school. Then I also did Glee club in high school."

"The Glee club here is pretty good, Puck is in it."

"That's what I've heard! I'll have to check them out sometime."

I nod and try to think of something to say without sounding stupid.

She breaks the silence, "Hey, you don't need to be home right now, do you?"

"No, I just need to be home in enough time to get ready for the dance. Like 4. It doesn't start until 8."

She looks at her watch, it's around noon. "Well, do you want to get a coffee? Instead of standing here by your car, which I really like, by the way."

I laughed, "Thanks and sure. But I don't know if we should, uhh, you know, you're my teacher, kind of."

She shrugged. "I don't think that work and personal life shouldn't mix. It's bound to happen. It's not a big deal. My apartment's across the street from The Lima Bean. We can talk there. I mean, if you want."

"Those new apartments?" She nodded. "Well then I'll follow you out, Miss. Pierce."

"Pssshht. We're not in school, call me Brittany. By the way, how old are you?"

I smirked. "Does it really matter?" Was I… flirting with her?

She laughed bashfully. "Hmmm. No, it doesn't. I'm in the red bug."

"You drive a bug?"

"I love my bug!" She yelled over her shoulder as she walked towards it.

I smiled to myself as I followed her bug out of the parking lot. I did wonder how old she was, she was already getting her bachelor's so she had to be at least a few years older than me. I followed her out of the parking lot and in just a few minutes, we were at The Lima Bean. We got in line.

"I'll have a tall espresso and whatever she needs," 'Brittany' said.

"Uhh, I'll have a tall Americano."

Brittany gives the cashier some cash and tells her to keep the change and we stand aside to let the other customers order.

"You didn't have to do that," I told her.

"Oh, it's not a big deal!"

We get our coffee and walk across the street to her apartment. She gets her keys out and opens the door for me. Her apartment it nicely furnished for and did not look like a college students. It was clean and had a refreshing smell. Her apartment was just luxurious. The whole place was very open, the kitchen, dining area, and living room were all an open space with a hallway on the opposite end. There was an L-shaped couch in the living room with a nice sized TV placed on the wall above a fire place. Across the living room was a little nook with a desk.

There were pictures neatly placed around the white walls of the apartment. There were pictures of dancing and groups and people holding trophies. It was all so interesting and I just wanted to get a closer look at all of them. Some other pictures were standard beach and friend pictures. She was so freaking gorgeous. There were other pictures too and some artwork.

After finally taking all of her apartment in, I said, "I really, really like your place, it's so gorgeous. Do you live here by yourself?"

"Yeah. I had a roommate here last year but she became president of her sorority this year and had to leave. It's nice though. Friends are always in and out of here though. Well actually I'm not alone, the cat, Lord Tubbington, is here somewhere."

"Lord Tubbington?" I asked confused.

She laughs. "Or LT, whichever is easier. He's a fatty. Here, take a seat." She waved her towards the couch. "So you're thinking about going to swim for LU?"

"I'm not sure. I love the pool there and it's a gorgeous campus, plus one of the best schools in the country. I'm just not sure."

"What aren't you sure about it?"

"They're swimming program isn't the best. I'm really looking at Brooklyn-Hale University, Georgia, and Virginia. They're programs are much more up and coming. UVA and BHU have won their conference 5 years in a row and placed nationally in the top ten. Georgia consistently places high in the top 5, nationally."

"That makes sense. Isn't BHU in Hamilton? Like two hours away?"

"Yep, that's the one. And it's a really great school too."

"It is! LU is a great school but unless you're a real homebody, you wouldn't want to stick around. Those two are great colleges as well. So you're pretty much going to get a swimming scholarship anywhere you want?"

"Eh, I don't want to sound conceited but maybe. Right now, after this summer season, I'm ranked in the top 10 swimming recruits."

"In the nation?!"

"Yeah," I say modestly.

"That's incredible." She smiles. "Have you ever thought about going anywhere like really far to swim?"

"No, not really. There's some great schools in California for swimming but it would be nice to stay kind of close. Coming home wouldn't involve a plane ticket or a long ass drive. Really though, it'll start to be less about the swimming itself and more about the whole package; education, swimming, campus. I'm sure you know what I mean…"

"Absolutely…"

We ended up talking long after we had emptied our coffees. It was so easy to talk to her. We had so much in common and she was so interesting, smart, funny, and kind. It was a conversation with depth too. I soaked in her moral, ethics, and views. I let up my defenses and told her things that it took me years to tell Tina and Brooke. I felt safe with her. I had to go eventually and Brittany even walked me back to the parking lot to my car.

"Well, I really enjoyed talking to you! I hope you have a good night at the dance."

"Yeah, thanks for the coffee… and the company," I said, getting into my car. "By the way, I'm 18. And you?"

"21. And no, I'm not going to buy you alcohol." I laughed, I knew she was kidding. "Oh, Santana, I don't think we should really, um, mention this to anyone else. You know, I think this was a little unprofessional."

"My lips are sealed. See you on Monday…Miss. Pierce."

She smiles and closes my door.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! :) I have a lot in store for this story!**


	3. Chapter III

I arrive at home from coffee with Brittany to Ellie yelling at me, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY, SANTANA?! I NEED YOU."

"I'm sorry, El. I went out for coffee with someone after the swim practice. But chill out, it's only 3:30, we have hours."

She ignored me. "We need to start getting ready!"

"Where's mom?"

"Where do you think?"

My heart sunk just a little.

"Did she say she'll be back in time for pictures, Ellie?"

"I hope."

Ellie and I got ready and patiently waited for Puck and Bryan to arrive. Bryan was one of Ellie's best friends. I knew that they both liked each other; it would just be a matter of time that they start dating. Ellie styled my hair by putting in perfect, beautiful waves down my hair. It was simple but it was different from the swimmer's bun or flat ironed hair that had been very typical lately. I fixed my makeup and put on my dress. It was a short strapless dress that was a light purple color that contrasted perfectly with my tan skin. It was accented with black tones and I loved it. I thought I was looking pretty hot, not to flatter myself too much.

My mom came home and apologized profusely for not being here to help us get ready. Even though she promised, I told her it wasn't a big deal. It's not like she needed to be here, I just wanted her home in time to see me off to my last homecoming dance. Bryan arrived first and Ellie took a few pictures with him. Then Puck came and we took pictures together. Then my mom wanted to get the four of us to take pictures before we went off to take even more pictures with our respective friends.

As we were driving to Brooke's house for pictures, Puck said, "You look beautiful, Santana."

"Well, I could say the same about you, Mr. Handsome Homecoming King," I said, squeezing his knee. Puck tensed a little. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." His tone was colder than it was two seconds ago. He softened. "I'm sorry. I mean, everything is fine."

I rolled my eyes and pushed it to the back of my mind. It was beyond my control now, I didn't care. If Puck was going to be an asshole then so be it, I'd find a way to still have a good time. We arrived at Brooke's house to see what felt like half of our grade, including Quinn. Honestly, she looked stunning. It was so weird seeing her wearing something other than a swimsuit or her stupid Cheerios uniform. Her blonde hair was perfectly curled to right beneath her shoulders. Her dress was a short, tight, sequined turquoise dress and she was wearing tall black heels.

Quinn saw us walk in and walked over. She said, "Hey, Mr. King! You're looking dashing tonight!"

"Yeah, he does," I cut in.

Quinn raised her eyebrows and put both of her hands on Puck's shoulder, stood up on her tip-toes, and whispered something in his ear. He remained expressionless as Quinn smirked and walked away.

"What'd she say Puck?"

"Nothing. Just, don't let her bother you," Puck said, wrapping his arm around me.

After 30 minutes of pictures, we were finally headed to the dance. Puck loves to dance, with Glee club and everything else so we danced for a long time. About an hour into the dance, Homecoming court was announced and Puck had to dance with Quinn. After watching them dance for awhile, a friend walked over to me.

"Hey, Santana, you look beautiful!"

"Thanks, Jenna. So do you! Except…" I repositioned a piece of her hair into place. "There."

"Thanks. Did you come here with Puck?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?"

She became startled, "Oh, um, no reason. Nothing. Just… forget I said anything."

"Jenna, seriously, what…?"

"Okay… did you go to the party last night after the game? I didn't see you there."

"No, I had a college swim practice at LU this morning, I went home to rest. What happened?"

By this point, I was putting it all together, the tension and Quinn. It was all making sense and I was getting pissed.

"Well, I don't know if it's true but I heard that he hooked up with Quinn last night."

I felt like I was going to throw up. I had a feeling but I didn't want to believe it. I guess it was similar to how I felt about girls. They were both things I didn't want to acknowledge. I wanted to act like everything was okay; to act like nothing is happening when in reality, everything is.

She gave me a one-armed hug. "Hey, hey. I don't know if it's true, Puck's a great guy, I don't really even believe it myself."

At the same time she said that, we both turned to look at them dancing and we both knew it was true. The song that they started dancing to was over and a different song was playing. They weren't slow dancing anymore, she was grinding on him. Both of his arms were wrapped around her waist and placed on her stomach. His head was low, near her neck. One of her hands was placed on his face and the other hand on top of one of Puck's hands on her stomach. Puck saw me looking at him, stopped "dancing," and ran over to me.

"That's not what you think, Santana."

"Oh, really? It isn't. I'm pretty sure my eyes don't lie Puck. You're an asshole."

From behind me, I heard Quinn say, "Get off his jock, Santana, seriously. Just let him have a little fun." She turned towards Puck. "Didn't you have a lot of fun last night at the party…without your psycho girlfriend?"

Puck opened his mouth but no words come out.

"Seriously, Quinn, stay the fuck out of this!" I was on the verge of screaming.

"Whoa! Miss. Perfect, you better watch your mouth."

"Fuck off Quinn!"

Quinn raised her eyebrows, and touched Puck's cheek, "Puck, you know where to find me if you want to have some real fun." She narrowed her eyes. "You know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

She walked away as more of a crowd started to subtly form around us. There were unwanted tears forming in my eyes that I flicked off with the back of my hand.

"Puck. Did you sleep with her last night?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"What?! No, I would never do that to you!"

That was the last straw. I went at him with everything I had. "Really because that's what it seemed like to me. It all makes sense now, you were all tense during pictures, Quinn was whispering in your ear, probably about how great of a night she had last night? Tell me, did you screw her before or after you texted me and told me you loved me?" His eyes just jumped from me to the space around us. I couldn't deal with him. He wasn't even man enough to admit it. "We're done, Puck."

I turned around and walked away. I sat down on a bench outside the entrance. I had such weird feelings. I was sad and mad. How could Puck do something like that to me? After all this time, he had the audacity to cheat on me; with Quinn Fabray of all people.

Not even a minute later, Colby and Brooke came running out. They came over, hugged me, sat down, and held my hand.

I tried to control my anger and lowered my voice to a normal volume. "You guys were at the party. You knew, didn't you? And you didn't tell me. Why?"

"There wasn't a time to tell you," Brooke explained. "You were with Puck every time that I saw you. Please, don't be mad. We were going to tell you as soon as we could."

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter. There's no use in getting mad, especially at you two."

They both looked down, Colby said, "I'm so sorry. If you want to go home right now, Ian and I can take you home, we're about to leave. Or you can come to my house, or I can come to yours, or Brooke's, or you can be left alone. It's whatever you want."

I heard footsteps heading over, it's weird how I could even recognize his footsteps, "Girls, can you give us some privacy."

"San?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," I said flatly.

"We'll be right over here," Brooke said with a hug.

"Santana, look. I love you so much, more than anything in the world. I was drunk last night, I made a mistake. She was drunk too. I was mad that you didn't come to the party. I knew you had that practice, but I didn't understand. I love you. Please give me another chance. I made a mistake. I promise I will make it up to you."

I wasn't sad anymore. Now I was just angry. "No, Puck. Making a mistake is forgetting my birthday. Making a mistake is getting sine and cosine mixed up. Making a mistake is forgetting a football play. Making a mistake is _not_ sleeping with Quinn Fabray! That's not a mistake. Out of all the people to cheat on me with, you chose her."

"Would it be different if it was someone else?"

"No. That's not the point. I just feel like the two years we spent together, you would have a little more respect for me. You will probably never understand how much that this hurts."

He look stunned, I got up and walked over to Colby and Brooke, "Can someone take me home?"

"Of course, let me get Ian."

I waited with Colby and Puck left and walked towards the parking lot. He came back a few minutes later with my phone and said, "I'm never going to stop trying."

I looked into his eyes, straight into them and was so close to giving him a second chance. Then I felt Colby squeeze her arm that was around me and I looked away. Puck turned around and walked away with his head down low and hands deep in his pockets.

I spent my whole Sunday eating ice cream with Ellie. We started _The Notebook_ until we realized that the main character's name is Noah. So we had to change movies_._ Ellie tried her best to cheer me up. She is such a good sister, it just wasn't working. My phone was blowing up with "Are you okay?" and "What happened?" texts. I didn't reply to any of them. They'll all know soon anyway. Puck tried to call me several times, left a few apologetic voicemails and texts. I ignored them all.

Deep down, all I really wanted to do was talk to Brittany. I wanted her to tell me everything is going to be okay. She was literally the only person who would be able to cheer me up.

Eventually, Monday rolled around like it always does. I forced myself to get dressed into something other than athletic wear. I couldn't show Puck that he got to me so badly. I threw something together that looked halfway decent and put on some makeup.

I made my way through the questions from everyone and tried to focus on my school work. I got to my English class, the class where Puck, Quinn, and I all had. Ironically, we all sat in the same row. The bell rang and Finn Hudson, one of Puck's buffoon-like teammates announced the obvious, "Whoa, guys, look at how awkward that is. Those three are all in the same row!" The classroom erupted into whispers.

Luckily, by this time in her student teaching, Brittany was starting to become very independent in the teaching setting. "Okay, class I'm going to pass out the _Brave New World_ quiz over the chapters that were assigned last and then we'll discuss them."

I was easily the first person done with the quiz. I got up and handed it to Brittany who was in the front of the classroom at the podium. She gave me a silent, quizzical look. I shrugged my shoulders slightly and gave a crooked smile before sitting back down, maybe she did care. I wanted to talk to her so bad, and when discussion started, I couldn't even focus. I was hanging on every word she said but not for content, just because it was her. I was interrupted from my awkward day dream by a tap on the shoulder. I turned around.

Puck whispered, "Hi, I know you don't want to talk to me but I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You didn't answer my calls or texts…"

I didn't respond and turned back around so he didn't see the genuine dejection on my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brittany briefly looking at me before continuing her sentence. It made me want to talk to her even more.

I went to practice later after school literally dragging my feet. It's only really bad times when the smell of chlorine doesn't cheer me up.

This practice, I swam so hard. I was going seconds before the interval that I was supposed to be at, it was even a decreased interval. I put all my anger and sadness and confusion into the water. My coach helped and pushed me hard, like always, but I didn't spend any time joking around or trying to piss off Quinn. She was the last person I wanted to see, which made me want to get off the wall even more. I just swam.

When I got home after practice, I found an old box. I went into my closet, grabbed anything that reminded me of Puck; a hoodie that he gave me when we were out and it got cold that I never got back to him, every shirt that had his name on the back to support him in sports, all of his football buttons, and threw them all into the box. I found everything else that he ever gave me and threw it in there with it. I closed the box and closed the Puck chapter in my life.

I sat on my bed and opened my calculus book. I felt purged. I was fine. I was going to get over him if it was the last thing I did.

* * *

The next Monday, I was running out of the locker room after I went to morning practice on a whim. I had a meeting that I had to be at school early for I was running a little bit late. I felt like I was finally back to myself. I passed the copy room on my way to the meeting. Brittany was in there, leaning against the machine with a coffee in hand waiting for the copies to print.

She smiled at me and said, "Hi Santana," through the door. My day was made, just by two simple words from one person.

I walked into the doorway, "Hello, Miss. Pierce."

"Is everything okay? Do you, uh, need to talk?"

I thought for a few seconds. "….No. Yes. Yes. I do. But I can't right now, I have to make it to a meeting, I'm a little late and I'm the president of it."

"You're quite the gem of McKinley, huh? Here-" She started scribbling something on a scrap piece of paper, "I have to work after school but shoot me a text. And-"

"Keep it on the DL? I got you," I said with a smile.

I floated my way through the rest of the day, happily pleased from the morning. Even Colby and Brooke noticed.

"You seem really happy, don't you think Brooke?"

"Yeah, did you get laid?"

I shot her a look with a little grin; I knew she was trying to help.

"…Just kidding. But seriously, why are you so happy?"

I didn't know how to explain it other than, "I just… I think Santana is back. I'm over him."

"Finally!" Brooke said with a smirk.

By the time I got done with practice that night and showered, it was around 7. I reached into my backpack and looked at the piece of paper in my hand. Is 7 too soon? Is she still working? I don't want to seem like an annoyance. I was psyching myself out; she gave me her number for a reason. She wanted to talk to me. Why was I getting so anxious?

I got out my phone and typed out a message _Hey, Brittany. It's Santana. I just got done with practice, you still up for a talk?_ I contemplated for at least 10 minutes if the message sounded alright. Then I realized that I would never get anywhere if I didn't just send it, so I did it. It was done, I couldn't take it back. I figured that I would be wasting my time if I sat around waiting for my phone to go off so I took out a binder and did some vocabulary while watching whatever was on TV.

I heard my phone vibrate after about 30 minutes. _Hey Santana! What did you get on #35 in calc?_ It definitely wasn't Brittany, it was some guy from my class. I texted back my answer and went back to vocab. My phone vibrated again, probably him again, I was right. _Thanks Santana!_ I felt my phone vibrate once again. Finally! It was her. _Hey! Yeah, I just got off. If it's not too late and you want to come over, I'm down. Only if you want though… _I laughed, she was adorable. I texted back, Well, _I am down J Be there in 10._

I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. I had changed into some running shorts and a Nike v-neck after the shower and my hair was in a messy bun. I wasn't sure if I should change or not. I put on just a bit of makeup and sprayed myself with a dash of perfume. I went into Ellie's room. Blair and another friend, Taylor, were in there.

"Hey, do I look okay?" I asked the girls.

"Horrible," Ellie said.

"Yeah, you always look pretty Santana," Taylor said, she was definitely my favorite.

"You look good. I like that shirt," Blair said.

Ellie asked, "Why does it even matter?"

"Oh, no reason. I might be home late tonight. Here—" I fished out some money from my purse, "Mom and dad probably are coming home late, you guys can order something in or get something, you can drive now, can't you Blair?"

"Yeah, thanks Santana!"

I grabbed my keys and got into my car. I made my way to Brittany's apartment. I drove around the premise and concluded I should probably park in the back, just in case. It was weird; I never cared this much about such little details. But when Brittany was involved, I couldn't help it. I kept my sunglasses on and made my way to her door. I'd only been there once, but I remembered exactly where her door was. I took a deep breath and knocked. The door opened after about 15 seconds—Not that I was counting. She opened it and I saw that smile and those ocean blue eyes.

"Hi," I said.

"You've just got the best way with words, don't you? So verbose. Come on in," She said, inviting me in.

Her apartment still had the great subtle fragrance of vanilla that I remembered from the last time. She was wearing yoga pants and a tank top. I couldn't help but stare at her legs when she walked towards the couch. She sat down and patted the spot next to her. I sat down too. The cat, Lord Tubbington jumped on my lap. I groaned at the sheer weight of him.

"Sorry. He likes you. I don't blame him," she said gently pushing LT to my side.

She asked me what happened and how I was holding up and although she was the umpteenth person to ask me that, it didn't bother me to tell her. I let it all out, leaving out nothing. She listened. I knew she was really listening because she asked me questions and interjected with her own advice. I went so much more in depth with her than basically anyone else. There was something about her, the way that she could be so silly but then be so serious and so easy to talk to. I told her things that about my relationship that even my closest friends didn't even know. Much to my dismay, I started to tear up. She grabbed my hand and held it in her lap.

"Hey, you know what Santana? You're extraordinary. I know what it's like to be hurt so bad by someone you trusted with everything. You'll get through this though and you already have for the most part. I know you have really great friends; I just want you to know that I'll be here for you. We may have met in some… different circumstances. This isn't usually like me, to be so drawn to someone that I probably shouldn't be. But there's just something about you, I can't explain it. You have so much going for you. You're pretty, smart, funny, and kind. Quinn and Puck, they're both fools."

She held my gaze for a few moments. Then she released my hand from her lap and replaced it on my cheek, leaned in, and kissed me. A rush of feelings flooded through my body. I had never felt this while kissing anyone else. I couldn't explain this feeling. Her soft lips and her gentle hands on my face, it felt so right, so different from everything else I knew. I placed my hands on her waist and pulled her in just a little bit closer. She didn't shove her tongue down my throat like most of the guys try to do. She didn't even put her tongue in my mouth but it had more feeling in it than any other kiss I've ever had.

The kiss ended sooner than I wanted but it was perfect and unbelievable. I was on Cloud 9. I couldn't believe this actually happened. We both opened our eyes. I looked into those deep blue eyes and I just melted. They were so gorgeous, she was so gorgeous.

"I—I'm sorry," She said pulling away.

I grabbed her hand, "For what?"

She shrugged. "That was completely unprofessional and I—"

"That wasn't what I thought it would be like," I say, cutting off her worries. "Kissing a girl…"

"Oh, yeah? What did you think it'd be like?"She asks me with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"Well, Katy Perry told me that it would taste like cherry Chapstick."

"And what was it like instead?"

"Better than cherry Chapstick," I told her. "It was soft and sweet, I liked it. It's not like I haven't thought about kissing a girl before."

"You have?"

I shrug. "Yeah, probably even more than I've thought about kissing boys. I thought it was normal."

She grinned. "Depends on who you ask…"

"Well, what do you say?"

"I say that if you're comfortable with your sexuality and who you are, you can think about kissing whoever you want. Even Lord Tubbington for that matter."

"And what if you're not that comfortable?"

"That's just something that you'll have to come to terms with. Everyone grows and changes, it's just a process."

I nodded as my thoughts race in my head.

"Have you eaten yet? Are you hungry?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I'm famished," I told her.

"How does pizza sound?"

"Amazing."

"Cheese? Pepperoni? Sausage? Veggie? What do you like?" She asked me.

"Anything really, veggie sounds amazing."

"I was thinking the same thing!"

Brittany pulled out her phone and ordered a medium pizza to be delivered. I walked over to my purse by my keys to give her some money but she wouldn't take it.

"You're so sweet, it's my treat."

The food came not long after. While we were eating our food, we talked. Not about the kiss though, it seemed like it was somewhat off-limits to talk about for now. After about another hour of hanging out, my phone vibrated. It was Ellie; she told me that mom wanted me home. I reluctantly got up to leave and she walked me to the door. I wasn't sure whether I should hug her or kiss her or shake or hand or even do nothing. Almost as if she was reading my mind, she opened her arms and gave me a tight hug. I didn't know why, I couldn't explain it but I was falling for my student teacher. I was falling for Brittany Pierce and I was falling hard.

* * *

The rest of the week of school was rough. Brittany wasn't acting like her usual self around me. During English class, she would usually laugh when I made sarcastic or witty comments towards people; I don't even think she was really listening. If I asked for her help in class, she would help me as fast and as formal as she could. My heart was hurting.

On top of the Brittany silent-treatment, Puck put on a big scene at lunch one of those days, trying to get me back. The New Directions all sauntered over to me at my lunch table and started singing "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys. He knew I was a sucker for that song. Puck came out from behind them and started singing the chorus to me, giving me a rose. Roses aren't even my favorite flowers and I thought he knew that. I tried to avoid eye contact while the whole cafeteria watched. When the song finally ended, he asked me to give him a second chance. He told me that he'd never make that mistake again. I was so embarrassed. I got up, shook my head, and walked away.

Puck found me by my locker a few moments later."You didn't like the song?"

"No, Puck. I loved the song." I looked him straight in the eye. "What I didn't like was you singing it. If I had the energy, I would sing you a song and do you know what it would be?"

"…No."

"It would be 'We Are Never Getting Back Together.' Please, we both need to move on, it's what's best." I knew it was a low blow and extremely cold but I was not in the mood for any of it. He needed to stop wasting his own energy and time, as well.

* * *

The Friday of that week, I went on a recruiting trip to the University of Virginia. NCAA rules allow you to have 5 official visits to D1 schools. I was invited to visit from about a dozen different schools across the country after I emailed them and gave them my recruiting info this summer. Last summer, my parents and I narrowed down the 5 that I wanted to take official visits to. I didn't necessarily have to take all 5 though; I knew it'd be hard to catch up with schoolwork constantly being gone. I had basically narrowed it down to University of Virginia, University of Georgia, and Brooklyn-Hale University.

UGA has been such a college swimming powerhouse and constantly produced high caliber Olympic athletes. Then again BHU was closer to home and it's such a prestigious school. Even before I knew I could do college swimming, BHU was one of my dream schools. They're swimming program continually places in the top 5 nationally. Then again, UVA also produced some nice Olympic swimmers and it was a very good school as well. After the official visits, I could still take unofficial visits or just a regular college visit if I was still undecided. I was on a time crunch though, early Letters of Intent would be signed in November and the athletic director advises athletes to sign earlier rather than later.

Neither of my parents could come on this one which was fine. They just drove me to the airport then I flew into Virginia where one of the coaches picked me and a few other recruits up. This wasn't my first recruiting trip so I already knew what to expect. You really just immerse yourself with the team and the campus atmosphere to see if it would be a good fit for you. We sit in on a few classes, watch their practice, go to a football game, and almost always party. It's great and a lot of fun. Then you talk to the coach about everything and hopefully talk scholarships.

It helped take my mind off of all of the weird feelings I was experiencing with my sexuality and the breakup. I just was so unsure about it all. I liked being away from it all, even if it was just for a little while. The girls on the team were so nice and the other recruits were cool too. I wasn't completely sure though, the coach had a different coaching style than I was used to. Obviously, he was a great coach, I just didn't know if he would be able to push me to my absolute potential.

* * *

The next week at school, I had to stay after school and finish up some things, the end of first quarter was a couple weeks away but they would fly by. After getting some quick calculus help and finishing a science lab, I was finally getting out of the school. Unfortunately, I had to pass Mrs. Hansen's classroom to get to the nearest exit. Walking past her classroom reminded me how much I missed talking to Brittany. My heart was at its wits end and I didn't know what to do. I hadn't really talked to Brittany that much since the kiss, a smile here in there in class but nothing else. I was too afraid to initiate a conversation. I walked by the room and saw her in there, sitting alone at the desk. I walked in, gloom and almost angry. She looked up and saw me.

"Shut the door, please," _Miss. Pierce_ told me.

I shut it and moved a chair next to her but not too close.

She put her pen down. "Look, I can't do this. That was stupid and totally unprofessional, out-of-line, and unethical. I'm can't risk my whole college career for a high school student. I just can't. I'm sorry but this can't happen. We can't happen."

Those words stung. I knew she didn't mean it.

I looked straight into her eyes, "Look, I understand where you're coming from. I know you're scared, so am I. I've never felt like this in my whole life. If you can look into my eyes and tell me that this-" I cupped her cheek and kissed her. I kissed her more than I've kissed anything in my whole life. There was anger and passion; it was all so raw and real. She kissed back. I stopped the kiss before it got to be too much.

"If you can look me in the eye and tell me that _that_ didn't mean anything, I'll leave you alone and stop trying. I'll walk out right now and you never have to talk to me again. But if you feel something, please, tell me. Don't leave me hanging."

She didn't say anything for what felt like eternity.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Sorry to stop off like this but I promise another update by the end of the weekend at the latest!**


	4. Chapter IV

Brittany inhaled deeply and finally started to speak."When I agreed to this—this teaching thing—I never thought that I would fall for one of my students. It never crossed my mind because… it's not supposed to happen. When I met you, I could tell there was something about you. You weren't the typical high schooler and I was drawn to you. I let you in but I knew if I let myself get too close, it would only end badly for both of us. So I tried to push you away. I figured that if we both stayed away from each other, our feelings would disappear. So I tried to stay away from you. They didn't for me, my feelings, they didn't change. You were always on my mind. I was constantly wondering about you, wanting to call you, to talk to you, to kiss you, but I forced myself to be stiff; to turn into a stranger hoping that at least they would disappear for you. However, they did not. Now here you are, in front of me, asking me if I have feelings for you. And I do. After the past week of trying to push them out of my head, they're here and they're stronger than ever. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I know this is different—for both of us, and I don't really know where to go from here. Should we give this a try?"

"I really want to. It's unknown to me. I-I don't know how to be with a girl. I don't want to keep a relationship a secret. But I know that if I was ever to do that for someone, it would be you."

She let out a breath and smiled. That was all I needed, there wasn't any more words that needed to be said. We were able to let out all of our feelings. It was all on the table now. I looked at the clock. I needed to be at the pool in a little.

"Do you have to go?"

"Yeah, I have practice."

"Can I call you tonight?"

"Please do."

* * *

I went to practice with such a heavy weight lifted from my shoulder. I killed it during the intense ab session that we had before jumping in the pool. I just felt great.

When we got out of the pool, Quinn said, "You know Santana? Usually, you're pissing me off because you're being an idiot but today you're pissing me off because you're so happy today."

"Oh, Quinn. Just when I thought I would get through a day without a snarky comment from you."

"Whatever. But tomorrow, work on your head position, it was a little low today."

Despite the fact that tensions have become really high since the whole Homecoming debacle, we never failed to push each other. We both knew that if we pushed each other, it would subsequently cause both of us to be faster. We fed off each other's swims and both got better from each other.

That night, Brittany called me at about 9:30. We didn't hang up until midnight, when I told her that we both needed to go to sleep; we both had school and all.

The next few weeks went by and finally Colby and Brooke both noticed how happy I had become. When they questioned why, I just told them that "my life was finally coming together and this is the first time in awhile that I've ever felt truly happy."

One afternoon, we had an early dismissal at school and I was about to work a swimming clinic for several up-and-coming young swimmers before practice that afternoon. I was able to stop at home for just about a half hour beforehand. I was really surprised when I saw my mom at home, eating a salad.

"Hola Ma, what are you doing home?"

"Interrogated for being in my own home by my own daughter?" She teased.

I just laughed and took a bite of her salad, and then it dawned on me; first quarter conferences. My mom always made it to conferences. It was definitely one of the "perfect Lopez kids" things. This was the perfect time to check up and make sure that her kids were upholding the family name.

"I took the afternoon and evening off for you and Ellie's conferences. Are you going to be able to come with?"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I totally forgot about it. We have an afternoon swim clinic that I volunteered to do with some of the other swimmers."

"That's fine, mija. Oh, something came in the mail for you today." She pointed to the side of the counter where mail usually sat.

I walked through and thumbed through the mail until I saw what she was talking about. It was a huge packet from Brooklyn-Hale University; my acceptance letter. I wasn't expecting an acceptance letter this early, they did have rolling admissions but it was still a very pleasant surprise. I opened it and read it out loud. "Dear Santana: Congratulations! I am delighted to inform you that you have been accepted for admission to Brooklyn-Hale University for the 2013 Fall Semester." I stopped reading and smiled at my mom.

"Santana, that is fantastic. This one has a 19% acceptance rate? Like Virginia."

"Well, it's actually lower than UVA. And recruited there the first week of school and I just loved it but I wasn't sure I would get in."

"I knew you would," my mom said. "Why have you only gotten one letter do far?"

"BHU has rolling admissions and I did their application first. I just finished some of the others."

"Do you have to be accepted to sign your Letter of Intent for swimming?"

"No. You just have to be accepted sometime within the year…" I said trailing off.

My mom got up and put a hand on my shoulder. "I know this is been a really tough decision for you but maybe this is a sign."

I looked at her and smiled. "Maybe." I didn't know if she was just saying that because BHU was closer than any of the other colleges of just because she really thought that, either way, it got the gears in my head turning.

"I'm proud of you. You need to get going. I'll see you when you get home tonight and I'll make a good, homemade dinner tonight."

"I love you, Ma. I'll be home for dinner," I said, giving her a hug.

After the clinic and practice, I got into the car and texted Brittany telling her that I hoped conferences were going well. I drove home and my house was so aromatic. My mom made tamales, Spanish rice, and grilled vegetables. My mom's hands weren't only great on the surgical table but also in the kitchen, her food was the best. Sadly, my dad wasn't coming home soon so it was just the girls for dinner.

"How did conferences go?" I asked, filling my plate.

"Ellie's went well, but yours…. Didn't go so well."

"Que?!" I said 'what' in Spanish, being surprised.

"Just kidding." My mom grinned. "They went great. Your teachers spoke very highly of you, especially your English teacher."

"Mrs. Hansen?" I asked.

Ellie interrupted, "No, the other one, I think it's your student teacher. She said her name was Miss. Prince or something."

"Pierce, Miss. Pierce. She's the student teacher from LU."

"Yeah, her, she's really nice. And she's, like, really pretty. Do you like her?" Ellie asked.

I suppressed a chuckle. "Yeah, I do, I think she's going to be a really great teacher! What did she say about me, Ma?"

"Oh, she just said that your writing was really great, your attention to detail in the novels was 'astonishing,' and that you were an all around great girl. She said you were bright and had a great future ahead of you."

I was so happy. I knew that Brittany wasn't sucking up to my mom, it's not like there was any way that my mom would know. She really thought of me like that and that meant the world to me.

I took a shower after dinner was over. Brooke called and said there was going to be a party at Jenna's house and she wanted to go together. She told me that Puck would probably be there. I told her it was fine, I could deal with it. It wasn't a big deal anymore and I felt nothing for him, especially because of Brittany. I told her that I'd pick up her and Colby in a little. I wasn't really in the mood for drinks anyway. Too much on my mind I guess. I changed into something kind of cute and put some necessities in my purse. I looked back at my phone as I was heading downstairs and saw there was a text form Brittany _Hi Santana, conferences went well. I saw your mom and sister! They're very nice. I'm so worn out._

I went to downstairs and told my mom where I was going. She told me to be home "at a reasonable time" or to call her if I was just going to stay the night somewhere. I went off to get my friends and we went over to Jenna's house. I told her that my mom talked about her at dinner and that she was sweet for saying that. I hung out and talked with everyone at the party and mostly texted Brittany.

"Ohh, who are you texting?!" Brooke asked, slightly tipsy.

"Oh, no one really. Just a swimming friend," I hated lying to people but it's obviously what had to be done.

"Hmmmm. That sounds interesting, is it a BOY?!"

"Ahh, no. It's just a friend from the Junior National team. We're just talking about signing and stuff." I felt bad lying but I couldn't tell her and she wouldn't remember this conversation anyway.

"….Oh. You were probably talking about that 50, 100, 400 stuff that I don't understand. Well me and Colby were thinking about setting you up with someone sometimeeee, okay?!"

"Oh, you guys don't have to.. I'm not really looking for anyone right now."

"Well, we'll see about that, I'm going to go get another drinkkkk!"

"Don't drink too much; we don't want a repeat of the last time…" I called after her. Brooke had ended up taking off all her clothes and losing them.

"You're so considerate, mom."

I smiled and left her and went into the sun room at the house. There wasn't anyone in there and it was cozy, even at night, so I lay down on the couch. I was pretty exhausted. I was trying to rationalize my new relationship with Brittany; trying to figure out what it meant about myself. Am I gay? This wasn't the first time that I'd had these thoughts though. It was always in the back of my mind but I never let it deviate. I always had Puck or some other guy. Woman, they're gorgeous and they're kind and they're sweet. All this time that I've spent trying to avoid thinking about this was all flooding back to my head; all the times where I would try not to stare at girls at swim meets, all the times where I'd try to tell myself not to feeling anything when I saw gay people on TV or in movies; all the times where I'd wonder if I was lying to myself just to get through. This is more than just dating a woman, this is my whole life.

And then there was Brittany. What happens after Brittany completes her student teaching? I would hope we would still be together by then. I couldn't picture myself with anyone but her right now but I was barely even out to myself. How do I tell my parents? My friends? I hadn't talked to Brittany about any of this yet, there wasn't really any time to yet. It was imperative that I did, I felt so small, and I felt like I would never be able to do all of this on my own. I texted her all through the night while staying in that living room just thinking about everything. I soon ended up falling asleep on the couch. I felt someone waking me up about an hour later.

"Santana, Santana? Wake up. Do you want to spend the night at my house?" I heard Colby's voice.

"Uhh, yeah. Sure. Let me text me mom." I got out my phone and we made our way to my car.

I woke up in the guest bedroom of Colby's house when the sun attacked my face through the window. I felt pretty tired; it was only 8:30. I wasn't very good at sleeping in too late, much to my dismay, probably because of years and years of early practice. Brooke shook beside me and woke up with a quite roar.

"OHMYGOSH. My head feels like little men stomping around in it." I got up and got her some Tylenol and water from the bathroom.

"You're the best, Santana, what would I do without you?"

"You'd have chronic migraines from hangovers and no ride home from parties."

She laughed and got up. Colby woke up not too long after and I made them pancakes and bacon for breakfast. We ate and laughed and talked until their hangover was alleviated.

I said goodbye and left around 10, I was really anxious to see Brittany. I got home and checked my phone. My mom and dad were going to be home for dinner but Ellie went away for the day with friends to drive into a bigger city to go shopping and eat. I had the house to myself for the afternoon. I called Brittany and told her she could come over. She was skeptical at first but I assured her that no one would be home for a pretty long time. I gave her my address and she said she'd be over as soon as she could.

Meanwhile, I changed into jeans and a shirt and I looked around the house and straightened up a few things. I made sure Ellie's cat's litter box was clean and then chilled with the TV on, messing around on my phone. I was getting into an intense rerun of _The_ _Kardashians_ heard the doorbell ring. I immediately was catapulted out of my trance and shut off the TV. I knew who it was but I was still excited to… see who it was. I opened the door and she was standing there. She was wearing jeans and a t shirt and holding a bouquet flowers.

"I, uhh, I like flowers," she said, all cutely. She handed the flowers to me and I invited her in. I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I led her to the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers.

"Oh, crap, your car. It should probably be in the garage—People go by my driveway all the time. If you want, just give me your keys, I can go park it in there."

"Alright," she handed me her keys and headed towards the door, "I'll just, umm, mingle."

I laughed and said, "You're so cute."

I got into her bug and smiled when I saw the wallet-sized senior picture that I had given her on the right side of her speedometer. I parked her car right next to mine in the garage and hurried inside.

"So… do you want a tour of the Lopez residence?"

"I would love one," she said, grabbing my hand.

She awed at the pictures of a younger Santana and commented on the décor of the house, she thought the house was great and very nice. I led her upstairs and showed her Ellie's room, our bathroom, and lastly, my room.

"So this is your room? This is where you sleep." She sat down on my bed.

"Yupp, that's usually what happens when I come up here." I winked at her and sat down next to her. "I'm really glad you came here today."

I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Finally, she cupped my cheek and kissed me. I loved the way her lips were so soft and seemed to fit perfectly with mine. I felt her tongue slip into my mouth and our tongues intertwined. It was like they were dancing. Brittany grabbed my waist and swung me down on the bed. We kept kissing for a while longer. I was getting so hot. I pulled back and she held me in her arms. I felt so comfortable. I arranged myself so we were face-to-face but I was still in her arms.

"I have to ask you something," I told her.

"Yeah? Anything."

"Are you gay?"

"Um, I don't know. I don't want to sound like everyone else but I'm not really into labels. I dated one of my best guy friends a little over a year ago but it never amounted to much, we were better as friends. My longer relationships tend to have been with women. It's not saying I won't end up with a guy in the end, but if we're speaking form past experiences then probably not." She smiled with a shrug. "I just, follow my heart. It tells me what to do."

"You're so comfortable with this, Brittany. It's so easy for you to talk about this."

"It has to be, you know, it's part of my life. I honestly think that you fall in love with a person, not a gender. If it wasn't "normal" to be straight, how many people would date people of the same sex?"

"That actually makes a lot of sense… I've never really thought of it that way. When did you know? When did you tell your parents?"

"I knew since middle school that I wasn't completely straight, even though I had a boyfriend. Well, a "boyfriend," as much as you can say when you're 13. I told my parents right before my junior year of high school. It was hard for them at first, as it is with most parents, especially since they realized that some of my 'friends' who stayed the night were actually girlfriends." I chuckled. "I know, pretty scandalous and clever for a high-schooler. My parents wondered if they did something wrong, questioned it because I 'didn't look like a lesbian'. I called them out of their stereotypical opinions and they finally got over it and decided to accept me for who I am."

"What about your friends?"

She ran her fingers through her hair back and exhaled lightly. "In high school, I was a cheerleader and a dancer and I was pretty popular. I don't want to sound overweening or anything. I didn't really have to "come out" though, everyone just seemed to find out. My dance friends realized I wasn't completely straight long before. Apparently from the way I described female dancers after we watched rehearsals, ballets, or recitals. None of my friends really judged me though. I mean, of course I ran into some idiots but that'll happen anywhere. I helped a few of them come to terms with their own sexuality and that was really great. What are you going to do?"

"I don't really know, Brittany. It's so confusing. I know that I love being with you so much. I never really felt this way with any other guy. I've thought about what it would be like... to be with a girl, you know? It's always just been this lingering thought. I also don't know what to do with my parents. It's just; the Lopez kids have to be perfect. Having a gay daughter would ruin everything they worked for."

"Why? Because gay people can't have perfect lives?"

"No, not at all, it's because my parents can be really close-minded and traditional. And they're super Catholic. We go to church every Sunday. When I was at Olympic Trials last summer, we found a church to go to in Omaha that we had to leave early from to make my heat."

She chuckled. "God doesn't hate gay people, in my opinion. I know that's not what the church says, especially the Catholic Church. Just think about it. I mean, I still go to church, probably not as much as you but I still believe." She exhaled gently. "I'm not going to push you to do anything, obviously. And also, considering we still have to keep this a secret, at least for now. But when the time comes and you decide to tell them, I'll be there for you, through it all."

I smiled and kissed her.

"Speaking of, when do you stop student teaching?"

"My last day is December 7th."

"And then what happens to us?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there because truthfully, I don't know. All I know is that I want to be with you."

"I want to be with you, too. It's all new to me but I'm willing to work for it."

She agreed.

"When do you have to leave?"

"Well, I have to teach at the studio 4 and then I have rehearsal afterwards."

"Hmm, rehearsal for what?"

"I can't tell you." Britt said with a grin. "You'll see soon, I promise. And you'll be very, very happy."

"Nooo, tell me Britt!"

"I can't." she made a hand gesture of zipping her lips and throwing away the keys.

"Dork," I said, pushing her shoulder. "Are you hungry?"

"Oh, I'm just famished," she mocked me.

"You remember that?"

"I've probably played every moment with you over in my head at least 3 million times, each."

"Oh, jeez, I thought I was the only one who did that, let's go make something! I love cooking!"

"Is your cooking as good as your essay writing?"

"Maybe even better!"

I got up and we went downstairs. I figured I would make some kind of Spanish dish for her. I started cooking and she was sitting on a stool across from me, we were just talking. Her phone buzzed and she checked it. Her brow furrowed and she texted back.

"What's up? Do you need to go?"

"Nooo. It's just a friend; she's a little stressed and wanted to know if I was free."

"You should help her."

"No, I want to be with you, I see her all the time. It's just Shae."

I frowned; I didn't want to be the girlfriend who took someone away from all their friends.

"Tell you what, I'm going to put my phone on silent and eat this amazing lunch that my girlfriend is cooking for me and if she's still freaking out after that then I'll go see what's up, deal?"

I loved that she called me her girlfriend. It made my heart thump."Deal."

"By the way, you're super hot when you cook. You look all determined and whatnot."

"Stop, you're making me blush."

I finished making lunch and we ate. Brittany had never eaten it before but she said she loved it and I knew she would have told me if she really didn't. She even insisted to take all the dishes we used, rinse them, and put them into the dishwasher. I dreaded telling her she should check her phone.

"Shit." Brittany usually didn't curse so I assumed it was a big deal. She explained, "I better go, she called me 5 times and texted me 10."

"Isn't Shae like your best friend?" I asked.

A smile surfaced across her face. "Yeah. We were roommates in college my freshman year. Then we got that apartment for the next two years and then she became the president of her sorority this year. I had a really rough year a couple years ago and I couldn't have gotten through it without her. She's literally been with me through everything. She even knows about you. She's usually really level headed but she can get super stressed; especially with all this Greek stuff that she's into."

"She sounds really nice, Britt. I don't want you to go, but you should go and help her."

Brittany called her and she was going to meet up with her at _The Lima Bean_ in 15 minutes. I reluctantly walked her to her car in the garage and opened her door for her. She sat down and I closed the door and turned to walk away. She honked her horn and put her arms up. I turned around, grinned, and walked back.

She opened her door and said, "You think you're so funny, Santana Lopez. Kiss me now."

I leaned down and kissed her. It was so sweet, she was so sweet. I thanked her again for the flowers and told her to call or text me after her "rehearsal." Then I watched her pull out of the garage and out of my driveway.

* * *

Weeks went by routinely and predictably. I found out at a Halloween party that Puck and Quinn had started dating and I could honestly care less. Before I knew it, high school swimming started up. It was only the second week of practice and it was already kicking my butt. We had a morning and an afternoon swim practice with dryland conditioning on the weekends. Dryland is non-water cardio and weight training. The schedule changes when meets start happening but I basically had all my weekends booked until the end of the season. It was a crazy schedule but nothing that I hadn't done before. Finding time to hang out with Brittany around both or our schedules was getting hard but we found the time. I just remembered that I was able to find time to hang out with Puck almost all the time for the past two years, Brittany wasn't any different. Actually, she was. She was even more important.

I signed my Letter of Intent with Brooklyn-Hale University. After a lot of thought, it turned out that my mom was right and that BHU was the place for me. I honestly fell in love with the school, the campus, the team, everything about BHU. It is also such a prestigious school to be at. BHU has consistently dominated its conference in swimming and placed in the top 10 nationally. With the coach there, I believe that it had potential to become the top swimming school in the country in a few years. And it's not too incredibly far from home so coming back was not too much of a hassle. In the back of my mind though, I wondered if I chose BHU partly because it's still in Ohio and not across the country because of Brittany. I would never tell her that, at least not now, I don't even know if that was true but why would it cross my mind?

Along side of me at the signing ceremony was a few other athletes, Quinn included. Quinn decided to sign with Tennessee which was out of BHU's conference so we would only be competing against each other on the national level. We were both happy with our decisions. I know that Quinn's going to excel wherever she chooses to swim. I'm just very relieved it wasn't near me.

* * *

One morning after a particularly rough swim set, the whole team was in the swim locker room getting ready for school. I had just got out of the shower and went towards my locker. I was usually one the last ones there; I enjoyed my long showers and found a few teammates who were already getting dressed for school. We were just lounging around, getting ready, and talking; like usual. I checked my phone and saw a message from Brittany; she always sent something sweet, corny, funny, or all of the above. I always looked forward to it while I was swimming; it made my day, even the corny ones. This morning she sent me a picture of her and Lord Tubbington cuddling on her bed and the message _Meow gorgeous. Have a purrfect day ^_^ _. It was so cheesy but I couldn't help but laugh out loud.

Leah, who was one of my best friends since we started swimming together on the club team since elementary school said, "Every day, you check your phone after practice and laugh and smile to yourself like a dork, care to share?"

I laughed again. The other girls were nodding. This has been happening a lot lately; people have noticed the affect Brittany had on me. "I'm just in a really great place right now. You know?"

"Like how?" Leah asked.

"Like, you'll know soon. Maybe…" I said with a wink.

"Well, I won't try to coax it out of you—this time—but I'm on to you."

"—And then he just, urghh, it was so amazing. I've never had it like that in my whole life. And he was so sweet afterwards; he took me out froyo because I was craving it." A voice was talking from a row of lockers beside us. It was Quinn talking too loudly about her and Puck.

Another teammate said "Wow, Quinn, you're so lucky to have a boyfriend like him."

"Yeah, I am. At dinner, he also said that I was the best he's ever had, too."

I was already heated. I clenched my jaw hard. Leah put a hand on my shoulder and tried to calm me down. She could tell that Quinn was getting to me. She said, "Santana, don't, she's not worth it. She's just trying to get to you."

"Was that your first time with him since…?" Another girl trailed off in a question.

"Yeah, since Homecoming," Quinn said. I felt Leah's grip stiffen on my shoulder. "We wanted to wait to make sure it was the real thing. Obviously, we've done everything else. He said that it was refreshing to have someone knew and fresh, you know? Like he said she was getting boring and predictable." After a few seconds she said louder, "Didja hear that, Lopez?!"

I didn't care that Leah's death grip was still on me. I forced myself out of it, got up, and walked into the center row where I met Quinn there.

"You are such a bitch, Quinn," I snapped. "I really hope you are enjoying my sloppy seconds, but I'm sure you are used to it by now." That got to her. Most of the meets that mattered the most, big national or regional championships and state meets, I would almost always beat her if we were in the same event. Last year, at state finals, we both broke the state record in the 100 back but I broke it by .13 seconds more than she did, landing her another second place finish.

"I think you're just jealous that he obviously chose me over you when he did not even think twice when I asked him to jump in my pants the night of the Homecoming game."

I raised my arm up to slap her and she said, "Careful, Santana. We wouldn't want to tarnish your perfect record now, would we?"

Leah walked in front of us and pushed me aside. I looked back and saw her with that stupid sly grin on her face. I finished getting ready as quickly as possible, threw my hair in some kind of bun, put my stuff in my locker for afternoon practice, and left. Leah walked out behind me and called my name. I turned around briefly and kept walking. I felt bad for ignoring her but I didn't want her to see me like this. She followed me down the hallways from the pool to my school locker and as soon as we got there, I was able to pull myself together. She gave me a hug and told me that it was going to be alright.

My first class of the day was Econ, Leah and I had it together but I told her I wanted to take a long way to class, we had like 5 minutes after the morning bell. I made it seem like we were going randomly but I steered us toward the English hallway. We walked by Mrs. Hansen's classroom and I caught Brittany's eye. I gave her a look and she knew that there was probably something up.

By lunch, everyone had heard what had happened this morning. Colby and Brooke were grilling me about it. I told them the truth about what had happened. I couldn't wait for English though; it was really what I looked for the whole day. Mrs. Hansen gave a grammar packet and told us to do the packet or read from the current novel we were reading. This was the best opportunity to ask Brittany a "question."

"Hey, Miss. Pierce, I have a question on one of these."

She walked towards me. I pointed to this one and she leaned down closer to my paper and whispered, "What's wrong?"

"Practice this morning. I had a huge fight with…" I pointed behind me towards Quinn with my eyes.

"Do you have practice after school?"

"Yeah, until 530."

"Come over afterwards."

"I have a lot of homework, though."

"Just bring it with, no problem." Then she said, "and that's why the comma goes there instead of a semi colon," a little louder with a wink towards me, she was so sneaky.

"Thanks, Miss. Pierce."

At afternoon practice I cooled down enough to apologize to Quinn while we were stretching on the pool deck to start swimming. I walked over and we were talking alone.

"Hey, look, I'm really sorry about this morning. I probably shouldn't have said that to you and I was out of line. You're just… You're such a bitch to me sometimes. Why?"

She smirked, "Because it's great to know that I am probably the only person on this whole planet that can push your buttons."

"You're messed up."

"Ahh, maybe. But look, let's just agree to disagree, no hard feelings. I'm kinda sorry, too."

"Gee, thanks."

"SWIMMERS, QUIT YOU'RE CHIT CHATTING AND DO A 300 WARM UP!" Coach Roz yelled after directing her synchronized swimmers into their warm up.

Quinn and I walked to the lane that we actually shared with a few guys because we were so much faster than the girls, even though some of the girls were really fast, they weren't near Quinn and I's level. I actually felt relieved during the practice but I was still excited to go to Brittany's. We finished up just a little early and I raced back to the locker room. I showered as fast as I could and got changed pretty fast, as well. I put on sweatpants and a hoodie and put my hair into the same bun as this morning. I was getting comfortable with Brittany and I didn't really care if she saw what I looked like if I looked like a scrub, not anymore at least.

"Dang, someone's in a hurry!" I heard Leah say in our lockers.

I bushed, "Oh, yeah, just happy to be out of this place. I have an essay to write. I see you guys in like 12 hours."

"You're killing me, Santana," Leah said. "I was trying not to think of that."

"Ooops. Pretend I didn't say that! I'll see ya," I said, heading out the door.

I hurried out the door and towards my car. I looked at the clock, it was 5:10. I thought about going straight towards her apartment but instead I stopped at a convenience store and grabbed a Naked juice for her, it was her favorite. And I grabbed some chocolate milk and Gatorade to recover from practice. At the register, I had a somewhat awkward encounter with Puck.

"Oh, hey, Santana. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing really. I'm just grabbing some drinks."

"This isn't really the closet store from the school to your house."

Crap. I had to make something up fast. "Oh, I just got out of practice and I came here because I thought Ellie was at a friend's. She actually just texted me that she found a ride home but I was already halfway there… and thirsty," I pointed to the drinks, and then I realized I wasn't using my manners. "What about you?"

"Oh, Quinn just got out too and wanted me to come over. I was just stopping to grab a few snacks." I remembered that Quinn did live around here.

We shared a few moments of an awkward silence.

"Look, I'm sorry about this morning. I don't really know the full story, she's just, you know. But she really is a great person; I just don't think that you two could ever be friends."

"Yeah, you got that right," I said, paying the cashier. "Well, it was nice seeing you! Have fun."

"You too."

I got into my car, texted Brittany that I was on my way, and pulled out of the store, I realized that Puck was right behind me so I made the way down as if I was driving back to my house until he took a turn away from me, then turned around and headed to Brittany's apartment. I pulled in the back, put up the hood of my hoodie under my coat and grabbed the bag from the store and my backpack.

I walked up to her floor and knocked. She opened the door and invited me in. I looked around her apartment, no matter how many times I was here; it never ceased to amaze me of how amazing it was.

"You look cute," I told her. Her hair was thrown into a messy braid, her contacts were out and her glasses on, and she was wearing shorts and an oversized sweater.

"I know. I'm definitely looking like I want to impress my girlfriend." She grabbed my shoulders and gave me a peck on the cheek.

"You could wear a trash bag and still impress me." I put the bag on her living room table and set my backpack down on the couch. "So I was really thirsty and I stopped to get some drinks." I opened the bag. "Gatorade for me, chocolate milk for me." I take out the Naked juice. "Oh, and what's this? I guess you can have it. I think I may have enough."

"My favorite!" She snatched it from me and took a gulp. "Thank you, San."

I laid down on the couch and stretched my legs across Brittany.

"So… fill me in. What happened?"

I told her everything from morning practice, afternoon practice, and even the Puck encounter. She was such a great listener. I made sure to make a point to tell her that I wasn't upset because Quinn and Puck were dating; it was just because Quinn made it a point to piss me off.

"I'm so sorry. Quinn seriously is a jerk. You're a better person than me though. I wouldn't have been able to apologize first."

"I bet you would have but thanks. I'm just glad it's over. Enough about me though, how are you?"

"I'm very great now that you're here. And I actually have a few things to tell you that might cheer you up."

I smiled, "Okay, go."

"First, Lord Tubbington lost one pound from his diet that I put him on!"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm so very excited for him. I hope he continues to lose weight!"

"Second, I only have like three weeks left of student teaching left. And then… Oh shoot, I forgot, I'm too mesmerized by Santana Lopez's beauty."

I playfully punched her. "Tell me Britt!"

"Okay okay. You know how I've been going to rehearsals? I can finally tell you what it's for. Because I got you tickets. Two. You and a special date can go; it's in a few weeks!"

She got up and grabbed something from the table and handed it to me.

"You're kidding me?! It's for _West Side Story_!? You know that's my favorite musical and you've been keeping it a secret from me?!"

"I wanted to wait until I could get you tickets! You told me you were Anita in it for school once and you fell in love with the story. Well, it just so happens that that is what the musical is for LU this winter!"

I grinned. "You seriously remember everything I tell you. Thank you. You're the choreographer?"

"Yes. For the whole show, it was quite a challenge."

"Why don't they have a dance major do it?"

She chuckled. "They were supposed to but they said I was better, even though I wasn't a conservatory student."

"Well, duh you're better. You're Brittany Pierce… So just off stage work?"

"Well I'm also a dancer for the Jets in some scenes. I have like three lines."

"Oh my gosh. You're going to steal the whole show. I'm so excited!"

"I knew you would be." She cupped my cheek and kissed me. "Hey, are you hungry? I can make something so you can get started on your homework; I know you have a lot."

"That would be absolutely great!" I was really hungry; I always eat so much during swimming.

I walked over and started to do my homework. Brittany and I talked some; her whole apartment was pretty open. She made spaghetti and garlic bread. We ate on the couch and I was getting increasingly tired.

I don't really remember anything after eating except waking up and there was just a dim light on and a blanket over me. I was on Brittany's couch. I got up and looked around. There was a note on the table.

_Sleepy Santana (That's an alliteration, by the way)-_

_You just kinda fell asleep and I had to head to rehearsal for West Side Story :) I told you and you mumbled a response, I don't think you understood. There's food in the kitchen.. I know that's what you care about. Oh and your drinks are in the fridge! I'll be back around 9:30, unless you gotta get back home._

_-Brittany XO_

I smiled to myself and walked to the kitchen, she knew me so well. I was starving; despite just eating. I grabbed some fruit and the rest of my Gatorade while I checked my phone. There were a few texts from some friends and then there was also a text from Ellie and my mom. Ellie was spending a lot of time out of the house since Bryan and her finally started dating. And Ellie also just got her license and a car, so she didn't have to bum rides from anyone anymore. She told me she'd be home sometime and I told her that I wasn't even home.

My mom said that she and dad were going to be back super late and then sleep in the next day. I was happy, maybe they'll relax some. Truthfully, with Ellie and I out all the time, they get time to relax if they are home at night, I think they appreciate. They're also trying to get in enough hours so they can take off nights for my swim meets and Ellie's basketball games.

I went back to the living room and turned on the TV. I often had the TV on when I was doing homework, it was good background noise. Plus, I needed to finish my homework now. The last thing I needed was to be doing homework late with a distance morning practice tomorrow. I found an old _The O.C_ episode and started on calculus. While I was doing the stupid derivatives, I was thinking. I thought about Brittany, obviously. She consumed most of my thoughts these days. I was flattered that she trusted me in her apartment alone, even though I've been there a million times. I would trust her in my house but still, I felt like it was a big deal.

I finished calculus pretty soon after and started the vocab—that Brittany assigned. Ironic. One thing that Brittany agreed when we started this relationship is that she's not going to favor me in grades, she'll give me what I deserve, "which will be an A anyway," she says. All the grades go through Mrs. Hansen before finalized but really, what teacher wants to re-grade something that is already graded. We had a vocab test next week and I had already done flashcards to study, I just had to do the vocab assignment that corresponded. I was stuck on a particularly tricky one when I heard the door Brittany walk in.

"You look so cute when you put the end of your pencil in your mouth when you're frustrated or bored. Oh, and when you get even more frustrated and put both of your hands on your face and push your hair back, it's adorable."

"I'm glad someone thinks it's cute. But you know what's not cute? Giving your girlfriend homework. Come over here and help me with this one."

She took off her coat and put it on the coat rack. She took off her shoes and walked behind the couch and was standing behind me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and neck and gave me a hug and kiss on the temple, glanced at the TV, and then looked at the assignment.

"You know that Marissa dates a girl for a few episodes in like the second season." I laughed and nodded. "Which one?"

I pointed to a question. She literally walked me through the whole thing for a few minutes just to make sure that I had the definition down pat.

"Thanks," I told her. "You're like the best," I leaned up and kissed her.

She un-wrapped her arms and I started to pack up my school work. She sat down next to me and looked at me.

"Tell me about your family. I always talk about mine but I don't know a lot about yours."

"Well, I know that you know my dad is a businessman and my mom is a lawyer. And they live in Canton. And you know about Matt. He's a freshman at Ohio State on a tennis scholarship."

"Tennis. All I know about tennis is the Williams sister." Brittany laughed. "What is he majoring in?"

"Pre-Pharmacy."

I nodded. "What kind of businessman is your dad?"

"He owns and runs a chain of pharmacies around Canton. There's like 5 of them."

"Oh, so that's why Matt wants to be a pharmacist," I concluded.

"Maybe. He's just been around it so much but my dad isn't a pharmacist himself but Matt was able to work at a pharmacy in high school which was great for him."

"So if you're mom is a lawyer and your dad owns pharmacies, your family must be…" I struggled to find an appropriate word. "Well off."

"Yeah," she confirmed. "We're definitely not poor."

I nodded.

"I'm always reluctant of telling people, I don't want to be labeled some spoiled rich kid. You know don't you? With your parents and all."

"Oh yeah. I know exactly what it's like."

"I'm very blessed that I have what I do have and I've been given all these opportunities but I also know what it takes to work hard for something. My parents weren't the ones dancing at the national championships, I was. They didn't pay my way to be on the Dean's list all throughout college." She sighed. "And they're not very happy I choose teaching. They think that I'm smart enough to do something else, something that makes more money. But I would never want to. Teaching is my passion."

"I know you could excel in anything you set your mind to. However, you are a phenomenal teacher. You get it, with the students, you help them understand."

"You're so sweet, Santana. Thanks for letting me vent."

"Of course, Britt. What was dancing in college like?" We talk about her studio teaching job a lot but we never really talked about the time she spent dancing in college on their squad.

"Eh. I mean, I was a Lima Dancing Bean." I started to laugh. "I hated the name. The mascot isn't even a bean. I just tried out the summer before freshman year and I got in. I loved it, dancing at games and stuff and then doing the competitions. I quit after two years though. I loved the dancing but some of the girls were absolute jerks and I had other things going on at the time. I mean, dancing is my thing but I couldn't take it anymore. It worked out well though because I got to graduate a semester early. If I was still dancing, I wouldn't have been able to. I actually would have had to stay an extra semester instead of graduating a semester early."

"Wait. Why?"

"I don't think I'd be allowed to student teach while dancing, since I'd be gone with competitions."

"Ohh, I see. Are you sad that you didn't continue?"

"No, I danced so much ever since I can remember. I love it though and that's why I still teach because I'm always going to be connected to it, somehow. It's just refreshing to know that I don't always have to be worrying about if what I'm doing or eating will jeopardize my dancing. And I was happy to do this musical. Choreography was always my passions."

"Brittany, you are so amazing. Is there anything you can't do?"

"Ha, you say that like you're not, you freaking fish. You're going to get an Olympic medal someday."

"Oh, stop! You're so sweet," I kissed her and then looked at my phone, "Oh, crap. It's like 10:30, I need to get home. Thanks for dinner. And everything."

"Oh, anything for you," she grinned and I started to gather my stuff.

We started walking towards the door. I put my hood on my head and started fiddling with my keys. She held my hands and put them around her neck. She then placed hers on my lower back. She leaned in and kissed me. I pulled her in and kissed her, I wanted to stay like this forever, but I had to get going.

I gently pushed her away, "I have practice in less than 7 hours and if we keep kissing, I'll run into the walls because all I'm going to be thinking about is you and kisses."

She laughed and gave me one last peck on the lips. She said, "I'll see you tomorrow. Text me when you get home so I know you got home safe." Brittany always wanted me to text her after I left her place to know that I got home alright. It would be annoying on anyone else but her.

"Alright, goodbye gorgeous. Bye Lord Tubbington!" I yelled through the apartment.

She laughed and shut the door.

On my way home, all I could think about was that in three weeks, we didn't have to hide anymore. Well, I guess we still did. It's not like I had told anyone. I still didn't even know how to tell anyone, who I should tell. It was all too hard. I figured that the perfect time would come for me. I would be able to tell when it was the perfect time to "come out" or whatever. I was just scared. So scared. What was everyone going to think? Puck? How would he feel? The way I feel with Brittany, the gentleness of her, her small hands, soft lips, and petite figure, makes me never want to be with a guy anymore. Had I felt this way about anyone else? Brooke? I remembered the way I felt when she held my hand or when she would kiss my cheek. Doesn't everyone go through that though; questioning who they are and their whole identity? I just wish it was all figured out for me. I never stopped thinking about it.

Then there was God. I had been a strong Catholic my whole life, receiving every sacrament when it was due time, loving Him with every ounce of my body. Of course, I wasn't always the best person in the world. I had definitely done and said a bunch of thing I regret and I definitely don't follow the "rules" word for word. But no one is perfect.

I know what people say, that people who act on homosexual tendencies are hated by God. However, the God I know doesn't hate on things like that. The God that I know would not want someone to live a lie and be unhappy. The God I know wants the best for everyone, wants what will make them the most happy. I was just scared, Catholics don't except it but I will always want God in my life. I was lost.

I pushed these conflicting thoughts away and told myself to take it one day at a time. All I needed to focus on right now was swimming and Brittany.

* * *

**Sorry that this was such a long chapter. I just didn't know where to stop!**

**Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! :)**


	5. Chapter V

The next week was Thanksgiving; we had a half day Tuesday and the rest of the week off. I was so glad to be able to get a break and catch up on everything. Unfortunately, Brittany was leaving and going back to Canton for the whole break to see her family. She told me that she'd text and call when she could, and I knew she would.

This Thanksgiving, I was thankful for so much. This past year has definitely been such a whirlwind, full of excitement and triumphs. I was so blessed to have everything that I have. I would write a list, but it would be too long. I just kept in my head.

On Thanksgiving Day, I did some volunteer work with my youth group with Ellie, putting together meals for people who wouldn't be able to have some on their own. Afterwards, we'd go with the family to see my mom's side of the family in Indiana. I asked Ellie if she wanted to go to Lima University to see _West Side Story_ with me the next week. She didn't think a thing of it, she knew it was my favorite musical and so it wasn't like it was out of the blue. I felt like I should tell someone about Brittany and I. I knew that I could trust Ellie. I mean, she's my best friend and we're super close. I knew she would accept me; she is pretty chill about most things. I already knew her stance on homosexuality and she honestly could care less so I was pretty sure that it wouldn't be too much of a problem. I just didn't know how to do it.

The Saturday before break was over; Colby called me and wanted to know if I wanted to have a fun day and go to a party at night. Colby, Jenna, Brooke, and I all loaded into Brooke's car. We went shopping and eating.

While we were waiting for food, Colby asked, "Santana, you signed with BHU right?"

Jenna said, "Colby, we were there. You took a picture of it and put it on Instagram."

"Oh, right! I forgot."

Brooke said, "And she wears BHU stuff like every other day."

"Gosh! I was just checking. I know that Quinn like changed her mind every day before deciding on Tennessee!"

Colby asked, "You know what you want to major in yet?"

"I don't know yet. Everyone wants me to do pre-med like my parents but I don't know if I could last. And I don't want to be like them; always gone and always stressed. Maybe I'll do engineering or maybe business."

"Pre-med? Engineering? Business? I just know that if someone were to pull off an athletic scholarship and a major like that, it would be Santana Lopez," Colby said.

I just grinned. "I guess we'll see."

Afterwards we went to our friend Kyle's party. He always had some of the best parties around. "Best" being a relative term. Much to all of my friend's dismay, I decided not to drink in season. I talked to everyone at the party before chilling on the couch at Kyle's house. I changed the show tunes that Rachel Berry had played to something else, this was definitely not the place for show tunes. Kyle saw me from the kitchen, walked in, and sat down next to me.

"Hey, Santana! I hope you're having fun!" I could smell the beer on his breath.

"Oh, you know, having as much fun as I usually do."

He chuckled, "So why aren't you drinking?"

"Drinking makes my swimming suck. When I drink, I can feel my swimming suffer the next few days. There's a lot coming up and all, it's just easier to stay sober. Besides, all I do when I'm drunk is cry."

"Well that is a very adult decision of you, Santana."

I chuckled. "Thank you. Besides, someone needs to drive these fools home!" I nodded towards my friends who were giggling and flirting with their boyfriends or other boys.

He laughed, "Well, we'd figure something out." He moved in a little closer and put his arm around me. "You know, you're a really amazing person, Santana. I always enjoy your very honest attitude and I really do think you have a great personality. You're freaking brilliant and beautiful. Is there anything you can't do?"

"I can't run a 5k in under 18 minutes like someone else here." I poked his chest. Kyle was an amazing runner.

"Yeah, maybe just 19 minutes for you." he winked. He pulled his arm off from around me. "Look, I know that you just got out of a long relationship, and I know we don't talk that much but I think that you should let me take you out on a date."

I wanted to tell him no and that I was already dating someone but obviously I couldn't. And he was being so nice so I just went for the humorous approach, "Are you drunk?!"

"Absolutely not. You don't have to answer right now but just think about it."

"Alright, I will."

We both stood up and he said, "Just let me know, no pressure though."

I said I would, let him give me an awkward hug, and joined my friends.

* * *

"If they could just be delivered to the Lima University Performing Arts Center before 7 tonight, that would be perfect."

"That's no problem, ma'am. Have a good morning."

"You too."

It was an early morning and I was just calling in a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to Brittany for the musical tonight. The card inside said:

_Britt-_

_Break a leg tonight, I'll try not to be too mesmerized by your on-stage beauty._

_-S_

I was so stoked to go to the production tonight. School and practice went by so slowly in my impatient anticipation. The past few days have been so taxing on my mind and body that I was excited to get away from it all for awhile. I had to make sure I kept my excitement down so Ellie didn't notice too much of a difference in me. As soon as I saw Brittany on stage dancing, my heart just filled up with warmth. She was absolutely amazing. Her dancing, singing, acting, it was so great. If she wasn't such a great teacher, I would tell her that she should think about Broadway or Hollywood!

During intermission, I was browsing the program and I told Ellie, "Oh my gosh, that's so weird, one of the dancers is my student teacher in Hansen's class, Miss. Pierce."

"I thought she looked familiar. She's a really good dancer."

"Yeah, she is."

At the end of the musical, the cast all went to the lobby and mingled with the audience Ellie wanted to leave but I told her that I wanted to find "Miss. Pierce" to tell her good job. She reluctantly agreed.

We finally made our way down the line and I got to Brittany and said, "Miss. Pierce! I had no idea you were in this, you were really great!"

"Well thank you Santana! I'm glad you enjoyed it!" She put a friendly arm around my back for a small side hug. She whispered really quickly, "Thanks for the flowers."

"Definitely, see you tomorrow."

"Have a good night, Santana. You too, Ellie."

We both loaded up into the car. LU isn't too far from our house but I kept driving past the road to our neighborhood and drove around Lima. I decided that I needed to tell someone. Ellie needed to know, she's my sister, my best friend. She would understand.

"Uhh, where are we going?" She asked me.

"Look, I need to talk to you," I said, focusing on the road.

Ellie put down her phone and looked at me. "Okay, what's up?"

"I, uh, I… Can you promise me something?"

"Yeah, anything, Santana."

"What I'm about to tell you, it needs to stay a secret. It can get someone in really big trouble. It's not like really, really bad, but I mean… I just, please don't tell anyone. And please don't think of me any differently because I'm still Santana."

"I promise not to tell or think of you differently."

I decided that I needed to stop beating around the bush and tell her, "Look, I've been dating someone. For awhile now and I haven't told anyone because… because…"

She interrupted me and finished my sentence and said matter-of-factly. "It's your student teacher, Miss. Pierce, the dancer."

I slowed down and pulled into an empty parking lot.

I shifted my car into park and just looked at her. "Whoa. Wait, how did you know?"

Ellie grinned. "Look. Santana, I've known since like day one. First, you talk about your English class so much and you usually don't like English. Second, you're always gone. Third, only half of the time you tell me, usually when it's when you're out with your friends, the other times, you just say 'I'm going out, be back later.' Fourth, one time, I drove by the house with Blair and saw a red bug in the driveway. And I know none of your friends have the right personality to drive a red bug.

"And lastly, at the musical tonight, you tried to play off like you didn't know she was in this, I saw right through that. Then at the end, she knew my name. I've never told her my name, not even when mom and I saw her at conferences. Also, the tension between you two, it was crazy. Santana, I've known you my whole life and we're best friend. You can't pull one past me; I know when you're smitten. You can't get anything past me. And I really am happy for you."

I stalled for a little, soaking in everything she had told me and said, "Well aren't you just a little Nancy Drew."

Ellie laughed, "Yeah, I guess. How long has it been?"

"Almost three months."

"Wow, well, I'm not going to tell anyone. I mean, of course not now, I presume that if anyone found out, she'd be in really big trouble?"

"Yeah." We had talked about it a few times, how we had to be so secretive. She wasn't exactly sure what would happen if LU found out what she was doing. She presumed that they'd probably kick her out of the program and she would have to start all over again. "Once she finishes student teaching in a few weeks then we're out of the woods, I think."

"Are you going to tell mom and dad?"

"I guess I have to, when the right time comes. I'm obviously not going to do it now or anything."

"I love you, San. And I'm here for you, anytime you want to talk."

"I love you too Ellie, you're the best."

By then, I was comfortable enough that I was on our way, driving back home. We pulled in and I parked the car and put my hand on the door handle.

"Hey, wait, I have one more question; do you love her?"

"As a friend? Absolutely." I looked at Ellie, she looked smug, not the answer she wanted. I sighed as I tried to find my words. "As something more… I could very well see myself falling in love, let's just say that."

She smiled, my answer was sufficient enough now.

Brittany's last day of student teaching was closely approaching, so was the first swim meet of the season. My first swim meet was a week before her last day. Besides winning state and crushing state records, I had an underlying goal for this season: continue my 3 year streak of qualifying for state in all 8 individual events. It's not too terribly hard now that it's my fourth year into it and I've gotten so much faster. I just think it's really cool to qualify in all events. Not many elite swimmers who do swim on their high school teams do it that because they focus on their own best events. I do it to mix things up and not do the same thing every meet. Eventually though, I will focus on my state events but I can still have some fun. Quinn also shared this same aspiration and she had the same 3 year streak as me. We were kind of on better terms, we talked more. Mostly about swimming, we didn't fight as much. I think we both accepted that we'd never be great friends but we could try to get along, for the team, we were the captains after all. If either of us made state times in every event, it would be the first time in McKinley High history for a swimmer to do that all four years, let alone two swimmers in the same year!

Since a swimmer can only swim two individual events and two relays a meet, Quinn and I should be able to complete our goal in the first four meets, unless we repeat events. Then we'd focus all on what we swim best and building the fastest relays.

We left school early for the first meet of the season. I was so excited to get into competition mode again. I thrived on it, I loved the race, racing against myself, against the clock, against everyone else; it was the best. The meet today was about an hour away so I snuggled up in my swimming parka and went to sleep. I was awoken just as I was falling into a deeper sleep by another swimmer saying, "Get up, superstar! We've got a meet to win"

I grabbed all my crap and went through the regular motions of getting warmed up and memorizing my lane assignments. I snuck a picture of me frowning with the heat sheet in my hand. _You're gorgeous in a swim cap. Good luck baby, you'll be lapping them ;) _My first event was a medley relay. I was swimming the last leg, the freestyle leg and Quinn took the first, the backstroke. I was cheering on my teammates, this was a small meet with only three teams and we had it in the bag, but we were still racing against the clock. I stepped onto the block after the third swimmer entered and saw my mom walk in right on time, in true Lopez fashion.

The meet went quickly and the team won easily, so did the boys team. Quinn and I both made state times in our individual events, which was to be expected but still something to be excited about! Before leaving, I made sure to give my mom a kiss and thank her for coming, like I always did. Sometimes I rode home with her but I felt like I should ride the bus home on this first meet and have some team bonding. We stopped for a bite to eat and got home pretty late. Luckily I didn't have much homework. I called Brittany when I got home and we had a small conversation but I had to be up for morning practice.

* * *

The Tuesday before Britt's last day, during English, Puck said he needed to talk to me after class. I rolled my eyes but then I heard him telling some other people in the class to that he needed to talk to him as well. When English ended, I smiled at Brittany, she had to make her way out to stand in the hall and watch traffic. I turned around and saw a small group developing.

"What's this about, Puck?" Finn asked.

"Well, I was talking to Mrs. Hansen and we both though that we should throw a going away party for Miss. Pierce, Friday is her last day."

"Whoa, that sounds like a really great idea! I'm already thinking of ideas, themes, and decorations! I think we should pass out a list and sign up for what we want to do to make this the best going away party ever," Rachel Berry said with her best micromanaging tone.

Everyone else was nodding their heads, excited with the idea, and started muttering different plans or things to do.

"How about we meet tomorrow before school and plan this out, I don't want to be late to my next class," I finally interjected.

"Oh, I am actually agreeing with Santana. If I am late 3 more times this semester, my admission to NYADA could be in jeopardy," Rachel said.

"What the hell does that even mean?" I asked shaking my head. "Alright, we'll just meet in the caf at 7:30 tomorrow."

Then I remembered that I was definitely going to be seeing Brittany before then, I had to keep this a secret! I went through practice, keeping my mind busy by conjuring up some great ideas for the party.

After practice, Brittany called me, I told her to come over. Of course, my parents weren't going to be home early and we hadn't been able to really hang out since before her play. I went home and opened up the garage and kept it open, she knew to walk in through there now. We had a three car garage and I saw Ellie's was parked in one of the slots. I hadn't told Brittany that I told Ellie yet. I wanted to tell her in person, not on the phone or anything. I told Ellie that Britt was coming over and to "be cool."

Fifteen minutes passed and she called me.

"Hey Britt!" I said. "Where are you?"

"Hey, scrub. I'm in your garage right now but Ellie's car is here. Is she not home? I'm just checking, making sure and all."

"Right. No, it's fine," I said as I walked towards the entrance to the garage.

I opened the door, walked into the garage, and hung up my phone. She smiled when she saw me and turned off her car. I opened her car door for her and she stepped out. I pulled her in for a long kiss. I was definitely missing my sweet lady kisses. We pulled away after a while; she checked me out and saw I was wearing shorts and a t shirt.

"You must be freezing, babe. Let's go inside, before you lose a toe."

I laughed and grabbed her hand; she was honestly so very adorable. We walked inside and she shed her coat and scarf. I took her into the living room and we sat down on the couch.

I took a deep breath. "I need to talk to you, Brittany."

Her eyes got really wide. "Um. That doesn't sound too great. I hope that you're not…"

I smiled and said, "Well, with the kiss that we just had… no, just, no. It's actually about something else. It's about Ellie, actually."

She situated herself across from me on the couch so that we were facing each other. She grabbed my hands, held them between us, and said, "Okay, spill."

I was trying to find the right way to phrase this. I hadn't ever seen Brittany mad except one time when she was in a heated argument with her mom on the phone. She never loses her temper usually, it's all internalized. I knew she would be chill about this but still, I didn't want her to think I was just throwing around our relationship to everyone.

I guess I was taking a little too long because Brittany started to ramble off her own conjectures, "Ellie's pregnant?" "Ellie's on drugs?" "Ellie wants a boob job?" "Ellie has a crush on me?"

I laughed, she obviously knew it wasn't going to be any one of those and it helped ease my mind that she was trying to lighten it up.

"Yeah, she told me she saw this super hot teacher at school. Too bad I heard she's taken." We both laughed. I finally said, "Okay, for real now. I, uh, after _West Side Story_, I told her about us. Actually, she told me about us."

Brittany cocked her head. "Wait. She did? What do you mean?"

"Apparently, I'm not very secretive around her and she knows me way too well because she gave me several solid pieces of evidence on how she knew we were together."

"What does she think about it?"

"She's totally cool with it. She said she would be there for me anytime I needed. She was being super sweet. It was such a load off my shoulders, you know? Telling the first person."

Brittany kissed me. "You're so amazing. I'm so proud of you."

Brittany and I made a great dinner together and I told Ellie to come down to eat. In my head, I was freaking out, hoping that they would get along. However, I had to keep up my cool visage in front of them. It turned out that I was freaking out for absolutely nothing, they hit it off right away. I felt like they were both comfortable around each other and weren't afraid to talk about our relationship and joke around about it.

After dinner, I checked the clock; my parents would be home pretty soon. I told Brittany and we walked out to her car. She told me that she had something really special for me for my next meet. When we got to her car, she told me to close my eyes while she reached into her car. A few seconds later I felt her warm lips on my lips and she placed something fuzzy inside my hands. I pulled away and looked at the contents of my hands. It was a small penguin stuffed animal with an exact replica of our William McKinley Titans swim caps on its head!

"Britt! This is absolutely adorable! How did you do this?"

"Oh, you know, I have my resources. And by the way, I named it Tux," She smiled coyly and pecked me on the cheek. "I wanted to give it to you before your first meet but I was a little late. I'm sorry."

"No, it's perfect. Thank you. I love it."

"You're welcome." She got into her car and before she started it she said, "By the way, Santana. I have 3 days left of student teaching and very soon after, I'm taking my super gorgeous girlfriend on a date!"

All I could do was grin as I watched her pull out of my garage and into my driveway.

I went back inside and started homework. When my parents came home, I heated up the leftover dinner and just talked with them. Later that night, I was rounding up everything I needed for practice tomorrow and I heard a knock on my door. It was definitely Ellie's knock.

"You can come in, El."

She walked in, flopped on my bed, and immediately started talking. "Oh my gosh, Santana. I love her. She's great. She's so funny and so nice. And she's like, freaking gorgeous. I can definitely see why you fell for her."

I laughed. "Or is it you who's falling for her? Do I need to tell Bryan something?"

"Oh, yeah totally! But seriously, Santana, she's great."

We went on talking about Brittany for awhile while I finished everything I needed to. I finished packing my swim bag and turned in for the night.

After I got out of practice the next morning, I rushed to get to the party planning meeting. We had planned a seriously great surprise party. There were only a few awkward moments that occurred.

There was one semi-awkward moment.

"I just wish we knew what her favorite color was so we could match everything accordingly," Rachel said.

"Oh, it's purple but she likes turquoise too," I said matter-of-factly.

Everyone around the table looked at me questioningly.

"Uh, I…Well one time, she was checking my essay and I had those color on my nails and she told me it was her favorite color." Woo, I dodged a bullet there.

They all dismissed the concern and accepted it. I think they were happy to have a good color scheme.

On Brittany's last day, all of my English class was excited to pull off our well thought out surprise party. Mrs. Hansen distracted _Miss. Pierce_ with going to get copies or running other errands while we set everything up. I was walking back to the classroom from my locker with some streamers in my hands and I ran into Kyle, who was an office assistant and didn't do anything this hour.

"Santana! Have you thought about it? About my proposition?"

Crap. I had to give it to him; he waited almost two weeks, probably wanting me to talk to him. I was panicking; I didn't know what to tell him.

"Umm, yeah. Sure, I'd love to." WHAT? What did I just say?

Kyle grinned widely, "Alright! I'll text you and we can figure out a night that works with your crazy schedule!"

I smiled, "Sounds good."

We exchanged smiles and I walked back to the classroom. We finished setting up for the party and Brittany was going to walk in any minute. She finally walked in and she was so surprised, legitimately surprised. We all started to form a line and get cake. I declined. Cake wasn't on the Santana Lopez Swimming Diet, except on Christmas, that's a free day.

"Oh my gosh, you guys are so sweet! Ohh, purple, my favorite color!"

Finn was stuffing his face with cake and asked from his desk, "So, Miss. Pierce, now since you won't have to teach us, what are you going to do with all your time?"

"Uhh, graduate and then hopefully find a teaching position for next year!"

"That sounds good; you'll get to spend more time with your boyfriend."

She laughed, "Yeah, I don't have a boyfriend."

By now, the whole class was listening to this conversation.

"Oh, you don't? Are you taking applications? I'll take one," Finn said.

"Finn!" Rachel yelled across the room.

"Uhh…" Finn stumbled.

Brittany laughed again, but it was her fake uncomfortable laugh. "Thanks, Finn. I'm flattered but generally people who don't know how to use 'they're,' 'their,' and 'there' correctly aren't my type."

The whole class erupted in laughter as Finn blushed with his mouthful of cake.

After English, I got up to walk to my next class with Brooke.

"Did I overhear you setting a date up with sexy Kyle in the hallway?!"

Great, not even one hour since…

"Yeah, but I don't really like him like that."

"Why? He's so hot and so nice, Santana. I mean I like my boyfriend but…"

"He's kind of crazy and he drinks a lot."

"So do I and you still date me." I laughed. "And he doesn't even drink that much, really only when he isn't running and it's never like a lot!"

"I don't know, I guess we'll see."

"Be sure to tell me every. Single. Detail."

"You know I will!"

First, I had to figure out a way to tell Brittany. She was busy that night with a few friends and couldn't hang out but we could Saturday after my meet. I went over to her apartment, my parents went from the meet to work.

"Student teaching is over!" She said, overjoyed plopping down on the couch, "And I'm taking you on a date. I have a whole day planned out. It's going to be great. It's during break, and you don't have a meet or anything, I made sure of it. It's perfect."

"What are we going to do?"

"That's a secret." She grinned.

"Well, I'm very excited! I need to talk to you though. Uh, it's about a date actually."

She looked perplexed. I inhaled deeply and forced out the whole story, starting with the party. She listened, trying to take in all the information.

"So basically, you're telling me that you're going to go out on a date with someone else because you couldn't tell him that you were dating me and you're too nice to turn him down?"

"Umm, basically." I couldn't tell if she was angry.

Instead, she smiled. "I'm glad you told me. And I know I don't control you but I think you want me to tell you whether I approve of this or not. And I do. You can go."

"Don't say it like I want to… I'd rather go with you."

"I know. But you still do! Just have fun with Kyle. I've seen him around, he's very good looking, you know. Hopefully I won't have to fight him for you."

I kissed her cheek. "I don't think you have anything to worry about her."

* * *

The next few weeks were spent in heavy Christmas anticipation and waiting for break to come. I went to several swim meets, all with Tux, made more state times. Quinn and I both only had two more events to qualify for but there was plenty of meets left, if worse came to worse.

Brittany graduated at the Lima University December commencement ceremony. I made Ellie attend it, much to her dismay, it was two hours long. For the first time ever, I saw Brittany's family. I could barely see them, there were so many people all around, I didn't get a great look at them but I hopes that someday I'd be able to meet them. I saw Brittany's family there from afar and hoped to be able to meet them someday. Brittany snuck past her family as they went to get the car to see Ellie and I. We had a quick conversation before Brittany left to go with her family for a celebration afterwards.

The day after, I went to her apartment for a visit and celebration. I had been less paranoid since her student teaching ended, allowing myself to enter her apartment without my hood on and I wasn't as sneaky. I arrived at her door with my graduation present in tow.

She opened the door and I saw her face brighten. She kissed me and led me inside; taking the flowers I got her.

"So… college grad. I got you something."

She gently pushed my shoulder and saw the gift in my hand. "San, I told you didn't have to. I only want you."

"It's a big deal, Miss. Pierce." I handed her the large bag.

She opened it and pulled out the assortment of items in there; a coffee cup for when she teaches, an engraved pen with her whole name, a few books, and a bunch of desk supplies for when she has a classroom of her own.

"Santana, this was so nice of you. You're the best girlfriend ever."

"Pshh, tell me something I don't know."

"You're astounding modesty always just captures the moment perfectly. But uh, I have to talk to you. I need to tell you something."

"Okay, what?"

"Here, sit down." She pointed to the couch and sat down beside me.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all. I just wanted you to sit to hear this."

"Okay, spill."

"Before I graduated, I had to have a conference with my professor about student teaching and preparing myself for graduation."

I nodded, she already told me that she did this.

"Well, when we were talking, so much guilt washed over me and I had to tell her that when I was student teaching that I wasn't being professional."

I gasped. "You told her about me?"

"…Yeah basically. I mean, of course I didn't say your name or anything."

"What did she say?"

"She asked me if it was worth it. She asked me if I was to have to redo everything that I've done to get to this point if it would have been worth it…" She took a deep breath. "And I said yes because you're worth it." She took my hand and held it in hers.

I smiled weakly, still concerned with the situation, even though she had already graduated. "And then what?"

"Then she told me that it happens a lot in this program but not often do the college students report themselves, it's usually the teachers they're with. She said that apparently I was held in really high regard with all the staff McKinley and at LU. She said that she wasn't going to pull my grade because 'you can't help who you fall for.'"

"Wow, that's incredible of you Brittany. You could have gotten away with not telling her."

"I know, but it was the right thing to do. Also, she asked if we like… had 'sexual involvement' and since we haven't, it wasn't going to be as big of a deal."

"Oh she asked you that? Was that awkward?"

"Um, not really. She asked in a really like blunt way but it wasn't weird."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I asked.

"Because I knew that you would still be worried about it until I had my diploma in my hand."

"God, you know me so well."

We enjoyed each other's company until later on that night.

"I'll see you super soon, our amazing super special date is in a like two weeks!"

"I know, it's all I can think about! And I have that Kyle date tomorrow," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Hey, just have fun. And call me afterwards."

Luckily, I convinced Brooke to come with me and Kyle and bring her boyfriend, Tanner, with her. I told her that it would alleviate the pressure off of me to like him. Brittany was done with student teaching now, I needed to come out. I can't stop hiding. Now wasn't the time for this though. I just had to get through this stupid date. I was pretty sure I'd have zero chemistry with him. He's a good friend but I don't think I could have a deep heart-to-heart conversation with him. Kyle wanted to go to a restaurant, the nicest one in town.

Right when Kyle texted that he was on his way, Ellie asked, "You're going on a date with Kyle? Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Yes, silly. I just… I couldn't turn him down. I'm too nice."

"I've never heard anyone call you 'too nice' Santana. Maybe Brittany is changing you for the better. You told her right?"

"Of course I did! What kind of person do you think I am!?"

She threw her hands up in defense. "I'm just making sure. What if the date goes well?"

"It's not going to, I don't like him, simple as that. I like Brittany. A whole lot. It's going to be hard to think about anything else than Brittany during my date."

"Well, here he is, I'll see you later tonight?"

"Yup, I'll tell you all about it." I gave Ellie a quick hug, grabbed my purse, and left.

Kyle drove a silver charger. I got in and he looked really nice, he was wearing nice jeans, a sweater, and a collared button up under. He smelled pretty good too, not like Brittany though, he smelled like cologne; at least he didn't use too much.

"Hey, Santana. You look beautiful."

"You don't look too bad yourself!"

We drove over to the restaurant; it wasn't too far away, so small talk was sufficient for the ride over. We got there and waited for Brooke and Tanner.

The host asked, "Do you have a reservation?" He obviously thought we were a little too young to be going to such a fancy restaurant.

"Yes, under Kirsch, for four."

The host immediately changed dispositions. "Right this way."

We sat down and there was probably 30 seconds of awkward silence before Brooke finally spoke up, thankfully. "You know, Santana, I was thinking the other day that it really sucks that you swim because you'd be killer on the dance team. You're always dancing around and it's really not that hard to get the hang of our dances. They're nothing like the dancers at those dance studios." I immediately thought of Brittany.

I laughed. "Well thanks. I think you guys do pretty well without me!" I turned to Tanner and asked him, "How's wrestling going?" I was realizing how much my stupid school revolved around sports and Glee Club.

"Oh, pretty good, we just got done conditioning. I think it's going to be a good season, we have some great guys."

Oh my gosh, this is going to be a really awkward date. Our waiter came and handed us menus and asked for our drink orders. The prices at this restaurant were outrageous. I saw a salad that was $15.

"It all looks so good, such a hard choice!" Brooke was kicking me from under the table, she felt the awkwardness too.

"Yeah, it is, what are you thinking about getting, Kyle?"

He flipped through the menu. "Maybe the grilled chicken or the steak, what about you?"

"I'm not sure, the salmon looks good." Salmon always looks good.

Tanner chimed in, "Oh, isn't salmon your favorite food?"

I smiled slightly. "Well, next to anything that my mom cooks. How'd you know?"

"During football, Puck would always…" Then he stopped himself. "Nevermind."

Brooke giggled, it was kind of funny.

"Yeah," I said. "Salmon is pretty good."

I went straight to Ellie's room when I got home. She was in her room on her laptop. I texted Brittany, _DAMN. The award for the most awkward date ever goes to…_

Ellie looked up and closed her laptop. "Hey! How was the date?"

"Really fucking awkward. Like, no romantic chemistry at all. Thank God Brooke was there. He didn't even try to kiss me when he dropped me back here or ask me out again, that's how bad it was. We are definitely just friends."

"Well, that's what you wanted right?"

"Yes, definitely."

"So when are you going to come out?"

Her question floored me. "I don't know if I'm gay."

"You're dating a woman. You are gay."

"People can like guy and girls."

"Santana, I know you better than anyone and I've been thinking about it a lot. I think you like women. Do you ever want to have sex with a man?"

"Ellie!"

"I'm just saying…"

"I don't know. I haven't even had sex with a woman."

Her eyes widened. "You haven't?!"

"No. We're… it's just not the right time. I want to wait longer too. I want it to mean something unlike Puck and everyone else."

"I gotcha. Well, either way. You need to come out."

I sighed and said, "I don't know, Ellie. Do I have to?"

"Yes, you have to."

"So, if I just one day when mom and dad are home, just tell them 'Oh, hey, by the way, I'm dating a girl, she used to be my student teacher!' and then call it a day?"

She laughed. "No, you need to put a little effort into it. Find a good time and just tell them. I can help you."

"Do I tell my friends too?"

"I mean, yeah, eventually. Maybe not about Brittany though. But you should probably tell mom and dad first, you wouldn't want them finding out not from you."

"When?"

"Santana, I can't do it all for you! But preferably sometime soon, like maybe before state? You don't want to be a liar and hiding who you truly are for the rest of the year."

"Okay. I will. Thank you. For helping me. With everything."

"Just tell me that I'm the best sister ever and we'll call it even," Ellie said.

"You're the best sister ever."

Ellie grinned.

* * *

The next week was filled with the wonderful feeling of Christmastime. Brittany was going to Canton to see her family for Christmas; she was going down on the Eve and coming back after New Years. It was all for the better anyway, it's not like we were going to be able to see each other that much for Christmas. We were spending the holidays in Michigan with my dad's side of the family. Brittany was coming back a day after we come back from our Christmas/New Years extravaganza and our super special date that she had planned was for the next day. Unfortunately, all the fun would stop a few days later when break was over; I tried not to think about that.

My dad's siblings, like himself, were able to get out of Mexico and make big names for themselves. One of my uncles was a very successful entrepreneur who had a huge cabin in the countryside of Michigan. It was beautiful, even in the winter, as long as we weren't snowed in. I was glad to get away from Lima for awhile. I was happy that my parents were finally taking a break. It was really relaxing, even though I usually drive in to the city several times to spend some time in any pool that I can find.

We celebrated a small family Christmas together the night before we left for the cabin. It was cute and we all exchanged gifts. It's cozy, all of us in front of the fireplace and the Christmas tree with a mixture of Spanish and American Christmas music playing in the background. And it's nostalgic, we always digress about the years past and all the great memories we've had as a family. It's one of the few times where we can all just settle in together and be a family for once, without stress.

Ellie and I watched as our parents gave each other gifts. It helped reassure us that even after all these years of working together, raising their kids, and their careers, that they were still definitely in love with each other. Ellie and I slowly left them alone to… talk I guess. We went up to my room.

"Man, I'm so excited to go to the cabin tomorrow. I miss Monica and Jasmine so much."

Monica and Jasmine were two of our cousins, Monica was my age and Jasmine was Ellie's age. When us four were together, there was no stopping us.

"Yeah, me either! I hate that we only see them like twice a year, we don't even live that far from them."

"I know." A sly smile drew across Ellie's face. "So what is Brittany doing for the holidays."

"She already left to Canton to spend it with them. I miss her so much."

Ellie rolled her eyes with a giggle. "When do you see her next?"

"Like the day after we come home, we have a date planned. Kind of almost our first official date."

"Here?"

"No, we're going to Columbus. She has this whole thing planned out and she won't let me know anything. It's actually really exciting."

"That's kind of a bit of a drive, what if you guys run out of things to talk about."

"Oh, you're so funny."

"Make sure you tell me all about it. And I can cover for you if you need me to."

"What do you mean?"

She laughed, "Nothing, let's just say I'll keep my phone handy!"

The next day we made our drive into Michigan. I actually didn't mind car drives, I usually get all my homework done and then I am able to sleep. It's an overall win-win. My mom hates to drive long distances and if my dad gets tired, I usually take over. I really don't mind driving.

We arrived in record time and unloaded all of our stuff and made our way to the very familiar, huge cabin.

"AHHHHHHH! SANTANA! ELLIE!" That was definitely Jasmine's scream; Monica was standing right next to her waving her arms.

Ellie and I both dropped all of our stuff and ran over to them and gave them hugs. It was great to see them again, we'd spend most of the week with them. We always shared a room, us four, and stayed up until dawn just talking about anything and everything.

The trip went on as usual, everyone getting along, doing fun family activities. Basically, the women all cooked, drank wine, and talked about Spanish soap operas that they tried to keep up with. The men watched their sports and drank their Mexican alcohol. All of the boys played their video games, and the girls gossiped and talked; what we do best. It's just a lot of Spanish culture, drinking, laughing, an overall great time.

It was our last night and we were all lounging around, waiting for the New Year. I was playing cards with Jasmine and a few uncles and aunts.

"Santana, I hear swimming is going well. I really enjoyed telling everyone that my niece was swimming in the Olympic trials. How's high school swimming going? College?" my uncle Tony said in Spanish.

"Not too bad. I signed with BHU like a month ago."

Jasmine spoke up. "That's code for 'I've already made it to state in 6 events and some relays. And my high school team could possibly win state this year. And I'm going to smash state records.'"

"Whoaaa, we're going to have the next Missy Franklin, ehh?"

I laughed. "Not quite. She's a beast."

"You've met her right?" Jasmine asked.

I nod. "Yeah. We've trained together and I see her at meets during summer league. She's a great person."

They started talking about the Olympics and asked Jasmine about her life. Then the topic came back over to me.

My aunt Diana said, "Jasmine, that's wonderful that you and Trent are still together, you guys are a lovely couple. What about you and that Noel kid, Santana?"

"Oh, Puckerman? I mean Noah?"

"Oh, yes. I'm sorry." She laughed.

I felt a little uneasy. "We're not together anymore. We broke up around homecoming."

"I never would have thought that, Isabella showed me pictures of you and your sister at homecoming, you all looked so cute."

I felt Jasmine sympathetically tap her hand on my leg.

"Oh, well, we just had some differences in our relationship, we still talk." That was a lie.

"Is there someone new in the picture?" My family was always wanting the most up-to-date information.

I didn't know what to say. Part of me wanted to get it over with, come out right then and there. "Yeah, there is actually, her name is Brittany. I really like her and I want all of you to meet her sometime." But then I thought about my parents, I hadn't even told Jasmine and Monica yet, I probably wasn't, not there at least.

So I chickened out and played it safe. "No, not really, I've been on a few dates but I don't think they'll go anywhere. I'm really focused on school and swimming; it keeps me pretty busy anyway."

They finally dropped it and I went back to playing the Mexican card game "Conquian."

"Tell them," Ellie corners me in the huge pantry next to the tortillas.

"No, I can't, we're about to leave. They don't want that on their back, they won't see us again until May but that's graduation."

"They should know, they're like our best friends, even though their family."

"What if they tell?"

"They won't, trust me. They wouldn't do that and you know it."

"Ellie, I can't."

"Santana, if you can't come out to them, how are you going to tell mom and dad? Your friends? You have to start somewhere. You're not always going to get a positive reaction from everyone that you meet but you will from them, trust me."

"Fine. Will you be there with me?"

"Of course I will. Tell them by the end of this year."

I looked at my phone, it was 11 pm. "That's one hour!"

"We better find them then!"

Ellie opened the door and shooed me out of the pantry.

I saw them sitting around one of the TV's watching the boys take a break from _Halo_ to play _Mario Kart_.

"Oh my gosh, there you guys are. Watching these boys act like driving Yoshi around a track is a life or death situation is exhausting," Monica said.

I laughed, nervously. "We… I.. need to talk to you two…"

Jasmine was perplexed, "So you dated her while she was your student teacher?"

"Umm, yeah, I mean, not on purpose. Totally on accident."

Monica said, "What does she look like? Is she hot?"

"Of course I think so. She's freaking gorgeous." They both laughed. They were taking it really well. So much of a burden was lifted off my shoulders, Ellie was right, I should have believed her. I took out my phone and found a picture I took with her. "That's her."

Monica looked at the picture and said, "Damn, Santana. You went from a hot boyfriend to a hot girlfriend. You obviously know how to work it. She doesn't really look that much older and she already graduated college?"

I laughed. "She's only 21. She's a genius and she had like a million college credit and AP classes in high school that all transferred to she graduated a semester early and her birthday is in March, so she's young for her year."

Jasmine said, "Wow, she's just like you then, that whole motivated thing. She seems like a great girl. I'm guessing she's got a stunning personality as well?"

"Yes, she really does. I'd love for you guys to meet her sometime. Eventually. After I get this all figured out."

"When are you going to tell Jorge and Isabella?"

"When Ellie tells me to."

They both looked confused, Ellie laughed.

"Ellie's been like my lifeline in this whole thing. When Brittany and I were keeping it a secret, Ellie knew like the whole entire time. She gave me the courage to tell you two as well."

Jasmine mocked tearing up. "Aww, Ellie, you're such a great sister."

"Yeah, I know. Santana is totally lucky."

The four of us made it back out to the main area of the cabin in time for the countdown. The past year was behind me, it was a new year. I had never been one to make resolutions. I never really had to. However, I knew that I had one this year.

Not ever a minute after the countdown ended, Brittany sent a picture of her and a few of her friends at a party. The caption said _Here's to a great year. I wish I was there to kiss you! ;) Happy New Year! Any resolutions?_

Normally, I would be writing a novel back to Brittany but this time, I didn't need any more than five words,

_You're gorgeous._

_To come out._

* * *

**Happy Fourth of July here in the USA!**

**Thanks to the reviewer who caught that embarrassing mistake last chapter :O. And to think that I got an award for exceptional English student my senior year!**

**And thank you all for reading! This story isn't even close to being finished. I have so much planned! Please tell me what you think!**


	6. Chapter VI

**I hope this is a nice Monday pick-me-up! :)**

**Later on in this chapter, there's some swimming jargon and I know swimming isn't the most universally known sport so here's just a quick explanation. High school swimming is swam in a 25 yard pool, which is a little less than half of an Olympic sized pool (50 meters). So, a '100' is 4 lengths of the pool, a '100 breast' is a 100 yard breast stroke race, etc.** **'IM' is also mentioned, it stands for 'Individual Medley.' This is where all four strokes are swam in one race. The only IM in high school swimming, a 200 IM, is a 50 yard swim of each stroke. Writing the swimming parts is one of my absolute favorites and I hope you like this chapter!**

* * *

It was officially a new year, a fresh start as they say. I had so many plans this year; my mind was racing through the whole car ride home. I keep thinking about my life, how much I liked being with Brittany. I've only told three people, but it's been so smooth. Obviously, I know that it's not all going to be like that. I've seen that Kurt Hummel kid in my school struggle with bullies and I know the other stories. It's absolutely horrible. I was a strong person but I didn't know how strong I was. All I knew was that right now, Brittany is the only person that I can think about. I can honestly say that I'm falling in love. And I wanted the whole world to know.

The next day after we got back, while unpacking and doing laundry, I realized how excited I was for this date that she had planned out; except I didn't even know what we were doing. I texted Brittany _Outfit for the date?_ She texted back _Birthday suit! ;) Wear something nice but not too nice. Like nice jeans and a nice top or whatever. You'd look nice in anything. _She made me smile, every time. I drug out skinny jeans, boots, a blouse, and warm leather jacket with a scarf. I never picked out my outfits beforehand; I guess I just wanted it to be perfect. I smiled as I went to sleep in anticipation for the big date.

I woke up the next day around 6, although we didn't have team practice, I went ahead and went to the pool to do a modest 6000 yards. I got home and showered, Brittany wanted me over a 10, sharp. I got dressed, did my hair, and put on makeup. I sprayed myself with my favorite perfume, even though I could still smell the chlorine on my skin, it was worth a shot.

"Dang, you look cute. Do you know where you're going yet?" Ellie walked into my room while I was getting ready.

"Not yet, she just told me to look like… sorta nice."

"I hope you have fun, Santana. Be safe." Ellie winked very obviously.

"You think you're so funny."

She smirked. "When do you think you'll be home?"

"I'm not sure, I didn't ask her. Um, I'll text you?"

"That sounds fine. I love you, Santana. And remember, you'll be away. No one knows you there, well, except for maybe a swimmer but just be yourself."

I didn't really know what she meant. This whole situation made me feel like the little sister.

Ellie saw that I was not catching on and said, "You'll know, just remember what I said. Okay?"

I looked at the clock, I had to go. "I will. Thanks again, Ellie. I love you too."

I gave my sister a hug, grabbed my keys, and headed over to Brittany's place.

* * *

As usual, I walked to her apartment door. I took a deep breath and straightened my clothes before knocking on her door. Brittany opened the door in what seemed like forever. She was wearing jeans, a cute sweater, and a scarf. She immediately smiled and pulled me in. I barely had time to put her present and my purse down before she wrapped her arms around me, tightly. She pulled back, her hand cupped my cheek, and she kissed me. I felt her warm and soft lips around mine. Her tongue danced with mine as I put my arms on the small of her back.

"I've missed you so much, Britt!" I said, finally ending our amazing kiss and wrapping my arms around her for a giant hug.

"I haven't seen you in so long; I've been waiting so long to do that." Then she kissed me again and squeezed me hand.

She looked down at the present. "Santana, I told you not to."

I looked around. "Not to what?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're very sweet."

"Do you want to open it now? Or do we need to leave?"

"Yeah! It just so happens that I got you a Christmas present as well. I only told you to be here at 10 because I wanted to see you, we have a lunch reservation at 12:30 though."

"Oh, reservation? Faaaaan-cy!"

"You know me, I'm Miss. Fancypants!"

She went back to her room and came back with a bag. I took my time taking out all of the tissue paper, just to aggravate her.

She looked at me and blinked. "Saving the paper?"

"Yes, I'm kind of frugal."

There were several things inside. I didn't know where to start. Inside, there was new pair of goggles (I had been complaining about mine fogging up lately), a beautiful scarf, and a mix tape that she promised as 'the best ever.'

There was one more item in the bag and it was a small, square mirror. I looked at her, quizzically.

"Take it out."

I did and there was a note taped to it. It said "I just want you to be able to see the beauty that I get the pleasure to see every day."

I reread it at least twice before I almost felt a tear form in my eye.

"Brittany. Thank you so much. You're… Amazing," I said with a smile and gave her my present.

She opened it, I had gotten her two BHU Swim and Dive t-shirts, a journal since she told me she was close to filling her last one up, and a certificate for a massage.

"A massage? Santana, I… You're so sweet."

"You've had an exhausting year and these people are so great. I get them for swimming sometimes and I just feel great afterwards."

"Thank you," she smiled and kissed me.

This was a great Christmas with Brittany, even though it was late. It was well worth the wait and we still had the whole day in front of us! We grabbed our purses and coats and left her apartment. She opened the passenger door of her bug for me and I got in. I loved her car; it smelled nice, clean, like Brittany. She pulled out her phone one last time and looked at directions and then we were off.

The drive was a very pleasant experience. She let me hold her hand in my lap or in the middle console. We talked the whole way, of course, never having an unintentional awkward moment. The radio lightly buzzed under our voices. One song started playing and we both stopped talking and listen.

At the same time, we both said, "I love this song."

It was _Kiss Me Slowly_ by Parachute.

Brittany started singing, her beautiful voice. _"Hold my breath as you moving in. Taste your lips and feel your skin. When the time comes, baby, don't run, just kiss me slowly."_

"Come on Santana, sing!" She urged.

I laughed and started to sing along.

"You have a great voice," Brittany said as the sun faded away. "I really don't think I'll ever find something that Santana Lopez isn't good at."

I chuckled. "You have a great voice too, Britt." I paused for a second. "Can that be our song?"

She laughed because she knew I was being cheesy on purpose. "I haven't had a song with someone since I was in middle school but yes, it can be."

We finally got to Columbus and we pulled into the restaurant that she had a reservation at for lunch. It was a fancy Italian place; much better than Breadstix. As we walked towards the entrance, she grabbed by hand and I felt her fingers fill the empty spaces in between mine. I suddenly knew what Ellie meant by "no one knows you, be yourself." I didn't let her go.

The hostess greeted us with a wide smile and asked if we had a reservation.

"Yes. Pierce for two."

"Okay, right this way."

We were seated and ordered drinks and received our menus. We had a lovely lunch, despite my massive appetite from my swim this morning.

"This is embarrassing," I said, finishing the last bite of my pasta.

"Oh my gosh, it is so embarrassing! We should just leave now before we both embarrass ourselves more!"

I laughed and grabbed her hand that was resting on the table; I held it across the table. Brittany smiled. I looked around and saw families, business people, and other couples. Some were stuck in their own world, their own conversations. One woman in particular saw my gesture and gave us a dirty look. I tensed slightly. Brittany noticed.

"Hey, calm down, sweet heart. Her opinion of you doesn't change who you are. Why would you care what a close minded bigot thinks of you? She doesn't even know you."

I relaxed, she was right. I held on tighter. This was my first real experience as an "out" person. My first experience of distaste, even though it was just slightly. I was determined to eradicate the whole experience from my memory. I didn't need it.

The check came and I grabbed my wallet from my purse. Before I could do anything, Brittany took the check and put down her card.

I frowned. "At least let me get the tip."

"Nooo, it's my date and it's my treat."

"Brittany…"

"Will it make you happy?"

"The happiest girl around!"

"Fine."

We left the restaurant as we came in, hand in hand. We drove and walked around town some; Brittany said we had time to kill before a "special performance." We sat on a bench in the park and people watched, making up fake conversations for the people we saw. The weather was perfect. Although it was quite cold, the sun was shining bright, and just a small bit of snow covered the ground. The way the sun reflected off Brittany's eyes was literally mesmerizing. After people watching, we went into a few little shops downtown. We played hide and go seek in a Staples and walked down to an antique store with her arm lightly around my waist. I loved that feeling. The date was so much fun. It was so different from the predictable dates to Breadstix from Puck. Her date was literally perfect; carefree and easy. I literally could not stop smiling the whole time.

"So, what is the special performance?" I asked her when getting into the car.

"Well, I wanted to take you to a musical because you know, you love that stuff but there wasn't one at this time. So I got us tickets to the next best thing?"

"A football game?" I eagerly asked.

She laughed, probably too much for my lame joke. "Yes. No. Actually, it's a matinee of a ballet; _The Nutcracker_. I remember you telling me about how you loved the ballet when you were a dancer during your younger years."

I was actually really excited; I hadn't seen _The Nutcracker_ in a very long time.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so excited!"

We watched the ballet, it was astounding. It was actually one of the best performances that I'd ever seen. It also helped that I held Britt's hand in my lap. It just felt right. We left the performing arts center giggling and giddy like two middle schoolers before leaving back to Lima.

When we arrived back at her apartment, it was only 8. I texted Ellie _The date was absolutely perfect._ We were pooped by the time that we got in. It was such a lovely, beautiful day. She opened the door to her apartment for me and let me inside.

"Do you need to be home?"

"No." I said, smiling.

"Stay. Let's watch a movie. I have popcorn."

"Popcorn? How could I turn that down?"

"Do you want to change? Like into something more comfortable?"

"If you don't mind…"

"Not at all."

We went to her room. Her room was a perfect mixture of Brittany. Like her apartment; it had never super cluttered or messy. The messiest I had seen her room was when we tore it apart looking for Lord Tubbington's favorite cat toy that ended up being in his litter box in the other room.

The whole room was warm; a very soft, pale yellow color graced the walls while the deep red curtains contrasted perfectly. On the walls, there were a couple pieces of art and pictures. Her bed was never made but the way the black and white sheets, pillows, and blankets formed around the particular spot where she slept made it so cozy. Three pictures were hung above her head board; one black and white picture of a contemporary dance move on each side and then one of a ballet dancer's feet en pointe in the middle. There was a small lamp on the black night stand next to her bed that only had an alarm clock, allergy pills that she usually forgot to take, and some pocket change on it. Clothes were scattered on the floor outside of the entrance of her closet and her dresser on one wall. It was never too many clothes, her room was still tidy. A cat bed was perched in the corner right next to a small bookshelf containing only Brittany's absolute favorite literature; all the rest of her books were found in another bookshelf in her guest room/office. At the opposite end of her bed, there was a black vanity where she kept all of her makeup and jewelry.

She opened her closet and offered me shorts, a t shirt, and hoodie. We both changed, neither of us went to the bathroom, I couldn't help but look at her as she changed. Her body was great, abs toned perfectly and I could see her ribs ever-so-slightly poking out of her sides. She saw me staring, but I also caught her staring at me as well. I pulled her hoodie and shirt over my body. It smelled so good, just like Brittany. After we changed, Brittany went into the kitchen and started popping some popcorn and I started the movie. She came back with a giant bowl and some drinks for us. I sat down cross legged on the couch and grabbed a blanket. Brittany sat next to me and maneuvered herself underneath the blanket. She placed her arm through mine and leaned her head against my shoulder. I kissed her forehead. At the end of the movie, Brittany's head was in my lap and I was stroking her hair. The credits started to roll and Brittany got up to turn it off. It was a little before midnight

"It's really late. Stay here tonight, Santana," she said, sitting back down.

I didn't say anything, I wasn't sure. I had stayed the night with Puck a million times before. Brittany wasn't Puck though. She was Brittany, this was different.

Since I didn't respond immediately, she started singing, "_Stay with me. Baby, stay with me. Tonight, don't leave me alone."_ It was "our song."

"Well, since you asked me in song form, how can I say no? I just need to call Ellie."

She smiled as I got up to get my phone.

"Hi sister!" Ellie was wide awake, I wondered where she was.

"Hey, where are you?"

"At home, with a few friends."

"Are mom and dad home?"

"Yes. The boys are about to leave. They wondered where you were, I covered for you, told them you were with Rachel Berry, working on a project."

"Rachel?" I scoffed. "Oh, that's believable. But thanks, can you do me another favor?"

"Yes?"

"Tell them I'm staying the night with her since it's late and we just finished the project.."

"I KNEW YOU WOULD BE DOING THIS!"

Brittany laughed because she could hear Ellie through the phone, even though I was several feet away.

"I sure hope you're not around all of your friends."

"I'm not; I went into the other room. But I will. I see that your date went well! When you come back, you tell me everything, okay?"

"Yeah, deal. Thanks, Ellie. Love you!"

"Love you."

I hung up and threw my phone back down by my purse.

"She's a great sister, huh?"

"Yeah, she really is. We used to fight all the time when we were younger but now she's my best friend. I guess we just grew out of it." I walked over to her and spread my legs apart, sitting down on her lap, facing her. "But I don't want to talk about Ellie right now. Actually…" I placed my hand on her cheek and kissed her. "I don't want to talk about anything right now."

I leaned back down and kissed her with even more passion, running a hand through her hair. She deepened the kiss and I felt her hands grasping my back, pulling me closer into her. After a few minutes, I felt her gently bite my bottom lip and say, "Let's go to my room."

We kissed, wrapped up in each other's arms, while we walked through the apartment turning out the lights. When we got back to her room, she pulled the hoodie off me and threw it on the floor. She did the same with hers and placed me on the bed, in her arms. I leaned my whole body into her and held onto her waist. I felt her hands travel on my back and one hand make its way to my chest to cup one of my breast in her soft hands.

"Do you want to feel them for real this time?" I daringly asked, even surprised by my own words.

A wide grin surfaced across her face as she pulled my shirt over my head. We had fooled around so many times and yeah, we had both felt each other's boobs but, surprisingly, it never went past tank tops or t-shirts. She flipped me under her, pulled her own shirt off and kissed my collar bone, flirting with my bra strap. She smiled and I felt her lips on my neck. I placed one of my hands on her breast. I squeezed it and I suddenly knew why guys were so obsessed with them. Brittany's were soft, supple, and just wonderful. Before we knew it, both our bras were off and I was gently kissing and playing with her boobs as she hovered over me.

Suddenly, she leaned down and I felt one of her legs in between mine and her hand placed on the hem of my shorts.

"Do you…?" She asked gently, gazing at me with her mesmerizing blue eyes.

The whole room was at a virtual stand-still. "Britt, I-I can't. I'm not…" I trailed off.

"You don't have to explain. I understand."

"I'm sorry."

"Baby, you have nothing to be sorry about."

She kissed me lightly on the cheek and laid down next to me and faced me. I felt her pull a sheet over us. All I could do was stare at her, I still could not believe how fast I was falling for her.

She placed a strand of my hair behind my ear and said, "You are so beautiful."

"No, you are."

"Today was one of the best days that I've ever had. I felt like pinching myself like it was a dream and then I realize that I cannot dream something as good as this reality, the reality of being here with you; of being your girlfriend."

I smiled. "When I'm with you, Brittany, I don't think about anything else. I don't have to worry because I know that with you, I'm truly happy. You make me have a feeling that I've never had before, I can't even explain it."

"Come here." She motioned for me to come closer.

I snuggled into her as she wrapped her legs through mine and held onto my hand in between our bodies. She kissed my hand very gently. She felt so warm and it was such an intimate moment. It wasn't about sex, or lust, it was just about emotions and feelings; these deep feelings for each other.

"Tell me about your first time, Britt." Brittany knew that I had sex with Puck and a few other guys but I had never asked her about if she had.

"My first time…" When she spoke, I could feel her breath and lips, so close to my neck. "It was probably a lot like yours; just some guy in high school. He meant something to me at the time but that's all."

"So you've had sex with girls?"

"Oh yeah…" She said with a hint of humor. "Um, my first time with a girl wasn't with anyone who I was even in a relationship with. It was in high school. It actually happened at a party. Her name was Molly. We were really good friends, we were in Glee club and danced together and hung out a lot. I had just gotten over a breakup with a guy and was struggling with my sexuality. Molly and I were both kind of tipsy and it just… happened. And then it continued to happen throughout the rest of high school, basically friends with benefits in a weird way. Well, when neither of us was dating someone. We were only friends; I was never really romantically interested in her, just attracted to her and it never amounted to a relationship. We still talk all the time and we're great friends."

"So, you guys hooked up a lot?"

"Eh, it definitely wasn't… not a lot. We were just really great friends and it was pleasant to have a warm body without having to worry about a relationship because we both never developed feelings."

"What's it like? With a girl?"

"It's different. I've not been with that many girls but I think it's so much more about feelings than with a guy, just because girls are over all more emotional that guys. It's not as stressful either because girls are so much more understanding. However, it can still have the same emotional baggage, at least, from experiences that I've had."

"Who were the others?"

"Just like a couple people here and there. Like, they all meant a lot to me at the time. Except for Molly, I don't just throw sex around or anything. Uh, My last serious girlfriend, her name was Lindsay, well her name is Lindsay. She was…something else. She was a year ahead of me and she had a full scholarship to Lima for tennis. She is a phenomenal tennis player, last year, which was her senior year; she went to the championships in singles for the third time and lost in the semifinals."

"Are you just attracted to athletes?" I asked

"I must be," she grinned and continued, "We met through mutual friends and connected since I knew a lot about tennis because of Matt and all. Then we just hit it off. Lindsay… she was so gorgeous and so charming, I was definitely very much in love with her. So I let her push me into having sex pretty early in our relationship. I wasn't ready. But back then, I wanted to do anything for her. As the time I spent with her progressed, I let her push me around and our relationship ended horribly. She was so experienced and.. you could say our relationship was kind of toxic and she messed me up for awhile. It just, I don't regret it. I try not to regret things because I know it's exactly what I wanted at the time but if I could go back, I would have changed what I did; starting with never getting involved with her."

"Britt, I'm so sorry." Brittany is my girlfriend, she's my girl. Even though she is older than me, I felt protective of her because she's so cute and so innocent. I know she can take care of herself but knowing that someone could do that to someone like her hurts me.

"No, I mean, that was years ago. I don't really think about it anymore because it makes me sad. She's irrelevant to my life. I've moved on." She shrugged. "And hey, since we are talking about this, I want you to know that I'm never, ever going to push you into something you're not ready for, especially this. That's why I told you that it's not a big deal; that you didn't need to be sorry. Obviously, it's something that we both take pretty seriously."

I kissed her forehead.

"I know. Thank you."

She turned around and pressed her backside against me. I wrapped my arms around her and rested a hand on her hip. I woke up and looked around. I looked at the clock; it was 3:46 AM. We had moved around and Brittany was curled up, sleeping and facing me. I slowly climbed out of her bed. I was cold so I found the hoodie that I was wearing earlier and put it on. I climbed back in bed, careful not to wake Brittany. Then I felt her hand intertwine with mine as the other put her blankets on top of me. I fell back to sleep quickly, once again, feeling so safe with her next to me.

I awoke a few hours later with Brittany's head on my stomach and my arm around her. I inhaled, groaned, and rubbed my eyes. I looked down and gazed at Brittany, she was even so beautiful while sleeping, so peaceful. A few moments later, she woke up and rustled around. She looked up and saw me.

"Are you staring at me?"

"Yes, you look so pretty when you sleep."

She rearranged herself and slid up next to me. "Are you cold?" She pinched the sleeve of the hoodie.

"I got cold throughout the night so I woke up and put it on. And it smells like you, it's great."

"You can keep it. Just so you never forget about me."

I smiled. "Well, if it stops smelling like you, I'm going to give it back to you to sleep with for a few nights so it will smell like you again."

She laughed. "Alright, deal. Are you hungry?"

"Ehh, kinda."

We got up and she made me an omelet and we talked before I took off back home to get ready for practice. She needed to get ready for work as well.

As soon as I walked in the door, Ellie greeted me.

"SANTANA SANTANA. Tell me everything. Well, not everything because that might be gross. Just tell me everything."

"Shut up! Nothing like that happened. I mean… no, nothing happened. We went on a really great date, she took me to an Italian place and then to a ballet performance. Then we went to her house and we watched a movie and then just fell asleep. Oh, and she made me breakfast."

"So you slept together but didn't sleep together?"

I nodded. "Basically." Ellie narrowed her eyes at me. I smirked and went off to the pool with an extra skip in my step.

* * *

Walking into school on the first day back from break seemed almost surreal. This was my last semester as a high schooler. We all traded holiday stories, talked about all the places that we went too, and how excited we were for graduation. All of my friends were getting a serious case of senioritis, I have to admit, I think I was starting to catch the bug too. But I couldn't. I was going to be valedictorian, there was no way I was letting my grades slide.

In English, we started the second semester curriculum: literature. Mrs. Hansen was informing us on all the books we would read this semester, starting with _The Great Gatsby_. Fortunately, I had already read that, it would be pretty easy. _The Great Gatsby_ was easily one of my favorite books.

Mrs. Hansen was passing out the copies to everyone. Colby leaned over and whispered, "Man, I wish that Miss. Pierce was still student teaching. I'm so bored. I wonder how she's doing."

Irony at its best. "Oh, I actually saw her over break at the grocery store before we left for vacation. We had a little chat. I think she's doing well. She's looking for teaching positions around Ohio for the fall. She's pretty cool."

"Yeah, I always thought she was pretty cool."

I just nodded. I realized that sometime I would have to tell Colby the truth. Now really wasn't the time yet. I still haven't completely warmed up to the idea of telling everyone that I'm dating the former student teacher. I knew it would start with her though.

Later on that week, on Saturday, I had a swim meet. Of course I remembered to take the penguin, I never, ever forget my little Tux! It was a small invitational here at McKinley. I had two more events I had to qualify for state in; the 500 free and the 100 breast and that's what I'd swim today. I would be able to easily get the state mark on both of these events at this meet. Then I'd finally focus on my 200 free and 100 back.

Quinn had a different strategy. She didn't want to take a straight shoot at her state events. In one of the most surprising turns of the season, she failed to qualify in the 50 free when she swam it in the last meet. I guessed that she would probably build back her ego by swimming the back or breast again and the 200 IM before attempting the 50 free.

After school, I quickly went to my car to grab my crap and then headed to the pool. Even with Quinn and I's newfound common ground, we still never failed to find things to fight about.

"Tighten the freaking lane lines, Santana," she said, handing me the wrench that I had just put away.

"I just tightened them."

"Doesn't look like it…"

"Well if they're not up to your standards, do it yourself next time, Captain."

"Whatever, I hope you kick ass today. Even though I'll kick more ass, I always do."

It was the closest thing to a compliment that I ever got from her, I'll take it.

"Yeah, good luck Quinn."

She scoffed. "Luck is for losers."

I participated in the first relay and rested until the 500 free. As far as high school swimming events go, the 500 free is the longest and, arguably, the hardest event. For the elite swimmers, it was 4 and a half to 5 minutes of flat out sprinting and all you wanted to do was give your lungs a break. For less experienced swimmers, it was 7 or 9 minutes of hell, just trying to finish the race. It's a long enough race that requires another person on the other end of the pool to count the laps so the swimmer knows which lap they're on. I didn't hate it though, I really didn't mind distance freestyle and thought about branching out when I got to college. I finished the event with a time that would have easily landed me a spot in the finals of the 500 at state and jumped out of the water with a huge smile.

When I got back to our team section on the pool deck, I grabbed my towel took a little break to prepare myself for the next race. I sat down and grabbed my phone from on top of my jacket. I checked my messages and saw that Brittany had texted me a few times. But my phone said that they were already read. I hadn't read them, I was racing. I sat around contemplating what could have happened while texting Brittany back and plugging in my earbuds to my phone. I watched as the events went by. I was right and Quinn did swim the 100 back again. She was gloating; her time was faster than my last back time. I didn't let it get to me. I could maybe get my seed faster in another meet. Either way, we were still some of the fastest backstrokers in the country.

My heat for the 100 breast was coming up. I put my phone back into the pocket of my jacket on the bench and walked toward the blocks with my goggles and cap in my hands. I walked passed Quinn.

"I saw that time," I said. "Nice job."

She smiled and said, "Good job on the 500, Santana! Under five minutes, that's pretty great, I think _Brittany_ would be really proud of you too."

I felt my heart beat start racing and blood rush to my cheeks.

"What?!"

"Oh, it's almost your heat for the breast," she said, emphasizing the word 'breast.' Good luck!"

A smirk surfaced on her face. I stormed past her pushing my shoulder against hers.

I was angry. So many thoughts were racing through my head. I needed to push them away, at least for now. I needed to focus on this race, to put all of my anger into the water. Breast stroke can look so calm on the surface without much splash. However one look at the swimmers face tells it all. I stepped behind the blocks and looked towards my parents who definitely noticed my change in visage. They gave me a questioning look and pointed to the pool, I inferred that they were telling me to knock it off. I saw Quinn at the side of the pool, her cap and goggles dangling from the strap of her suit, arms cross, watching me. I pushed it all aside, stepped up, dove in, and raced.

Breast stroke is not my stroke at all, I was fair at it but it was never my favorite. I especially hated it because Quinn was so great at it. With breast stroke, I always seemed to be moving despite how much I was trying to swim. I watched in my peripheral vision as the swimmers beside me slowly faded away. I didn't even think about going faster, I knew I easily had the time. I knew I was going to make history the moment I came up after the dive. I smashed my hand into the touch pad and checked the time on the wall. It blasted my personal breast stroke time and easily qualified for state. I got out of the pool and Coach Roz greeted me.

"SALSA CALIENTE! Where did that breast stroke come from?! Maybe you should rethink that whole backstroke thing and swim breast at state!"

I stifled a laugh and mumbled a reply. I was done for the night, luckily. I briskly walked myself over to our team's section. There were several girls hanging around so I grabbed my towel and sat close to Quinn, who had retreated back to her spot.

"Whoa, Santana! I don't really like you that much. And you're all wet."

"Shut up," I said, my face super close to hers so no one could hear. "What the hell did you do?"

"Well, you were swimming the 500 and I was watching the race because I always watch you but I heard your phone vibrate. I ignored it and then it happened again. I guess curiosity got the best of me. Maybe you should rethink that whole I-don't-have-a-password-on-my-phone-thing."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You looked through my freaking messages?!"

"No. Well just your conversation with _Brittany Pierce. _Wait, I seem to remember our English student teacher had a similar name. There was always something about you, Santana. You were always lurking around in the locker rooms, always watching the girls events but not usually the boys."

"Fuck you Quinn."

She chuckled. "You wish. But don't worry, Santana. Your secret is safe with me. We're teammates. If visiting all these college teams last fall has taught me anything, it's that the bond between teammates is what really makes or breaks the team. And we have this bond here at McKinley! I'm not telling anyone."

"I have a hard time believing that."

"I'm not going to tell anyone, Santana. Seriously. And look, it helped you in the long run; you absolutely killed that breast stroke. …Oh wait! Maybe it wasn't because you were angry with me, maybe it's because breast stroke is your new favorite stroke!"

If I wasn't so furious, I actually would have laughed at that joke. Instead, I was on the verge of tears.

"Quinn, seriously. It's not funny. This is my life; I'm confused about everything right now." I took a deep breath. "Look, you're the last person I want to confide in. Just please don't tell anyone."

"I won't, Santana. But you better watch yourself. And I'm not telling anyone but I won't let you forget that I know." Quinn got up and motioned for me to put her cap on.

I put her cap on perfectly. "Fine, whatever."

I watched her relay swim and waited for the meet to end so I could cool down. I straightened out after cool down, got dressed, and went over to where my family was. They were getting ready to leave but I knew they would wait for me. I gave my mom and dad a kiss and thanked them for coming.

"You know we love watching you swim, Mija," my dad said.

"You looked really angry before the breast though. I mean, it obviously worked but are you alright, sweetie?" My mom was always so nice.

"Yeah, just some Quinn stuff."

"I thought you guys were starting to get along, we saw you talking to her just a few minutes ago."

"Well yeah, she pissed me off before the swim. I guess it worked out, that was my fastest breast ever." They continued to look at me so I went on, "I was just talking to her, we were kind of working things out."

"Well, if you need us to talk to Coach Roz or anything."

"Thanks, mom. But it's alright, I promise."

My dad asked, "Are you coming straight home after the meet or going out with the girls or something?"

"Uhmm, I might go eat with a few of the girls and maybe go out if that's alright." I may have been lying because I really just wanted to see Brittany.

"Okay, well, be careful and don't be out too late." It was a Saturday night so they assumed I'd go out afterwards.

I barely laughed. "I won't. Te quiero!"

Brittany had a dance rehearsal at her studio until later on that night, so I really did go out to eat with a few teammates.

When we were waiting for our food, Chloe asked, "Santana, what's wrong? You did so amazing today! You seem really sad."

"Oh, what? No. I'm just really tired. I guess it was from that breast stroke!"

I tried to play it off but they could see right through it.

"Santana, seriously. I've seen you tired and you're still hilarious. You haven't insulted someone once this whole time," Leah said.

I could come clean now. Get everything off my chest. Tell these girls everything. They were my teammates. They'd understand. Then I rethink. They're my teammates that are one the swim team. Swimmers are half naked all the time. They're not going to take that very well. Locker room changing is going to turn really awkward. It wasn't a good time. Especially now, not to them at least, maybe I could wait until the end of the season. After though, there was no more putting it off. I had to do it. I had to tell everyone.

"Nahh, it's nothing. I just had a fight with Quinn, that's all."

"You guys always have fights," Paige points out.

"No, this time she really pissed me off. She just… talked about Puck and was being all gross and then called me a bitch for no reason. It was just a bunch of things put together and I finally just lost it. I think maybe Snix came out there for a little bit. But after breast, we talked about it, I'm still pissed. But, it'll be alright, it always does."

"Well, we're here for you."

"I know. You guys are the best."

For the rest of the dinner, I tried my hardest to keep to my regular self. I texted Brittany that I needed to see her and she said she to go over to her place and wait for her and apologized if it was a mess. There was a party that night that the other girls were going to. I politely declined and made up some excuse so I wouldn't have to go. We said goodbye and parted ways. I got to the complex and found her spare key; it was in the fake plant on the floor below her, she was pretty sneaky.

I went into her apartment with my backpack slung over my back like I had done a million times before and was greeted by Lord Tubbington. He tried to eat my leg so I fed him and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. I opened up my backpack and started to work on homework. I tried to push all my thoughts aside and just wait for Brittany to come. It worked pretty well. I finished up my homework and laid down with a blanket. Lord Tubbington jumped on me and we curled up and went to sleep.

I heard jingling outside of the door but I couldn't open my eyes. I heard her walk in, she smelled like winter.

"It's the greatest thing in the world to walk in to your apartment and see a gorgeous girl peacefully sleeping on the couch. Oh and I'm glad Lord Tubbington found his place," Brittany said, throwing off her coat.

I forced my eyes open, seeing her made me glad that I did.

"He loves me. You look stunning."

"I'm in yoga pants and a sweater with a kitten on it and I probably smell like little kids."

"I'm sorry, I lost you at 'I'm in yoga pants.' I'm so glad you're here, despite your sweater."

"Then I guess I'll just have to take it off," she smirked and took off her kitten sweater to reveal a small tank top.

She came over to the couch and I sat up. I took a deep breath and told her everything. I started tearing up because I was so scared. I buried my head into her chest. She wrapped her arms around me and let me cry.

"It's going to be okay. I know that's not what you want to hear. Here me out, what's the worst that will happen? She outs you. Right? If she does, that's one thing that you won't have to worry about."

I knew she was trying to make me happy. "But I want it to be on my terms. This is a big thing for me. What about you? What if she tells that it's you? They know you, too."

"Really, I could care less about what a bunch of high school students think of me. I only care about the opinion of two of them."

"Who's the other?"

"Ellie." She smiled.

"The teachers…"

"Ehh, teachers won't really think about it, I think that they'll think it's just a rumor. They don't really pay attention to high school stuff, unless they're Schuster or that cheer coach. Trust me, they talk more about TV sitcoms than anything else, including students. Besides, at McKinley they think I'm some kind of genius."

I felt a little better. "I mean, I really don't think Quinn will tell anyone. She's a jerk but she has some morals. She'll hold it against me though."

"Blow her off, act like it doesn't bother you. She'll eventually give it up. It won't be fun for her. You know how it is, if you don't react, she'll stop caring."

I kissed Brittany. She always knew what to say. She ran her fingers through my hair and started to kiss my neck. I immediately forgot what I was even upset about. When I'm with her, it feels like nothing is wrong.

"You taste like chlorine."

I blushed. "Thanks for the newsflash."

"I'm just saying."

I wrapped my arms around her and put my head on her shoulder. "How's the job hunt?"

"It's going…" This was somewhat of a sore subject for us. She knew that I would be in Hamilton but we didn't know what the future held for us. We hadn't been dating for that long and we hadn't told each other that we loved each other yet. Shoot, I hadn't even come out to my parents. It just sucked that we had to make such huge life decisions not knowing the future of our relationship or really anything.

"Where is it taking you?" I ask instead.

"A few places. Some schools in Canton, Cincinnati, Columbus, and… Hamilton."

"Really?!" I ask.

She nods. "I snagged an interview at Hamilton High. I don't know when it will be though. We'll have to see."

The topic was dismissed and we moved on. It really was hard to talk about it. It was just to uncertain; to make such a big decision on something that may on our relationship was a risky kind of move. I knew how I felt about her, I knew how she felt about me, it's just a big commitment.

* * *

The next few weeks passed by, just the same, more or less. Word spread quickly that I had made state times in every event, I had made school history! People were congratulating me left and right, it was so great and such an honor. Although I couldn't enjoy it as much as I wanted to. Quinn loved to walk right next to me while we were all changing from morning practice and whisper in my ear "Hey, how does my butt look?" or "Now I know why you chose swimming" and many more. At first I let it get to me and got all worked up over it but then I remembered what Brittany told me. I learned to ignore her. And she kept her word, she didn't tell anyone. Honestly, she just liked knowing that she had something against me.

I decided that I was going to come out to my parents before state swimming. I was going to tell them because they can't be ashamed of me. I had finished qualifying for all the swimming events. I broke almost all of McKinley High swimming records in the process and I was in a really good position to win multiple state championships. I could be a four time all American swimmer at the end of this season, easily. I was still tied for number one academically and now I was just against one other student, and I was being handed scholarships right and left. How mad good they really get?

One day after Ellie and I got home from practice, I told her my plan.

"I think that I should tell them like… tonight. State is in less than three weeks. I only have sectionals and districts left."

"Have you thought about this, Santana? How are you going to tell them?"

"I'm just going to lay it all out there. All or nothing right? I might as well tell them everything so I don't have to keep telling them."

"You're doing it tonight? It's a Tuesday, they'll be home late."

"I'll stay up, I can get ahead in homework and I don't have morning practice."

"Have you told Brittany that you're going to?"

"Yeah. She said that she's proud of me. And she also said that I shouldn't expect the worse.. or the best. And she said that if things go completely wrong that I could drive over and stay with her."

"I like your girlfriend and all but you're staying here if I have any say in it. Do you want me to be there with you?"

"No, I mean. Not tonight, it's something I need to do alone. But will you stay up long enough for me to talk to you?"

She chuckled. "No guarantees, knowing our parents, they could be home past midnight but you can wake me up for sure."

"Thanks."

We made dinner and then retreated to the living room to do some homework together. I was able to finish a lot of homework before Ellie left to shower and get ready for bed. I changed into a tank top and pajama pants and went back to the living room. I called Brittany and was able to have a brief conversation with her before I had to hang up because I was so nervous. She wished me the best of luck and told me that if I still wasn't ready, there was no rush. I told her that I was ready, this was it. Then I waited, I did more homework, watched TV, and rationalized my thoughts. My mom walked in at about 11:00. I heard her put her keys on the kitchen counter and pour herself something to drink. She walked into the living room.

"Santana! What are you still doing down here?! Didn't you have two practices today?!"

"I'm not that tired, I was doing homework." I look behind her. "Where's dad? I need to talk to you guys."

"He's just finishing up. He had some last minute paperwork. He'll be home in about 15 minutes. What do you need to talk to us about?"

"It can just wait until he comes home."

I started talking to my mom about new academic scholarships that I was applying for that would literally put money in my pocket for this next year. Buttering her up was the best to get her in a good mood. We heard my dad walk in.

"Santana, honey, what are you still doing up? It's a half hour till midnight!"

"Jorge sit," my mom said. "Santana has something to tell us."

* * *

**Thanks so much for reading! The next chapter is a big one for Santana and her familia! **

**Annndd, we got a little hot there for awhile didn't we? What do you think? Too hot?! ;)**


	7. Chapter VII

My dad took off his coat, set it down, and sat in the chair next to the couch. I said a little prayer while I watched him. I was so scared. I wanted to back out. I couldn't do this. Not like this. It was late, they were tired, I was tired. No. I had to. There would never be a perfect time, I've realized this. I could make an excuse for every single time so I didn't have to tell them. I had to do this.

"What's up?" He asked with a little smile.

I took a deep breath. My eyes darted in from my mother to my father. The pleasant expressions on their face turned into expressions of anticipation as I prolonged what I had to say. "Okay. I'm going to say a lot of things. Can you two just promise you'll listen to it all without interrupting until I'm finished?"

They both looked quizzically at me and nodded.

I took another deep breath. "I am, uh, I'm dating someone. Well, I have been dating someone. This person make me so happy, I feel complete when I'm with them. This person likes me for who I am. I can be myself when I'm with them. I know you both want what's best for me and right now, this person is what is best for me. But this person doesn't go to McKinley." I looked at them, they were following but they seemed confused. "I'm dating a woman. Her name is Brittany. She's 21 and she just graduated in December from LU." It was out there, there was no taking it back anymore. I needed to keep going, to keep explaining it. I kept looking between the two of them but I couldn't read their faces.

"I know this seems crazy. And I know the first thing that you want to do it blame her. She's not the reason. My whole life, I've known that there was something about girls that I liked. I never embraced it because it wasn't normal; or at least what everyone says is normal. I wasn't going to let this small thing ruin everything that I had going for me. So I pushed it to the back of my mind. Don't get me wrong, I did like Puck but looking back on it, he was part of the plan that helped me realize this. I finally can realize that I am gay, a lesbian; that I like girls the way society thinks I should like boys. This is my own personal journey and I've been struggling with how I should tell you and it still hasn't come out as how I wanted it to but this is how it is. This is who I am. I'm still Santana Lopez. I'm the same daughter you've raised for 18 years. This is just a part of me, it's not something that can be changed and it's something that you need to know."

I was done. This was all. I briefly closed my eyes and felt a tear fall down. I looked towards my mom. She looked like she was going to cry. My dad kept his arms across his chest. I couldn't read him and I wasn't sure what he was thinking. No one said anything.

My mom finally broke the silence. "H-how long?"

This would be the hard part; I think I'll just keep Brittany's teaching logistics to myself for now. "I've been dating her for a little over four months. But my sexuality is something that I've been trying to hide from myself for years, Ma. This isn't just something I came about four months ago."

"Ay! You've been lying to us for four months?" My dad asked, crossly. I could see that he was hurt and angry.

"Not lying. Hiding. This is why I wanted to tell you. I didn't want to hide who I really was. I wanted to you guys to know myself and who've I've been able to come to terms with." I could barely stand looking at the shock on their faces. All I wanted to do was run away. I wanted to escape from this room, curl up, and stop the world from crashing down.

"You are confirmed in the Catholic church, Santana. Have you heard of the Bible and what it says about people like that?" My dad said it as more of a statement than a question.

"Yes, I know the verse, "If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman..." But did you know, that in the same book, Leviticus, it says; don't cut your hair, people with flat noses cannot go to an altar of God, and that mixed fabrics shall not be worn. I'm pretty sure that you're wearing a cotton/polyester shirt."

I heard a small gasp from my mom and my dad's face tightened. I was getting more angry than upset now. I felt tears stinging my eyes as I tried to fight them back.

"I know what the church says about this. But I also know what the Church says about God. I love God more than anything in the whole world. I've never stopped praying throughout this whole time, me trying to find myself. I know that the church teaches that this is against the rules, what I'm doing, how I feel, how I am. However, the God that I know would never, ever condemn someone for pursuing and acting on their own feelings. He made me this way. I know that He would so much rather I be happy and feel this way than to be sad and lie to everyone about who I really am."

After several excruciating second, my mom finally spoke up. She said, "Go to bed, Santana. I think your father and I need to talk about this."

I didn't want them to talk about it alone. They were going to have questions. They needed to ask me. If they discussed this themselves, they would infer things, jump to conclusions. But I had to let them do what they needed to do; I had to just let them talk.

"Te quiero so much," I told them and walked out of the room so quickly so I didn't have to wonder if they were going to say it back or not. Tears were streaming down my face as soon as I reached the first step.

I retreated back to my room. It didn't go any better or worse than I had planned. I knew that it was going to be hard but I just didn't know that I would feel this rotten. I didn't want to talk to Ellie or Brittany or anyone but my parents. I wanted them to want to talk to me about this. I brushed my teeth and felt the tears fall down my cheeks as I fell asleep.

The next morning when I woke up after hearing my stupid alarm go off, I felt like crap. I threw on a pair of sweatpants and an old swimming hoodie lying on the floor and put my hair in a messy bun. I didn't even bother with makeup; luckily my face didn't look like how I felt on the inside. I trudged downstairs to find the kitchen empty. After a few moments of literally doing nothing, I heard Ellie's footsteps down the stairs. She came over and put a hand on my shoulder. I was snapped out of my trance-like state.

"How'd it go?" She asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. It got really heated when they mentioned God and told me to go to bed, like a fucking child, they told me to go to bed. They said they needed time to talk about it alone."

She consoled me with her eyes. We both heard my parents coming down the stairs as we were grabbing fruit for breakfast. They came in, said a short "Good morning," and danced around me without making eye contact. It was so awkward and I could feel the tension in the room. I tried to catch one of their eyes but to no avail, they were set on ignoring me.

As we all sat or stood around the counter that doubled as a bar in silence, I finally had enough. "Are any of you two going to say anything?" I probably said it more firmly than I had expected.

I saw my dad's eyebrows knit together, my mom looked his way.

"I have to get to the hospital, there's a big surgery today that a resident is primarily performing. Isabella, do you want to come with me or drive out a little later?"

"There's always a big surgery!" I snap. "When are we going to talk about this again?"

"Santana, watch your tone. This isn't the time," my mother warned. "Jorge, I'll ride in with you."

"There's never going to be a good enough time to talk about this because you don't want to talk about it. You don't want understand what I'm trying to say."

"Not in front of Eliana, Santana." My dad was getting irritated. I never spoke to my parents this way.

"Oh, like Ellie doesn't know! She knew even before I told her because she actually pays attention to my life. Maybe you guys would have gotten the hint if you were ever home or if you ever cared. Oh and she's fine with it! She accepts me for who I am." I calmed down just slightly. "It just hurts me so much that you two won't even talk about it."

I could not believe what I was saying to my parents. Tears streamed down my eyes as I grabbed my keys, backpack, and swim bag and left the house. I pulled into the school parking lot just moments later. I had twenty minutes before the bell rang because I left so early in my rage. I sat in my car and checked my phone. Brittany had texted me a few times. I didn't ever text her last night. I felt bad, she was caring so much. I called her.

"Hello?" I heard a sleepy voice on the other end.

"Hi, I'm sorry," I said trying to mask my tears. "Did I wake you up?"

"No, no. I mean, yes but I don't mind waking up to your voice. But you're crying." Of course she saw through it. "What happened?"

I told her everything; including this morning's incident.

"I just feel so bad. I'm not supposed to talk to them like that. They've given me everything I could want and I talked to them like a disrespectful little brat."

"Don't beat yourself up over it. It happens. It's just going to take time. This isn't just going to be hard on you; it'll be hard on them as well. I'm not trying to make you feel bad but if you put yourself in their position, maybe you can see why they're being so awkward and timid."

I had never really thought about it. Coming out to them was the hardest thing to me but now they have to come out to themselves, in a way. This coming out thing wasn't all about me, it's about everyone, it affects everyone.

I looked over and saw Ellie walking towards the passenger door.

"Hey, babe. Thanks for everything. You never fail to make me feel better. Ellie's outside of my car, I need to talk to her."

"I totally understand. It's no problem. I hope your day goes better. I'm here if you need anything."

"I know. Thank you. Sorry for waking you again."

"It's fine, I have to work soon anyway. Call me after you get out of practice tonight."

"I will. Bye, Britt."

"Bye, gorgeous."

I smiled for the first time in what seems like a long time and unlocked the car. Ellie got in, threw her keys on my dash, and sat down in the passenger seat. She exhaled and shut her eyes for a few seconds.

"Do I even want to know?" I ask.

"Probably not."

"Okay, just tell me."

"After you walked out, mom got all emotional. She felt like she was losing you as a daughter because of this. I told both of them to chill because it's not even been 12 freaking hours. Dad said he didn't want you to be ostracized and made fun of and that maybe this was just a phase. Mom told him that it wasn't. She said 'Santana's not one to just go through a phase. She's a perfectionist. Perfectionists wouldn't want to go through a phase that can cause their whole life to be turned upside-down.' Dad just grumbled. And he told me that he wanted you home after you got off work, not 'With that girl.'"

"What the hell? It's not like they'll even be home."

"Santana, just come home, do what they say for now."

"I know I will. Whatever. Let's go, the bell's going to ring."

The whole day I felt like a zombie. It was a horrible feeling because I knew there was nothing I could do about it. My teachers, friends, Coach Roz; they all saw the change in me. I told everyone that I was fine and that I didn't know what they were talking about. They would know eventually, everyone would. I don't know if I'm prepared for that. I can't even take the stigma that my parents are giving me, how could I ever take the stigma of a whole community? Brittany said that the hardest ones to tell are the parents, then it became so much easier; I just hoped she was right.

After practice I went to get dinner home from one of Ellie's favorite Chinese take-out places. As I was waiting in the restaurant for the food, burying myself in my own sorrows, a familiar face walked in towards me and gave me a hug. There was barely anyone in the place, it wasn't a big deal.

"I figured you'd be here."

"Ha, how?"

"Your last text said that you were picking up Chinese for Ellie. And I knew that this was Ellie's favorite one time when you told me as we passed by. And it's owned by Tina Cohen-Chang's family and you're close with her"

"You really do listen to everything I say, don't you?"

"Yes, every little thing, even when you ramble on and on and on."

I rolled my eyes. "Did you get food?"

"Yeah, I didn't want to cook or eat ramen and I needed an excuse to see you because you have to go home, right?"

"Unfortunately," I said flatly.

Brittany changed the subject. "You know, this isn't authentic Chinese food.."

"Yeah, it's the fatty Americanized crap but it's so good. Have you had real authentic Chinese food?"

"Yes, actually. One of my best friends in high school, Bethany, is Chinese and her family owns a restaurant that makes authentic food, it's actually tastier and not all deep fried."

"You'll have to take me there someday."

"Or we could go the restaurant and go to China to eat real Chinese food there."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"LOPEZ!" A small Chinese woman called from the register.

I walked up and paid for the food. I maneuvered the paper sack into the crook of my arm and walked back over to Brittany.

"I guess I better leave, wouldn't want my omnipresent parents to be wondering where I am even though they wouldn't even know."

Brittany sensed my hostility and said, "And Ellie is probably hungry. Can I call you tonight?"

"If I don't call you first. Enjoy the food." I leaned in for a hug and gently, so it wouldn't be noticed, planted a small kiss on her cheek.

I saw her smiling as I walked out of the restaurant.

Later that night, after I had a much needed phone call with Brittany, I heard my parents walk in. I contemplated for at least 5 minutes before biting the bullet and going down there. I shuffled down stairs and to the kitchen where they were preparing some kind of dinner.

"Hello, Santana." My dad said when he saw me.

"Hi, how was work?"

"It was fine," he said.

My mom nodded in agreement.

"That's good."

For at least a half a minute, all I did was look at both of them; I wanted them to say something.

"Look, Santana," my mom started to say. "I know you're thinking about the elephant in the room. Your father and I have talked about it and we just want you to know that we accept your choice."

_Accept?_

"What do you mean?"

"We realize that this is your own life and your own choice," my dad said.

"Choice? It's not a choice, this real life; my life. This is how I am. I never chose to feel this way."

"I didn't mean it that way, honey. This is hard for all of us. It will take awhile for us to become used to this."

I didn't know what else to say. There wasn't really anything else to say. They made their decision. In time, they would either learn to love me for whom I really am or they would choose to exclude this part of me from their lives. If the latter was their choice, then I didn't want to be around for it. I didn't want to leave the room with a sour taste in my mouth so I mumbled something about swimming and we talked a few minutes about it and then I retired for the night.

* * *

I decided to put my parents on the backburner while I focused more on swimming. They were trying. I knew it was really hard for them to understand. We were just getting out of a very easy practice the day before districts. Quinn caught up with me as we were walking to our cars.

"Hey, Santana! Wait up! I need to talk to you!" She called after me.

I stopped and turned around. "What do you want Quinn?"

She caught up with me. "Look Santana, I know that I've done some bad stuff to you; the jokes, the fights, Puck, everything. But I'm so happy for you, making state times in all the events for all four years, it's outstanding. And I really am proud of you."

"Well thanks. I mean you only have the 50 free left and you're swimming that tomorrow. Frankly, I don't know why you missed your mark the first time. You've easily swam a state qualifying time in 200 free relay every time. Maybe it was just a fluke. And you still have sectionals if all else fails. You'll get it tomorrow, I'm positive."

"I can't believe that I have been such a complete bitch to you but you're still trying to support me. But, uh, that's why I wanted to talk to you. I want you to swim it with me tomorrow at districts."

"Why? We both hate swimming in the same heat. It's districts, you'll be up against fast people; they'll be able to push you just as well as I can."

"No, they won't. Santana, I need you to swim against me. No one can ever push me as hard as you can. I know you want to be working on back and 200 free for state but I'm just begging you. Please. I want to make history with you."

I felt something inside me, I felt so sorry for Quinn. I knew that she could make it, she's done it three times before and she's already made the time this season. I also knew that this wasn't any type of manipulation or anything, she was being completely genuine.

I exhaled into the crisp January air and watched my breath linger in the air. "Okay, I'll do it. But only on one condition."

She smiled so wide, I thought her face would fall apart. "Yeah, anything!"

"My sexuality, stop it with the jokes and puns. Let me take this one step at a time. On my own terms."

She put her bag down and licked her lips. "Look, Santana. You're perfect. You have the perfect house, the perfect body, the perfect face, the perfect family, the perfect grades, everything. Your whole life, it's just perfect. Honestly, I was always jealous of you. Then, after all these years, we were on the precipice of actually becoming friends and we started getting along. I was happy about it but there was still something inside of me that was still jealous. When I was watching your race and heard your phone there getting texts, I wanted to know. Then when I saw that it was… her. Well, I felt like finally your life wasn't so perfect. You had a huge secret and I could use it against you. I was never going to but I just wanted to have something on you. That's all."

This was so different, seeing this side of Quinn. The real side. She was actually sharing her feelings with me.

"I told them, you know."

She raised an eyebrow.

"My parents. About a week ago, I just told them."

"How'd it go?"

"They're still uncomfortable around me. They refuse to talk about it and always find something else to talk about."

"Give them time… they'll come around."

"Yeah because I'm sure you know so well," I snapped back.

Quinn inhaled sharply at my tone.

"I'm sorry," I retracted.

"No, you're right. I don't know. But you're going to need to trust me. You're the strongest person I know. The last thing you need to do is push this under the rug and act like this never happened. They're going to reach a point where they are comfortable enough to discuss it with you. No matter what they may be, it's what you need."

I nodded. "Thanks Quinn, that's exactly what I do need to do." I stood in thought for a second. "Why exactly did you put me through this?"

"Let's just say I felt like if there wasn't anything on you, you would have never come out. You would have found an excuse to keep putting it off. Everyone needs a little push."

"So, in a way, you were helping me?"

"Kind of. But I still liked knowing that I knew a secret about you. Because I'm a bitch." She smirked.

"You're not. A bitch would have told everyone in a heartbeat. I guess now I see that you were actually helping me, deep down in your twisted mind."

"I know you probably don't trust me or anything but I've seen this happen, I know what it's like so if you ever need to talk… don't hesitate."

For the first time in my whole life, I willingly opened up my arms and gave Quinn a hug. A friendly one too, not forced at all. We've hugged before at swimming things, to look good but I've never been so inclined as to hug her except for now.

"Thanks. It means a lot, it really does."

We parted ways and I sat in my car, hanging around until I saw Coach Roz walk out into the parking lot. I caught up with her by her car.

"Hey Coach, is too late to change my events for districts tomorrow?"

"I'm Roz Washington, I can make anything happen. What's up Santana?"

"I was wondering if you could take me out of the 200 free and put me in the 50 free. But keep me in the back."

"Shouldn't you be practicing your events for state? And you ain't no sprinter! You be good but I know you would rather swim a longer distance."

"Um, I'm just really burned out on the 200 free; I want to change it up. I'll swim my regular events at sectionals."

"Salsa, don't try to lie to me! You better give me the real reason straight up."

I sighed. She always saw right through me. "Quinn has the 50 free left to qualify for. This is basically her last chance because she needs to swim back and breast at sectionals. She can't push herself enough unleash she's racing against me."

"Santana, for four freaking years, I've watched you two interact. You girls fightin' about everything and anything. But then, this year, I see you two trying to work out your fights as captains. You have some kinda bond that is unexplainable, no matter what you might think. Most people would think you cray-cray to want to see her succeed after all she's done to you but I see it. I see why you want to help her. It's that bond. I know it is. You know, you teammates and that's different than friends. You loyal to her and she loyal to you, no matter what you think. I'll switch you, Salsa. I'll kick Emily out of the 50, we all know she be needed some extra yards."

I laughed. "Yeah, just maybe. But I guess that spending all these years with Quinn as my competitor has made me appreciate all of her hard work. Seeing someone this close to their goal and not reaching it, it would kill me if I didn't do everything I could to help them."

"You're going to go far in life, Santana. Maybe even as far as me and my bronze damn Olympic medal." She held up her medal. "You've got a great heart and a great mind. It's admirable; I wish everyone on the swim team and that damn synchronized swimming team had your attitude."

"Coach, I need to tell you something."

She set her binders on the roof of her car and leaned against it. "There's more child?!"

"I-I'm gay. I mean, pretty much, yeah. Oh my gosh, this is harder than I thought."

She continued to look at me. She blinked once. Coach Roz was different, she isn't like anyone else. No matter how crazy she is, I always looked up to her. She was a great coach in anything. And above all, she's a pretty great person. She doesn't let anyone fuck with her.

"I've realized that it's something that I've known for a really long time. I dated Puck boys because that's who I was supposed to date, you know? And then I fell for a girl, well, a woman. She's amazing and she makes me so happy. I never thought in a million years that this would happen, but it's helped me come to terms with my sexuality and who I am as a person. I wanted to tell you because you mean a lot to me and I've always looked up to you. You've been one of the most influential people in my life."

"Have I told you the story about how I got this bronze damn Olympic medal?"

"I probably hear it at least twice a week," I said with a smirk. "But go ahead; it's like a new story every time I hear it."

"When I was growing up, they said that black folks couldn't swim. But I had a DREAM that one day I would get to the promise land. Now, here I am with this bronze damn Olympic medal from Bejing, China. But see Santana, we're one in the same! They say that girls can't be with girls and boys can't be with boys. But you gonna be the one to change their minds. You gonna be the one to break the mold. Ya hear?"

I grin widely. "Yes. I hear."

"I am so elated that you could confide in me. Who else have you told?"

"My sister knows, she's so great about it. And she adores Brittany, my girlfriend. I told my parents like a week ago and they just… they're not too fond of it yet. They keep telling me that they need time to soak it in but I know they just don't want to talk about it."

"You know, I be talkin' to you parents more than you think and I know them pretty well. I think they'll come around eventually. It may not seem like it now, but you just wait, child."

"You really think so?"

"Yes, I really do."

"Hey, look, I'm sorry for keeping you after practice; I know you want to get home to your family."

"Don't sweat it, Salsa. My swimmers are my family. Anytime you need to talk, you know where to find me. I'll make sure to change the events; you get a good night's sleep for tomorrow."

"Will do Coach!"

I felt so great. Telling Coach Roz was just another person who I could cross of my list. She's one of the few people whose opinion I cherish the most. Coming out was always on my mind but with each person who I told, it got easier. I knew that they weren't all going to be this simple, not everyone was going to understand but if they don't, I don't have anything else to prove to them. They're not worth it.

* * *

Before I knew it, Quinn and I were stretching out our muscles behind the blocks, she thanked me again for swimming against her. When the heat before us finished, she touched the top of my swim cap and said, "Let's get 'em!" I was feeling great. Our lanes were right next to each other; like usual, we were the top seeds.

I swam the 50 free like I did when I qualified a few weeks ago. I pushed myself hard, trying to peek a look to make sure that Quinn was right beside me but it's so short that I didn't really have time to look at her. On the last 5 yards of the race, I eased up and let Quinn go for it. She won the event, with myself closely behind her. Suffice it to say, she qualified for state in the 50 free with the best time she's swam since junior year. Quinn finished! She was done. We made history as two swimmers from McKinley to qualify for state in every event all 4 years!

We both got out of the water, out of breath from the race, and hugged. This hug was definitely a real hug, like the one in the parking lot.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she said through short breaths.

"Hey, I wasn't the one moving your arms and legs, you were."

She smiled and hugged me again.

* * *

It was about 11 on a Saturday night, one week before state, which was the second Friday and Saturday in February, I was just getting home from a night out with a few friends after McKinley crushed it at sectionals. This whole week was all about prepping for state. The majority of the team had qualified for state and we had also had a couple divers going to state. The relays were absolutely amazing. The team was easily the best that McKinley has ever seen. Our team had worked so hard, we all do, all the time and we had our eyes on being a top 5 team. Even if we didn't win, I could not think of anything else that we could have done differently.

I changed into some comfortable sweatpants and was going to lounge around for awhile until Brittany called, she was at a party with some of her college friends. I was able to sit down and finally catch up on the new novel that Mrs. Hansen assigned, _Dracula_. After about 30 minutes of reading, I got a call from Brittany; maybe the party had ended a lot sooner than I thought.

"Hey, is this Santana?" The voice on the other end was unrecognizable.

"Um, yes. Who's this?"

"I'm Shae, one of Brittany's friends. Brittany is, uh, really drunk right now and she really wants to talk to you."

"I don't really want to talk to her if she's drunk." I knew Brittany drank at parties, she told me about it. She's just so innocent that it's weird to think of her having any more than a glass or two of wine in her.

"Look, I've been around Brittany all through college and she told me that she got drunk all the time in high school but she doesn't get drunk often. I can count on four fingers how many times she's been drunk since I've known her in college. She just lost control tonight. She keeps asking for you. You two are still dating, right?"

I laughed inaudibly. "Yes."

"She likes you a whole lot. I can tell. But I think you should come down here and drive her back to her apartment. I would myself but she'll just get mad. She won't want to go unless she sees you. She keeps saying something about how you're always swimming?"

I have been swimming a lot lately and when I wasn't, Brittany always seemed to be working. Our schedules were always conflicting and we weren't able to hang out that much.

"Alright. Where are you?"

She gave me directions to the frat house that the party was at. Before I left, I told her my mom that I was staying at Colby's for the night. When I finally found a place to park, I walked in and it just looked like parties I had been to just with more people. It wasn't how I pictured a college party to look like but I suppose it made sense that it wasn't too different.

"Whoaaa, caliente! I haven't seen you around here before. What's your name?" Some creepy drunk guy yelled to me over the music as I started to walk around.

"Never going to happen!" I said, rolling my eyes.

I kept searching for Brittany. I went into every room, even venturing upstairs, and I still couldn't track her down. I was out of place in my sweatpants and swimming jacket but I was still regarded as a regular partygoer. I almost gave up on finding her before I felt a tap on my shoulder, I thought it was another creepy guy but it was a pretty girl with straight brunette hair.

She asked, "Santana?"

"Yes," I said, happy to know someone here. "You must be Shae? I've heard a lot about you."

"Yes! It's nice to meet the infamous Santana! You're definitely as pretty as Brittany says you are."

I bashfully laughed and followed her to the room Brittany was in. It was quieter in this one but I still felt the beat of the music from the main room. There were several other people in there. I finally saw Brittany, she still looked just as gorgeous as ever but she was really hyper and bouncing off the walls. She only had on a tank top and a pair of leggings. She saw that I had walked in and came running over. She started to kiss me and the guys in the room whistled, not exactly how I wanted her friends to meet me. I pushed her away and grabbed her shoulders to steady her.

"We should probably go back to your apartment."

"I just got here 3 hours ago!"

"Apparently it was 2 and a half more hours than you should have been here," I said under my breath.

"What?!" She didn't catch it; I was talking to low and too soft.

"Nothing, let's just go."

"Okay." She turned around and ambled over to say goodbye to everyone.

I turned to Shae and asked if she had taken her car here, she hadn't.

30 minutes later, we finally left. She clung to my arm as we walked back out to my car. Her sense of balance was completely shot along with any resemblance of the Brittany that I knew. I put her into my car and we headed over to her apartment. I reached into her purse, found her keys, and let ourselves in.

"Finally, we're alone!" She slurred. "It's been so long, Santana. And you're sooo pretty tonight."

She ran her hands down my arms and started to kiss me. I could still taste the alcohol on her breath. I pulled away for the second time tonight and led her to her room. I was getting angry at this point. I looked through her closet and threw some clothes at her and told her to change and brush her teeth.

"I know, Santana. You're not my mom!"

She came out of the bathroom a few minutes later and jumped on her bed. She patted the side next to me and wanted me to lay down next to her. She went pee which helped but she was still drunk. At least she could walk fine. She leaned over and kissed me roughly on the mouth. I weakly kissed her back as she shifted herself over my body. Her hands were roaming around my body. She felt up my shirt and grabbed my boob. I stopped her and she protested.

"Santana, we've been together for almost five months and I know we both like each other so much. Let's just have sex right now."

"No. You're fucking drunk and that's not how I'm going to experience my first time with you. I know that you won't remember much in the morning and if we did that and you didn't remember what it was like, it would break my heart. Just get some sleep and we'll talk about it in the morning."

"No, I want to right now. You're hot."

"I don't want to, Brittany."

"Why not?!" She yelled.

"I already told you, you're drunk and it's not going to be fun for either of us. Besides, I have a lot going on right now."

"A lot going on?! Like what?" She asked rhetorically. "It must really suck to be so smart! It must really suck to be one of the best swimmers in the country! And you don't even have to make time for me! God, your life must be sooo hard!"

"You don't even know how hard everything is for me! It's not like I just sit around and it happens. I am trying so hard for everything. I'm under so much pressure right now and I really do miss you!" I screamed back at her.

She yelled back and we fought and screamed at each other for several more minutes before I finally had it.

"Look, I'm not going to fight with you anymore. Go to sleep," I said, closing the door to her room. I heard her yell something back but I couldn't tell what she said.

I grabbed blankets from the hall closet and slept on the couch. I woke up around 9 the next morning. I knew I had to be at church in a couple hours or I would be in deep trouble. I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth with the toothbrush that I kept at her house.

After finishing up in the bathroom, I went to the kitchen. I started some coffee. When it was done, I fixed a cup just like she likes it; two spoonfuls of sugar and a bunch of creamer. I also poured a glass of water and found a few Tylenol and went to her room, she was just waking up. I gave her the Tylenol and water and then the coffee.

She tasted the coffee and barely smiled. "I am literally the worst girlfriend ever. And you're the best girlfriend ever. Why?"

I shrugged.

"Are you mad at me, Santana?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I am."

"Then why are you being so great?"

"Because I care about you so, so much. You really screwed with me last night with our fight. Obviously from last night, I know you don't think so but I really do have a lot going on right now. I would just expect you to not put even more pressure on me."

"I'm so sorry, Santana. When I went to the party, I wasn't planning on drinking any but I missed you so much. You've been so busy. Ever since you came out to your parents, I've only seen you three times and once was at the Chinese restaurant."

"So you got drunk? If you wanted to so badly, why haven't you talked to me about this? About all this? About sex?"

I had to get it out there. I didn't have the time of the patience to beat around the bush

Brittany rubbed the sides of her head and ruffled her eyebrows. "What exactly did I say? I don't remember the whole conversation just that I tried to take all your clothes off and then we started yelling."

"You don't even remember what happened, what you said?" I asked, feeling anger wash over me. "I can't deal with this right now. I have to leave, I have church. And I have the biggest moment of my year in less than five days. I need to prepare. Call me when you figure it out. Bye."

I got up from her bed and walked out if the room.

"Santana! Wait!"

I ignored her and closed the door to her apartment. Maybe I was overreacting but I didn't care. I got in my car and drove around. I didn't want to go home and face my parents. There was extra tension in the house whenever I did anything, whenever I went anywhere. Even though I said that I was going to Colby's, I'm certain they knew the truth, they had to. I drove all over, screaming to the radio blasting overplayed pop songs.

I couldn't think clearly with the zillions of thoughts running through my head. I didn't know what I wanted, I didn't know what she wanted, I certainly didn't know what my parents wanted. For one of the first times of my life, I had no plan. I had no idea what I should do to make things better. I was scared. But I couldn't be. This will all pass right? It had to. No, it has to.

* * *

**Ouch.. :/**

**Thanks for reading!...And catching my mistakes ;)**


	8. Chapter VIII

Eventually, I drove back to the house. I parked, walked in, put my coat on a rack, and threw my keys on the kitchen counter in a bit of a fury. My mom was sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal and jumped just slightly.

I sighed. "Sorry. Where's dad and Ellie?"

"They're getting ready for church."

"Okay. I better go then," I said, stepping in the direction of the stairs.

My mom stopped me with a question. "Did you have a fun night at Colby's?"

I stopped in my tracks and walked back to the table. I sat down caddy corner from her at the table and looked her straight in the eye. "I wasn't at Colby's and we both know that. Why can't we just talk about this?"

She pushed her bowl in front of her, leaving a few pieces in untouched. "You were at... her house?" We'd danced around this topic for so many weeks that I barely noticed when she said that with a different connotation than usual. The apprehensiveness in her voice that she usually used was replaced by a more confident, albeit not her usually verbose articulation, tone that had a hint toleration.

"She has a name, Ma. It's Brittany. And yes, I was at her apartment."

"I never liked when you did that with Puck and I don't like that you do that with her."

"Really!?" I questioned. "Because you never talked to me once about me staying with Puck. Does it just make you more uncomfortable that she's a woman? Is that it?"

"Santana…" She warned.

"Well, it shouldn't. And just in case you were wondering, we didn't even sleep in the same room last night. I slept on her couch. And we haven't slept together either." I was telling the truth, we didn't sleep in the same room, at least not last night.

She looked surprised. "Really?"

"Really. And Ma, I know it's really hard for you to come to terms with all of this. I want you to be able to talk to me about this. To ask me your questions. This is all new.. to both of us. It would really mean the world to me if you would back me up and be behind me on this."

My mom looks at me for a long time before speaking. "Santana, I love you, your father loves you. Ellie and you are our world. We've worked so hard to create a life for you two where you wouldn't have to go through the struggles that both dad and I went through. And it was working out, we had this great family, it was almost picture perfect, wouldn't you say?"

"Well, I don't know about that..." I mutter.

"Nonetheless, when you came out to us, we realized that it's not going to be perfect anymore. You're going to have to go through hardships. They're not going to be the same as me or dad's, they might be even tougher. It's just that we didn't want you to have to go through something like that, that's why we've done everything that we have done.

But we know that you are strong. You're the strongest young adult in Ohio. And we're strong. The Lopez's have a name in this community and we're going to be scrutinized, all these close-minded people in the community. When everyone finds out that we have a daughter who is lesbian, it would change how 'The Lopez's" would be perceived. We'd have to come out too, if that makes sense. And it's hard and different from everything we've ever known and it just seems so hard. But, your Papi and I are ready for it. We can do it.

If Brittany makes you happy and if you're happy, we're happy. Whoever thinks that you liking girls could ruin our family isn't worth our time; their opinion doesn't matter to us. The only opinion that matters to me right now is your opinion of me and I really hope that it's changed. I know I have."

While my mom continued to talk, all I could do was soak in every word that she had to say. Tears filled my eyes. My mom got it. It's still not going to be all roses and daisies from here but we're finally on the same page. My mom finally "got" it. She understood now. A huge feeling of relief washed over me. I hear rustling from behind me and I looked over my shoulder and saw my dad standing there. All he did was nod his head. He heard it all. And he was smiling. I let a small tear fall from my eye out of sheer happiness.

My mom wiped the tear from my cheek with her thumb. "Alright, sweetie, you need to get cleaned up for church."

"Okay, Ma." I smiled and kissed her on the cheek and smiled to my dad as I walked past.

* * *

Later on that night after I finished my homework, I did the only thing that I knew to do; I went for a swim. Yeah, I had practice the next day and this was one of my only days off in a long time but I needed it. I needed something to ground me while I thought about everything. I had calmed down substantially from this morning with Brittany and I was able to better process everything that transpired between us. My head felt clearer from my talk with my mom but my heart felt heavier with every moment that passed by without talking to Brittany about our fight.

Lap after lap after lap, I kept replaying the events in my head. This wasn't the small little arguments and disputes that we had gotten into before that involved trivial things like Lord Tubbington's daring escapades or why breakfast is eaten at night and in the morning; this was a real argument with feelings and so many emotions. I knew I was harsh on her this morning and Brittany wasn't the only one who was at fault here. This whole fight, her whole outburst, it was because of my actions. Brittany has literally done so much for me, more than I'll ever be able to thank her for, and all I've done was yell at her for trying to show me how much she likes me. That makes me the idiot. I'm the one who should be apologizing. She was drunk but it's not like I've ever scorned anyone, including myself, for drinking. It happens and it's not a big deal. Brittany had a right to want to be with me no matter what my feelings were. I should be flattered, right? I haven't given her nearly enough of my time, certainly not what she deserved.

I flipped over and started a backstroke set. My thoughts shifted with the change in my body position. Brittany knew that I didn't want to have sex with her, at least not now. She knew that I'd thrown in around casually in the past and I wanted this to be special for us. No matter how drunk that she was, she still should have respected me. It was selfish to think about this but I cared about her so much and all I wanted was it to mean more to me. I wanted it to be more than an emotionless action like it had been for so long. I wanted it to be romantic, special, and a memory that I would cherish forever.

* * *

Still in a daze from all the thought-processing, I went home and showered. I didn't know what to think anymore, what I should do to make things right. I was torn. I turned on my laptop and started proofing a rough draft of a report. My eyes ran over the words but failed to actually read what they said. I couldn't focus. I was constantly fiddling with my phone; contemplating texting or calling her and wondering if she was doing the same.

Ellie burst into my room with a carton of ice cream and two spoons. She plopped on my bed and pushed my laptop aside while wedging the ice cream carton between us. She handed me a spoon and started to dig in.

"What happened?" She asked with a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

"What?" I feigned cluelessness while dipping my spoon into the carton and taking a bite.

"Don't act like I don't know," she said. "I texted her."

"Wait, Brittany?"

"I knew it." She smirked.

"Shit." I scowled. I used to be the sneaky one, I guess she learns from the best.

"Really Santana? I noticed it like the first minute that I saw you. What happened?"

"You know what, El? I've thought so much about it, I really don't know what happened anymore."

"Try," she insisted.

I recounted the events from last night and this morning the best that I could.

"And you're mad at her?" She asked rhetorically. "If I was her, I'd be a little mad at you as well. You kind of jumped the gun."

I frowned. "I know. I was thinking about it this whole day. I'm such an asshole. She didn't deserve any of it and I don't deserve her."

"Okay, let's stop turning into the a _My Chemical Romance _song. You don't have to go that far. It's understandable and I can see both sides of this. Did you say anything to her yet?"

"No. I don't know what to do." I gnawed on the metal spoon, frustrated.

She shrugged. "You'll figure it out. You always do."

* * *

Much to Ellie's encouraging words, I didn't figure it out. For three days, I didn't talk to her, she didn't talk to me. Although it was only three days, it felt like forever. I had never cared so deeply and so much about someone in my whole life. Even during the busy times, we talked at least once a day. I had never missed and yearned for someone so much being apart from someone. I couldn't count the number of times that I pulled out my phone to call her but I chickened out every time, not knowing what I could say to possibly make anything better.

Everyone at school noticed my change in disposition and they tried to inquire about it, I dismissed all of their concerns. I told them that I was fine and that nothing was wrong. I told them it was nerves for state coming up. This whole week wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be about relaxation. Tomorrow night, Thursday night, we'd drive to Canton because warm ups for prelims were at a ripe 9 AM on Friday morning. We were tapering at practice this week and Coach Roz's taper is always the best. I was supposed to be feeling super great and energized for the next few days. And I would be if I didn't have such a heavy heart weighing on me. I had just showered from practice and I was about to find something for dinner when Ellie approached me.

"Hey." She pointed to my sweatpants and tank top. "Put on some clothes, we're going out for dinner."

"Why?" I'm not a superstitious person but when it came to large swim meets, I had a three day long pre-meet diet planned mapped out to the single calorie.

"Santana, I promise that it will be healthy and it won't interfere with your weird diet ritual. I promise that you'll be able to eat something there."

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere that has really good food." I opened my mouth and she read my mind. "Not Breadstix, you've been there like times this week already."

"Ellie, I have homework that I gots to do."

"Yeah, homework that's due next week. I know you're caught up. Just come on, I'm driving."

I reluctantly trudged upstairs and changed into jeans, boots, and a jacket. I let my damp hair down to dry into its natural wave. We left and Ellie drove, mostly in silence. I messed around on my phone, still typing out messages to Brittany that I never ended up sending. I soon realized that we were driving out of town.

"What the hell Ellie?"

"We're going to that little place a little bit out of town. The place you went to before winter formal last year."

I remembered that place, it was a small, quaint place and the food was really good. It was pricey but they had a bunch of options and their service was impeccable.

"What's the occasion?"

"Just wanted to treat my sister before her big meet!"

I was skeptical. Ellie was more the type to stay home and make dinner for me rather than taking me out. I wasn't complaining though, I was hungry and she was right, I'd definitely find something that lived up to my diet plan. When we arrived, there were only a few people there. The inside of the place is more like a house than a restaurant and it's so cozy. The host led is to our table and Ellie, surprisingly, pulled out my chair for me. I sat down and looked down at the table in front of me. Lying on the table in front of me was a white violet and a sealed note with 'Santana' written on it, I easily recognized the handwriting. I picked it up and opened it.

_Santana—_

_Apologies are never easy, especially when someone like me screws up with someone as amazing as you. You are the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time. I never would have hurt you on purpose. If I knew that my actions that night would have caused this, I would have never gone to the party, never would have had a sip of alcohol._

_These past few days, not being able to talk to you, to see you, they've been horrible. I feel like I'm a zombie running through the motions of my life. The only thing I think about is you. I think about you, Santana, and how sorry I am._

_Did you know that white violets can mean, "let's take a chance on happiness?" So what do you say? Forgive me? Take another chance on happiness? Perhaps both?_

_Yours,_

_Brittany_

The whole time I read it, I thought 'I don't deserve her. She's the most perfect girlfriend. Better than anyone I could ever even dream of.' I smiled nonetheless and when I looked up, I saw her standing across from me at the table. She looked gorgeous, wearing an adorable little beret and a light blue sweater that flowed off one shoulder just slightly. She had deep sincerity in her eyes, keeping them locked on mine with the hint of a smile on her mouth. I walked the few feet towards her. I leaned up and wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her in for a hug. I buried my face into her shoulder, holding back tears, and held her there for a few moments. We both pulled away but held each other in our arms. I smiled and stared into her eyes for a few seconds.

"Britt. This—You're too sweet. This is the best apology I have ever received. Of course I will take a chance on happiness with you. But, I, uh… I'm the one who should be sorry and I really am so, so sorry."

She cocked her head at me. "No, I'm the one who screwed up. You had a right to be mad at me."

Before I responded to her, I looked behind me. Ellie was standing there with a little smirk on her face, fiddling with her keys. "Hold on," I told Brittany, giving her a little squeeze, and motioned Ellie over here. Ellie walked over.

"Did you set this up?" I asked her, trying to hide a smile.

"It was all Brittany's idea, I just drove you." She shrugged. "But, it looks like you two have a few things to talk about so I better take off. Santana, be home by 10:30, you have a big day tomorrow."

"Okay, mom." I chuckled lightly.

"Thank you, Ellie." Brittany gave her a hug. "I'll make sure she's home by then."

Ellie exited the restaurant and Brittany and I sat back down for dinner.

After getting drinks and a few moments of browsing the menu, the waiter came to take our order.

"So what were you saying?" She asks, stirring a pack of sugar into her tea.

"I—realized that I shouldn't have been so brash with you. I literally have thought about nothing else but us. And I feel so bad. I've drank until I felt like I was on the moon and all my friends do it and I'm fine with it but when you do, I shame you. You're not even underage. It's your right to have some fun and loosen up."

"It's not a one-way street, Santana. I got a little too loose. I tried to have sex with you even when you told me no," she said bodly.

I licked my lips. "Yeah. It's not like you were going to. I stopped you."

"But that doesn't make it right," she volleyed.

"Yeah, but…" I trailed off with a shrug. I figured that if we were fighting over who was the bigger asshole, we were getting further than we were an hour ago, not speaking to each other.

"I admit, I do want to have sex with you," she said brazenly. "Honestly, who wouldn't? You are just so beautiful. But I don't want to until you're ready and if you don't think you are, we don't have to. I've been pushed into sex before, especially with Lindsay. In the back of my mind, I always thought that that was the breaking point of our whole relationship. It was too early and things went downhill so quickly after that. Now, I know you're not her, you're not anything like her, but I don't want that to happen to us. I like you so much, Santana. And the thought of not being with you makes me sick. I want it to be the perfect moment for both of us and until that moment comes, I'm fine with where we are."

I watch her speak with undivided attention. Everything in the surroundings was irrelevant. The things she saying, I literally could not ask for anything better from her, the perfect words flowing from her mouth. I stalled, not knowing what to say.

"Santana?" She asked.

"I really am the luckiest girl in the world. Thank you, Britt. You are the most amazing person I have ever met and I really cannot believe that I have someone as great as you."

"And if things get too hot for you, just say so and we can stop." She winked.

"You're always too hot, Britt." I winked back.

She blushed and looked down at her drink. I took her hand over the table and squeezed it.

"I'm really sorry that I haven't exactly made the best of time with you. It's…"

"Swimming," she answers.

"Yeah but that's no excuse. I just… I feel like there's so much pressure on me. I'm swimming literally all the time and when I'm not, I'm doing homework trying to stay on top."

"It's just hard to find a balance, huh?"

I nodded. "Because all I want to do is be with you." I sighed but not in an aggravated way. "I'd give it up, Britt. I'd give up the swimming, the academics, everything, I'd give it all up for you."

She smiled but shook her head. "I would never want you to. Ever. I know what you have to do, you know, to stay this good. I know that if I'm going to be in this for the long haul, you're going to be going all over the country, maybe even the world, to swim, practice up to 4 hours a day, and then staying up all hours to do homework. I get it and I understand. I just, I want you to…I don't know."

"Talk to you?" I suggested.

She nodded. "Yeah. Like talk to me. You know? Tell me that things are getting a little pressed. Just let me know, don't leave me hanging, wondering if I did something wrong, wondering if you still cared. Please.."

"Of course Britt. I will always care, always. I am so sorry," I repeat my apology, almost about to cry again because I realized how much I hurt her.

"Don't cry," she says, staring at me with her clear blue eyes. She runs a finger against my hand. "It's going to be okay. We're going to be okay."

Neither of us saying anything for a few moments, we just stare into each other's eyes, trying to soak it all in, making up for lost time.

The waiter interrupts our gaze and brings us our food. We started eating and talk through bites of food.

"So, the morning that I left your house, I drove around for awhile before going home. My mom was there and she knew I stayed with you that night."

Brittany paused right in the middle of chewing. "Did you tell her what happened?" She joked.

"Oh, definitely," I chuckled. "But we finally got over our bump. She's finally starting to come around and she's really trying to understand and talk to me. They both are. Just the other day, my dad asked how we were."

She laughed quietly, "And what did you tell him…?"

"I said we were doing great. I didn't go through extensive detail; I didn't want to scare him, kind of just playing it by ear."

"I'm so glad! I've been wondering how it was going. I'm glad your weeks of persistence paid off."

"Thanks to you, Britt."

She grinned. "Speaking of parents, I told my family about you. Well, Matt already knew for awhile but my parents didn't."

I arched my eyebrows. "Did you tell them how we met?"

"In a way. I told them we met at the school that I did student teaching at. Umm, they're basically under the impression that you may or may not be a teacher as well."

I laughed. "Oh great."

"But don't worry, I'll tell them the real story, soon. They said that they want to meet you. Maybe sometime in the next few months?"

"I would love to meet the Pierce family."

Brittany smiled.

I spoke again, "I assume that eventually you'll be able to meet mine too. I'm sure they'll love you. You've kind of got a charm that's hard not to love."

She looked away, flattered.

"Can I watch you swim at state? The finals are Saturday afternoon?"

It never really crossed my mind that Brittany would be able to come watch me swim. I always assumed that she would be busy that day with her crazy schedule. Mentioning it though, made me really happy.

"Yes! I would love for you to be there! It's in Canton, kind of far away but finals don't start until 4."

"It's not that big of a deal, I can swing by and see my parents beforehand but I'll definitely be there in time. I'll see if someone from back home wants to tag along or something."

"That sounds great! I'll make sure to keep you informed or the times and everything. It should only last a few hours and if I make finals in everything, I'll swim four times."

"Well, you will be making finals in everything and so will your relays… I wouldn't miss it for the world."

We finished up dinner and paid. We bundled up and walked outside into the parking lot, my arm comfortably placed around her waist.

"Where's that red bug of yours?" I asked scanning the parking lot.

"Around back. If you saw my car, it would have totally given it away!"

"You're so clever."

I had a little over an hour and a half before I had to be home. On the drive back to Lima, Brittany asked, "Do you want to come over or go home?"

"Do you want me to come over or go home?"

"Come over, of course. Lord Tubbington was asking about you. But I understand if you need to get home to rest."

"Rest is for chumps, we're only driving to Canton tomorrow evening, nothing more. I would love to come over. I miss him. And I kind of miss that other person who lives with the cat, maybe just a little."

This would be the last time that I'd get to spend any more time with Brittany before state. After we walked into her apartment and said 'Hi' to Lord Tubbington, we went to the living room and laid on the couch. We didn't turn on the TV or anything, we just talked.

Brittany wanted me to tell her everything about state and how it works. She was genuinely interested and wanted to hear all about it. After I explained everything to her, including how many lengths of the pool I had to swim for each event, I snuggled into her arms and let her hold me. We were just close and it felt so good to be with her again. I nuzzled her neck and gently kissed it while she told me all about the plans she had for her beginning dance class.

After a lot of sweet lady kisses, we decided to head back. It was earlier than Ellie's curfew but I still had some packing to do. I didn't have a car so Brittany drove me home. We pulled onto my street and my heart dropped a little bit, my mom was right behind us.

"Oh, crap. That's my mom. Maybe we should drive around the block again."

"Santana," she said turning into the driveway. "She already saw my brake lights and now it's too late. Don't worry about it."

I was worrying. Brittany pulled her car in and slowed it to a stop while my mom opened one of the garage doors and pulled up past us. My mom got out of her car and started walking toward us. She waved when she saw that I was in the passenger side. Brittany turned off her car.

"Are you sure about this?" I needed her to reassure me again.

"You told me that your mom has finally started come around. It's not like we can get out of it now. She already saw us. I mean, I could just reverse and leave now. I'm sure that be a good impression to leave on your mom."

I laughed, luckily, she always knew what to say. We both got out of the car at the same time. My mom was standing towards the front with her hospital mug and a binder in her hand, probably a patient's chart.

"Hola, mija. It's a little late for you to still be out, especially since you're leaving tomorrow." I don't know why my mom was saying that. She's caught me coming in at midnight on a school night before.

"It's like 9:45, Mom. I'm going to go to sleep right away, but I'm glad you're home."

"Very well. Are you going to introduce me?" She nodded towards Brittany.

"Oh, yeah. Mom, this is Brittany Pierce. Brittany, this is my mom."

Brittany extended her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Lopez."

My mom shook her hand. "The pleasure's all mine. And please, call me Isabella."

Brittany smiled. "I've heard a lot about you, it's nice to finally meet you."

Brittany was being her usual personable and charming self.

"I've heard a lot about you too, Brittany. Now, what is it that you do? Are you in school?"

My mom knew the answer; I don't know why she was asking this; maybe just testing Brittany.

"Well, I graduated in December from LU with a bachelor in education and a minor in English. Right now, I'm just working full time at the dance studio that I teach at and applying for teaching positions for next year."

"Oh, that's splendid. Santana used to love dancing before she started swimming! But I'm sure she's told you that. Where is the job hunt taking you?"

"There's a few schools around Canton, Columbus, Cincinnati, and Hamilton that I've put my resume in for. I'm still searching too."

"That's good. I'm sure you'll find one that fits you great."

Brittany smiled. This was turning out a lot better than I thought, even though we were standing around outside.

"Do you want to come in, Brittany?" My mom asked.

Brittany briefly stalled and looked at me. It happened so quickly that I didn't think that my mom saw.

"Yeah, I'd love too. It's kind of chilly out here."

My mom turned around and started walking back into the garage and towards the door. Brittany and I exchanged wide smiles I put my arm around her waist for a brief moment and led her inside. My mom sat her stuff down on the counter and took off her coat. Brittany and I both took off our coats as well and we all three sat down at the table.

"Ma, Brittany is coming to see me on Saturday afternoon."

"Really? That's great. It's kind of a long drive, isn't it?"

"Well, my parents live in Canton. I was going to stop by to see them for awhile beforehand. Maybe see a friend or two."

"Oh, so that works out well!"

We heard footsteps coming down the stairs. It was Ellie. This was turning into a nice little family affair. When she saw all of us, she was a little surprised.

"Oh! Hello everyone."

She walked over to my mom. She said, "Hola, mami," gave her a kiss on the cheek, and sat down in the other empty chair.

She grinned looking at the three of us at the table before saying, "Oh wait, am I interrupting?"

"No, of course not, Ellie," I told her. Brittany and my mom nodded in agreement.

My mom spoke towards Brittany. "Well, when you come in on Saturday, we'll save you a seat next to us."

"Ah, thank you. That's sounds great!"

We talked a little longer, including Ellie in the conversation. Then Brittany politely said she needed to go, she had to be at the studio early to finish up some billing for the clients there.

"It was very nice meeting you, Brittany. I look forward to seeing you in a few days," my mom said with a hint of a smile.

"You too, Isabella! Bye, Ellie. I hope you guys have a wonderful night."

Ellie got up and gave her a hug. "Bye, Britt!"

My mom looked a pinch skeptical at their embrace. I eyed her carefully.

"I'll walk you out," I told Brittany.

She put on her coat and we headed back out to the garage. We lingered around her car for a few seconds. Finally, I just cupped her cheek and kissed her. I felt her hands on my waist, pulling me in for more. I couldn't help but smile into her kiss. She was so sweet, so perfect in meeting my mom. My mom liked her too, I could tell.

After we finished kissing, I told her, "She really likes you, I can tell. And I'm pretty sure she doesn't recognize you from when she met you at conferences. You're so perfect."

"Hardly," she blushed.

I opened her door and she sat down. I leaned back down and pecked her on the cheek.

"So, I'll see you soon?"

"Yes. Good luck these next few days. I'll be rooting for you and keep me informed."

"Obviously. Goodnight, Brittany."

"Goodnight, Santana." She smiled and slowly backed out of my driveway.

I walked back inside and my mom had already gone upstairs, she was probably exhausted. I was finishing packing some things for the meet and my practice bag; practice would be really nice tomorrow, the day before state. We were extremely tapered to it was just basically getting our feet wet.

My mom walked in, "I like Brittany, Santana. I'm still adjusting to the thought of her being your girlfriend but it certainly helps that she's so nice."

"I'm glad you like her. I think she's pretty nice myself."

"Does she know Ellie really well?"

I shrugged. "Uh, a little bit. They talk all the time."

"And Ellie likes her?"

"She adores her. And Brittany really likes Ellie too."

My mom smiled. "Thank you for letting me meet her. Goodnight, Santana." She kissed me forehead like she used to do when I was little.

"Goodnight, mom. Te quiero."

"Te quiero, mija."

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Please review if you'd like!**


	9. Chapter IX

**This chapter is choked FULL of swimming but I really think it's worth reading! (Prelims=Preliminaries!) There's also a lot of Quinntana friendship, and of course, Brittana :)**

* * *

Excitement filled the chilly February air as we all met at the McKinley parking lot. We were loading up onto the bus for my last state championship meet.

It didn't matter that I had already been to Grand Prixs, the Olympic Trials, Junior and Senior Championships with my summer league and club team. It didn't matter that at those meets, I'd see a few Olympians and meet up with some great swimmers across the countries. It didn't matter than winning at those meets meant a lot more for my swimming career than a high school state championship. None of that mattered compared to the feeling that I got at this meet. It was pure exhilaration. However, without all the different personalities on the team, it wouldn't be nearly the same. I honestly couldn't imagine being with a better bunch of swimmers and divers. We're really close and such an odd, fun bunch. A lot of them, well all of them, can get under my skin or cause me to yell a lot more than I intend to but it's all part of it, it's what brings us close. A team that can fight and make up together can win together.

State is also where I really grasp how much hard work that we've put in to get here, not just McKinley but all the teams. A lot of the swimmers here play two other varsity sports and don't swim year round like Quinn and I, but they're still insanely fast, elite swimmers. I admired the versatility and dedication.

The state meet didn't start until the next morning but warm ups for preliminaries started at a ripe 6 AM on Friday morning. We were all excited and pumped after an easy practice just hours before. However, none of us were stoked for the nearly three hour bus ride to Canton.

"I done told all you girls and boys to pack light! You ain't moving in, we just going to swim. My synchro swimmers, now, they know how to pack light. And they got all their makeup and costumes! Geez!" Coach Roz said as we loaded our stuff onto the bus. There were overnight bags, backpacks, swim bags, warm ups, parkas, pillow, blankets, and food all hanging in heaps from our arms.

We all laughed and stuffed ourselves into the bus. Coach Roz told us not to fall asleep because we needed a good night's sleep for prelims but none of us heeded her warning. I succumb to sleep within the first thirty minutes a playlist Brittany made for me and Tux in my grasp. What felt like only seconds later, I found myself being shaken awake by someone.

"What?!" I half-yelled, aggravated from being woke up.

"Santana, open your eyes." It was Quinn. I could recognize her quiet yet demanding voice anywhere.

I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, coaxing myself out of sleep. I sighed deeply. "Now what is this dire emergency that you had to wake me from my oh-so-pleasant slumber?"

"Coach Roz wants us two to give a pep talk to the whole team before we unload at the hotel," she said rather nonchalantly. "You know what I'm talking about?"

"Yeah, I know. I don't think it was worth waking me up for though."

I sat up and looked around, although it was completely dark outside, the bus driver kept low lights on overhead. All of the other swimmers were sleeping and even Coach Roz was sleeping, clenching her bronze medal. I scooped Tux back into one of my bags and scooted over to let Quinn into my seat. It was a little chilly on the bus so I offered her under my blanket and she took me up on it.

"Where are we?" I asked Quinn, rubbing my eyes.

"We just passed Mansfield."

We still had about an hour to go.

"Damn. Bus rides are just my favorite freaking thing ever," I said. "What do you want to tell them?"

She shrugged. "It's a pep talk, like last year. It doesn't need to be long. We'll feed off each other."

I nodded. "Yeah, we're basically pep talk experts."

"Obviously." She smirked. "Anyway, how are you doing? I haven't talked to you that much; we've both been so busy."

"Not too bad. I basically do the same thing everyday and—"

Quinn interrupted me, "No, I mean like _how are you_? Like you and your girlfriend." She whispered the last part and I let out a quiet snort.

"Oh, well my mom met Brittany yesterday. We actually just got over a huge fight and she was dropping me off at my house."

Quinn arched an eyebrow. "I presume it went well, since you don't look too stunned."

"It did go well. Better than I thought, my mom even told her to sit with the family for finals."

"Keep in mind that you have to make finals first, Santana…"

I laughed lightly. "Oh yeah. If I make it… Gosh, I should really keep my ego in check."

She smirked. "So when are you going to do it?"

"What?!" I was completely blindsided by her question. I knew that Quinn and I were getting closer but not this close. "Quinn, don't be a pervert."

She looked at me quizzically with a slight head tilt for a few seconds before she blurted out, "No! God no. Not that. Come out." She looked around, making sure no one was listening. "When are you going to come out, like to everyone?"

"I haven't decided yet. I know I can be this tough bitch someone's but I'm kind of scared scared. I just…When it's out, it's never going to be the same, it doesn't go back in. I'll never be treated the same. I told Roz when I talked to her that one day before districts and she was totally cool but not everyone is going to have a great reaction like Coach Roz."

"Your real friends won't treat you any differently. Your real friends won't care. Why would you want to spend your last semester of high school lying to yourself and to everyone else? Why wouldn't you want to be the person who you really are? To let everyone know this great person that you've discovered. We hated each other when I found out and I still accepted it." She half-smiled. "Besides, you know how to beat people's asses if you need to. You know, go all Lima Heights on them. Which is really strange considering you don't actually live in Lima Heights…I don't know why you always say that," Quinn said the last sentences curiously to herself.

Everything that Quinn was saying was what I had been thinking about and what Brittany and Ellie kept telling me. I think that it helped hearing it from an outside source, someone who wasn't so close to the situation.

I smiled at her. "Thank you, Quinn. And I don't know what you're talking about, I am so from Lima Heights. If they piss me off, I will go all Lima Heights on them!"

She returned my smile. "I never thought I'd say this but, I think that I'm actually starting to like you. We're kind of becoming pretty good friends."

"You know as much as I hate to admit it, you're right. I actually kind of like talking to you."

"Probably because I'm not making your life a living hell anymore…"

I ignore her comment, no need to bring back old history. "So are you excited to swim?"

"Oh of course! I love the state meet. Puck wanted me to tell you good luck and that he's going to be cheering for you."

"Aw, that's so sweet. How are you two?" I didn't mind talking about him anymore, I was completely over him. His memories were still there but that was all, no feelings at all.

"We're doing really good. I'm sorry about everything, again. I'm a better person now, probably because of him."

"Because of Puck?" I chuckled. "That's something I never thought I'd here. But that grudge is gone like my mother's tamales. I'm happy for you two. Is he coming down Saturday?"

"Yeah, a bunch of those guys are carpooling. And of course, there's all the girls that are coming. Probably the most support we'll ever get at a swim meet from McKinley."

"It's so great that they're coming all this way to see the team. Maybe for one day, the town of Lima will shut up about football and basketball for one damn minute."

She laughed. "Amen!"

She unintentionally leaned her head on my shoulder and soon she drifted to sleep. Normally, I'd be annoyed at the sentiment but I didn't mind. Quinn and I, we had a weird friendship but we had huge mutual respect for each other. I wasn't lying when I told I liked talking to her. I almost wish that we could have buried our hatred earlier so we could have been actual fiends for longer. No use lamenting on it now though. I texted Brittany and then I fell back asleep as well.

I woke up later and saw that we were in the city and close to the hotel that we were staying at for the two nights. Most everyone was awake and a low chatter filled the bus. I woke Quinn and we made our way to the front by Coach to talk to her before we actually stopped. She asked us if we were prepared to talk and we told her that we were. We pulled into the parking lot and the bus driver turned off the engine and turned up the lights.

Coach started off by telling everyone how proud she was of all of us for making it this far. Then I took over.

I turned down bitch mode and went into complete motivational speaker mode. "Girls…and boys, we made it! This is such a big deal. Some of you are just freshman and sophomores and you have more years to come so whatever happens in prelims tomorrow morning, don't sweat it. There are hundreds of other swimmers and divers who would kill to be here."

Quinn added. "Yeah, this is that time that you put all you've learned, all the hard work. You put it all together and you try your absolute hardest. You're going to push your body to the limit and back. It'll all be worth it, no matter if you place or not."

"Now what I suggest," I continued. "…is that you take it on race at a time. Don't think about finals during prelims, don't think about your next race if you're in more than one. Focus on that particular race and swim it like you know how to."

"The whole town of Lima is watching out for us. Let's make them proud!"

I motioned for everyone to get into the huddle. "Titans on three. One.. Two.. Three!"

"TITANS!" The whole team screamed.

We checked into the hotel and situated our stuff into our rooms. I was rooming with Leah, Quinn, and another senior, Chloe. We were the fastest swimmers on the team and had killer relays. After a couple hours of just relaxing and talking, we all fell asleep.

The next morning, after a very structured breakfast under the watchful eye of Coach Roz, we warmed up as a team during our allotted time. The energy was high in the whole place but the prelims were just long and exhausting. I swam my races like I would at any other meet. I knew the times were fast enough to put me in the top seeds and even break state records but I didn't want to go all out and further exhaust myself for tomorrow.

Out of all the McKinley swimmers from the girls team that made to state, six didn't make it to the finals the next day and three were only going to finals on a relay. It was expected but we were still anticipating how well we'd perform tomorrow. We had some of the top seeds in some events but in other events, we had no swimmers in finals or consolation finals. It was all up in the air.

The team left for a late lunch and came back to watch some of the Division II finals, all three Ohio divisions had their own finals, prelims, and diving all throughout this week with the grand finale being the DI swimming finals. There wasn't really anything we could do besides watch. Well, Coach Roz wouldn't let us do anything else. Every year we would try to convince her to let us go to a museum or something after prelims but she always told us no, she was afraid we'd get hurt or twist an ankle. After watching the finals, we went to grab dinner, and then back to the hotel where a lot of us took much needed ice baths to help alleviate muscle soreness.

I was the last to ice myself and then I showered. When I got out and dressed, Quinn came in to brush her teeth with me.

When Quinn was finished, she leaned against the bathroom counter and said, "You totally killed backstroke this morning, Santana."

"Well I didn't kill it enough to be faster than 'Lucy Fabray,'" I teased. They use her real name; despite all the times she's tried to get them to use 'Quinn'.

"Well, we all know how well that works out, remember last year? But aren't you seeded like 3 seconds ahead of the next girl in the 200 free? You're going to crush them tomorrow."

"Well, thanks. We both broke state records in just the prelims so who knows what tomorrow will bring. You better bring your 'A-game' in the backstroke. When I win, I want to win fair and square."

Quinn laughed. "So cocky. But I assure you, my 'A-game' will be brought."

* * *

We woke up late the next morning. We had more than enough time, with warm ups at 2 and finals starting at 4 that afternoon. We had time to kill and ate a brunch before packing our stuff back into the bus and heading back to the natatorium. I checked my phone, Brittany had texted me earlier that morning telling me she was on her way down, by now she was already in the city with her parents. I was so excited! I told her that I couldn't wait to see her.

We pulled up to the natatorium. This would be the last time that I would swim here as a high school competitor, the last meet. It was a bittersweet moment. It would be the last time I'd pull up this horribly tight fastskin suit to swim in a high school swim meet. We warmed up and then sat around, we were all a little bit nervous. The amount of swimmers who were actually swimming was cut in half, at least but the energy was at least twice that of yesterday. I was more than pumped.

I saw my parents and Ellie in the stands; they put their jackets in a seat next to them, so sweet. Then I realized that my dad would be meeting Brittany for the first time without me being there. Luckily, I knew Ellie would take care of any awkwardness. I was pretty blessed to have her as a sister.

It was almost as if time was on a TV remote and someone pushed the fast forward button. I watched Brittany walk in, watched her interaction with my family, it seemed alright. I waved at my friends who came in, jumped into the warm up pool for a personal warm up, and then I was suddenly behind the blocks waiting for the third girl to finish her leg in the medley relay.

I focused everything I could back onto the pool. Everything that was going on and everything going on around me had to be pushed out of my mind. I watched the pool intently. We were trailing another school by two yards. I watched as Chloe tried to keep up on the breaststroke leg. She slammed into the wall and I dove right in. _It's just a 50, Santana. Swim it like you know how to. Keep your head in the water. Kick! You're better than them, faster than them. You're freaking Santana Lopez. Do it for your team, catch up. Close the gap._ As soon as I touched the wall, I knew we had it. My feeling was confirmed as I looked at the time board and saw _W. McKinley_ with a 1 next to it. I pumped a fist in the air while hanging on the gutter. The feeling was indescribable. The divers had put us in a super great position, points wise and now, in the first event, we were already proving ourselves as the ones to beat!

On the medal podium after the relay, Quinn said, "McKinley is already kicking ass! Great job girls!"

The boy's medley relay started went as I jumped in the warm up pool for the 200 free which is right after. The meet was quick, only two heats, consolation and finals, of each event for boys and girls. Top eight places were announced after each event and medals were given. It was the hardest on swimmers who had back to back events. I really only had about 10 or 15 minutes of recovery until I was racing again. For the finals of each event, the swimmers were rounded up and announced for each lane as they walked out to take their positions behind the block.

Before heading over to waiting area for finals, I had a short chat with Coach Roz and waved into the stands to the people I knew, most importantly, to wave at Brittany. She looked so cute, wearing a McKinley swimming shirt that I had given her. A huge smile showed on her face. I wondered if any of my friends from school saw that she was there, sitting with my family. Eh, I guess I'll find out later. No need to worry about it now.

_"And in lane 4 from McKinley High School, Santana Lopez."_

I walked out to an abundance of applause. The McKinley crowd was huge. I smiled as I walked across to the opposite end of the pool. As I stood behind at the end of my lane, I took off my jacket, and put my goggles over my eyes, suctioning them perfectly. As I was rotating both of my arms in a stretch, I looked over to my left and saw my biggest competition, Annie Hanger, from a school in Cincinnati. As far as the times showed, it would take a miracle for her to beat me but anything is possible in swimming. Her prelim time would have won the state meet any day if I wasn't here. But I am. I am here and I have the best time and I had to show everyone what I could do. This is for me, this is for my team, this is for my school.

"Santana," she nodded towards me with a slight smile. "Good luck."

I smiled back and wished her the same. I wasn't nervous, oddly enough. Some days I swim over 10,000 yards, a 200 was nothing in comparison to that. I knew how to swim this. Nerves would only make it worse.

_"Swimmers, step up."_ A hush filled among the crowd. All eyes were on the pool.

I stepped on the block and positioned my feet; my left foot in front, the tip of my big toe curled ever-so-slightly over the block and my right foot behind.

_"Take your mark."_

I leaned down, took a hold of the metal block beneath me, and I braced myself. Every muscle, from my feet, to my legs, to my back, to my arms, and to my neck strained.

After what always feels like the most painfully long half a second to one second wait, I hear the distinct **BEEP** and see the flash of light.

I pushed off the block in record time and I dove in. I felt the dive, it was perfect; a perfect arch and a perfect entrance. I streamline kicked until surfacing more than halfway down the pool. I kept my concentration. At each turn though, I was able to get a passing glance at my competition, or lack thereof. Every time I took a breath, which wasn't too often, I heard the cheers and whistles that I had grown to love hearing.

I swam what felt like the fastest first half that I've ever swum. I had to be careful; everyone knows that the third part of the race is the hardest, in this case, the third fifty. I couldn't let my lead get to my head. I may already have the race but I was still racing against my record from last night. I pushed the pain and the ache out of my mind and just swam. At the turn on the last fifty, for the split second that I was sideways, I saw just open water next to me; the other girls were far behind. I only breathed once on the last 25 though my lungs were dying for more.

As I touched the wall, my body went limp. I grabbed the side of the pool and spit out the water that was in my mouth. I looked at the time through my goggles.

First. _1:43.56_. I smiled so widely through my labored breaths. I made another personal best by taking a half a second off my prelim time, breaking the state record once again and I was just a second and a half off the national high school record. It was an indescribable feeling. The cheers and applause were overwhelming. I looked towards the lane next to me and saw Annie, breathlessly looking at her second place time, a few seconds behind mine. I waded across my lane to her and shook her hand over the lane line.

She wrapped a congratulatory arm around me with a smile and I remembered that she was just a sophomore. "Hey!" I screamed over the applause. "You better kill them next year."

"Oh, I will, I promise! Great job Santana!"

I got out and they announced the awards for the event and I got my second first place medal of the meet. After that, I went over to the warm up pool to cool down. After cooling down, I checked back with my team for a few minutes, wrapped myself in my swimming parka, and retreated into the stands to see my family, Brittany, and everyone else.

"MY BEST FRIEND IS A STAR!" Colby yelled when I walked to all of them.

I chuckled as she hung on me from a hug. "Well, thank you Colby!"

All of the other people there gave me hugs and kind words, even Puck gave me a hug. I lingered around all of my friends for a little bit before eyeing my family, just on the edge of where most of the McKinley people were.

"Well, I better go talk to my family," I said.

Brooke said, "Okay, we'll see you in the pool soon. Remember our student teacher, Miss. Pierce? She's here, sitting next to Ellie and your family."

"Oh, yeah…" My mind raced and as I thought of some kind of explanation. "Our families are really good friends and she was in town so she stopped by," I said nonchalantly.

"Ah, I gotcha. Well good luck Santana!"

I smiled to her and walked over a few yards to Brittany and my family. My family greeted me with great enthusiasm. I gave my parents huge hugs. My mom and dad went on and on about how excited they were and Ellie could not stop hugging me. I think she was even more excited than me! I stepped in Brittany's direction and she gave me a modest hug. I'm sure she was trying to be polite around my parents and everyone. I just wanted her to wrap me in her arms and kiss me.

"Thanks guys, I have to admit, I was getting a little queasy on that last 25 of the 200 but you know, I always pull through," I said with a goofy grin.

My parents rolled their eyes and went back to talking to Leah's parents next to them.

Ellie said, "Well, you still got another big W to get, Santana!"

"Oh, we'll see," I told her. "Quinn's freaking fast."

I looked back at the pool, I still had plenty of time. I squeezed myself between Ellie and Brittany. Ellie noticed that I wanted some privacy and made herself busy by messing around on her phone.

"Well hello there superstar!" Brittany said with a very big smile.

"Hi, I'm so glad could make it! I hope it hasn't been hella weird sitting with my family," I half whispered.

She half whispered back, "Not at all. Ellie has been super cool, telling me everything that's happening, and not making it awkward. She introduced me to your dad. I think he likes me. We talked about knee injuries and bones."

I chuckled at her absolute adorable-ness. "You're so freaking charming."

She laughed. "I try. Anyway, you're swimming is amazing. I've honestly never seen anything like it. But, I do have a question."

I took a swig of Gatorade. "No, I'm not taking performance enhancing drugs. I swear."

She laughs at my outrageous answer to her unsaid question.

"Okay, what's the real question?"

"How do you put this kind of swimsuit on?" She asked, trying to fit a finger under my suit at the thigh.

I laugh. "It takes a super long time. I really have to just go inch by inch, it takes about 15 or 20 minutes. It's even harder to get off. I just have to stand in the shower and piece it off little by little." I pick at the material, trying to pinch it but to no avail, it was too tight. "I think it would be easier to take on and off it I didn't have boobs or an ass like all these other girls." I point to the abundance of girls in the same type of suit that are loitering around the deck.

"Well, thank God that you do have boobs and an ass," she said with a wink.

"Britt…" I grinned.

"So how is the team doing as far as placings?"

I shrug. "The girls team isn't doing too bad. You know, we got first in the first two events and our diver placed in the top 10. But even with that and the other events that Quinn and I are in, we're kind of no match for the powerhouse of some of those Columbus and Cincinnati teams. They have multiple swimmers in the finals of each event where we don't even have swimmers in all the finals. But I think we could very easily be in the top 10. The boys team isn't that strong but they'll be in top 20, I think. We'll just have to see. I'm anxious but I'm really excited."

"That's really good! I'm so excited for it guys!"

I smiled and resisted the urge to kiss her.

Brittany felt it to so she just blurted out, "So are you and Quinn like famous at these things?"

"Famous?"

"Yeah, like do people ask you for your autograph?"

I laughed. "No. But everyone knows who we are. I used to be a nobody. Just that Latina girl swimming. Then I started beating people. Quinn though, everyone always knew her."

"Why?"

"I don't know, actually. But yesterday, this girl, Paige Justin, used ti have this odd, huge crush on her, told me that she couldn't wait to see me swim. I was a little star struck."

"Which one is she?"

I search throughout the pool deck until I find where her team is sitting. I spot the sea of orange parkas and I see her laying with her head on some guys legs.

"You can't see her very well but that's her laying all over that guy."

Brittany squints to get a better view. "Oh, she is hot! Do you swim against her?"

"No. I mean, I have but she swims sprint freestyle. And she's not as fast."

"But of course..." She grinned. I saw her legs bounce in place, like she was nervous or timid.

I nodded towards them. "Brittany, what's wrong?"

She chuckled nervously. "I'm just kind of scared for you..."

"Scared of what?" I subtly put my hand on hers.

"Ellie showed me that sheet that had all the events and times and she showed me that Quinn was faster than you yesterday."

I smiled because it was so adorable when she was worried. "You are so incredibly cute right now. You don't have to worry about a thing, Britt. Just sit back and watch. Oh, and cheer."

"Okay, Santana. I will."

I reluctantly left my parents, friends, and Brittany to prepare for the most important event; the back. I had been waiting all day for this. I was so ready. I pulled out Tux and gave him a little squeeze and bop on the beak. I found Quinn and we warmed up and made our way to the lineup. We barely talked though, we both needed time to think and prepare ourselves mentally and physically. It was scary, having to go up against a teammate and someone who I've actually grown close to. Every other time that we competed against each other in backstroke, we still had a little hatred for one another. I put my cap and placed my goggles on my forehead. I blocked out all the commotion around me. This was the last time I'd walk out as an individual in my high school career, I wanted to savor it..

_"In lane 4 from William McKinley High School, Lucy Fabray!"_

Quinn walked out just strides in front of me.

_"In lane 5, also from William McKinley High School, Santana Lopez!"_

When my name was called, I walked out and Quinn slowed down until I caught up with her. Surprisingly, she grabbed by hand and we walked to the blocks hand in hand. It wasn't weird at all, I thought it was the perfect touch.

"This is it, Quinn."

"Yes, it is. You better swim hard and fast," she said.

"Wanky." I flashed a grin. "You too."

"Good luck," Quinn said, giving me a pat on the back.

"Luck is for losers," I repeated her infamous catch phrase. She laughed.

I took off my jacket, put my goggles over my eyes, and did my two arm rotations and jumped in place three times.

_"Swimmers step in, feet first."_

I jumped into the cold water, surfaced, and positioned my hands and feet for a backstroke start.

_"Take your mark."_

I curled forward, felt every muscle brace and my back tighten.

**BEEP.**

I threw my arms back and pushed off the wall. I arched my back and made a beautiful entrance into the water. I kept my arms straight and dolphin kicked underwater while I watched the surface of the water get closer and closer. I was far past the 5 yard flags when I started my stroke. I just swam. There was no holding back. On the first 25, I watched and saw the five yard flags above me. _One, two, three, four strokes, and flip over._ The wall met me there in perfect position for my flip turn. I couldn't tell if any of the swimmers were behind or in front all I saw in my peripheral vision were splashes. As I started the third length of the pool, I could see splashes of water down the pool behind me, the two outside swimmers way behind. I still had no idea where Quinn was. I forgot if she was even on the left or right of me at this point.

As I turned into my last 25, my arms were aching. My legs were telling me to stop. My mouth and nose were full of water. That whole myth that backstrokers can breathe whenever they want is total bullshit. Most of the time, when you're going fast enough, there is too much splashing over your face to breathe, you just have to find a pocket of air and a rhythm. I saw the flags for the last time. _One, two, three, four, five strokes, arch backward, and touch the wall._ My hand touched the wall first with my body following in suit, slamming up against it.

The cheering that I had heard throughout the whole race subsided as I rose out of the water. Why? Normally they would have grown in applause for the winner, which I knew for certain was either Quinn or I. I looked at the time board, my eyes went straight to Lane 5. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. _53.22_. A 1 was placed next to the time, indicating a first place finish. I won within a second of the national high school record. The state record was shattered from the prelims last night with that time. Simultaneously, before the fact that I won had time to register with my brain, I looked at the time in Lane 4, Quinn's lane. _53.22_. It was the same time that was recorded for my lane. I wasn't the only winner. Quinn won. I won. We both won. What? I knitted my eyebrows together and took off my goggles. I took another look at it, maybe my goggles had fogged more than I thought and I was seeing thing. I wasn't just seeing things; it was a tie. A FREAKING TIE!

I've only seen a tie like twice and I had been to a million swim meets over the past decade. Ties do not happen in swimming. The time is recorded to the one hundredth decimal place. Even the chances of two times being within one one-hundredth of a second of each other is rare. I was having a really hard time grasping what that a tie happened. One of two things happens in a tie situation. The first is a swim-off, which is where the two swimmers involved in the tie swim the race again to determine who breaks it. The second option is that the placing is shared between the two tied swimmers. There was no way my body was going to let me do a swim-off; I still had a relay left. There was definitely no way that Quinn could do one either; she had the same relay as me and the 100 breast left.

"…the hell?!" I questioned to no one in particular and I looked around the silent natatorium.

The other swimmers in the race just stared blankly, they couldn't believe their eyes either. My confusion and thoughts were met by Quinn who floated over into my lane.

"This isn't real," Quinn said, incredulous.

"Even my Mexican third eye couldn't see this one coming," I replied. "This doesn't happen. Like, what the fuck?"

I heard whispers among the crowd, everyone was talking but no one was talking loud enough to fill the air with the regular camaraderie. I scanned the crowd and saw the same look of utter confusion pasted on all of their faces. All of the meet officials were walking around, talking to each other. Quinn and I got out of the pool with the other swimmers, who were still dazed and incredulous, just like us. I slipped off my swim cap and held it in between my fingers, nervously fumbling with it and tangling it within my goggles; a habit that I used to do as a young swimmer. Coach Roz, in a flash, was already right next to the officials. The chances of getting a tie in swimming is so slim and so rare that I doubt it was even addressed in the state rules and regulations.

"Uh uh." She peered over the shoulder of an official, who was standing in a circle with the others. She parted them and stood amongst them. "We is not having my two best swimmers swimmin' in no swim-off. Actually, they're not only my two best swimmers. They are the best swimmers in this whole damn meet! You think these girls ain't tired enough?!" Coach Roz yelled loud enough to fill the near silent pool deck.

I heard more whispers and voices throughout the crowd. Some people giggled at Coach Roz, you really can't help it though, she's hilarious.

"Coach, we are looking up regulations for this type of thing. It has never happened before. We are not sure what needs to happen, a swim-off may not even be required." An official said firmly enough to calm the crowd.

"Well, I know for a fact that it best not be!" Coach Roz yelled even louder. "When the hell would they swim it? After the last event? I remember watching the damn Olympics one time and there was a damn tie for gold, those bitches aint' make them do a swim-off. Both these girls be swimmin' again soon. You cray-cray if you think that Salsa Caliente and Girl Next Door are going to be swimming against each other again after it's all over. It's hard enough having these two in practice. These girls are teammates, they friends! Nod to me if I'm getting through to you! Nod to me!"

The officials nod, all intimidated by Roz.

She holds up her Olympic medal. "I won this bronze damn Olympic medal in Beijing, China for individual synchronized swimming and I have connections with the chocolate President and Michael Phelps himself. Unless, you want the God of swimming and the Leader of the Free World on your case, I suggest you give them both first place."

Quinn and I both shared shy laughs each other as we toweled. The officials tell Coach to step aside for a few seconds while they discuss things. Literally, the whole meet is at a standstill. Coach turns to us. She puts a hand on each of our outside shoulders.

"You girls did good out there. You really made me a proud coach. Now, I know this ain't the situation you were expectin' but we gonna get this figured out. But, if I wasn't so concerned with those officials in that white ass clothing, I'd be speechless. That was the race of a lifetime. I would bet my medal that you will end up on some news headlines. I never would have thought that two swimmers would have won a state championship in the same event in the same year from the same mother-fuckin' school!—Excuse my language."

We both laughed at Coach Roz, she was so heated and so stoic. She always had our back.

Before we even had time to respond, the announcer came on the speakers.

_"And will the top 8 finishers for the girls 100 yard backstroke please make their way to the podium."_ Quinn and I rushed to the general area and traded awkward smiles with our competitors. _"In 8th place for the girls 100 yard backstroke…"_ the announcer read down from 8th place. _"And in first place,"_ He skipped second place! That can only mean one thing! _"For the first time in OHSAA history, we have a tie. Teammates from William McKinley High School, Santana Lopez and Lucy Fabray have tied for first with a new Ohio state record of 53.22!"_

Quinn and I stepped up onto the podium, hand in hand, as we accepted our medals while the audience roared in applause. She grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me in. I hugged her. I couldn't believe this. A tie was something that barely ever happens and it happened to us. It happened to the two girls who always fought each other for first, the two girls who wanted this more than anything. It's not like it could be a time every time, or next time, we both knew that next time, one of us would swim faster, it's how it always is. But right now, sharing this with Quinn, everything felt perfect.

After the medal ceremony, the meet started back up again and we went to Coach Roz.

Her arms were crossed and she nodded. "That's what I thought… I knew they would listen to me. You girls best be getting your pretty little asses to the warm up pool. Quinn, you got breaststroke in just a little."

Quinn laughs. "Will do, Coach."

On our walk to the warm up pool, we made sure to pass by the stands. We waved at them and were met from cheers from all people, not just William McKinley people.

"God, I can't believe this," I told her on the way there. "I am genuinely so happy right now."

"It's a miracle. All these years, all these months preparing for that moment. Who knew it would be like this?"

"I sure as hell didn't."

"Well congrats, Santana!"

"You too Quinn!" I said back to her.

I cooled down from backstroke and then back up for the last relay as Quinn placed first in breast, actually going slower in prelims and just two tenths of a second off her state record from prelims. The last event of the night was my last event, the 4 x 100 relay. We pulled off an impressive third place finish, dominating from a 7th place seed. Also, I literally just went three for four at the state meet. I was a seven time state champions throughout high school. Three more state championships. I was speechless. It was really something that I could only dream of. Not only that, the girls team had just finished in third, the best placing ever for McKinley High! I could go on and on about how great it felt to be number one with a relay or as an individual but standing in the 3rd place spot, with my whole team beat any other win. I was a hot mess of emotions. This was the best possible way to end a high school career. I couldn't stop tearing up with pure tears of joy. I'd never forget this feeling. The feeling of total euphoria. I didn't even complain having to get out of the fast skin, I just did. And in record time too!

After that, the team had finally calmed down from our high and we had one last team meeting in the lobby of the natatorium. We then walked over to the lingering McKinley crowd that had formed while waiting for Roz to finish talking. She just babbled about how great we all did, she was as big of a mess as all of us. We all walked over afterwards and were attacked by an abundance of hugs and screams.

Rachel said, "Santana, I know we don't always see eye to eye on everything but that was so amazing. Granted, not as amazing as my Broadway debut will be, but still very, very great. Congratulations! To you and Quinn!"

I rolled my eyes and her Broadway comment but eventually succumb to her uncanny flattery and pulled her in for a little hug.

Slowly, everyone started to disperse and head off in their separate directions. I found my family after congratulating Quinn's parents who were actually trying to mind each other for once. I ran right over to them and hugged all of them, tears stinging my eyes for another countless time.

"Santana, congratulations. We are so, so proud of you. I couldn't even believe my eyes. During that backstroke, Jorge had to hold me back because I was screaming too much," my mom said, almost hysterical.

My mom was so funny at swim meets. She'd be the quietest, most reserved person there until I started swimming and then there is no stopping her.

My dad chuckled. "Mija, this was the best swim meet that I've ever been to. Truly amazing. You deserve all the praise, this is your day. Congratulations!"

Ellie hugged me tightly and yelled to everyone in the lobby, "MY BIG SISTER IS SANTANA LOPEZ. SHE JUST WON LIKE A MILLION TIMES!"

I laughed. "Oh, Ellie. Thanks."

I looked at Brittany who was standing, grinning ear-to-ear next to Ellie, while watching the interactions. I smiled when I saw her eyes light up when we made eye contact. I closed the gap of a few feet between us and put my hands on her waist. There weren't a lot of people around, most of the McKinley people were contained within themselves or already gone. I quickly pulled her in and gave her a kiss on the lips. It wasn't a long kiss or anything, a super small peck. I felt her tense but I glanced at my parents and they both expressed small, shy smiles. A feeling of relief washed over me. All of the rough few weeks that we went through were worth it to see them actively being so accepting and happy for me.

After the kiss, I pulled Brittany in for a huge hug. I buried my face into the crook of her neck and breathed in the familiar vanilla scent that she always had. She wrapped her arms around me, putting a gentle hand on my damp hair. I peeked over Brittany's shoulder and saw Chloe's sister, Kaylie, looking at me quizzically. It was brief and when I pulled away from Brittany's embrace, their family was already on their way out. I shrugged to myself. I didn't care at this point. I was going to have to start my journey out of the closet some way or another. I took a brief hold of Brittany's hand and reluctantly let go then looked towards my family.

"I'm absolutely starving," I said. "Let's get my crap from the bus and then can we eat?"

My dad spoke up, "Of course. Where do you want to go, honey?"

"Anywhere. Ellie?"

Ellie was like a bottomless pit; she was always thinking about food and didn't mind deciding on a place to eat.

"Red Lobster?" She asked. I nodded.

"You can come right, Brittany?" I asked.

"I wouldn't miss it!"

At Red Lobster, I felt like I ate the whole place. A huge meal after a big swim meet was part of diet ritual! The awkwardness of Brittany being there lasted less than 10 minutes. Both my mom and dad became very comfortable with her presence and she was easily included in the conversation. I think she was really starting to grow on them. It didn't surprise me, her personality is infectious. We talked about the meet and I told them everything, from the inside track. Brittany discussed her work at the dance studio. After dinner, my dad picked up the check, Brittany offered to pay for hers but he politely declined.

"Brittany, you drove three hours just to see Santana swim, this is the least we could do. Thank you."

Brittany smiled and said in the most English accent I've ever heard, "De nada." Everyone chuckled.

My mom spoke up after dad paid, "Are you ready to head home?"

We all nodded.

"Can I ride home with Britt? It's late and I wouldn't want her driving all the way back to Lima alone."

Brittany spoke up, "Oh, I wouldn't want to drag Santana away from you guys on her special day…"

"Nonsense! It's fine by us if you want her to ride with you!" Ellie spoke for them.

I wasn't so inclined to listen to her, I looked at them. They nodded.

Brittany looked at my parents. She smiled. "Thank you."

* * *

I could not picture a more perfect way to end this amazing day than a long car ride with Brittany. As we departed out of the city and onto the freeway, she took my hand and held it in the middle console of my car.

I pulled down the sun visor and looked at my face in the mirror. My hair was skillfully balancing on the top of my head in some kind of bun. I hadn't put on any makeup today so at least the mascara and eyeliner wasn't all runny from the pool like usual but then again, I wasn't wearing makeup. It was definitely not a sight for sore eyes.

"Brittany, you could have told me I looked that I looked like death."

"Why would I tell you that when I think you're the most gorgeous girl in the world?" She questioned and then added, "Even without makeup."

"You're perfect, how did I get so lucky?"

"Your prose and verb usage was just really intriguing to me, that's how."

"Oh, right. I forgot about that."

"That's alright, everyone forgets things. You can just kiss me and we'll call it even," she suggested.

I leaned over and pecked her cheek. She giggled.

"I hope it wasn't too awkward. I know that being cooped up in a hot swimming pool isn't the ideal family meeting situation."

She shook her head. "Not too awkward. It was actually really good. They were so kind. They told me stories about you."

"Oh, God. Like what?"

"Well, your dad said when you were 10, you told all the girls next to you that you peed during warm ups so they shouldn't swim."

I chuckled. "I totally did not do that."

"Uh huh, sure. They told me that it didn't work out so well and they all still dove in. You don't still pee in the pool, right?"

I stay silent and purse my lips.

"Santana!"

"Come on Britt, you can't expect me to go through a 3 hour practice without peeing! Or like today, I had to pee and I'm not going to take off that suit just to pee so I did during warm ups." I shrug. "Every swimmer does it, I swear."

She giggles. "That's gross but if it makes you faster, I guess that's okay with me."

"Thanks so much for understanding," I say sarcastically.

"It was really fun though, watching you swim. I've never been to a swim meet; they get so loud with all the whistles and yelling."

"Yeah, apparently it's supposed to be the only thing that a swimmer can hear underwater. I can never hear my club team coach's whistles but I can hear Roz's every single time."

Brittany laughed. "I'm pretty sure everyone can hear hers. She's a great coach isn't she?"

I nodded. "Yes, she's loud but she's incredible. The bronze medal that she wears every day is like an inspiration. But enough about Roz, what else did you talk about? Besides me?"

"Um, we talked about us."

"Like us?"

"Yeah. They asked how we met."

I cringed just a bit. "Oh... um, what did you say?"

"I didn't say anything for a few seconds and then Ellie was like 'They met when Santana went to Brooke's little sister's dance recital where Brittany teaches for and they just hit it off.'"

I smiled. "Ellie said that?"

She nodded. "I didn't really know what to do so I just nodded. You know, they're still adjusting and I don't think it would be best if I said 'Yeah, we met during my student teaching.' And even though I met your mom there at conferences, I really don't think she remembers me."

"Yeah, she's really bad with names and faces. I'm glad Ellie covered us. Maybe one day, like 5 years from now, I can tell them but it'd be better to keep it cool for now."

She grinned and giggled.

"What?" I asked.

"You believe we'll be together 5 years from now?" She asked in a very whimsical, optimistic tone.

I blushed at my own remark. I hadn't even realized I said it, it just felt so natural.

"Well, I, uh..." I stumbled before regaining confidence and saying a determined, "Absolutely."

Brittany didn't say anything but she didn't have to. The grin that she had earlier didn't change, it stayed plastered on her face and I knew she felt the same way that I did.

We started talking about places in the world that we thought would be fun to travel to and I ended up falling asleep. When I woke up, Brittany was quietly singing to a song quietly playing in her car. She heard me stir and stopped singing.

"Don't stop singing. You're voice is so gorgeous."

She shrugged with a smile and sung through the rest of the song.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep. I was supposed to ride with you to keep you company."

She chuckled. "No worries. You were only asleep for an hour. But…do you mind if I stop for gas?"

"I suppose, I mean, only if we want to get home and all."

We stopped at the nearest gas station. Brittany got out and started to gas up.

She poked her head in the door, "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

I smiled. Even though we literally just ate, I felt the slightest hunger pang again.

"Of course you are. You want to come in or do you want me to grab you something?"

"I'll come in."

We walked into the gas station and scanned the refrigerators. "Naked juice?" I asked

"Why do you always want me to get Naked, Santana?" She chuckled.

I rolled my eyes with a laugh and grabbed two bottles and we found some almonds to munch on. At the checkout line, her hand was lingering on her lower back as we waited for the person in front of us to finish paying.

The man behind us spoke up and said, "Excuse me, but are you two a couple?"

I looked at him. He was in his late twenties or early thirties and somewhat attractive. He wore jeans, a jacket and a baseball hat.

"Um, yeah. We are," Brittany said definitively then averted her eyes elsewhere.

"I thought so. I saw you two walk in. I didn't know two girls so beautiful could be lesbians."

"Wow, I didn't know someone could be such an ignorant asshole," I said, turning around.

"Come on gorgeous, I didn't mean it like that. What are you two doing this late on a Saturday night? Are you looking for a third person for your party?"

Just as I was about to pull out all stops and go full on bitch mode at him, Brittany whispers, "Don't say anything," to me through gritted teeth while taking her hand off of my back.

So I didn't, neither did Brittany. The cashier gave us a sympathetic look and I felt him linger over us as we paid and we hurried out of the place.

I heard him call out, "Don't be such dykes! Loosen up a little!"

We hurried out of the gas station and to her car. She opened the door for me and then got in the driver's side. We watched as he walked out, luckily he didn't notice us, and went on his own way.

"Britt, I could have totally schooled his ass," I said, wondering why she told me to be quiet.

"I know you could have. And you would have. But you see, in situations like this, it's sometimes best not to say a thing. Homophobia is so alive, everywhere. You don't know what strangers are capable of, especially this late at night. It's cool and great to be out but you also have to be careful. Do you understand?"

She wasn't speaking to me like I was a kid, she was just trying to help me. This whole thing was new for me so it wasn't like I didn't need someone to tell me that. It made perfect sense and I never would have thought about it if she hadn't explained it to me like that.

"And honestly," she continued. "He isn't even worth your breath or your time."

"So it's never going to end, will it?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"If I have a girlfriend, there's always going to be people like that? Everywhere?"

"Unfortunately, yes. The idiots of the world will always make rude and stupid comments."

"How do you deal with it?"

"Well, like these situations, I don't say anything and I try to not let it bother me. In other situations, when I know that it's safer, I'll speak out. Just know that there's so much more in the world and people who are so much better than them. Stand up for yourself and don't let people trod over you like you're nothing because you're not. You're everything."

My heart melted over every word she said. "Kiss me."

"What?" She asked.

"Please. Just kiss me."

She reached over and lightly grabbed the back of neck and pulled me in for a passionate kiss. She parted her lips and let my tongue explore her mouth. After what didn't seem like long enough, she pulled away. "We should probably get going, there's still an hour drive left and I need to get you home so your parents don't think I kidnapped you!"

"Well, that would be one dream come true," I said with a smirk.

She started to drive off and back onto the highway.

"Hey Britt?"

"Yeah?"

"Valentine's Day is really soon." The state meet always fell around Valentine's Day. This year, the meet was earlier than usually and V-Day was literally in a week and we hadn't talked about it at all.

"I know. I, uh, I have to work on Valentine's Day," she admits.

"What about that weekend?"

She shook her head.

"Well, then I have just a little something planned. Just so we can spend some time together."

"No gifts?"

"No gifts," I confirm. "And for real this time."

She chuckled. "Okay."

"I just want to be with you, we haven't been able to just _be_ in such a long time."

She nodded in agreement. "I would love to just _be_ with you for Valentine's Day."

I squeezed her hand and kissed it.

"So tell me, Santana; on average, how many naked girls do you see at a swim meet?"

I laughed and thought about that. "Depends on the meet. Like the smaller high school meets, no one usually. But at bigger high school meets like this or summer meets, a ton. They just…unwrap themselves in the locker room. They have no shame."

"And how many girls see you naked?"

"Zero," I grinned. "And I don't even have to go to a stall or shower; I'm a pro at hiding behind my towel."

"Alright that's good. I want to be the only one who sees your boobs. Wait! Do you look at the naked girls?"

I shook my head. "Not anymore. I used to and I had to like make myself look away. I thought I was, like, comparing bodies but now I realize that that's probably not the case. You know, I should have known I was gay a whole long time ago."

She laughed.

"But no, Brittany. I don't look at the other girls anymore. Well, except for one…"

"Oh! Please tell me more about this girl!" She said with mock intrigue.

The rest of the car ride was nice; time just seemed to pass so quick when we talk. We rolled up to our driveway and I saw that the rest of the family had already pulled up. It was pretty late. Before I got out, I turned again to Brittany.

"Brittany, I just want to thank you again for coming to see me swim. I know you probably had a million other things to do but I am so glad that you made it. It literally means the world to me that you were there."

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world. My parents were happy to see me, as well, well kind of. My mom and I didn't get into a fight this time..."

Brittany and her mom had a strained relationship. She would have preferred that Brittany would have chose a different career path than teaching, preferably one with a higher salary.

I smiled sympathetically and started to get out of the car.

"Wait, not so fast, superstar." She motioned me to close the door. I did. "I was pretty sure I would have a state champion girlfriend by this time so I made the executive decision of getting a little something for you. It's not much but.. you deserve it."

She reached across me into the glove compartment of the car. She handed me a small jewelry box. I opened it up and saw a gorgeous silver necklace. It was thin and simple. There were two charms on it. One was a silver goggle charm and the other was a little metal plate with a "#1" and my initials on the back of the plate. It was a gorgeous necklace.

I smiled incredibly wide. "You didn't have to, Brittany. It's beautiful. I lo—I love it.. Thank you so much." I cupped her cheek and kissed her. In the back of my mind, I swear I was about to say _those three words._

"Alright," she grins through the kiss. "You better get inside. You've had the longest day ever. I hope you get plenty of rest tomorrow. I'll see you later on next week?"

"Yes. But I'll call or text you soon. Have a good night, beautiful."

"You too, champ."

I pecked her on the lips one last time and floated inside.

* * *

**I'm sorry this update took a little longer than usual. This is my favorite chapter so far and I just wanted it to be out on my birthday! :) **

**Thanks for reading!**


	10. Chapter X

The whole next week of school, I was flocked by people congratulating me. A party was even held in honor of the swimming and diving teams, complete with cake! In all honesty though, it was Quinn and I who filled people's mouths throughout the whole town. We received a nice front-page headline on the local newspaper. We even made a small national headline talking about the remarkable tie in our backstroke race and a mention in some of the most prominent swimming news websites and blogs. I soaked up all the camaraderie. I loved all the attention and I didn't think there was anything wrong with enjoying something that I've worked so hard for. It was nice that the whole town was nice that he whole town was talking about swimming instead of football.

People were literally stopping me at the store or the gym and asking if I was Santana Lopez. It was great and I was able to talk to everyone about my experience and about swimming. It felt even better wearing a reminder of that amazing day around my neck with the necklace that Brittany got me. I swear, every time I looked at it, it was even more beautiful, exactly like every time I looked at Brittany.

I decided to take two weeks off from swimming before I started back up with the club team and Coach Langley to prepare for the summer long-course season. I'd lose a little bit of stamina but I knew that there were certain things you had to do for yourself and this was one of them. Once I got back though, I'd be better than ever.

* * *

The Friday after Valentine's Day, Brittany and I had our low-key V-Day date. Although we decided on no gifts, I did get her some flowers, I couldn't help it. She deserves them and I know she actually really likes flowers. After a lovely dinner, we went back to my house. Ellie was out at a party and my parents were at the hospital's Valentine's Day party and wouldn't be home until pretty late. We snuggled on the couch and watched the movie _Valentine's Da_y but really, we just made fun of how ridiculous it was.

After the movie was over, we went up to my room. Even though we had the whole house to ourselves, I wanted to go to my room. I wanted to be close to her, to be private. I pulled her close and pressed my body against her and I felt our lips connect. I pushed her back and onto my bed. I gently laid down on top of her and continued to kiss her. I made my way down and kissed her neck as she moaned. I took my hand and caressed her breast. Before I knew it, we were both topless and I was feeling extremely turned on and hot. I wanted so much to be able to give her everything. I knew my body was ready, I could feel it but I still couldn't. My mind told me to wait. Brittany flipped me on my back and made a trail of kisses down my neck and towards my belly.

"Brittany?" I ran a hand over her soft hair. "I'm sorry. I can't."

She stopped and laid down next to me. I laced my fingers through hers and put my other hand on her torso. I traced patterns of nothingness on her bare stomach.

I started to talk again, "I realize how selfish I'm being and I want to with you, I really do. I just want to be able to give you everything and I can't do that right now."

"Don't be sorry. You're not being selfish. I want you to be comfortable. I'll would wait for you forever. Let's just talk."

I smiled at her. "Hmmm, tell me something I don't already know about you."

She thought for several seconds before saying, "I had an eating disorder in high school."

My eyes widened in surprise. Brittany is absolutely beautiful and her body is like a work of art. Eating was never an issue for her, at least not when I'm with her. She's health conscious but she's never overbearing or obsessive about it.

She continued on, "It wasn't a full blown one that landed me in the hospital or anything but it would have if I stayed down the track I was going. It only lasted a few months but it was some of the darkest months of my life. It was after I came out and I was struggling with all of that while battling my dance teacher who continually told me that I wasn't as skinny as I used to be and I needed to lose weight if I wanted to go anywhere in dance. So, I started reducing my caloric intake. People noticed, but I blew them off. I was exhausted and one day, I was fighting with my dad about nothing at all. He asked me, 'Britty, what is really wrong?' All I could do was start crying and said, 'Dad, I have an eating disorder and I need help.' So I started to see an eating disorder counselor and I started to get my life back on track. I gradually started to eat more and I switched dance studios. Slowly, I was able to get my life back on track. I gained back the weight I had lost and I ended up becoming an even better dancer."

I touched her cheek to steer a tear away. She held my hand on her face. "I-I'm speechless. I'm so sorry Brittany."

"No, don't be. Everything happens for a reason. This happened so I could go out and help other people. There was this girl a year ago that was hiding an eating disorder and I recognized it and we were able to get her help."

"That is absolutely amazing. You are so inspiring." I thought for just a second, letting a wave of curiosity fall over me. "What was the hardest part of the whole thing? If you don't mind me asking."

"Oh, no. Not at all. The hardest part was looking at my dad's face when I told him. He was heartbroken but at the same time, he was determined to make me better and that's what he did, they both did. I knew that they knew it wasn't their fault but it was still in my mind that they might have felt that way and that was the last thing I wanted them to feel."

"Wait, when I first started falling for you, it was when I thought you were so pretty when I came in with my essay. And it was about eating disorders."

She smiled. "Yeah, it was. And it was very good. Spot on. It actually kind of intrigued me."

"I'm so sorry, if I knew, I never would have…"

"No," she waves me off. "There would have been no way for you to know. And it's kind of like being out. It's something you have to come to terms with. It was a dark part of my life but I've grown from it and learned so much."

"I cannot believe this. You are so amazing. I only have an ever bigger respect for you."

She smiled and kissed the corner of my mouth and although she'd be okay if I asked more questions, I knew she was done talking about it.

"Have you thought more about what you want to major in?" She asked me.

I shrugged. "Kind of. This is going to sound really freaking dorky but I've really been looking into the engineering field."

She looked at me, intrigued and asked, "Like civil engineering? Like roads and bridges?"

"Oh, no. Not at all. I don't really like physics. I was looking into chemical or biochemical engineering maybe. I absolutely love chemistry, it makes me feel powerful. And biology is kind of cool." I realize what a complete nerd I am sounding like and I backtrack. "I know it's not exactly glamorous and I would totally make fun of anyone else who said they wanted to do it but there's jobs everywhere, even if it's not an actual engineer. And BHU has a really good engineering program."

"So no medicine?"

"No. I don't think I want to be a doctor. I don't have the patience to go through med school and then residency."

"Not even an eye doctor?"

"Oh, hell no. I'm sure it's a very great career and I would not be able to see without them but I can't get past having to say "1 or 2" all day every day. I don't know, maybe law? Does your mom like it?"

Brittany nodded. "She does but she would have a hard time recommending it to anyone. It's really grueling to climb the career ladder for a lawyer. Except, I'm sure with your wits and intelligence, you'd be a great lawyer. Or maybe even Ellie..."

"Ellie is the best arguer I know... She can even beat me and that really baffles me."

She chuckled. "You know, you don't have to have your future planned out yet, I was just wondering. I know you're worried about it but there are juniors in college who are still undeclared. No matter what, I'll always be proud of you."

I smiled and pulled her a little closer to me. Being with Brittany is such a dream. The best feeling in the world is that I have to constantly have to remind myself that she's actually mine.

* * *

The week after the Valentine's day, I was confronted by Kaylie, Chloe's freshman sister who saw Brittany and I kiss, in the hallway next to my locker.

Her voice was shy and quiet. "Hi, Santana. Great job last weekend."

"Chloe didn't do bad either!" I tried to say with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.

"Yeah," she said, brushing off the mention of her sister. "Look, I'm just going to ask you. Are you dating someone?"

I was done hiding, I could do it. It didn't matter anymore. Why should it?

"I sure am," I said, throwing a book into my locker.

"That girl I saw you with at state?"

I close my locker with a bit of force. "Yep."

"Oh, okay. That's cool." She turned to walk away but I could sense that she still wanted to know more, she was just too scared to ask.

So I told her what she wanted to know.

"You know what, Kaylie?" She straightened back around to face me. "It really is cool. I like my girlfriend a lot and I like girls a lot." I wasn't trying to be a bitch or be mean, I was just trying to get my point across without acting like it was the biggest deal in the whole world.

Kaylie didn't say anything, she took a half a step back.

"Oh, but don't worry, you're not my type. And while you're at it, can you just keep this to yourself for now?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

Kaylie ran around with the popular girls in the freshman class and she was an aspiring Cheerio. I knew that telling her not to tell anyone would make her want to tell everyone. If I was her and I knew something like that about a senior, I would be telling all my friends. I suppose this just gave me the extra push to tell my friends before they heard it from freshman.

At lunch, I spotted Colby and Jenna waiting for me. Jenna was twirling her keys in her hand.

"Hey, S. Let's go off campus today. Where do you want to eat?"

"I don't really care. Where's Brooke?"

"She's staying back to finish a chem lab."

"Since when did she care so much about chemistry? Let's go to Subway. I need to talk to you two."

We pulled up to Subway, ordered our sandwiches, and sat down in a little booth.

Colby interrupted our voracious eating. "So Santana, what do you have to tell us?"

I inhaled and closed my eyes for the briefest of seconds. "I'm just going to preface that you two, and Brooke, have been my best friends since forever. Even when I'm a total bitch, you're all still here for me and I really do love you all so much. I don't want our friendship to ever change..."

"Santana, cut to the chase," Colby commanded.

"I'm gay," I blurted. "I like girls."

There. I said it. There was no taking it back. I've never been one to be nervous about what I said. I've never been afraid to say what was on my mind, to say what I thought about anything, or even to just be a bitch. Being so nervous about what two of the people I cared most about would think of me was so new to me.

They both looked at each other and started laughing. I furrowed my brow. Did they think this was a joke? It clearly wasn't.

"It's not a damn joke," I pleaded. "I'm being serious."

Jenna suppressed her laughter. "We know that you like girls. We've known for a long time. Actually, we were placing bets on when you would tell us. I thought you would wait until after graduation. Jenna thought before. And Brooke wasn't really sure..."

"Now Colby has to clean my car!" Jenna excitedly said.

"Damn it! Ellie knew too. Do I just have a giant 'gay' tattooed on my forehead?" I asked, totally surprised.

"No! We knew because you just, I don't know. We just did. Even when you were dating Puck for like two years or whatever, there was just something about you." Colby smiled. "Some of the things you said or did. They were small but after awhile, we kind of caught on."

Jenna took a bite full of sandwich. "And we're totally cool with it, it doesn't change anything at all. At all. I still love you. Maybe if I start experimenting, we can have sex," Jenna joked.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, please Jenna, I'm way too hot for you to handle. But you two are the best. You guys have no idea how nerve wracking these past few months have been."

"I know, you have been. You could have told us," Colby said.

"Well why didn't you tell me that I was gay?"

"Come on Santana. If we would've told you, you would've freaked out. Especially if you hadn't come to terms with it yourself," Colby said.

"I would not have... okay, you're right." I admit.

"We're here for you now, if you need to talk."

Jenna nodded and said, "Have you told your parents yet?"

I told them the whole story and they listened intently. The lunch period was about to end so we piled into Colby's car.

While Jenna backed out of the lot she said, "Who's the lucky girl?"

I grinned. I underestimated them way too much. Or maybe I just wasn't the best at keeping secrets.

"This whole coming out thing isn't a secret anymore but who I'm dating kinda is. Like, I just don't want everyone to know. Can you guys keep a secret?"

"Yes." They said it in unison. It didn't doubt me. I trusted them with my life.

"It's Miss. Pierce. Our, uh, our old English student teacher. Her first name is Brittany."

"OH MY GOSH, Santana! She is hot! I didn't know that she… whoa. Props to you, girl."

I snorted a laugh. "She is absolutely beautiful, inside and out. I really like her. And we're really good together. She's unlike any other relationship I've had. She's making me soft!"

"Aw! That is totally so cute! No wonder she was sitting with your family at state! I presume they like her?"

"Ellie absolutely loves her. My parents, after getting over the whole shock of it, they ended up really liking her, as well. She's so damn charming, they had to like her."

"Were you dating while she was our teacher?" Jenna asked curiously.

I bashfully smiled. "...We couldn't help it!"

Jenna's jaw dropped as they stared at me, incredulous. Colby eyed me from the drivers seat and grinned.

She broke the silence, "Well, if it's any consolation to you two, I couldn't tell. Except it does explain why you were always so excited to go to English."

I just smiled. Getting this off my chest made me feel a million times lighter. I never really knew how big this was until I started to feel the weight of it finally come off.

We pulled back into school and I was really happy. I told them that I didn't care who knew about it. I knew that not everyone would be as easygoing as Colby and Brooke but I listened to the little Brittany voice in my head that told me they weren't worth it.

When I told Brooke, later on that night when she came over to study, she was being her curious self, never shy about sexuality. It didn't help that Jenna and I were never shy about sex itself, we always talk about it, share stories. Not in a weird perverted way, just as two close friends. That being said, I should have anticipated when she asked, "Is she good in bed?"

"It's funny how you care more about my sex life than the fact that I've come to terms with myself and my sexual orientation," I simply said.

"No, that's great and I'm happy for you but like Colbs and Jenna said, we already knew," she said with a grin. "But you're avoiding the question Santana."

Instead of answering I just shrugged.

"Come on, Santana. We've told each other _everything_. I know you have lots to share about it."

"You may think you know everything about my sex life, Brooke... but maybe I just never told you some things." She does know everything but I was still trying to avoid the question.

"Oh, I know I know everything. Come on, you don't have to go into detail, just tell me what it's like," she persisted.

"We haven't yet!" I finally blurted out.

Her mouth dropped in shock. "Wait, what? You've been together how long?"

"Like half a year," I shyly replied. "But come on, there's couples who stay together for years before they have sex. And sex isn't everything."

"Yeah but those are rare. And you're Santana Lopez. You're not some slut but you and Puck had sex way sooner than half a year! I know that if I was gay and I had a hot little girlfriend like her, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off her."

"Don't worry, I don't keep my hands off of her, nor does she. We just aren't at that next step in our relationship."

"So you just fool around and then when it gets too hot you... Take a cold shower?"

I shrugged. "Something like that. It's not her though, it's me. She wants to but I'm not ready. I don't know. I care so much about Brittany and our relationship, I don't want it to be another stupid boyfriend."

"And she's cool with that? With waiting?"

"Yeah, she told me she would wait forever for me. It's honestly the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"Wait, so you like her a lot? Or you love her?" Brooke asked cautiously.

I smirked. "You know, there's been a few times where 'I love you' almost slipped out. I...I'm definitely falling in love, we'll leave it at that."

She just smiled widely.

* * *

Of course, I told Brittany all about it and she was more than happy for me.

"I always liked those girls."

"Brooke and Jenna said you were hot, by the way."

Brittany brushed fake dust off of her shoulder. "Can't say that I disagree."

"So cocky. And they all miss you."

"We'll all have to go out sometime."

"Okay, just as long as you don't fall for one of them instead of me."

"That would never happen." Then she planted a sweet kiss on my lips. "Well, you know. I never thought that I'd be dating a high schooler after I had already graduated college so... Never say never."

"Okay, Justin Beiber," I said. "Wait, you don't really think of me as just a high schooler, do you?"

She shook her head. "Not really. More like a mature middle schooler."

I chuckled. "You're not funny."

"I think you think I am." She winked. "So, as you know, Santana. My birthday is coming up.."

"In like a month." I laughed. "Are you one of those people who start celebrating their birthday weeks ahead?"

"Oh, look who's funny now!" She said sarcastically. "I'm bringing it up early for an important reason. See, my birthday is during your spring break. And you know that during breaks, the studio usually closes. So… I'm going to Canton for a couple days to see my parents and my brother on my birthday. And I want you to come. With me. To meet them."

I contemplated what she had just asked me for a few moments. Staying with her at her parent's house. Three hours away? Would my parents even agree to it? I wanted to meet her family badly.

"Well, what do you say? It would be like the best birthday present ever."

I smiled at her. "I would absolutely love to. I'll ask my parents as soon as possible."

* * *

"Absolutely not." My mom's words stung. It was a morning before school.

"Why!? I thought you loved Brittany!"

"I do, I adore your girlfriend but you're not going almost three hours away to stay with people I don't even know."

"Your mother has a point, Santana." My father was just sitting at the table reading the paper on his iPad. I think that if I had asked him alone, he would have agreed. He always talks about Brittany now, it's comical really.

"You don't understand. This is a serious thing. I'm serious about Brittany. It's her birthday. I want to meet her family. She's met you two. I'm an adult, I should be able to make these decisions on my own."

"You're still living under our roof. And Santana, what if things don't go well? Then what will you do? You'll have nowhere to go."

"You know just as well as I do that Brittany would not let that happen. Even if things do go wrong, you know that Brittany will take care of me. She'd jump through fire for me."

"But what if she doesn't, Santana? This is her _familia_. She's known them a lot longer than she's known you."

That really hurt. It was almost as if she thought that Brittany wasn't serious about this, that we weren't serious about it. Like this was some kind of fling.

"Can you just trust her? Trust me?"

"Santana, I can't handle this right now. I need to think about this and I need to leave. Jorge, I'll see you in a little."

With that, my mom took off.

I moped around to the table next to my dad.

"Papi?"

"Yes, honey?"

"You'd let me go, wouldn't you?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes, when I was trying to scrape by in medical school in Mexico back in the day, I'd do odd jobs for people who were a lot sketchier than the Pierce's could ever be. I'd do some really strange things there too and saw a lot of things I wish I could erase. Have you ever seen a chicken eat a dog? Anyway, you just do what you have to do. Experiences breed character, no matter how bad the experience is. And look at all the character I have today!" He flashed a cocky grin. "So, staying with the Pierce's would easily be a step up, I'd let you go."

I laughed. Honestly, half of the things that my dad says don't make sense and I'm not even sure if half of his stories were true.

"Santana, I'll talk to your mother. I like Brittany and you're right, she's one of a kind and very genuine. But next time, try looking at it from your mother's standpoint. It's scary sending your little girl out into the world."

My dad got up and kissed me on the top of the head before he left for the day.

* * *

At lunch, I felt like everyone's eyes were on me. By now, almost everyone knew my "secret." I had told enough people myself that it had already filtered throughout the whole school. All of the talk about swimming was gone, now it was all about Santana Lopez being a lesbian. Strangely, I still felt lighter, happier.

During this transition time, I tried to stay pretty low key and fly under the radar, not to draw attention to myself. When people would give me shit about it, I found the best way to counter them was to let my other self, Snixx, out of the cage or ignore them, like Brittany said. One day at lunch, I went to my locker to change out my books. Puck and some other jocks were standing nearby.

"Hey, Puckerman. How long did you date Santana until she decided to become a dyke?" I ignored the voice and shook my head.

"Dude, just shut up," Puck said. I think he was getting a lot of crap for it from his friends. I felt bad but there's nothing I could have done to prevent it.

"No dude, just watch this."

I saw him in my peripheral vision walking towards me. It was that puck-head Rick "The Stick" Nelson.

He leaned his arm on the locker beside me.

"Hey, Santana. You're looking hot as always in this pretty sweater dress and these boots that definitely work what you've got." He looked me up and down. "Congratulations on the swimming."

"Well thanks, Rick," I mocked graciousness and rolled my eyes. "Someone at this school needs to be winning. God knows the hockey team isn't."

"Ouch. Considering that I'm going to Ohio State to play hockey, I think we're doing alright."

"Oh, Ohio State! Hot damn! Did you know that I'm going to Brooklyn-Hale to swim? It's ranked right behind Cal Berkeley as one of the best universities in the United States and it's number 1 in it's swimming conference. But Ohio State, what is their acceptance rate? Like 100%?" It was more like 60% but I doubt that Rick even knew what an acceptance rate was. "And just for kicks, what was the ice hockey record for Ohio State last year?"

He ignored me. "So, tell me... I don't understand why you don't like dick anymore. Is it all the swimming and being around all the naked girls? Or was it Puckerman's? Because if it was, I can show you how it really works. I can show you how a real man works and you'll be normal again."

"You're a fucking pig, Rick. It's not like that at all. Maybe if you'd get your hockey stick out of your ass, you would see that."

"It's not like that? Oh, please, enlighten me. Tell me what it's like? Why you prefer a vagina over a penis?"

"You know what? Maybe, just maybe, you think that you should harass me in front of your other stick-heads to overcompensate for your own tiny, baby carrot-sized…"

He cut me off, "Look, just tell me, do you still find guys attractive?"

"Well, of course I do," I said, toying with him. "Especially guys with outdated ginger mullets…"

"Oh really?" He plays along. "So you wouldn't mind coming home with me after school and having a little fun?"

Just then, I saw someone coming up behind Rick. It was Kyle. Kyle and I had talked a few times after that extremely awkward date. Not anything deep but friendly conversation. Kyle tapped him on the shoulder. Rick turned around.

"Oh, hey Kirsch. I'm sure you've heard about Santana. She likes boobs. I was just telling her that I could show her how a real man does it, if you know what I mean."

Kyle said, "No dude, I don't. Shut up." And then it all happened so fast, Kyle wound up his hand and punched Rick square in the face. Kyle wasn't buff, he was ripped but skinny from all the running he did. Rick was just a wannabe-meathead but still bigger than Kyle. I was scared for him; scared that Rick would punch back. I saw Rick clench his fist and then calm down when he realized a crowd was forming. Neither of them wanted to get suspended or in trouble.

Rick put his hands up. "Whatever, man. Have fun defending the freaks your whole life."

Rick walked away back towards the crowd of jocks. I saw Puck catch my eye and give me a brief, sympathetic smile before turning away. Kyle grabbed my elbow and told me to come on a little walk since there was still time left during lunch.

"Thank you Kyle. I was handling it perfectly though, it was all in my control."

He grinned. "I know, I just wanted to put Rick out of his misery. He's a dick. And I'm sorry that there are so many ignorant bigots out there in the world."

"I'm going to have to get used to it," I said with a sigh.

"I know. But you shouldn't. There's no reason that anyone should have to put up with that."

I smiled. He was so kind.

He spoke again, "So, I'm guessing you have a girlfriend?"

I blushed. "How do you know?"

"Remember when we went on a date and it didn't go very well? It would have been a lot of fun but you were reserved because… you're dating someone!" He smiled. "Who's the lucky girl? Is she in here?" He put his hand up like he was saluting and scouted out the quad that we were walking in.

I laughed. "No, she doesn't go here. She's actually not in high school."

"Ohhh, going for those older women! Or younger…."

"Ahh, very funny. No, she's 21. Actually, her birthday is super soon. She just graduated college in December from LU."

"Do I know her?"

Kyle didn't have Hansen for English so I didn't feel the need to explain who she was. If he did have her for English, I probably would have told him, especially after what he just did for me.

"No, probably not. She was a LU Dancing Bean so she danced in some of their games but I don't think you would have paid much attention to that…"

He laughed. "Definitely not. I hate football."

The bell rang.

He asked, "Walk you to class?"

"I'd love that!"

"I don't think I've formally congratulated you on state. Three wins and a third place overall? That's so amazing. I don't know how you did it!" I love how Kyle didn't linger too long on the topic of my sexuality. Rarely does someone talk to me about anything else nowadays.

"Well, thanks. I can't take full credit for the relay win. It was definitely my girls who pulled those off."

"You're a lot nicer than me. When the track guys place in a relay, I take all the credit."

I laughed, he was joking. We got to my class and he put his arm around me.

"Hey, look. If anyone gives you anymore crap, like Rick, just tell me. I'll take care of 'em."

"Thanks, Kyle! You're a sweetheart." I reached up and gave him a hug.

* * *

As I was getting out of practice, Brittany called me.

"Hey, babe," I answered. "I was just about to call you!"

"I think I have telepathy."

I laughed. "So what's up?"

"I have a job interview at Hamilton High in Hamilton, Ohio where, as you know, that glorious Brookly-Hale University calls home."

"You're kidding!" I exclaimed, maybe breaking her eardrum in the process.

"Serious as a heart attack! It's next week. It looks promising. The English teacher was fired mid semester because of years of tax fraud so I suppose anyone would be better than that.."

"Wow, Brittany. That's absolutely great!" We hadn't explicitly talked about plans after the year ended. She knew I was going to go to college, I knew she would find a teaching position. We hadn't talked about our future together either, we were just playing it by ear. I guess we both felt like it may have been too soon to talk about it. "I hope it goes well. When is it?"

"In a few weeks! I just drive down and then we'll see!"

"Well, good luck. They'll love you!"

I could sense her blushing through the phone. "So why were you going to call me, Santana?"

"Oh! I asked my parents about going to Canton and I think I'll just charm them into letting me go, maybe I'll clean out their closet of all their frigid work clothes." I shuddered at the thought of some of their horribly outdated clothing. "My dad's on board but my mom is a little apprehensive."

"Okay. Why doesn't your mom want you to go?"

"She's just a little protective. She doesn't want anything to happen to her first born daughter," I say with a hint of sarcasm.

"Well, nothing will."

"I know. Don't worry about it. I'll talk to her again and do that closet thing, God knows they need it. Oh, did you ever have Rick Nelson in class?"

"That red-head with the mullet?"

"Yes. He, uh, he basically mocked my sexuality in front of all of his jock friends and you'll never guess who saved the day..."

"Wonder Woman?" She guessed optimistically.

I chuckled. "No. It was that one guy, Kyle."

"Oh! The one that you cheated on me with? I mean, the guy that you went out with?"

I chuckled again. "Yeah, him. He punched Rick."

"Wow! I never liked Rick, he didn't know how to write an essay that wasn't about hockey and even those weren't good! Is Kyle in trouble?"

"No, I don't think so. He just walked away."

"Well, Rick probably deserved that! See, I knew people would have your back. Oh, I gotta hit the studio. I'll talk to you tonight."

"Alright, bye Britt."

* * *

The next week, my mom knocked on my door late at night while I was finishing up homework. I told her to come in.

She sat down on my desk chair. I never used my desk for homework, I always did homework on my bed; there's more room.

"Have you seen my favorite green shirt?" She finally said after rifling through an assortment of graded or unfinished assignments strewn across my desk.

"That puke green one with the ruffles?" I asked, looking up from my calculus textbook. She had a look of confusion on her face, she rarely lost track of clothes and laundry, she was always pretty on top of it.

Except, I knew something she didn't. I did look through my parent's closets like I told Brittany I would. Granted, I was a little apprehensive at first. I didn't want to find something that I wouldn't want my own future kids finding of mine. Luckily, if they had anything like that, they hid it somewhere better. I probably purged their closets of anything that was likely not made in this century. My dad's polyester suit was the first thing to go. The thrift shop was happy to take such a generous donation!

"It's _forest_ green and yes," she said, still with the same confused and dazed expression. "And dad was looking for his favorite tie and he couldn't find it either! I just feel like we don't have half of our clothes!"

My dad's favorite tie was this God-awful black and white paisley tie. He probably wore it at least twice a week, although I had given him a million nicer ties as a hint to retire the paisley but he never did. He claimed the black and white color matched every shirt. It matched none.

"That's because you don't," I said under my breath.

"What?" She asked.

"Oh, nothing. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise," I bull-shited, chewing on my pencil eraser. "The universe is trying to tell you that it's time for a clothing cleanse by hiding all of your clothes. You and dad! Umm, maybe we can go shopping sometime?"

"Okay," she said, still frazzled over her 'missing' clothes.

I shrugged and half smiled. I went back to looking at the grueling integral that I'd been trying to solve for the past 20 minutes. I finally figured out what I had been doing wrong and solved it before realizing that my mom hadn't left my room yet.

"Ma?" I asked. She was looking thoughtfully at nothing in particular.

"I'm going to let you go with Brittany to meet her family," she finally said.

I flashed a wide smile of disbelief. "You are?!"

"On one condition."

"Anything, Ma."

"I don't want to sound like one of _those_ parents, but I want you to text me when you get there, when you leave, and if anything happens. I'll abandon the hospital and come get you."

"Mom, I will be fine. I promise. But I will. Definitely."

"I know." She smiled.

"I don't want to change your mind again but why did you change your mind?"

"Your father. He told me to put myself in your shoes." I laughed to myself, what a sly fox giving the same advice to both me and her. "And it is Brittany's birthday. How old is she turning again?"

"22."

"Should we be getting her something? Is it our place?"

"Um, if you think you should. I know she doesn't expect anything, even from me. You know? She's just very gracious. How about, if you see something that you think she would absolutely love, get it but don't actively go out and try to find something. Does that make sense?"

"Perfect sense. Have you got her something?"

"I have my eye on a few things. I'm not sure yet. There's these earrings…"

"I'm sure a great part about dating a girl is knowing that whatever they get you won't be ugly."

I laughed, I had seen some of the jewelry my father has given her. Some is great but others… not so much.

"Yeah, among other things. Well, I better finish these integrals and I have some lab calculations to do plus, I know Langley is giving us a killer sprint set tomorrow."

"I love you, Santana. And I'm so proud of you."

"Well, thanks. I couldn't have done it without you. I love you too, Ma."

She kissed my forehead and left my room.

* * *

"What are you getting her for her birthday?" Ellie asked during a lonely weekday dinner.

"There's these gorgeous earrings that I saw when I passed by that jewelry shop on the strip next to Breadstix. And maybe something else, I'm not sure yet."

"Santana, that's so sweet. All I got Bryan for was a jacket and some chocolate. You're definitely superior in the romance department."

"Ellie…" I trailed off, consumed by my thoughts.

"Mhmm?" She questioned me.

"I love her."

She arched her eyebrows. "You do?"

"Yes, I'm certain. I've known since right after state."

"And you're sure? Didn't you 'love' Puck too?"

I shrugged. "Um, I'm not sure. I loved him but I wasn't in love with him, at least, I don't think so. I'm still kind of foggy on that relationship. But I know I am in love with Brittany. She's so perfect. Everything about her, even her flaws and quirks."

Ellie covered her mouth with a hand in mock shock. "Brittany Pierce has flaws?!"

I rolled my eyes. "She's stubborn, she rarely lets me pay, and argues with me on the stupidest of things, most of the time just because she wants to see how far she can push me. Like, the other day at the grocery store, I was trying to convince her to save money and buy the generic Lucky Charms in a bag but she wouldn't listen. She says it's not the same and there's more marshmallows in the name brand. And she's all over me, not in a wanky way, if my grammar is bad. God freaking forbid that I say "that" when I should have said "which"! But she's just so cute. She's always listening to Britney Spears or Christmas music, she says things and they're always so outrageous but so smart. She's chronically early to most everything. I just… I can't think about her without getting that little beat in my heart where it feels like it swells up for just a half a second." I paused to make sure Ellie was still listening to my rambling. "Do you know what I mean?"

Ellie gave me the funniest look. "Umm, no." She shrugged. "When are you going to tell her?"

"She's coming over tomorrow night because mom and dad will be gone to that medical conference in Columbus. I'm going to tell her then. You'll be at that party right, then staying at Blair's?"

"Yeah. Is Brittany staying the night?"

"Maybe, we'll see."

"You're still going to Canton to meet her family over spring break?"

"Yeah. I am definitely nervous about that. I'm even staying the night at their house. What if they don't like me?"

"Then they don't like you," she said with a slight half smile. "You're dating Brittany not her family... If they don't like you, it would be their loss."

I laughed. It did make sense but it didn't calm my nerves.

"Do you love Bryan?" I asked.

"No. I never feel my heart swell up like you said. Not yet anyway."

"Does he love you?"

"He tells me he does."

"And you say it back…?"

She sighed. "Yeah. I know it's bad because I know that it's like leading him on but I don't know what else to do. I do love him, almost."

"It's not like you can recant your 'I love you's, Ellie. However, I know that I would much rather they take an 'I love you' with a grain of salt rather than say it back because they feel obligated to."

"Oh, man. I feel so great about myself right now. It's not like I despise him, I'm just not sure. I'm still young, really young."

"Love is love, Ellie, it doesn't matter how old you are."

* * *

Tomorrow night finally rolled around, I was a hot mess of anxiousness and nerves. It had been awhile since we were able to have more than a coffee date and I was really missing her. I ordered take out and she came over early for dinner and we watched a movie. Halfway through though, we both predicted the ending and started talking.

"I think we should talk about something. The elephant in the room." I said, taking her hand.

"There's an elephant in here?!" She looked around the living room. I laughed.

"You're silly. But really. I think we should talk about our future."

"I've been thinking a lot about it, too."

"Look, I…I don't want to put any bias on your job decision just because I'll be at Brooklyn-Hale."

"But you are," she countered.

I gave her a shy smile. "Look, I want you to find a job somewhere that is good for you. Somewhere that offers you the best salary or whatever you need. Or even in Canton so you can be close to your family. But I also want to be with you. I don't want to speak for the both of us but I'm serious about this. About you and me."

"I am, too. I don't want you to worry about hindering my job choice. In the end, it will be my decision but there's always going to be other things that will factor into it. You happen to be one of them. But also, I haven't even had this interview yet and I haven't had any other interviews either."

"You will though," I assured her.

She shrugged. "Maybe. If not, I suppose I'd have to just stay here and work at the studio until I found one. But even if we don't end up in the same place, who says that we won't be able to make it work?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound optimistic. Although, I know that trying to juggle school and swimming with Brittany not being close by would be so hard. I figured if I was ever going to attempt to do that with anyone, it would be Brittany.

I interrupted the silence with a soft, "Brittany?"

"Yes?"

I looked straight into her piercing blue eyes.

"I love you." I said it. This was like coming out; there was no taking this back. When it comes out, it stays out. I couldn't say "Wait, just kidding! I didn't mean it" but I didn't need to. I did love her and I wanted her to know that.

She didn't let go of my hand, she just calmly kissed my cheek and said, "Thank you." I couldn't gage any other reaction from her.

_Crap_. Then I remembered my conversation just a day before with Ellie. Her not reciprocating, it was okay. She knew how I really felt and that's all that mattered.

The rest of the night wasn't awkward or anything. We still talked and kissed. I tried not to let on that I was upset that she didn't say it back. She left an hour later and I went up to my room, and changed out of my sweater dress that I was wearing and changed into a loose v-neck shirt and pajama pants.

About 15 minutes later, I heard the doorbell ring. I debated answering it; it was pretty late and I already under the covers in my bed. I ended up going downstairs after a half a minute of contemplation. I opened the door and saw the silhouette of Brittany, facing away from me, hands deep in her jacket pockets, looking up at the night sky.

* * *

**I mention for the second time that Brittany has a younger brother. I know that canon Brittany actually has a sister that is a lot younger than her. I've realized that this story is just partly canon. I use some of the canon characterization and canon events and story lines but not nearly all since it is an AU. And honestly, I forgot about her little sister but once you meet Matt, you'll agree that he's a lot better than if Brittany had a little sister!**

**Anyway, what do you think?! Thanks a bunch for reading and thanks for the reviews! **


	11. Chapter XI

She turned around as soon as she heard the door and I said a surprised, "Hi."

"You know, you shouldn't answer the door this late at night. I could have been a rapist or a kidnapper," she said.

"I know. But curiosity got the best of me. What's going on?" I asked.

She took a deep breath. We both watched as it appeared in the cold winter air. "Santana… I love your voice. I love the way you talk. I love to hear what your passions and your desires. I love the way you swim. I love the way you rotate your foot when your legs are crossed. I love how you twirl your hair around your finger when you need something from someone. I love your cooking. I love the way you bite your bottom lip when you're confused or want to kiss me. I love the way you drum on surfaces with your fingers when you're nervous or bored. I love the way you make me feel, how you make me feel like I'm the most important girl in the world. I love how you never make me feel stupid. I love your humor and how you can always make me laugh. I love you personality. I love your honesty. I love the way you dance. I love your road rage. I love the way you laugh. I love your smile. I love your eyes. I love your hair. I love the way you sing." She took another deep breath, trying to contain everything she had just said. "And I even love Snixx. I love everything about you; your flaws, strengths, everything. I love you Santana. I love you so much."

I smiled and pulled her in out of the cold and shut the door.

She continued, "I-I didn't say it back awhile ago because I was scared. I knew that once it was said, it would never be taken back. I didn't want our relationship to change because it's perfect the way it is. Now, I realize that I was so stupid―"

I had to interrupt her. "You're not stupid, Brittany. Neither you nor anyone else should ever call you that."

By the sweet smile she expressed, I knew she felt the weight of what I said. Brittany told me about how when she was a lot younger, she struggled with people calling her or the things she did stupid. Honestly, jokes on them because she's doing so great now.

She continued, "When I left, I drove home and turned right back around, kicking myself for just saying 'Thank you.' And I'm not just saying it now because you did. I so in love you, Santana." Then she shyly added, "I have been for awhile." She looked to the ground briefly and then right into my eyes with so much heart and so much emotion. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."

"You don't need to kick yourself, Brittany. All you need to do it kiss me."

Her hands moved in one swift motion to each side of my face as she complied and pressed her lips to mine. This was a kiss unlike any other. Every subtle movement of her lips or tongue was like a bomb of sensation sent through my whole body. All these feelings that were said were being shown through this kiss. It was deep and romantic.

"Come here," I whispered to her, pulling back from the kiss and taking her by the hand.

We moved through the house and upstairs to my room. I put on some quiet music as she took off her coat and shoes. I walked up to her and my whole body connected with hers as I pulled her in close to me. I wouldn't call it dancing, we just moved together to the beat of the song. The only light was a dim lamp and moonlight just peeking through the curtains in the window.

We spun around the room, carelessly moving our feet. I kissed her and gradually moved her backwards to where the back of her legs hit my bed. She gave in and laid down, never breaking our kiss. I straddled her and my lips travelled to her neck. I felt one of her hands stroke my hair and the other playing with the hem of my shirt. She slipped a warm hand underneath, yearning to take it off.

"Is this okay?" She whispered politely, like she always did.

I nodded and wiggled out of my shirt. I was in a loose v-neck and wasn't wearing a bra underneath.

"Oh, no bra? I like," She said, nodding in approval and anticipation.

She leaned forward and kissed my collarbone, sliding her tongue over the outline of the bone. She sat up and pulled off her own shirt and pulled me under her.

"Santana, you are so beautiful," she murmured, looking down at my half naked body.

She ran her hand over my stomach and over my breasts. She stopped and gently squeezed one. I pulled her down and she kissed between my breasts and then all over them. I held her tight, not wanting to ever let go of her. She came back up and kissed me on the lips as I ran my fingers through her soft hair.

I mumbled her name through her kisses. This felt different from any other time, it was deeper. We were more connected. While she continued to kiss me, I worked my hands over her toned back and through the clasp of her bra, to which I easily unclasped. She takes a moment to maneuver her arms through it and throws it down beside her.

Seeing a woman's bare chest in such a romantic, sensual setting, a feeling like no other. They were so full. I always want to touch them; to touch hers. She took one of my wrists in her hand and placed it on one of her breasts with a shy smile. She patiently watched and waited while I stroked her breast.

She pushed our two bare torsos closer together and makes her way back to my lips. I accepted her kisses with an open mouth, encompassing all of Brittany that I could. I felt a shiver through my stomach muscles as she traced a path downward with the tips of her fingers.

I slid one of her bra straps off of her shoulder and it fell in a natural motion to the floor. Brittany continued to touch me all around, sending sensations throughout my whole body. I felt heat between my legs that I'd usually try to ignore though today, it was too prominent to ignore.

I followed her gaze as her eyes scanned downward. She lifted the hem of my pants with one of her fingers.

"Do you want me to stop, sweetheart?" She asked kindly.

"No. I don't." She pulled off my pajama pants. "Take off your jeans."

"Anything for you." She wiggled out of her jeans.

I had never felt so comfortable in such an exposed position. I felt safe, I felt calm, I felt hot, I felt everything; with every touch she gave me, I felt it.

My breathing got heavier as I felt her make her way between my legs. I was embarrassed by how wet I had become. Then I realized that she was the reason I was this wet. There was no reason that I shouldn't want to share this reaction with the person who made me feel this way.

I wanted her more than ever now. This is the night. I knew that we were both ready for this. I loved her and she loved me.

I guided her hand down to the hem of my underwear, urging her to remove them.

"Santana, are you sure?"

"Yes." I said with complete confidence "More than sure. I want you to make love to me."

She pulled them off with both of her hands and I felt her face in between my legs. My panting had become louder and I was making small moans that I had never heard myself make before. I could see my chest rising up and down with every motion she made just in anticipation.

"Brittany— this is all new to me, I don't…"

"It's okay. Just relax and let me take care of it this time. If you want me to stop, just say so," she whispered and placed a few kisses on my inner thighs. That drove me crazy. She grabs one of my hands with hers and places the other hand grasped my hipbone.

Before I knew it, I felt a warm sensation on my center and I knew it was different from the hot wetness already there. It was Brittany's lips, being ever-so-gentle, kissing me in places that I never knew could feel this good. It was different. No one has ever gone down on me before and I wasn't sure what to expect. But my hips did as they rose in reaction to her, wanting her to continue. She did. I felt her tongue all around me, exploring my center and causing me to feel things I've never felt, ever. Her tongue flirted with entering inside of me while Brittany's lips paid careful attention to are surrounding it. She worked me up so hard and right before I felt like I would melt, she took it out. I exhaled deeply, partly in exhaustion and partly in aversion, wishing she had continued. She kissed her way up my stomach, chest, neck, and eventually back to my mouth.

She placed wet, sloppy kisses all around it before swirling her tongue inside my mouth; the same tongue that was just in my most private part of my body. She kissed me deeply and placed both hands gently on my face. I feel one hand come off of my face and shuddered as I felt it run down the side of my body, past my breasts, ribs, stomach, and hips. I trusted Brittany with everything and I wanted her to do whatever she wants to me. I felt her hand stop in between my legs. Her soft fingers gently caressed me there. After paying careful attention around the outside, I feel one of her fingers push inside of me.

It was exciting and it felt good but there was a hint of awkwardness as we were a little bit tangled up in ourselves. I struggled to find a good position for her and I. I wiggled around and we both giggled at the awkwardness of it all until we were completely comfortable.

Her finger was gentle and delicate but forceful all at the same time. She put two more fingers inside of me and kissed my neck while she thrust them deeper inside of me. First she goes slowly, making sure she doesn't hurt me, and then with a deep look into my eyes, I nod. She starts to go inside deeper, moving her fingers in sporadic movements that made me breathless. I felt like she knew every part of me perfectly. I didn't want her to stop. I ran my fingers through her hair and gently dug my nails into her back as she made love to me.

"Britt—" I moaned. She enters me one last time, so strong and guided. I hold on to her with everything because I'm about to crumble. She finishes me out and a burst of pleasure erupts through my brain causing me to moan loudly. And she is the first person to ever make me come. Never has anyone made me feel like that, not even my own self. She hold her hand stead, making gentle, delicate strokes as I come down from my high. Then she holds me with the other arm while I fall into her.

She sat up, straddling my body and puts the tips of her fingers in her mouth, sucking on them with a bashful smile. If I hadn't already been past the precipice, that would have put me over.

I relax and close my eyes for a few seconds. I feel her kiss my cheek with such grace and ease.

"I love you, Santana." She works her way beside me, holding on to me.

I was unable to talk yet and murmured an inaudible response. I knew she knew what I said though.

When I woke up, only a blanket covered Brittany and I. One of my arms was curled around Brittany's and our feet were tangled in each other. I moved softly, so not to wake her, and gazed at her. I placed a piece of fallen hair aside, behind her ear. She stirred and slowly opened her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Santana, you don't ever have to apologize for me waking up next to you. Ever."

I smiled and put my thumb on her cheek and gently stroked it, feeling her soft skin.

I glanced at the clock, it was mid-morning. My parents would be home in a few hours but Ellie would probably be home anytime. We got up, brushed our teeth, and got dressed. I made breakfast for her because I knew that she can't make anything but eggs and cereal for breakfast and I'm sure she was tired of it so I treated her to fruity crepes.

"Brittany, last night, was I okay?" I asked from behind the stove.

"You were wonderful."

"I feel like you didn't…" I trailed off.

"No, I did. Seeing someone I love and adore getting so much pleasure from an ordinary girl like me is more than enough. And you're body, it's like a work of art. It's out of this world. Every muscle, every inch of skin, is just perfect." Then she added, "Besides, we have many more times to do whatever we want," with a wink.

I blushed and kissed her.

We sat down and started eating. We talked a little more about last night and did gross couple things like feed each other bites of food.

"You missed my mouth!" She exclaimed when I intentionally got fruit all over her cheek.

"Oops, total accident," I said, kissing her cheek to wipe off the strawberry remains.

I heard the door open and Ellie's footsteps coming down the hallway.

"Santana, you'll never believe who hooked up at the party last night!" Quinn noticed Brittany as soon as she actually stepped in the room. "Oh, hey Brittany."

I laughed because Ellie didn't think twice about greeting Brittany or acting any different around her. I really didn't care who hooked up, it was probably just some sophomores but I knew Ellie would want to spill details so I humored her, "Who, Ellie?"

"Blake Harding and…Wait, there's something different about you two." She narrowed her eyes and took a really good look at us. "Did you…? Noo! Last night? Oh. My. Gosh! I'm so… um, I'm so happy for you guys?"

"Well, this is hella embarrassing. These are the downfalls of being close to your sister. I'm sorry Brittany."

Brittany blushed. "Good morning to you too, Ellie! Would you like some breakfast?"

Ellie helped herself to some of the crepes and sat down with us.

"Sorry to make things sufficiently awkward. It's just hard not to notice when both of you won't stop smiling and don't act like I can't see your feet, all snuggled up underneath the table. It's sickening how cute it is, really sickening."

We both laughed. Brittany left a while later for a rehearsal at her studio. I followed her out and she reassured me that everything was fine and that it was great. She gave me the best goodbye kiss and told me she loved me. I told her back, with complete confidence.

I walked back into the house and saw Ellie scurrying back to the kitchen.

"Were you spying on us?!" I jokingly yelled down the hallway.

I reached the kitchen where she was sitting at the table, slightly breathless. "Umm, no. Okay, yes."

I grimaced.

She ignored it. "So you guys love each other?! Tell me about last night? But I mean, you don't have to tell me details. Not like all the details. Some?"

"Oh, yeah. I've always wanted to talk about my sex life with my sister."

"So you did have sex! What was it like?"

I shrugged before spilling everything out. "It was absolutely beautiful. It was more than perfect because of the fact that everything wasn't exactly perfect. Does that make sense?" I don't wait for her reply before continuing, "When I told her I loved her, she didn't say it back at first. Then she left and came back and professed her love for me. And then it just happened. It wasn't planned but it was the perfect time."

"I'm happy for you, Santana. I really am. So it was like really good? Like better than anyone else you've been with?"

"Yeah basically. And I assume it's going to get even better," I said with a grin.

"Oh, so now you are going to get down a lot?"

"I swear, Ellie… you just… there's no filter." I laughed. "It was really great but I don't think either of us wants it to be just physical. I mean obviously it'll happen again but I don't know how frequent. I'm not a good predictor of the future anyway."

"I'm so happy for you, Santana. It seems like everything is working out so great for you two."

Her mood suddenly changed. My usually bubbly sister changed into a dejected, sad sister.

"Ellie, what's wrong?"

"Bryan wants to have sex."

I felt angered. I didn't want my little sister to have sex, she was too young. Way too young. But I being selfish. My first time was earlier than the age she is now and I had just shared with Ellie my own sexual experience while she was struggling with hers.

"Do you want to? Is he pushing you? Ellie, is he pushing you to have sex? Because I will personally—"

"No, no, Santana," she interrupted. "He's still really nice and all. But, remember when he came over for dinner the other night?"

"Yeah."

"When we were in my room fooling around afterwards. Suddenly, it turned into something more and he started to unbuckle his belt. I stopped him, of course. I told him I wasn't ready. He said he understood and would wait. But then yesterday at the party, he was drinking and was telling Blair how much he loves me and wanted to share something so special with me. He wanted us to lose our virginities together. Santana, I don't want to. Not yet at least, I'm so young. But I don't want to break up with him. I love him." Ellie was near tears by now.

"So you do love him?"

"Yes."

I took her hand in mine. "If he really loves you, Ellie, he's not going to push you to have sex. He'll wait like a gentleman. If he's going to push you into sex, he's sure the hell not worth it. And let me tell you this: do not have sex with this boy if you feel uncomfortable. It will be something you will never be able to take back and it's not worth it."

I let her fall into my arms in a hug. "I don't know what I'd do without a sister like you."

I pulled her in close to me, stroked her hair, and wiped the tears off her face. "Me either. You're pretty great, Ellie. Any person is blessed to be able to know you; you're such a great girl."

She hugged me tighter and her tears eventually disappeared.

* * *

On a casually Saturday morning a few weeks later, I got a call from Kate Buckner, my student-athlete host from BHU. Kate was a very good swimmer and she was just a sophomore.

The NCAA Division I national championships, what's usually just called "NCAA's", was just this past week. It's arguably the most exciting meet on U.S turf, with the exception of the Olympic Trials. Kate made quite a mark, landing herself in the consolation finals of the 200 IM and the finals of the 100 fly, 200 fly, and two of BHU's relays. I think she actually placed in the top three in one of them. There was no doubt in my mind that she could have a national championship by the end of her career.

Aside from her talents in the pool, I adored her. She was fun to be around. She's funny and one of the least fake people I knew. She told it like it was and didn't let anyone step on her. When we first met, I had an instant friendship with her, probably because we're really similar in our bitchiness. But she really is a great person and she may or may not have been one of my deciding factors for choosing BHU last November. We talk all the time, sometimes I'll call her up or text her about swimming or whatever else. She's just a cool girl and someone who I looked up to but she didn't know I was gay. No one on that team did. Not yet, at least.

"Hey, Santana! What is your lazy ass doing today?" A typical greeting from Kate.

_Eh, maybe my girlfriend._ I decided against saying that and jut settled for a, "Pshh, more than your own ass. I just had a 7K killer of a practice this morning. I'm actually doing homework right now, trying to catch up. I'll probably go to a movie later on tonight or something but what's up?"

"Well, I'm currently en route to Ann Arbor. I'm going back home for the weekend because my little brother is the lead in the high school play. Apparently it's the cat's pajamas and my parents really regret missing NCAA's. So I say that you ditch the homework and come see me."

"Oh my gosh! Of course! When will you be in Lima?" Kate always called when she was going back home since Lima is literally right on the way. We'd try to grab a meal or something but with both of our schedules, I hadn't seen her since Thanksgiving.

"In just about an hour. Can you catch lunch?"

"Who threw it?" I slyly replied. It was such a Brittany thing to say, she was rubbing off on me. I heard Kate burst into a fit of laughter over the phone. I continued, "I wouldn't miss it. How's Breadstix? They do have unlimited breadsticks…"

"Well, I could never turn breadsticks down! I'll call you back when I get a little closer. Can't wait to see you!"

"Well of course you can't!" I said and then added, "Me either!"

About hour later, I'm standing in the entrance of Breadstix waiting for Kate. A big smile spreads across my face as I see Kate walking to towards me. Admittedly, Kate is super hot and attractive. Her body is almost a carbon copy of Brittany's, just a bit more muscular. She's has dark brown that fell flawlessly in subtle waves, framing her oval face and dark eyes.

Even if I wasn't absolutely head over heels for Brittany, I would never develop more-than-friends feelings for Kate. She's straight and has a boyfriend and even if she didn't, we're too similar to be romantically compatible. I think we were best as good friends.

"Santana!" She exclaimed giving me a hug. "You look great!"

"You do too!"

After figuring out something to order, Kate bit into a breadstick and said, "I still can't believe that you and Quinn Fabray tied for a state championship. That's so fucking unbelievable. Do you realize that that will probably never happen again?"

I smiled and nodded. We chatted about swimming while we waited for our food and throughout the meal. Apparently Coach Carmichael, the head coach at BHU, could not stop talking about the backstroke tie between Quinn and I. And Kate pointed out that my 200 free time at state would have put me fifth at the NCAA's, which I didn't know and was crazy to think about.

"You didn't know that?"

"No," I said, still shocked. "I haven't had time to look over the results, I just read the news headlines for BHU. But are you sure? That sounds outrageous."

"I'm sure, Coach Car checked several times."

I looked at her skeptically and pulled out my phone. After a few touches of the screen, I brought up the championship results. Sure enough, my 200 free time would have settled in nicely right between the fifth and sixth places.

"Wow, that's... That's great." I locked my phone and putting it aside. "But you know, some swimmers hit their peak in high school."

Kate argued, "But you won't be one of them."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I don't. But I do know that you will work your ass off harder than anyone. You don't give two shits that you've already basically qualified for next year's NCAA's because you're always looking to get better. You don't settle. You could be one of those rare freshman winners."

I smiled. This is why Kate is so great, she gave me confidence in so many different ways. "You're right. I honestly think I have a lot of untapped potential. Langley and Roz are amazing coaches but we don't have the swimmers to push us hard enough. We just have each other to push us. It'll be awesome to swim with all these faster girls and your butterflying ass."

"And what a treat that will be!" Kate said with a wink.

I grinned back at her.

"You know, I'm really glad Quinn chose Tennessee." Kate pushed her nearly empty plate away from her and pouted, "God, I am so full that I'm miserable!"

I empathetically nodded. "It's the damn Breadstix trap. Why are you happy she chose Tennessee?"

She shrugged. "She'll just fit in well with the team there. And I know when she came to visit BHU, she would unintentionally compare BHU to different aspects about Tennessee; like the coach and the facilities. Plus, you've been around her for so many years, it's time for a fresh start with a new team; the best team."

"Of course. I wouldn't have chosen anywhere else!"

Kate and I talked a little more about BHU itself and life before she looked at her watch. "Aw, I better get back on the road. They're expecting me soon." She fished out some cash and put it on the table as I did the same.

"Aww, okay. Well it was great seeing you!"

"You too!" I knew Kate really didn't want to leave because she wasn't making any effort to gather her stuff. "Which movie are you seeing?"

"What?"

"You said you were going to a movie later on today..."

"Oh! Yeah, I don't know. Whatever Britt wants to see."

"Who's Britt?"

I blushed. Brittany's name just rolls off my tongue so often. I can't help it. "Oh, uh, Brittany. She's my girlfriend," I said regaining confidence on the last sentence.

"Girlfriend, huh?"

"Yup."

She shrugged. "I like to think I have pretty good gaydar but I didn't see that one. But that's totally cool."

"You think everyone else will think so?"

She nodded. "BHU is extremely gay friendly and all the guys and girls on the swim team are such good people. They honestly won't care. I think there's one or two who are assholes about that and kind of rude but most everyone is pretty great."

I felt a wave of relief "Do you think it's something that Coach Car should know? I was reading something on the internet about coming out to your college coach because it defines the relationship and helps your performance and blah, blah, blah..."

She looked to the side in thought before saying, "Yeah, you should. He's not about trying to get into our personal lives but this is a little different. You know? That gay lacrosse player in California tried to kill himself awhile back because neither the team not the coach was accepting of him. But I know he'll support you 100%."

"I will. Thanks Kate!"

"You're welcome. Okay, I really have to go." She got up and put on her jacket. We walked out to the parking lot.

"Have a good time on your date," she said.

"Thanks, I will. Talk to you soon?"

"Absolutely. Have a great date!" She hugged me and we both parted ways.

* * *

After Kate left, I went back home and changed before picking up Brittany for salads before the movie.

"I need to talk to you." She said, looking down at her nearly full salad.

I knitted my eyebrows together. "What's up, Britt?"

Her eyes darted between mine and the surroundings. "Uh, a few days ago I got a job offer from a school near Canton, it's Massillon, my high school's rival actually.

I tried to hide the sad feelings that washed over me. "Britt! That's so great, I'm so happy for you!"

She pursed her lips together, she knew that I was trying to make the best of the situation.

"It is great and it would be really close to my parents and it's one of the best schools in the country."

I nodded. "Yeah…"

"But I didn't take it."

I widened my eyes at her. "Brittany, why?"

"Because it's almost 4 hours away from Hamilton. That's four hours away from you, Santana." She took my hand and held it. "The thought of being that far away from you… You're going to be practicing 3 or 4 hours a day and the last thing you'll want to do is drive to see me."

"But I would. I'd do anything for you."

"But I wouldn't you to." She leaned back in her chair. "So I guess it's a good thing that yesterday, I got a call and was offered a position at Hamilton High School."

I immediately started smiling and grinning like a little girl. "And…"

"I took the job. They also offered me an assistant coaching position for their competition dance team."

"Please say this isn't a dream, this is real?"

She nodded. "It is so real."

We blabbered on about how great it will be next year when we're together and then I realized that next week, I was about to take another big step in our relationship. I was about to meet her family.

"I'm really nervous about next week," I said.

"Don't be. My parents, they're nice people. But they just.. they have ideals for people and their kind of stubborn. Whatever they say, if it offends you, I'm just going to apologize early. However, don't stress out over it, it'll be fine. My brother is stoked to meet you though."

"I mean, what if they don't like me? Don't like that we're together?"

"If my parents don't like you, it's not going to be because of the type of person you are. It'll stem from some deep insecurity of some washed up view on how things should be. They accept me but they hold everything to a different standard, not necessarily a higher one though."

"Like a double standard?"

"Kinda. My mom is extremely jaded on her views and opinions on things, she meticulously looks at everything from her fogged-over lawyer goggles." I half smiled at the pun. "But you shouldn't have a thing to worry about."

"As long as you still love me, that's all that matters."

"I love you so much."

I tried not to think about it too much about the family and just enjoyed the rest of the dinner. We went out to the movies and realized halfway through the movie that it wasn't nearly worth our time so we moved to the back where no one could see us and made out like middle schoolers.

* * *

"Are you enjoying the party so far!?" Jenna asked me, clearly drunk out of her mind.

She was holding a spring break rager on the first night of break before everyone left to go to the lake or wherever for the week.

"Yeah! It's great," I said holding up my almost untouched Smirnoff. It was a lot of fun, it seemed like our whole grade was packed into her house. Ever since I stopped drinking for swimming though, it was hard to get back into it, especially knowing I probably shouldn't get in the habit.

After messing around with some of the girls and talking to a sober Quinn about the long course season, I walked into her living room to change the music. Honestly, I think they let Rachel Berry choose the tunes for the night and this was not a showtunes type of party. A smelt a familiar cologne walk up behind me.

"Hey, Santana." He was holding a beer in his hand but I could tell by the tone of his voice that he wasn't close to being drunk.

"Hi, Puck."

He held his hand out to the couch and we both sat down before he put his arm around me, in a friendly way. "Congratulations. You and Quinn, you guys are stars."

"Aww, well thank you. I mean it was a team effort..."

"They couldn't have done it without you two though. Anyway, are you still going to BHU?"

"Yup, It's a perfect fit. I love it there too."

"Ahh, that's great. I'm happy for you."

"What about you?"

"I'm actually going to college. It's just Lima Community College but it's college right?"

"Of course, Puck! That's great. An education is an education."

He smiled. "I couldn't have done it without you. Anyway, I've got a question to ask you."

I sighed. "Yeah? Wait, let me guess. 'Did I turn you gay?' 'Was my sex bad?'" I had been used to getting ignorant comments by now. Luckily, I had many people to back me up. It had been an easier process than I had thought. Initially, it was hard but after awhile, it got easier or I just got used to it.

Puck frowned. "No, of course not, Santana. I would never act like those jerks. That's so ignorant and rude to say. I understand."

I felt guilt for thinking that Puck was just like the other dumbasses out there. I should have known he had a least a little more morals than them. "I'm sorry, I knew that. Okay, what do you need to ask you?"

"Who are you dating?"

"Quinn hasn't told you?" I looked at him quizzically, I was almost certain Quinn told him.

"Nope. She knows though, I mean, obviously." Puck knew about the whole swim meet debacle. "She likes you though, she really does and she doesn't want to sabotage your relationship with her anymore. She wants you to trust her. I keep trying to get her to tell me but she won't. So.. I decided to go straight to the source myself."

I smiled, I wasn't surprised. Quinn was turning out to be a great friend. "Uh, well, promise to keep it on the down low?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Her name is Brittany Pierce."

"Brittany Pierce… Hmmm. Pierce. Oh wait! Pierce. Was that our English student teacher?"

I smiled shyly. "Yeah."

"Oh, wow." I know that in his head, he was trying to go over all the times I talked about her or how I acted in English last semester. "I never would have guessed. How is she?"

"She's great. We're doing really well."

"I'm happy to hear that." He smiled, he was genuinely happy.

"BEEEER POOOONNNNGGG!" Some jock yelled through the house.

"Well, you know that's my game."

"Yeah, you better go kick some ass."

He got up from beside me. "Wait, I have one more question." He sat back down on the side of the couch. "I don't want to sound out of line considering what I did but, uh, did you cheat on me with her?"

"No." I shook my head. "I didn't."

He shrugged. "Thank you. I still am sorry about cheating on you. You know though, me and Quinn, we're really good."

I nodded in agreement. Just as I thought he was about to leave, he didn't. He lingered for a few more seconds before talking again.

"You know, Santana?" He said more seriously than I've heard him ever say anything. "You've never been one to hide who you were or how you feel. You know, this whole gay thing, I think you can be the one to change everyone's views. I think you can be the one that makes everyone think twice before saying 'oh, that's gay.' Don't hide who you are. You're destined to do great things."

I opened my mouth to say something back but I'll I could muster was a "Thank you."

"It was good talking to you, Santana. I'll see you around."

I stood up and gave him a short hug.

This was probably one of the most profound and kindest things Puck had ever said to me. After all that we've gone through, it was nice that Puck still cared. I still cared about him. We've both just moved on, simple as that. It's just weird. We hadn't talked in months. Sometimes though, the best conversations can stem from the people you least expect. _You can be the one to change everyone's views. Don't hide who you are. You're destined to do great things._ Puck was one of those people. And as I slept that night, I kept turning his words over in my head. I wanted to. I wanted to change how people thought but how?

* * *

**It was really tough to write that first part of the chapter. I'm not Lily, JJ, or any of those other literary geniuses. I just hope that it was not too rough. Please, tell me what you thought. Be honest, I ****_think _****I ****can take it. ;)**

**As always, thanks for reading. This chapter was a little slow, it kind of sets the stage for a lot of things that happen later on. But I have some really great things planned for the next chapter!**


	12. Chapter XII

**Just a little preface for this chapter- I picture Matt, Brittany's brother, as Hunter Parrish, when his hair is shorter. It's up to you how to interpret and visualize them but it may help to have a general look. Enjoy!**

**Oh! Also, Santana's graduation year isn't canon, she's class of 2013! **

* * *

On a crisp Friday morning, Brittany and I were halfway to Canton and we were alternating between singing and talking. I normally hate car rides but I'd drive to Alaska if Brittany were with me.

Brittany made sure to remind me that I needed to keep my mom in the loop and then she randomly asked me if I knew who my college roommate would be.

"Well, the housing contracts haven't came out but I'm pretty sure I'm going to room with Jackie Sparks."

"Oh, so not Kate?" She teased. Brittany swore that I had a crush on Kate, whether I knew it or not.

I rolled my eyes. "No, Kate's getting an apartment with a few other girls. She's a junior."

"Jackie's a swimmer?"

"Yeah, I've known her for a few years and we've been planning on rooming together for awhile. We're pretty good friends. She's a lot like Jenna. She's smart too so I figure she'll ground me and I'll probably be more inclined to study around her."

"Pshh," she scoffed. "Like you need that. Does she know your big secret?"

"Yeah, I told her. She was skeptical at first but she asked me a few questions and she came around."

"That's good," Brittany concluded. "Just don't fall in love with her..."

I grinned. "I'll try not to. I have to admit though, she's got a really nice face, not as nice as yours though." Brittany rolled her eyes. "What about you? You went down to find an apartment or house?" She was going to live in Hamilton. I would have my car there and she'd have hers. It wouldn't be hard to see her. It would just be hard to make time to see her.

"Yeah, I was off the other day and I drove down there and looked at a few places. I like them alright. I just haven't found one that I really, really want to live in."

"Are you leaning more towards apartment or house?"

"Probably an apartment; at least for now. It would be hard for any apartment to live up to the one I have right now though and I won't really have the salary to pay for a house either. I have savings and trust fund but I can't justify using it on a house that I'll live alone in. You know? I'll wait until I start a family and whatnot."

"Family? Like kids?" We hadn't ever really talked about it that much. I think maybe because it brings about the topic of the future and for so long, we were even unsure about our future together, not to mention the future in general.

"Yeah, I always have. I just think that kids can light up a room and it's a dream of mine to have one, two, a million maybe. What about you?"

I giggled. "Well maybe not a million kids. But I could see kids in my future. Kids are kind of my weakness. I don't even get pissy when they're annoying me, I think it's cute."

We talked a little bit more about future plans, while walking on eggshells though. We were both so nervous when talking about things like that. Eventually, with time, I'd hope we wouldn't be quite as nervous. We discussed the logistics of a lesbian pregnancy if insemination was practiced. Neither of us were experts on the topic so we had some open ended questions. Then we talked about adoption a little bit.

"But that's years and years from now," Brittany wrapped up.

"Yeah...I mean, I still have my whole life to figure out first."

Around eleven we reached Canton.

"Ahh, finally," Brittany sighed in relief. "I'm so tired of being cooped up in this car! Just a few more minutes and we'll be there!"

I smiled nervously.

We drove through part of the city and turned into a gorgeous neighborhood. It was seriously something else. The houses were set far apart from each other. Some houses had long wrap around driveways with artificial pond fixtures; some houses were up front, near the street; some houses had large yards, some had small yards. But they were all huge houses that looked picture perfect. These were the houses that one could only dream of living in.

"This is your neighborhood?!" I felt like I had to pick my jaw off of the floorboard.

"It's like yours!"

I contemplated her statement. "No, not at all. I know my house is nice but these are..." I trailed off.

She shrugged. "It's a nice neighborhood filled with semi-fake people, including my parents. They all play catch up with each other. The Joneses install new garage doors, then my parents have to. The Peterson's get a new lawn mower, my dad had to get the newer model. It's all a game. Sometimes, I wish I didn't come from such extravagant beginnings, I wish I came from a more humble upbringing. And I know that sounds like I'm a whiny, rich kid but I guess I am being one. It's just horrible to see what we've wasted our money on when there are people who need it so much more than us."

I nodded. Brittany was always really money shy. I think it was a sore subject that also stemmed from some of the problems she had with her parents. She knew that I knew she came from an affluent family but we didn't talk about money often. She's really financially responsible though, she worked for the money and had a been building a retirement and savings fund already. I also knew that she tried hard not to take money from her parents. When Shae moved out of her apartment, they took her part of the rent to help Brittany out. "They didn't need to, I would have scrapped by but it's nice of them that they did," she said.

"And… here we are."

We pulled into the long driveway to an absolutely gorgeous house. It was indescribable. It's a modern and chic house. A 4 car garage was tacked to the side of the house and the landscaping was impeccable. The home itself was two-toned brick, had a black front door, and a large archway of windows above it. The black shutters matched the door. The awning above the front door extended to the sides of the house, with a small patio set on one side. It was huge and an all around gorgeous house. I honestly could not imagine what the inside looked like.

"Oh my god. This is your house, Brittany?"

"Well, my parents'. Modesty at its best," she joked.

"So you grew up here?"

"Sort of. We lived in another house until I was in 7th grade, I didn't switch schools or anything. We just moved."

"It's fucking gorgeous."

"Oh, just wait till you see the inside. Did you text your mom that you were here?"

I fumble a message into my phone. "Now I have."

She parked outside of the garage, next to an Audi sports car.

She saw me checking out the Audi. "Sweet ride."

"That's Matt's car. He's very proud of it, he worked as a tennis instructor for forever and saved money because my parents made him pay for a lot of it."

"I figured it was your brothers."

"You ready?"

"As I'll ever be.."

She kissed me lightly on the lips and we got out of the car and got our bags from the back. We each just had a duffel bag.

A black Labrador greeted us as we walked out.

"Beowulf! Hi, boy!" Brittany threw her bag over her shoulder and bent down to pet the dog.

"_Beowulf_? That's a strange dog name."

"I named him!" Brittany said, offended.

I brushed her off with a grin. "You're such an English nerd." I patted Beowulf on the head. He was a cutie. "Lord Tubbington is better though."

"Well of course," Brittany agreed. "No pet name beats his."

Brittany let the dog be and we walked to the side panel of the garage where she punched in a code and it opened. There was a BMW and a truck parked inside. We made our way through the garage and walked up a few steps garage door. We walked down a hallway and into what I assumed was the front room.

"Here, I'll take that." She took my bag and placed both of the bags aside on a small bench.

I looked around the front room. It was huge, stunning décor, and immaculately clean. There was a high ceiling with a modest chandelier-like light fixture hanging from it. You could see a balcony from the second level form the front room but you couldn't see the stairs.

"Whoa," I said, stunned.

"Don't worry, I still do that every time I walk into your house." She was trying to make me feel more comfortable. "MOM?! DAD?! MATT?!"

"Oh, honey, Brittany is here with her girlfriend." It was a lady's voice, obviously Brittany's mother.

"Coming!" I heard a deep voice from a different direction. I guessed this was Matt's.

I heard a bunch of footsteps and shuffling around. I wasn't holding Brittany's hand, I wanted to but at the same time, I didn't want to. I didn't want to seem dependent on her. A tall guy with tousled darker blonde hair showed up in a v-neck shirt and jeans. It was Matt. He was buff, tall, and handsome. Good genes just ran in the family, I suppose. He had the same blue eyes at Brittany and you could easily tell they were siblings. Not long after, Brittany's parents made their way to the foyer area of the house. I had seen pictures of her family and saw them from afar at Brittany's college graduation; it was just different to see them up close and in person.

Her mom is clean cut. Her height is somewhere between Brittany and I. She's dressed in a casual light blue oxford button up and light pink contrasting capris. Her dark blonde hair is styled down falling right on her shoulders. It frames her circular face and square glasses. She looks good for a mom, I wouldn't have guessed she has two grown children. The only hint of her age is the subtle lines on her forehead, cheeks, and chin.

Her dad looks like the regular business man. He's clean shaven and very tall. He had short salt and pepper hair. He looked overall fit and healthy, barring just a hint of a belly. He's dressed nicely, wearing a crisp button up tucked into dark-wash jeans with a pair of black loafers.

Brittany's parents looked startled when they first saw me. Normally, I could care less about what people thought of me but today, I could not have cared more. I silently praised myself for choosing to wear my favorite long sleeve dress with modest shoes. I looked hot but not too hot. I was going for the classy look. I don't know of they were expecting someone Caucasian, someone older maybe? But surely Brittany had told them my name and with a name like Santana, Caucasian is definitely not the assumed ethnicity.

They quickly changed their expressions. Most people wouldn't have noticed, I was just extra perceptive today. Her parents were attractive people. They looked good together. I could see where Brittany and Matt got their good looks from. Brittany greeted her parents with a hugs and kisses and gave Matt a big hug, she hadn't seen him in quite awhile. They told her happy early birthday, it reminded me of the little present sitting in my duffel bag.

"Mom, dad, Matt, this is Santana."

"Hi." I extended my hand for a handshake and shook all of their hands. Matt's phone rang and he politely excuse himself to answer.

"It's a pleasure meeting you, Mr. and Mrs. Pierce. You have a lovely home." Oh no. Did I already screw up the conversation?

"Please," her dad smiled widely. "Call me Jeff and call this old mare Renee."

We all laughed except Renee who just kind of turned the sides of her lips up, forcing out a smile.

"Brittany has told us a lot about you but she didn't ever say you were so young," Renee contributed.

"Mother, stop," Brittany said defiantly.

Most people don't tell me that I look young. Most people assume I'm older than I actually am. Before I turned 18 right before the start of this school year, I could easily go to the store and buy R-rated movies, lottery tickets, or nail polish remover without ever being carded. So I was surprised at the forwardness of the comment. "I, uh, I'll be graduating high school in a few months."

"Splendid," she said with a time that meant the opposite if splendid. "Brittany, why don't you show Santana around the house while I finish lunch?"

"Okay." Jeff and Renee walk away in the same direction.

Brittany watches to make sure they're out of earshot. "I am so sorry. My mom isn't the best at filtering what she says. I think it's because she has to watch everything she says at court so when she's home it's just like.. word vomit," she said as we walked down a hall, unfamiliar to me.

"It's fine. I'm guessing she was under the impression that I was a teacher at the school you were student teaching at not that you were my student teacher?"

"Um, I think so. I'm sorry."

I was a little frustrated with Brittany. I was just trying to figure out something that could explain it better.

"Wait, didn't you come down here a few weeks ago before state?" I asked.

"Yeah and when I left, I told them that I was seeing a few of the kids that I student taught at the swimming state championships." She sensed my frustration with the situation. "I'm really sorry; my mom is really judgemental at times. I just didn't know she was going to be like this. On the plus side, my dad really likes you."

I didn't want to be angry at Brittany. I understood the predicament she was in and I don't think I could have handled it any better. This just really wasn't the first impression that I wanted to leave.

She grabbed my hand and led me around the house. "Here's the 'front room.'" The front room was nice, with two couches, a coffee table, chair, and piano. "And the dining room is over here." She led me past the front room into an exquisite dining room compete with China cabinets and another chandelier. She noted my looking around. "Yeah…" She stalled. "This room probably gets used less than 10 times a year."

We walked through a doorway and into the kitchen. Renee was mixing a salad over a large bowl. Jeff was next to her, leaning against the countertop. They were talking low and didn't really seem to notice us. The kitchen was so nice. Marble countertops complete with bar stools on the other side, the kind of fridge that disguises itself as a cabinet; and adequate eating space on the other side of the kitchen. "Here's the kitchen, this is where we usually eat." I sniffed the air. I smelled the salmon.

"It smells really good in here," I told her. I was talking low enough to wear her parents couldn't hear it.

"My mom's cooking is pretty good," she said, walking over and taking a baby carrot on a tray on the counter and giving me one.

I caught the eye of Renee as we walked out of the kitchen. It was brief and I had no time to accompany it with a facial expression before looking away.

"Here's the living room." The living room was large but cozy at the same time with a nice fireplace and a huge TV on the wall. There was a matching L-shaped couch, loveseat, and recliner complete with ottomans. A cabinet in the corner accented the room with shelves of family pictures and portraits.

"And then there's a bathroom and an office over there. Not interesting. Do you want to go downstairs?" She pointed past me towards the stairs.

"I do."

Their basement was just as stunning. The main room of the basement was occupied by a house bar, pool table, and an almost theatre like screen and furniture. In another room there was a treadmill, elliptical, and some weight machines. She said that some very memorable parties were held in here. Matt's room and a basement were also down there. She poked her head in before stepping in with me.

"Hey, jerk! Who called that it was so important to walk away from an introduction?"

"Nicole," he said flatly. Who's Nicole? "And I didn't want to deal with whatever mom was going to say, it would just make me angry. I saw it on her face as soon as she saw Santana."

"Yeah, I wish we would have gotten out of there, too."

He looked at me. "So you swim right?"

"Yes, I do."

"Man, I know that swimming is really tough. We've had to swim a few times for tennis. I can barely make it; none of the guys can. And I'm pretty sure that we don't swim a fraction of what any swimmer would swim."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well I'm pretty sure there aren't an abundance of swimmers that can serve a ball over 100 miles per hour." At least I could make sure that Matt liked me.

He smiled. "I like her, Brittany. She's a keeper."

"Lunch is in a little. I'm going to show her upstairs."

"Kay. See you in a little."

She led me upstairs to the main floor, and towards another set of stairs. I felt like getting lost in this house. We walked down the same hallway we did before but I didn't notice there were four hanging portraits on the wall. The top two were young professional photos, preschool or kindergarten of Brittany and Matt, and then bottom two were structured senior portraits. Both of them were stunning, Brittany looked so beautiful, her blonde hair cascading perfectly down her shoulders. Matt was handsome in his. It caught my eye because Ellie and I had something almost exactly like that at our house. Every year, Ellie's picture was replaced with her current school picture until she became a senior and that picture would stay forever.

"Our parents think alike," she said with a smile and a shrug.

On the upstairs level was Brittany's parent's huge room and bathroom, two guest bedrooms, another bathroom, and Brittany's room. Or, Brittany's old room, I guess. She opened the door. It was probably the most cluttered room in the whole house and it wasn't even messy, certainly cleaner than my room at home.

"So, this is your old room?"

"Yep. It didn't look like this when I lived here, but, you know, I haven't lived here in quite awhile. My parents don't really know what to do with it though. Another guest bedroom? How many guests do they think they're going to have at one time?"

I laughed and sat down on the full size bed, it was comfortable. I patted the spot next to me. She closed the door gently and sat down.

"Were you spoiled as a child?" I asked her out of curiosity.

Brittany chuckled. "Not really. My parents taught me how to save money as a really little kid. I never got everything I wanted. I had to save up for it, even some clothes. Then, when I turned 16, I got a job, bought my own gas, and paid for part of my car. The only things they really paid for after that was dance, any school activities, and health things. Clothes on just a few occasions."

I nodded, understandingly. "They're good parents."

"They are. These last few years though have been rough."

I put a hand on her thigh. She holds it. "Because you feel like you're disappointing them?"

She nodded. "Yeah, but I know they'll eventually see that even though I'm not making a six or seven figure salary, I can be happy."

She moved from my side and sat down on my lap. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I wrapped an arm around her waist and another across her thighs.

"I'm especially happy because we're alone and I have been waiting all morning to do this." She peppered my cheek and neck with small kisses. "To kiss you."

"In your teenage bedroom?"

"Shhh," she whispered in my ear. "We won't think about that."

She leaned down and kissed me. I fell back onto the bed and got as much of Brittany as I could. Luckily, we were interrupted by her dad calling down for lunch or I'm sure something more would have happened. We got up and straightened out our clothing and hair before heading back downstairs.

The kitchen smelled really good. The table was elegantly set for lunch. A few dishes were on the table, a salad with a tray of vegetables, some fruit, and a platter of grilled salmon.

"Brittany tells me that salmon is your favorite food. It happens to be one of our favorites, too," Renee said as we sat down.

I smiled. "Yes, it is. It looks so great and smells delicious."

All five of us sat down and helped ourselves to food and started eating. I guess we were all pretty hungry, we really didn't talk very much for the first half of lunch.

"So Santana, what do you do at school?" Jeff asked me.

"I'm on the swim team," I said.

Brittany nudged my leg. "She's being modest. She's student body Vice President, president of at least half of the clubs at her school, and valedictorian. She was swim team captain; she's won seven state championships and helped her team place in the top 10 three times at state. And she's one of the top 10 high school swimming recruits this year and she even swam at the London Olympic trials last summer."

I smiled bashfully at Brittany's impressive recollection.

They all raised their eyebrows. "Wow, that's very impressive. What do you swim? Breaststroke?" Jeff offered with a grin. That joke never seemed to get old. Matt, Brittany, and I laughed shortly.

"Jeff!" Her mom interjected.

"Actually," I said, trying to lighten the newfound tension. "That's my worst stroke. I'm not too bad at backstroke and freestyle."

Renee put her fork on her plate, indicating she was done. "I assume with that impressive résumé, you plan on swimming in college?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm planning on going to Brooklyn-Hale University to swim."

"Ahh, BHU, that's a great school. Now I see why Brittany took that job in Hamilton." I couldn't tell if her mom was angry or just stating facts. "What are you going to major in?"

"I'm thinking of engineering, maybe chemical or biochemical."

We talked a little more about college. Renee continued to make some weird off hand comments. Jeff tried to make things not awkward. Matt slinked off to take another call, he said it was from his coach and that he'd be back.

And then my phone, which was was placed casually on the table, started vibrating. I looked at the screen _Coach Carmichael._ "Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. This is actually the coach at BHU. Please excuse me. I'm sorry."

"Oh, no. It's fine. We totally understand," Jeff said. I politely took the call into the other room.

"Hi," I said to Coach.

"Hey, Santana. I got your voicemail, what's up?"

I thought about how to phrase my words for a few seconds. I decided on the blunt approach. "This might seem weird but I wanted to tell you that I'm lesbian. And I know this may be a little awkward that I'd call just to tell you that but it's something I thought you needed to know."

"Oh, of course. I gotcha," he says in a kind way.

I continued, "When I went on recruitment and when I signed, I was kind of still finding myself and trying to come out to myself so I wasn't able to tell you but now I am. I just want you to know and I really hope that it's not going to be a problem."

"Absolutely not," he says quickly. "You know, I am very, very proud of you for telling me and for being so open about this. It takes a lot of courage to do that. I know that these girls will be behind you 100 percent. They are very open minded and it's not going to be a problem. I'm certain that they'll be more interested in your relay split times than your sexual orientation."

I smiled to myself. It was another load off my shoulders. "Thank you so much, Coach."

"No problem. Don't hesitate calling me if you need anything else."

"Oh, I won't. I'll see you in a few months!"

"Looking forward to it. Bye Santana."

I hung up and took a breath of relief.

"Sounds like a coach phone call." Matt walked up behind me.

"Yeah. Just sorting out some... Logistics."

Matt nodded without prying for more information.

We walked back towards the dining room. Matt was in front of me. I heard voices; Brittany and Renee. Before walking through the entryway, Matt motioned for me to stop and pressed a finger to his lips and then to his ear.

"You went to a twenty-five thousand dollar a year school just to hook up with a student you met while student teaching?! We helped pay for your home!" It was Renee's voice.

"First off, I got scholarships and the cost was a fraction of that. Secondly, it's not like we couldn't afford it. Just look!" She pointed to the open space, the house. "And third, we didn't hook up while I was student teaching. We didn't hook up at all." I heard the annoyance and anger in Brittany's voice.

"How old is she anyway?! 16? 17?"

"First off, that's illegal. She's freaking 18, Mother. She was 18 when she started her senior year. She voted in the freaking election. You and dad are 5 years apart. Can you just stop and be happy for me?"

"Renee, Brittany is right." Jeff was trying to mediate.

Matt gave me a sympathetic look but I could tell he wanted to keep listening.

"And what is this moving to Hamilton business? I pulled a lot of strings to get you that interview at Massillon and I know that this job had a better salary than any job there."

"It was only a few thousand more. They offered me an assistant dance team coaching job and Santana is going to be there."

Renee sighed, "Santana is a beautiful girl. I like her, I really do. She's polite and very charming. She has so much going for her and she's going to be so successful in whatever she does. But you don't know what the future is going to bring, if you'll even be together when the next school year starts. I don't want you to screw up her life like Lindsay did to you. You know, this could be a phase, it certainly wouldn't be the first time that a teenager explored her sexuality!"

"Mom, you have know idea who Santana is. She's not going through a phase, if she were, I'd be long gone by now. And you really have crossed a line comparing me to Lindsay! This is not the same situation at all. You don't even know, Mom!" The tone in Brittany's voice was angrier than I've ever heard it. She collected herself back up and took a quick breath. "Obviously, Lindsay didn't screw up my life too much. If anything, I just learned from her. I graduated a semester early and I have a job already lined up, I would hardly call that a screw up."

Matt jumped at the mention of Lindsay and cleared his throat before walking in. I followed a second later.

The tension in the room was strong but they didn't finish their conversation.

"Um, Mom and I have a few errands to run," Jeff started to say. He looked at Brittany. "Remember your birthday dinner is tonight. It was going to be at Bethany's family's place but they had space already rented out so it's at that other restaurant that you like. If you don't mind, Matt, could you clean up the dishes?"

"Yeah, no problem."

Renee told Brittany, "We'll finish talking about this later, Brittany." The look in her eyes was stern before she faced me and changed dispositions. "Santana, it was nice meeting you. I'm looking forward to getting to know you more."

I smiled and mumbled a response. I don't even know what I said.

Brittany, still angry and annoyed, replied, "I don't know what else there is to talk about. See you tonight."

Her parents cleared the room and all three of us waited in silence while Matt started to put away the dishes until we heard the door shut.

"Here, let me help you." I picked up a few plates from the table.

"Thanks!"

Brittany sighed. "So, how much of that did you hear?"

"Uhh, when your mom started talking about college and stuff."

"Oh, so you got to hear the best part." Brittany put her hands over her face in frustration. "I am so sorry. I don't know, my mom, she was out of line. She's usually not like this."

"Brittany, calm down." I put a my hand on her shoulder and give it a gentle squeeze. "It's okay. It's going to be something that they're going to have to get used to. This situation isn't… an easy situation to grasp. It's going to be alright. I promise. I don't want you to be upset; it's almost your birthday." I flashed her a half-hearted smile.

Brittany got up from the table, taking a few dishes to Matt who was putting them in the dishwasher. She stood up and gave me a hug. I let her melt into me. I knew this was hard for her.

"Do you mind if I take a nap before the 'birthday celebration' tonight?" She put air quotes around the birthday celebration.

"Not at all. You drove a bunch." I kissed her cheek.

"Matt, can you keep her company?" She clasped her hands together. "Pleeeeaaasssee?" She sing-songed. "And not by playing tennis, she's not dressed for that," she added.

"Sure, Brittany. No tennis. We'll stick around here."

"Thank you. Santana, wake me up if he gives you any trouble." She winked and went upstairs.

Matt closed up the dishwasher and wiped his hand on a towel and took a seat next to me at the bar stools on the island.

"Do your parents hate me?"

"No, they don't have the capacity to really hate someone, especially not my dad. They're just _adjusting._ And Mom is always like that at first. She was like that with one of my girlfriend. But now, they still talk sometimes, and we're not even together anymore!"

I optimistically laughed.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that, though. I'm sure you know Brittany's relationship with my mom has been strained ever since she decided to become a teacher. Mom really wanted Brittany to become a dentist. I don't know if she's told you but Brittany was set on dentistry her whole life until her junior year when she started teaching dance, then she realized how much she loved teaching." Matt went on, "Also, she really wanted Brittany to go to her alma mater, UC, not Lima. Brittany didn't want to go to UC, even though she was accepted. She wanted to be at Lima to dance and to be closer to them. Brittany and my mom love each other and everything but they're a lot alike and they butt heads a lot."

"I see. I understand. I suppose it's not the ideal finding out that your college graduate is dating someone in high school. I mean just saying it is weird."

He shook his head. "It's love," he simply stated. "On the bright side, my dad is smitten with you."

I smiled. It was sweet that he wasn't trying to tell me that everything would be alright with her mom. Really, none of us knew what would happen. I changed the subject, "So how do you like Ohio State? I know a few people who are going there next fall."

"I love it there. It get's hard, juggling tennis, studying, and girls. But it's worth it."

"You really must love tennis."

He nodded. "Probably as much as you love swimming. It's just something about the way you can make a ball soar straight past someone down the line to where they don't even see it coming." He mimed a forehand. "I played basketball in high school and loved it but there was just something I loved more about tennis. The only downside is that there are some tennis players who are absolute jerks."

"Typical jocks. You're pre-pharmacy right?"

He nodded. "I know I don't look too smart but I'm getting through it." Matt had Brittany's same humble and genuine demeanor.

"So why aren't you beach bound yet? Isn't it a college spring break tradition?"

Matt hesitated. "I uh, well I really wanted to see Brittany since it's her birthday and all. I saw her at Christmas but if I didn't come up this week then I don't know when the next time I would see her would be. Tennis season heats up quickly around this time of the year. Besides, I'll have to be back tomorrow or the next day for training anyway, conference is really soon."

"Aww, that's so cute. You guys are really close?"

"Yeah, we've always got along really well. When my parents weren't around a lot, Brittany was there for me. Even when she was battling her eating disorder, she made sure I always had food and was taken care of, always brought me to my practices and everything, even when she had a million things to do herself. I can remember freshman year of high school when I couldn't drive, she'd have show choir or cheerleading practice, take me home from my own practice, and then go to the dance studio for practice rehearsal. I still don't know how she managed all of that and graduated in the top 10 percent." He chuckled. "Everyone always though she wasn't bright but she is so smart. So smart. She's got such a different way of looking at everything."

Brittany wasn't good at bragging about her own accomplishments, it was great to hear about her from someone who was so close to her. "She is really something else. I'm so lucky."

"She's pretty lucky to have you! What about you? Do you have any siblings?"

My face brightened at the mention of Ellie. "Yeah, I have a younger sister, Ellie. She's a sophomore. Uh, she actually loves playing basketball. We're super close." I pulled out my phone and showed her my background; it was a picture of us from the state meet.

"She's cute. Taller than you," he teased.

"She absolutely adores Brittany."

"Your family has already met her?" He asked, surprised.

"Yeah, at first it was in an awkward way but they've grown to love her." I must have looked down.

"Hey, they'll come around, trust me."

"I sure hope. So where's this celebration tonight?"

"Can you keep a secret.." He looked at his watch. "For a few more hours?"

"Yes."

"It's actually a surprise party. I got a hold of a bunch of her friends, convinced them to come here to celebrate her birthday, which was hard, considering it's spring break but it's Brittany and everyone loves Brittany. My parents rented out a room in her one of her favorite restaurant in town. It has a dance floor so you know she's all over it. I hope you like to dance…" I smiled and nodded. "It's going to be super great."

"That is so exciting! She'll love it."

"She better!" He joked.

We talked more while Brittany continued to nap. He was easy to talk to and enjoyed talking about Brittany as much as I did so it was great. We got along really well. Then we retreated to the basement to play a game of pool. He crushed me. It was almost an hour before the party so I called Brittany to wake her up; I knew she would want to have time to get ready.

Before she came back downstairs, I had to ask Matt one more question.

"Will you tell me about Lindsay?"

"I… I think that's something Brittany should tell you."

* * *

"SURPRISE!"

It was a classic surprise party. Matt, Brittany, and I walked in to an open room at a classy restaurant and a bunch of people popped out. I felt like if _Gossip Girl_ or _90210_ were set in Ohio, it would be her life. All of the people there, they looked around Brittany's age; they were all attractive and had such nice clothes.

"AHHHH!" Brittany squealed and kissed my cheek, probably because I was the closest person to her. "Oh my gosh! I can't believe this. She spotted her parents and ran up to them and gave them a hug. "Thank you! This is so great!"

She greeted all of her friends with hugs and 'I miss you so much's, she was so cute. After all the commotion, everyone settled down for dinner, she made sure that I was sitting next to her. I wouldn't have minded if she wanted to catch up with her friends but I really appreciated that she made sure I didn't feel out of place. There were multiple tables around the room, I spotted Matt with a bunch of Brittany's guy friends, Brittany's parents with some other adults, presumably parents of some of Brittany's friends, and then Brittany and I sat at a huge table with a handful of other girls.

"I'm so happy that you guys could make it. I can't believe that they set all of this up for me! I really underestimate my family sometimes!"

All of the other girls nodded and said they wouldn't have missed it for the world and whatnot.

When drinks orders were took, the Asian girl across the table, probably the one Brittany mentioned at the Chinese restaurant said, "Brittany, how rude! It's been twenty minutes and you haven't even introduced us to your friend here." She winked.

"Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry. I got caught up in all the excitement. Girls, this is my girlfriend, Santana."

"Oh, your girlfriend? I never would have guessed by your disgustingly cute looks you make at her. Hi, Santana."

"Hi!"

It was easy to pick out all of these people around the table, even around the room. I'd heard numerous stories about them from Brittany. I knew which girls and guys were the ones that Brittany studied with, partied with, hung out with the most often, and slept with. I knew more about them than they ever thought I would.

One intrigued me the most out of all of them. It was the girl sitting right across the table from me was Molly. The infamous Molly. Molly is probably Brittany's absolute best friend from high school, if she had to choose one. She was also the girl who Brittany first had sex with. Brittany's friend with benefits. She was breathtakingly beautiful. Her auburn hair was pulled into a simple fishtail to the side. Her face was splashed with freckles that accentuated her perfect nose and pretty smile.

I'm not a jealous person at all but seeing her did make me just a pinch jealous. Maybe jealous isn't the word. I just wondered what it would be like to be able to have a friends with benefits agreement with your best friend, who just happens to be Brittany Pierce. The more I thought about it, the weirder it got though. I wouldn't have ever been able to just be her friend-with-benefits. There's no way that I woudn't have developed feelings for her. I wondered if Molly ever had feelings for her.

Molly was kind to me, they all were. They talked to me like I was a part of their group. Throughout the whole dinner, I really enjoyed getting to know them, I kind of just wished I could know more about Molly.

After dessert, music started playing throughout the restaurant. "LET'S GO DANCE!" I heard a guy's voice.

All of the girls cheered and started to get up.

"Do you want to dance, sweetheart?" Brittany asked, already standing up.

"Save me a dance?" I questioned back. "I'll be there in a little."

"You sure?"

"For sure." I smiled and put a small kiss on her lips.

Most of the room moved out to the dance floor and the waiters started to gather the dishes. I spotted Brittany's mom alone in the corner booth on her phone. I think her dad and Brittany's parent's friends left as well. _Deep breath, Santana. You can do this._ I fixed my hair out of habit, took a deep breath, and walked over. I sat down across from her in the empty booth.

"Hello, Renee," I tried to say it in a friendly but firm way.

"Well, hello Santana. I thought you would be dancing, Brittany tells me you love dancing as well?" Renee was texting on her phone while looking up from her screen to make eye contact as she spoke.

"Yeah. I'll dance in a little. I just, I wanted to talk to you."

She put her phone down and her full attention was on me. "Yeah? Oh, did you overhear some of the conversation earlier? I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to hear that."

"I did hear some of it and I understand where you're coming from. I know that you may think our relationship stemmed from unusual circumstances and it did but I just want you to know that I love Brittany and I would do anything for her."

"Would you give up swimming for her?" She countered.

I didn't miss a beat. "If I had to choose between the two, it would be her every time."

"Even though you've only known her for a few months?" She challenged again.

I nodded. "More than a few months," I corrected her. "Brittany is worth more than any hunk of metal that they could put around my neck."

Renee nodded slowly. "I'm sorry. I do like you. You seem like a really nice girl, it's just so different from her previous relationships. And it's really hard for me to wrap my head around this."

I honestly don't know what to say back to her. It's awkward and not what I expected.

"Um..."

"Look," Renee took a casually sip of her drink. "I'm not going to sugar coat this and lie to you. I'm not going to tell you that I think that you two are a great couple. I'm not going to tell you that I'm happy about the relationship and the fact that you're still in high school. However, I will tell you that I've never seen Brittany so enamored and in love with someone as she is with you."

I forced a smile. "She's everything to me."

"I'm sorry that I can't just 'be okay' with this. Before you think this, it has nothing to do with the fact that you two are both women. It's just that Brittany could've not graduated because of this. There were real life consequences at stake." I figured it was the lawyer in Renee that was coming out. "Obviously, it's all alright now but it's just hard for me to know that it happened and that my daughter broke such a sacred teaching rule."

"I appreciate your honesty," I replied, trying to keep cool. Ellie's words You're dating Brittany not her family kept going through my head. "But Brittany didn't go completely behind everyone's back. She told her professor about us. The professor said that Brittany could keep her status because she was in such great standing with the LU and McKinley staff. She was honest."

"I didn't know that."

"You've raised an amazing young woman and no matter what happens, she's changed me for the better. I would really appreciate it if I could have the chance to know the amazing woman that shaped Brittany into who she is today." It was risky to be so blunt and it may have seemed that I was trying to suck up but everything that I said was true. I knew Renee worked her ass off for her family. She was the epitome of a working mom. Her kids are phenomenal so she obviously did something right.

Renee contemplated my words before giving me a quick nod and mumbling something about having to go. Before she had the chance to get up, I felt Brittany put her arms around me and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Hey, Mom," she said to her mom. Then looking at me, she said, "You owe me a dance."

I giggled, got up out of my seat, and looked at Renee.

She said, "Well, you two have fun. I'll see you at home. Brittany, don't forget these gifts and cards."

"I won't, Mom. And thanks again."

We watched as Renee walked out of the room. We were the only two left in here now. Brittany took a good look at me.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I assured her.

"Santana, I know you better than that."

"It's just, your mom doesn't like me. Well, she doesn't like us together."

"My mom doesn't like a lot of things," she stated with annoyance in her voice.

"No, it's fine. Don't let it ruin your night. Everything will work out," I lied. I didn't know if everything would work out.

She sighed. "Well, you're right. Might as well not lament on something that won't change."

She led me to the dance floor and immediately she changed her disposition. She lit up on the dance floor. We danced and danced and danced.

Brittany dance behind me with her hands on my hips. "I'm really glad you came," she breathed into my ear.

I leaned to the side so she could hear me. "I am too. Happy birthday, almost."

A slow song came on. I turned around and put my hands around her neck.

I feel both of her arms around my back, pulling me closer to her.

We danced without talking, just staring into each other's eyes, with goofy grins on our faces. It was more than enough to look through her gorgeous eyes, we didn't need words. The day actually turned out to be really great. I was happy.

Another song started playing and Brittany started showing off some great dance moves. All eyes were on her and she just brought the house down. She dragged me in and I danced along with her. When the song ended and Brittany brought me close to her and kissed me, full on tongue, in front of everyone. There were collective cheers and whistles from around the dance floor. Thank God her parents were gone, I'd be super embarrassed.

Her friends were really cool with it though. It was nice to be treated like everyone else for once.. We continued dancing for about another forty-five minutes, we just couldn't help it, dancing was just too much fun.

"Let's get out of here," she said.

"Are you sure? Your friends are all here."

"My friends stopped being my friends like an hour ago, now most of them are just really wasted."

I laughed. "I'll grab your keys and I'll take the stuff out to your car and you can say goodbye to them."

"Best. Girlfriend. Ever."

I smiled and started to walk away.

"Oh, Santana!" She called out after me.

I turned around. "Yeah?"

"Do you mind driving home? I had a few drinks."

"Sure," I told her with a smile.

"Hey, Santana," she said again. I turned around with a grin on my face.

"I love you."

I grinned even bigger. "I love you too, Britt."

I took her presents and cards out to her car and started it. It was getting warmer in the daytime but still pretty chilly at night so I warmed her car. I got out my phone; I hadn't checked it since Coach Carmichael called. There were a bunch of texts. I didn't really feel like replying to all of them. I let my mind wander while I waited. I wondered about Lindsay. She had told me about her before, Lindsay, the tennis player, and that their relationship ended badly, I just wasn't sure. I didn't know if I should bring it up today or later, when it wasn't close to her birthday. I closed my eyes for a second before I heard the passenger door. I opened my eyes and tried to adjust to the darkness.

"Hey, ba—" I paused mid-sentence because it wasn't Brittany. I turned on Brittany's cab light.

"Hey, sorry to disappoint you. Brittany's still talking."

It was Molly. _The Molly._

"Okay. Hi. It's Molly, right?" The words tumbled out of my mouth.

She nodded. "I don't want to scare you or anything but I wanted to talk to you."

I raised my eyebrow slightly "Okay..." I said somewhat apprehensively.

"Has Brittany mentioned me?"

I nodded. "Uhmm, yeah. I know that you guys weren't... the typical high school best friends."

She giggled. "Yeah. You got that right. She really is one of my best friends. I know all about you."

"You do?" I said surprisingly. "What do you know about me?"

"Oh, just the stuff that Brittany tells me, which is actually a lot. She talks about you all the time.I know that your favorite food are breadsticks. I know that you probably missed a swim practice to come here with her. I know that you swim freestyle and backstroke but you hate the IM. But I don't even know what IM means."

I chuckled. "Individual medley. All the strokes in one race."

Molly still looked confused about the IM but went on, "She'd kill me if she knew I was talking to you but I want you to take really good care of her. She's been screwed over really badly in the past."

I frowned. "Of course. No matter what happens, I'll take care of her."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I'm sure you will even if I said 'no.'"

"You think you're sharp, don't you?"

I grinned and opened my mouth to reply but she interrupted, "No that's not the question." We both laughed. "You must be like really strong since you're such a good swimmer, I assume you lift?"

I nodded. "Three times a week in off season. But swimming defines muscle even more than lifting." I didn't really know where she was going with this and it was an automatic response.

She mulled over that for a few seconds. "Promise me one thing, Santana?"

"And what's that?"

"Promise me that you'll never hit her. Ever. Even if she hits you, don't hit her back."

"I promise," I said without hesitation.

She smiled. "Okay. She loves you a whole lot, Santana."

"I love her too. I couldn't imagine my life without her. Now or ever."

We both looked as Brittany walked out of the restaurant.

"I'm going to say goodbye. It was really nice meeting you, Santana. Take care, alright?"

I smiled, in the corner of my eye, Brittany lingered by the door with another friend. "You too."

She put her hand on the car latch.

"Molly?" I called out before she got out. "What did Lindsay do to her?"

She exhaled. "Um, it's not really my place. I know that Brittany will tell you when she's ready though."

"Alright. Thank you."

Molly gave a sympathetic smile before getting out of the car. I watched as she gave Brittany a kiss on the cheek and a big hug. They talked long enough for me to wonder again what this whole "Lindsay thing" was about.

Brittany started towards the car and I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind.

"Hey, sorry it took so long," she said while getting in. I could feel the cool air. "You know how I am with goodbyes…"

"Yeah. It's not a problem. It's your old friends; you haven't seen them in a while."

"Was Molly just in here?" She asked with a quizzical look on her face.

"Y-Yeah. She was."

"What'd she say?"

"Nothing too much," I said with a smirk on my face.

I shifted gears and headed back to her house.

* * *

"Oh, hello girls. How was the rest of the party?" Jeff greeted us when we got in. I didn't see Renee anywhere and I was relieved. I didn't know where I stood with her after our conversation.

"It was really good. We did a lot of dancing. I don't know how you pulled it off but thank you guys. One of the best birthdays ever and it's not even my birthday yet!"

"We're glad you loved it! We also have something else for you but we'll save that for tomorrow." Jeff explained.

My relief was soon squashed when Renee walked in. She saw the two of us and said to me, "Brittany will show you where the towels and everything are upstairs if you want to take a shower. And the guest bed next to Brittany's old room is clean."

"Okay, thank you so much," I said politely

"Where's Matt?" Brittany asked.

"Where do you think?" Jeff questioned.

"Nicole…" She concluded. "I should've guessed."

"Well, I better head off to bed, it's pretty late. I'll see you two in the morning," Renee got up.

"I will have to agree with her." Jeff followed her example and got up.

We all said collective goodnights and parted ways. When we were safely upstairs, in her room, I asked Brittany about Nicole. It seemed like she wasn't the only one with intriguing past girlfriends.

"It's Matt's ex. They dated for a couple years in high school. But she's a senior and they broke up before Matt went to college. He says he's tried to date this year but he can't get over her. Every time he comes here, he sees her."

"Do you like her?"

"She's nice. I don't know. She just needs to stop stringing him along. But, hey, if they're meant to be together…" I loved knowing more about Brittany's past, her life, everything. I felt like I had an insatiable hunger for any and every part of her life.

"I see... She's missing out. Matt's great. Anyway, I gots to take a shower. All that dancing made me a hot mess. Do you mind?"

"Not at all, I'll shower after you. I guess I'll just..." she looked at the presents and cards. "Open these. Oh! Before you shower, flip the horizontal light switch under the regular light switches. It heats the floor so when you step out, the floor isn't freezing." She grinned because she knew how ridiculous that sounded.

"Technology these days," I muttered.

I stepped into the extremely cushy bathroom and found that her mom did lay out towels for us, along with shampoo, conditioner, soap, and face wash. It was better than being in a hotel. I flipped the heated floor switch and slipped into the shower. I looked around. I was in the same shower that Brittany had been in thousands of times. The same bathroom that Brittany had went to every morning, put on makeup in every morning for years. It was almost surreal. A year ago, I had never thought that I would be here, three hours away from Lima, in a huge, gorgeous house, with a beautiful girl who was as crazy about me as I was about her.

A year ago, I thought that I would be at Puck's more-than-sketchy family reunion for spring break. I only endured it for him but it was horrible. And Puck knew that, he was forced to go by his mom. When we got there, Puck always drank too much with his family members and then we'd go back to the cabin they stay at and, after sloppy sex, sleep. Then it repeated for a few days. Now, it would be Quinn? It wasn't all bad and some of the people were really funny but it was not my ideal way to spend break

I took myself out of my day dream. I didn't want to take up all the hot water. As I stepped onto the tile floor, it was warm and cozy. Definitely unexpected and so comfortable. I looked around the bathroom and I realized that I hadn't brought any clothes to change into. I wrapped myself in a towel and walked out of the bathroom back Brittany's room to grab clothes.

"Whoa, now that is a better birthday present than all of these!" Brittany was sprawled on the floor, wrapping paper was strewn across. She had already fished out some thank-you cards and had started writing them.

"You're such a dork."

"Hey Brittany, do you..." Matt walked into the room. When he saw me in my towel, he stopped mid sentence and turned around. "I'm sorry. I, uh, I'm sorry."

"Matt, it's fine. She's swims, remember? She was on the cover of newspapers with more skin showing than that."

Matt slowly came back in the room with a goofy grin. "Looks like someone has been busy…" He nodded towards the pile of trash.

I grabbed my clothes and tiptoed out of the room, giving them some privacy.

I brushed my teeth, brushed my hair, changed into pajama pants and a tank top, and went back to her room. Matt was sitting on her bed, looking a little dejected.

"Oh, do you want me to give you some more privacy?"

"No! Don't be silly." I sat down next to Brittany. "Actually, I'm going to take a shower. Matt, get Santana's advice. She's the smartest girl ever." Brittany squeezed my thigh before getting up.

"Santana, can I ask your opinion on something?" Matt asked when she was out of the room.

"I'll probably be really honest," I warned.

"It's probably what I need."

Matt told me about the sad story of Nicole and him. Brittany basically recapped it well. Matt just retold it with more feelings. I knew he still really liked her but honestly, this Nicole girl is a bitch. She just strings him along but won't tell him what this relationship is between them two. And I told him that she's a bitch. Matt's such a great guy and deserved better than her. I told him to lay it all out, tell her to make a decision or no more booty calls. He said that he liked how honest I was with him, which was a scathing contrast to what most people think of my advice. It was nice talking to Matt again. He's such a good guy and I genuinely liked him.

Brittany was still showering, infamous for her long showers, when Matt decided to turn in for the night. As he was leaving the room, he told me, "You make Brittany really, really happy. I haven't seen her this happy in a really long time. I'm not even going to do that whole don't-hurt-my-sister-or-I'll-hurt-you- thing because I know you won't hurt her."

I smiled at him and he told me goodnight and exited the room. I walked over to my stuff and texted Ellie and my mom. Behind my stuff was a bookshelf. My curiosity got the best of me and I grabbed Brittany's senior yearbook. I laid down on my stomach and propped myself up on my elbows. I was smiling to myself while looking through it when Brittany walked in. A huge picture of her cheesing in the middle of a cheerleading pyramid graced the cheering spread. The headline read "_Pierce Leads Cheerleaders to a Runner Up National Competition Cheer Title_"

"Oh, gosh. You found that? That's embarrassing." Brittany said when she walked in.

She laid next to me and put her arm through mine. She showed me all the people I met that night and what they looked like years ago. She was voted prettiest eyes and best dance, which was not surprising at all. We spent another half hour talking and laughing about Brittany's senior year.

"I'm hella tired, Britt. What a big day." I yawned. "Uh, I guess I should go to the guest room?"

Brittany quickly shook her head. "Um, no. You're not going in there."

"Where do you suppose I go, Miss. Pierce?"

"Perhaps, you could just stay here with me. My bed is a little smaller here than it is in Lima but that just means—"

"We just have to cuddle closer," I finished her sentence. Then I backtracked my thoughts. "I dont' want your mom to be angry with me."

"She probably won't even notice. Besides, we're both adults and it's my birthday."

I laughed, she had been using that excuse the whole week. "Say 'It's my birthday' one more time and I'll…"

"Kiss me?" I felt her breath right next to my ear and her fingertips on my stomach.

I played along, "If you fucking say 'It's my birthday' one more time, I'll kiss you like you've never been kissed before. It'll make your head spin."

"Well, I think you should since it's my birthday."

I grabbed her waist and pulled her into me. I kissed her, aggressively but not sloppy. I slipped my tongue into her mouth like I had done hundreds of times before and felt hers over mine. I pushed her on top of her bed and laid down on top of her. I couldn't get enough of Brittany. I wanted to kiss her forever. I felt her hands under my shirt, on my back. I wanted her so badly, so, so badly. I wanted to take off all of her clothes. I wanted to kiss her whole body. Then reality hit me. I couldn't. We couldn't. Not like this.

I stopped kissing her and she moaned my name, "Santana." It was almost enough to make me rethink but I resisted. I lay down next to her, clutching her arm, with one of my legs over hers.

"Brittany, we can't," I said with unruly reluctance.

"Lesbian Bed Death already?" She joked.

I choked out a hard laugh. "You're hilarious, you know? And of course I want to, we're just...we're in your high school bedroom. Your parents are right down the hall. It's kind of awkward."

"Oh, I forgot about that. Good point."

I kissed her hand. "Goodnight, birthday girl. I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you, Santana."

I quickly fell asleep using her shoulder as a pillow.

The next morning, I woke up before Brittany, like usual. But this was a special day. This was Brittany's birthday. Her actual birthday. I carefully detached myself from her. I tried not to stare too long at a sleeping Brittany, I had things to do. I went to the bathroom, peed, and brushed my teeth. I looked through my bag and found what I needed. I put the unicorn-with-a-birthday-hat-on stuffed animal that I hid in my bag next to her on the bed. I took out the earrings I had bought her, looked at them one more time, I was actually jealous of myself for picking out such gorgeous earrings. Brittany didn't really like dangly earrings so I found these gorgeous post earrings. The center stone was aquamarine, her birthstone, and it was surrounded by tiny diamonds. Well, I suppose they weren't real diamonds. The earrings weren't horribly expensive but they were enough that I knew they were good quality.

I wrote a love letter where I wrote my favorite 22 things I loved about her, in honor of her 22nd birthday. Subsequently, it ended up being more like 44 things. I never realize that brevity wasn't my thing until I started writing her letter. Brittany just turned me into a giant marshmallow and such a sap. I placed the folded up letter under the earring box next to her phone on the nightstand. I knew she'd look there when she first woke up. Then I sat down on the floor and waited. I fiddled with my phone and finally got around to texting those people back.

Finally, I heard her stir. She mumbled something and I watched as she rubbed her eyes and woke up. I kind of felt like a creeper watching her for this long.

"What's this?" She held the unicorn in front of her. "Aww, a birthday unicorn. Wait, where are you?" Her eyes were still half asleep.

I laughed. "Down here, sweetheart." She smiled at me. Then, like clockwork, she looked on the night stand at the clock.

"What's this?" She sat up and picked up the letter and the box containing the earrings from the nightstand. She held the box in one hand and opened the letter with the other.

I watched for minutes while her eyes scanned the pages. The range in variety of emotions displayed on her face. When she got to the end of it, her eyes lingered on the page and I saw a tear of happiness slide down her face.

"Aw," I cooed. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"No, it's perfect. It's not tears of sadness. I just love you so much."

She put the letter away and opened the box with the earrings. Her jaw dropped and she looked at me, back to the earrings, and then back to me.

"Santana! These are absolutely gorgeous. Oh my gosh." She smiled at me. "You're the best."

I stood up; she pulled me in for a hug.

"Ahh, I gotta go to the bathroom. Be right back."

She came back a few minutes later and took my face in her hands and kissed me.

"I'm the luckiest girl in the world. You really didn't have to."

"I wanted to." I smiled. "Happy birthday, baby."

We went downstairs for breakfast in perfect timing, too. The table was just being set. It wasn't just cereal and fruit either. It was extensive, like fruit, eggs, sausage, bacon, and pancakes good. 'Brittany's birthday breakfast,' they called it.

Renee sat across from Brittany once we all got our food. Brittany showed off her new earrings to her family. "Brittany! Those earrings are very pretty. Where did you get them?"

Brittany smiled broadly. "Santana just gave them to me!"

"Santana has really good taste," Renee complimented. Finally something nice.

"She does."

After breakfast was over, Jeff and Renee gave Brittany her birthday present. They gave her an iPad; claiming she needed one. Brittany accepted it graciously.

"Thank you, guys. You really didn't have to, last night was enough!"

"And not only that, we made a donation to the _Make-A-Wish Foundation_ on your behalf."

Brittany smiled. "Thanks, really. You guys are so sweet."

Matt gave Brittany a card with a gift card inside.

"Wow, Matt, how original!" She turned to me. "Anytime Matt feels obligated to give a gift, it's always a gift card."

Matt just shrugged with a look that said Harsh but true.

"Well, I think that both Renee and I need to head over to work. Santana, it was very nice meeting you. You're welcome here anytime," Jeff said.

Renee half-nodded and forced out a smile. "Yeah, it was great getting to know you Santana," Renee said with a tone that meant the opposite of what she was saying.

"Thank you so much for having me." I got up and awkwardly stood there, wondering if I should hug them or shake their hand.

"I'm sorry we couldn't stay for longer, Brittany. Work calls."

"On a Saturday? You guys need to slow down," Brittany replied.

"Oh, some day," Renee said wishfully. "By the way, Britt, do you think you could go visit Grams before you take off? Maybe during her Scrabble time? She's been asking about you."

"Oh! Yeah, I'll go see her before we leave." I assumed that 'Grams' is Brittany's grandma.

Brittany walked with her parents out the door, saying her goodbyes. When she got back, we went back up to her room and changed.

"So, what do you want to go today?" She asked me.

"It's your birthday, what do you want to do?"

Matt walked in seemingly from nowhere. "How about what I want to do?" He winked. "And you thought that the only birthday present I could get are gift cards."

Matt's idea of a fun day was indeed a fun day. He drove us out to Akron and we went to the zoo for a couple hours. It was simple enough but being with Matt and Brittany made it a lot of fun. After the zoo, Matt treated us to a nice lunch at a small, trendy cafe in downtown Akron and we went to get frozen yogurt for dessert. It was a pretty great day and the weather was perfect for it.

"This was the best birthday ever," Brittany said one we got back. She threw her arms around Matt. "I underestimate you, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'd underestimate me, too." A goofy grin stayed plastered on his face.

"I'm going to go see Grams, do you want to come Matt?"

"I visited her Thursday when I got in but I have to go to the courts, we have conference in a few weeks."

"Oh, I forgot about that. Alright, well I guess I'll see you soon then."

Matt pouted. "Okay." He grabbed our bags for us, Brittany grabbed her birthday presents, and I grabbed a snack.

Brittany said her sad goodbye

We walked to Brittany's car.

"Okay, you two. Drive safe, say "hi" to Gram for me. Santana, it was so great meeting you. I hope to see you again soon!" He grabbed me in a bear hug. "Oh, and you too, Brittany."

"Shut up!" She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. "Good luck, Matt. Call me soon."

"I will."

I wished Matt good luck with Nicole and we headed out of the driveway. He smiled from the porch and waved goodbye to us.

* * *

**Whoo! What do you think of her family? Her mom?! And what's up with this Lindsay?**

**Thanks for reading!**

**I also wanted to say this is my last chapter before starting back up at college. I'm hoping I'll still be able to update weekly but things may get in the way. Please be patient, I would estimate that we're about two thirds of the way through the story. I know I don't have thousands of readers but I appreciate everyone who even takes the time to read a paragraph of this. So I would never abandon this story! :)**


	13. Chapter XIII

**There's just a tad bit of swimming in this chapter and Santana swims a 500 free (What?! I thought swim season was over!) which requires a lap counter. A lap counter in a swim meet is a person (often a teammate) who sits at the opposite side of the swimming pool with a plastic counter that can be flipped to express different helps the swimmer keep track of which lap they are on in longer events. Every lap, as the swimmer nears that end of the pool, the person lap counting puts the counter into the water before the flip turn. The count goes up by two from the first lap. (ie. 1, 3, 5,...) because the swimmer has done two lengths of the pool. **

**In the 500 free, a total of 20 laps is swam. On lap number 19, instead of turning the counter to 19, it will be turned to all red. This indicates to the swimmer that he/she only has one more length of the pool to swim after the flip turn.**

**Also, there's a trigger warning in this chapter. Many of you probably guessed it! If you're unsure, please PM me and I'll be more than happy to tell you.**

**Alright, enough blabbing. Dive in!**

* * *

"Is it alright if we see my grandma before heading back to Lima, Santana?" Brittany confirmed with me, even though I knew her mind was already made up.

"Of course," I answered. "Is she in a home?"

Brittany nodded. "It's a nursing home but there's also small apartment-like places on the upper floors for less-dependent people, like my grandma. It's about 15 minutes away and I think that's just about when her Scrabble group meets."

"Are you really close with her?"

"Very. I used to be at her house almost every day growing up. She's really emotionally strong woman. My grandpa died when my mom was only 16 and since my mom was the youngest kid, she was out a few years later. Once Mom was gone, Grams devoted her life to the church and volunteering. She never did find another man, I guess Jesus was her man after Gramps."

"The Church?" I questioned, suddenly really curious.

"Mhmm. She's a devout Methodist." I knew Brittany had a semi-religious upbringing, not as extensive as my Catholic upbringing but it was there, nonetheless. Brittany herself was raised Methodist but not nearly as hardcore as I had been raised Catholic. Now, as an adult, she wasn't exactly sure where she stood on religion. She said she was a "curious-agnostic." It's never been a problem between us though. I talk a big talk about some things and I judge people about a lot of things but religion was never one of them. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about religion.

"Does she know about you and...women?"

Brittany shrugged. "I've never exactly told her in so many words. She's the kindest woman alive but I'm afraid of her reaction. You know? She was so in with the church and their practices. However, I do remember times where she told me she disagreed with some of the things they taught and what they said. I know I tell you all the time that know people who really care about you wouldn't care if you were straight or not but she's different."

"There's an exception to every rule," I agreed. "I still go to church every weekend and most Catholics are definitely not cool with the homos. Granted, at times it feels weird..." I trailed off. "But if you've never told her differently, she'd never have a reason to not think you're straight."

"Well, she met Lindsay a few years ago. And although Lindsay respected that she didn't know, she made an offhand comment alluding to our relationship and I'm not sure if Grams caught it."

"What did Lindsay say?" This 'Lindsay' was still a mystery to me. Of course, I was speculating about her but I still wasn't sure.

"Grams said something like 'Lindsay, a girl like you must have boys lining up to date you. Do you have a special guy?' Lindsay is so charming and everyone thought she was a real catch. Lindsay laughed and said 'Well no, not any guys...' and then glanced at me for a little too long. She didn't mean to. Well, I think she didn't. You never did know with Lindsay."

"Lindsay seems like a hoot," I said flatly. "Has she asked you about it since?"

"Not anymore. She asks me 'How is your dating life, Britty?' and I just say 'Grams, if I get engaged, I'll make sure you're the first to know.' And it seems to suffice."

"'Britty'? That's adorable."

Brittany turned down a street and to a large building that looked similar to an apartment complex. Once we walked into the beautiful building, it no longer seemed like an apartment complex. It's a nice place; it's classy, like Brittany's family. There were an abundance of senior citizens ambling around with walkers, canes, or wheelchairs. Nurses walk back and forth, clearly with a destination in mind. Brittany lead me across the lobby. I looked around as we walked and saw common areas for all of the residents. There was a TV room, a room with a piano, a dining hall, and a room where a bunch of residents were mulling over a few puzzles. We stop at a set of elevators.

"This place is really nice," I said.

"It is. Grams is definitely all there in the mind, but she just wasn't able to take care of herself and her house like she used to after she broke a hip. My mom tried to convince Grams to stay at our house instead of coming here but she didn't want to cause a nuisance at our house, but she wouldn't have it. This is a way better place than our house anyway. She gets to be around all these people and make old people friends." Brittany lit up when she talked about her grandma. There was this love and bond that they shared and it was admirable and adorable at the same time.

"How long has she been here?"

The elevator dings and we walked in. Brittany pressed the '3' level, the highest level. "Umm, we moved her in the summer before I started college, so almost 4 years. She loves it here. My mom will come and take her out at least once a week and the nurses check on her twice a day. Plus, there's all these activities she can do here. They even have a pool in the basement where she does water aerobics."

Brittany led me down a hallway and we walked passed doors with cute decorations and name plates. We stopped at 'Room 321- Margaret Held.' Right as Brittany was about to knock on the door, she looked around, seeing an empty hallway, and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"By the way, do you mind just being my _friend_ for this visit?"

I chuckled. "I got the memo earlier."

She squeezed my hand and lightly knocked on the door.

"Come in," a woman voice said from within the room.

Brittany opened the door to a very small apartment, if you could call it that. I would say it was just a bit bigger than most college dorm rooms. It was completely immaculate. On the far side was a twin size bed, perfectly made. A dresser and nightstand were placed on the very far wall, past the bed. On the right side of the room there was a door, which I presumed led to a bathroom, a sink, stove, microwave, and, and another door, which was most likely a closet. on the opposite side of the room, was a small couch and a little rocking-type chair. A cross graced the wall above the bed on the otherwise bare walls.

Her grandma was sitting in the chair with a pair of knitting needles and a ball of yarn that led to the ground. Her grandma looked like the stereotypical senior citizen. Her grey hair was perfectly styled in curls around her head, not any longer than the back of her neck. She was a petite woman. Her glasses were perched at the end of her nose and she was wearing a simple fitted cotton red shirt and jeans.

As soon as we walked in, she set her knitting aside and rose to greet us.

"Britty!" She exclaimed. Her voice was crisp and alert. "What a surprise! And on your birthday too! Happy birthday!" She was shorter than me so Brittany bent down so her grandma could wrap her arms around her in a hug and give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Of course, Grams. I wouldn't have missed seeing you! How are you?"

"I'm good. I was just knitting some pot holders for Loretta next door. She needed some."

"That's sweet of you, Grams. What happened to that scarf you were going to knit me?"

Her grandma chuckled. "I've knitted you a million scarves and you always end up losing them!"

"Scarves are just easy for me to lose," Brittany mumbled.

Her grandma shook her head as if to say _What are we going to do with you, Britty?_ The she glanced at me before looking back at Brittany. "Where's your manners?" She joked. "Aren't you going to introduce me?"

"Oh, this is Santana, Grams. She came from Lima to spend the weekend here."

"Santana," her grandma repeated. "That's a beautiful name. You can call me Margaret, or Meg, or Grams, whichever you prefer." Margaret. I've always liked that name. But I felt comfortable enough to call her Grams.

"It's very nice to meet you, Grams." I smiled to her and she took my hand in a firm handshake.

After a little small talk and a birthday present from Grams, we went down to the bottom floor to play Scrabble with some of the other residents.

"Now, I usually play with my group over there," Grams explained, pointing to a few residents at a square card table. "But I'll go tell them that I'm going to play a few rounds with you. Maybe it'll give one of them a chance to win for once," she joked. Her wit more than surprised me, it was unexpected but refreshing at the same time.

After setting up and starting to play Scrabble, we started talking more.

"Britty, how was that birthday party last night?"

"Oh, it was good. I had a lot of fun and I got to see a lot of old friends."

They continued their dialogue about the party for a few minutes while we played our Scrabble game. Right as I drew two more Scrabble letters, Grams turned to me and said, "You're not very good at Scrabble are you?"

I looked back down at the word I just put down, 'Hop.' Then I glanced over to the score sheet that Brittany was taking and realized that I was far, far behind the two of them.

"I'm valedictorian and I can't even play Scrabble," I muttered under my breath before I blushed with a light chuckle and said to Grams, "I guess playing Scrabble with an English major..." I pointed to Brittany with my eyes and looked back towards Grams. "...and a weekly Scrabble connoisseur is not the best combination for my first time."

"Well, we can pause the game for awhile," Grams said. "Tell me about you, Santana. You're a very pretty girl. Where are you originally from?"

"I was born here in Ohio but my parents were both born in Mexico."

Grams seemed to be thinking for a few moments. "If I'm not mistaken, the majority of Mexicans are Catholics. If you don't mind me asking, are you religious?"

"Grams!" Brittany scolded.

"No," I assured Grams. "It's alright. And you are correct. My parents are strong Catholics so I was raised Catholic and I was confirmed a few years ago."

"I see... The Catholics are very similar to Methodists, kind of like cousins. Now, are you a staunch believer in everything that the Catholic church preaches?"

Rarely do I talk about religion or politics. It's usually unspoken in our house because it usually leads to fights that are unwanted. Religion has been a weird subject with me lately, anyway. My parents were still adamant that I attend church every weekend but somedays it was harder for me to go, knowing the Catholic church's views on homosexuality. I could never just stop though. It's been such a strong part of my life for so long and I still believed in God. It was just a lot harder to deal with the politics of it all now. Maybe I was being naive, since it is all I've ever known. I was confused to say the least.

At my silence, Grams added, "For instance, abortion or... homosexuality?"

In that instance, both Brittany and I knew that Grams knew. Brittany and I both tried to stifle our surprise.

I was caught completely off guard, too. "Um, you know... there's a lot of things that people have differing opinions on. I don't think that any organization or group should be able to tell women what to do with their own bodies, especially male authority figures. And, umm, the Church or the government shouldn't be able to tell people who they can love. The God that I was raised to know loves everyone, unconditionally, no matter who they are and what they've done."

Grams smiled, satisfied at my answer that turned out to sound more eloquent than I thought it would. Brittany still had a stunned expression on her face. I'm sure this is the last thing she thought we'd be talking about at _Scrabble Time with Grams_.

"People like to pick and choose which parts of the Bible they take seriously and which parts they ignore completely," Grams stated. "If we followed everything that the Bible said, we sure wouldn't be where we are today."

I nodded in agreement. Luckily, the conversation lightened and never readdressed. Nor was the fact that her Grams knew about the two of us. Yet it wasn't the elephant in the room, it was just like an unsaid truth. Except, I was still comfortable around here. It didn't make me feel awkward or more reserved.

Aside from her abrupt and forward beginnings, I came to really like Grams. She really captivated me with her words and her experiences. I could see exactly why she meant so much to Brittany. She was such a genuine person but she was quick-witted and intelligent. After about an hour and a half, Brittany reluctantly told Grams that we needed to head back. Grams led us to the door. Brittany gave her a giant hug and I followed suit.

"Keep an eye on Britty, Santana. It was very nice meeting you."

"Someone's gotta keep her in line!" I smiled. "It was nice meeting you too."

"Bye, Grams. See you soon," Brittany said.

Brittany planted a kiss on Grams' cheek and we left.

In the parking lot, when we were out of view from the front door, Brittany reached over and put her arm around my waist, pulling me closer.

"God, she totally knows," she giggled into my ear.

"I know," I confirmed. "She's sly."

"She likes you. More than my mom."

"At least someone does," I joked.

She kissed me lightly on the cheek and asked, "Santana, can you drive? It's my birthday." She cheekily grinned.

I laughed. "Yes, I'll drive."

Brittany directed me back to the freeway. From there I decided that I needed to confront her about Lindsay. These days in Canton had made it apparent that Lindsay was a big part of Brittany's life and had a huge impact on her. But it also made it apparent that I didn't know the full story nor did I know the anything more than the few sentences she said about her. It seemed like everyone knew this giant secret that I could only keep guessing about. I even had scenarios play through my head of what may have happened. The more I thought about it, the worse the scenarios got.

I took my hand off the steering wheel and put it on her thigh; she easily placed hers on top of mine and held it.

"Brittany?"

"Mhmm?"

"Look, I think you need to tell me about Lindsay. Like the whole story?"

Brittany sighed. I felt her grip on my hand loosen only slightly. I glanced at her. Her other hand was on her mouth, like she was thinking.

"Is this because of what my mom said?"

"Kind of. I, uh, I don't want you to be mad but I asked Matt about it too; when you were sleeping. He told me that it was something you should tell me."

"I told you…" She said almost defensively. She retracted and in a softer tone said, "We just dated in college and it ended kind of badly."

"Brittany." My voice sounded rigid and harsh. "We both know that you're not telling me the whole story."

I heard her sigh. "Yeah, you're right. I'm not."

I glanced back at her and then back at the road. She pressed her lips together.

"It was my first year at LU when I met her. She was a sophomore and basically the 'it girl' on campus. Everyone knew her from her stellar breakout performance at a freshman where she became one of the top 100 NCAA ranked tennis players. Besides that, she was gorgeous, smart, and very, very charismatic. You know Sara right?" Sara was one of Brittany's friends that I met a few times. I nodded.

Brittany continued, "Well Sara and I met at freshman orientation and then met up the first week of school. She also played tennis for LU and invited me to a party where I was introduced to Lindsay. There was an immediate attraction and we hit it off immediately. We became really close friends. She would try to come to all of the Dancing Bean things and I'd go to all of her tennis matches if I could. The close friendship that we had quickly grew into more. By the end of my first semester, we were dating and having sex." She glanced at me. "Do you want me to leave out small details?"

"No, I want to know everything."

"Dating Lindsay Graham was anything but easy. She didn't hide it, per se, but she didn't want to be some huge gay athlete symbol or anything so we never made a big deal about it. She barely acknowledged that we were even girlfriends because she was scared of the baggage that came with using that word. She was hot and I was intoxicated by her.

"The few people who knew about the kind of relationship we had thought it was so cute. And it was, on the outside. We seemed perfect. I would even go play tennis with Lindsay and some of the other tennis girls, just for fun and to be with her. I acted like everything was fine, trying not to believe that I was in such a toxic relationship, but we literally fought all the time. The fights were over the smallest of things but blew way out of proportions. A fight about where to go for dinner turned into a fight about how she thought I was in love with Shae or something outrageous like that. I loved her so much though, and I came back to her every single time. I know she did love me, there's no way she didn't but she realized that she could manipulate me. She would always be mad when we couldn't hang out. Then whenever she dipped out on plans, it was no big deal. She would get mad when I hung out with other friends."

She paused and I looked at her. I couldn't read the expression on her face. "Are you crying?" I asked.

She half heartedly laughed. "No. Just… It's weird to talk about this after so long."

"Britt, you don't have to."

"No, I do. You need to know. Uh, when the end of the year came around, we had this 'agreement' because she wanted to have sex with other people since we would be so far away from each other. She broke the terms in the agreement and it was a whole ordeal in itself. I forgave her of course. Then fast forward to the spring of my sophomore year and dozens of fights and arguments, she was a junior and she lost a conference match that could have set her back for nationals. I—I went with her to the parking lot to console her afterwards and then she… uh…" Brittany was stammering. "She hit me."

I gasped. Although Molly had basically told me that part, I was still just as surprised. And angry. No, more than angry. I was pissed and in shock. I had no idea who Lindsay was but any respect that she would ever have from me. You don't hit someone like Brittany. No matter how mad you are, no matter the circumstances, it doesn't happen. You don't hit Brittany or anyone else. I had no words, I couldn't say anything to Brittany.

It's a good thing that she didn't wait for me to say anything and continued, "I was trying to talk some sense into her and she wouldn't listen." Her voice grew wary. "I can still remember it like it was yesterday. I said 'Lindsay, this is double elimination. You can still win conference and make it to nationals.' She was spinning her racquet in her hand and she only does that when she's anxious or mad. So many unwanted tears fell down her face. She said 'Stop, Brittany because you don't even know!' I said, 'I'm tired of you acting like I'm stupid. I guess I'll never be good enough for Lindsay Graham! I mean, all you do is lie to me and cheat on me...' And I had more to say to her, I sure did. It was like a year and a half of pent up anger all coming out. But before I could say anything more, I saw her racquet twirl one last time before she raised it up and sliced it right through the air."

Brittany took a deep breath. "You know, it's weird. I knew her racquet hit me, I felt the sensation right below my shoulder but I could _really_ feel it. I was stunned for, like, 15 seconds. And then the pain finally registered through my skin, muscles, and down to my bones."

Brittany's recollection of the incident was morbidly beautiful. It was so raw and so real. It was a good thing that I was driving so I had something else to focus on. If I had to take this on full force, I don't know if I could have been strong enough to hear it all.

"It ended up leaving a huge bruise and people could easily notice it." Her voice started to quiver. She took a few seconds to regroup. "But once I looked into her eyes and see the remorse, tears, and surprise of what she did, I knew it that moment I would forgive her. So I blamed it on a car door. Of course, she apologized profusely. I was naïve, she used her charm and manipulation and I... I was right, I did forgive her.

"We continued our relationship which just spiraled downhill really fast. She cheated on me more and just flat out treated me like shit. Except when we were in public, the suddenly I was her princess. Eventually though, by the end of the school year, about two months later, I came to my senses and broke it off with her for good. Ironically, it was a few days after she lost the national singles championship in the quarterfinals.

"That's kind of also why I stopped dancing for LU the next year. I was tired of all the parties and events that were required. All the athletes, cheerleaders, and dancers seemed to run in the same circle and she would have been everywhere. I wouldn't have been able to get over her if I had to be around her all the time. All she had to do was tell me she was sorry again and that she loved me and I would have gone back to her. I never did have the courage to tell anyone about her hitting me, except Sara, Shae, and Molly. But eventually my family found out."

"Brittany, I had no idea. I can't even begin to imagine what that must've been like. I'm so sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. It's not your fault, not at all."

"I just can't believe it. Did your parents ever meet her?"

"They met her at a few times when they came to Lima to visit and she stayed with me a few times over the summer we were together. Of course they loved her because she was so polite and respectful. Then they noticed a difference in me when I came home though. I was always stressed out. Lindsay would go crazy if I didn't text or call her like every freaking second. Matt knew about her hitting me because he guessed it. When I told the parents, my mom wanted to press charges; it's the lawyer in her, but it wasn't even worth it. I didn't take a picture of it or anything. There'd basically be no case, even for someone like my mom."

"Do you still talk to her?"

"She stayed at LU to get her Master's and I've seen her a few times around campus. She'll strike up a conversation, or she'll text me that it was great seeing me or something. She's so overbearing though, I feel like I have to talk to her just so she'll leave me alone. Her whole existence in my life was just a big learning experience. I'm able to read through people's lies and charm a lot easier and I can finally stand up for myself. I also, will never, ever, treat anyone the way she treated me. No one deserves that."

"I love you, Brittany. You are the strongest person I know. You've been through so much and I can't even imagine what it's been like. All of this just makes you stronger. I just want you to know that no matter what, I'm never ever going to do that."

She squeezed my hand and I could sense her smiling.

"That's a good thing. I'm pretty sure you're stronger than Lindsay." I admired her for trying to lighten the mood.

"Water is a lot more resistant than a tiny tennis ball," I confirmed. "Was it hard to finally move on?"

"Yeah at first but we all have to move on sometimes. And you know? All of this, I always wondered why I was the one going through it. I think I'm a pretty good person and I wondered why I got the eating disorder, why I got the abusive relationship. But I really believe in karma too and…" She didn't finish her sentence.

"And…?" I asked.

"I got you. So it's well worth it."

I grinned like a little kid. "I love you, Britt."

The rest of the ride home, we didn't talk about Lindsay anymore. I knew what I needed to know, whether I wanted to know or not. There was a part of me that was sad that she hadn't told me sooner but I realized that it takes incredible trust in someone to confide in them and tell them something like that. It wasn't easy for Brittany to tell me and it definitely wasn't easy for me to hear. Now that I do know though, it just makes me want to treat her how she deserves to be treated even more.

Brittany fell asleep towards the last fourth of the drive and my mind wandered yet again.

Thinking about the way that Lindsay treated Brittany honestly made me sick to my stomach. We don't have the perfect relationship, by any means. We argue and fight but they always help us in the end. We try to grow and learn from it. I couldn't fathom ever being violent. What kills me even more is that Brittany forgave her and that Brittany continued to go back to her, time after time. She has such a huge heart and I can only hope that she only knew that I do have enough love it fill it.

We got back to Lima at 8. I called my mom.

"Mom? Are you guys working?"

"Yeah, we'll be home in an hour or so. Did you have a good time?"

"Yes, a great time. I'll fill you in when you aren't so busy."

"Sounds great. Are you and Brittany doing well?"

"Um, yeah, we're good." I wondered what my mom was getting at. "When do you want me home?" I asked.

There was a few seconds of silence on the other end. "I want you to come home, get Brittany's birthday present off the table, and be at church for mass tomorrow."

Wait. Was my mom subtly telling me to stay the night with Brittany? On her own accord? Not mine? Wow. This was a historic first.

"Wait, what? Really?"

"Yes, don't make me regret it," she said hastily. "I don't want details. Tell Brittany happy birthday from us. I love you."

"Te quiero. Thanks."

"What's up, babe?" She asked.

"Uhh, she told me to go home, get your present from the table and be at church in the morning."

I watched as Brittany's smile spread across her face.

* * *

"Do you know what it is?" She asked looking at the present that we took from my house and was now sitting on her table.

"I have no idea."

"They really didn't have to."

"They wanted to!"

It was a pretty small box with an envelope, probably a card. She opened the card first. There was a handwritten note and a lottery ticket.

Brittany read out loud, "_Brittany, instead of getting you a $3 card that you'd eventually throw away, we decided to get you a $3 lottery ticket that you'd actually have a chance to earn something. Have a great 22nd birthday!_ Signed Isabella, Jorge, and Ellie. Aww, that's such a good idea!"

She grabbed the box from the table and carefully unwrapped it. It was a candle; a really nice candle. She picked it up and read the label. "French Vanilla." She opened the lid and smelled the handle. "Mmm, my absolute favorite."

"I guess they knew that you love candles and vanilla. Maybe I talk about you just a little too much."

"They're so kind. That wasn't even necessary, letting me have you for my birthday was definitely enough."

"So, a great birthday?"

"A perfect birthday," she said, kissing my shoulder.

Brittany walked around to the kitchen and shuffled around. She came back a few seconds later with a lighter in her hand. She took the candle from the table and took my hand. On the way to her room, she turned off the main lights.

We floated into her room. She put the candle on her dresser, lit it, and then turned off the lights in the room. It was dark but not completely pitch black. I could see the outlines of every perfect feature on Brittany. I felt her come closer to me. Her hand grazed my cheek and I felt her fingers through my hair. Her other hand went to the small of my back and was steady and strong.

"Hey, Santana. Guess what?"

"What?" I said, stepping closer to her.

"It's my birthday," she whispered in my ear. It sent shivers all the way down my spine.

I closed the gap between Brittany and I and let our bodies collide against each other. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her as close as I could. She pressed her lips to mine. Every time she kissed me, it was a whole new experience. I felt something new every time, more excitement, emotion, more of everything. She ran her fingers through my hair again.

"You know, no one has ever made me feel that way, the way you made me feel a few weeks ago," I said.

Brittany was kissing my neck and pushing me towards her bed. "No one drives me as crazy as you do."

She was on top of me on her bed still kissing my neck. "And I'm sorry it was just me last time. I know I already told you but still," I was confessing to her through heavy breathing because of what she was doing to me. "I would have to you, if I knew how, I just.."

She stopped and looked down at to me. "Santana, don't worry. It was so nice for me. It was amazing actually."

My shirt was half off by now. "I just, I want to be able to make you feel like I did."

Brittany smiled. "I did feel it." She said it with such sincerity. "But if you insist... Try it."

She pulled my shirt completely off and I took off hers. It doesn't take very long until we're both naked. Suddenly, I had the urge to go for it. I leaned up, rolled Brittany around, and hovered over her. I pressed our bodies together and kissed her. She slightly spread her legs open and I pushed one of my legs in between and lowered my hips down on her. I put soft kisses all over her face, neck, and ears.

I work my way down her body, leaving a trail of kisses on her breasts and stomach until I'm in between her legs.

"I don't really know what I'm doing," I tell her while I put a hand on each side of her hips. "I'm just going to. Will you tell me if it hurts?"

"Yes. But I promise you'll know when it feels good," she panted. I could tell she was just dying for me to do it.

I knew what you're supposed to do but I was scared. I loved Brittany so much and all I wanted to do was make her feel the way she deserves. I kiss her center and feel her wetness. I open my mouth and gently let my tongue graze her. I let it slide between her and tasted Brittany. It was different than I thought, tangy almost, I didn't mind it. I liked it, I wanted to taste Brittany. I pushed my tongue further into her and gently squeezed her sides to get leverage.

As my tongue explored this newfound space, I closed my eyes and listened to Brittany's breathing. At first it was steady and then it became increasingly faster with my every movement. I realized that I was actually doing this correctly. I sucked and licked more, putting all of my feelings into her, and feeling it myself too.

"Santana.." She moaned. "Santana! D—don't stop." So I didn't.

Her panting quickened and her body tensed as I flicked my tongue even faster.

After one final push of my tongue, I felt her release. Brittany grabbed my hand. I took my tongue out and sucked on the most sensitive spot of her body while she caught her breath and came down from her high. I crawled back up to her and fell into her warm body.

Our mouths found each other, our tongues still excited and lively. Brittany moans something in my ear that drives me crazy, even though I couldn't even distinguish what she said. I roll off her and to the side. She put her hand on my arm and ran her fingers down the side.

Before I knew it, she was inside of me, pumping her hand in and out as she seemed to be able to find every spot to drive me crazy. She pushed me closer and closer to the brink, and all I could do is hold onto her. I felt her curl her fingers inside of me and push up against me. I was sent over the edge and I threw my head back in total pleasure.

She removed her fingers from me and sucked on them before putting her mouth on mine, kissing me with a little aggression. As soon as I recovered, I kissed her back even harder. After a few moments of our tongues having the most wonderful battle, she lightly bit my bottom lip and I pulled back. I smiled at her and she returned it with a even bigger smile.

"Are you sure you've never done this?" She whispered in my ear, still a little breathless.

I grinned, turned to face her, and cupped her cheek with my hand, just to feel its softness. She was so beautiful. Every time I look at her, I feel my heart exploding out of me.

"You are so freaking gorgeous," I tell her. "I love you so much, Brittany. Please, don't ever forget that."

She smiles. "I know you do. And I'll never forget. I can't ever forget. You've made me the happiest person in the world. I love you too."

I quickly fell asleep in Brittany's arms. I hadn't realized how tired I was until we were done.

* * *

I awoke to Brittany gently shaking me. She reminded me that I had mass to get to. She gave me coffee to wake up and offered me breakfast. I took a banana and a kiss before leaving.

"Someone's late…" Ellie teased and scooted over to let me in the pew.

"It hasn't even started yet!" I whispered sharply.

"Okay, you barely made it. How was the trip? How was her birthday? Her family?"

"GIRLS! SHH," my mom hissed.

I recollected all the memories from just the day before. Talking to Grams helped me realize that I shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable in my own church. It should be a place where I can pray and talk to God about everything that I'm going through. Being gay and a Catholic isn't very common and it's hard to feel like I belong in the church. Every time I went, more and more people had discovered the truth about me. I had a strange paranoia, I felt as if there were people there that were uncomfortable in my presence; people who thought I didn't belong here.

"You drove here, Santana?" My mom asked me after mass.

"Yeah, if you guys don't mind, I'm just going to stay for a few more minutes, I need to... do some spiritual thinking"

My dad looked proud. "Certainly."

"You better fill me in immediately when you get home," Ellie whispered when she passed.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Ellie. See you in a little."

I didn't stay too terribly long; just long enough for what I needed. I always thought about if I woke up one day, only having the things that I thanked God for the day before. It helped me to remember to always appreciate what I had.

I felt more cleansed and refreshed after and I departed from my spot and walked into the lobby.

"Hey Santana." It was Abigail, a junior who was in my youth group, I occasionally saw her at school. We weren't friends, she was so opinionated but was such a goody-two-shoes; even more so than Rachel Berry. I just didn't really like her personality. I knew she wasn't as good as she projected herself to be.

"Hi Abigail," I said, almost dismissing her greeting. I wasn't in the mood for her.

"You can call me Abby," she said. She was standing in front of the doors so I couldn't really just walk around her.

"That's alright, Abigail," I ignored her request.

"I didn't expect to see you here so late after mass."

"Perhaps even mere sinners like me need to get their prayer on sometimes," I mocked how I believed she perceived me. I already knew where this conversation was going.

"We're all sinners but it's really good of you to stay later. I didn't see you at youth group Wednesday night."

"I was at Jenna's, I wasn't aware we had youth group during spring break."

She slightly snuck her nose up; she was too good for parties. "Did you have fun?"

"If you mean did I get drunk, then no. But I did have fun."

She looked around. "Weren't you with your family?"

"Yeah, but we drove separately. I stayed at a friend's house last night."

"Who? Jenna? Colby? Brooke?"

"No but it's really none of your business."

"Who?" She pressed.

"Does it matter?" I almost yelled back.

"You know, Santana," she said, her voice calm. "You can think a girl is pretty but that doesn't mean you start a relationship with her. You're pretty, but I don't want to date you. Have you ever thought maybe it's a phase?"

"No," I said flatly. "I can honestly say that has never crossed my mind."

"It's against God's will, what you're doing. It's against His plan for you."

"So God specifically told you His plan for me?" I challenged her.

"Well, no, not exactly like that. But you and I both know what I mean."

"Actually I don't," I said before completely blowing my cool. "Listen here you Emma Stone-wannabe. First, you will never capture the complete Emma Stone look with roots like that. Second, you don't know anything about me. And third, you're honestly acting like you know nothing about God or Jesus. My whole life, God had taught me to love everyone, equally, for who they are. 'Love thy neighbor as thyself.' From what I know, God created us all differently; we were all special in His eyes. He created me individually to be like no other person on this planet. He created me to be like this. This is His plan for me."

"Just because we're all special doesn't make doing something wrong right. Does that make a murderer a good man?" She asked, fixing her hair at my roots comment.

My jaw dropped slightly. "You did not just compare me with a murderer. My sexuality doesn't make me a different person or a bad person. No one follows the Bible verse for verse, there are so many different contextual meanings that it could have, we'll never know." I could feel my temper rising even further and the vein in my forehead that shows when I get angry. "But for future reference, there are murderers who find themselves through Christ in jail. Are you familiar with Karla Faye Tucker?"

She stared at me blankly.

"I figured," I said, satisfied with stooping her. "She was a murderer and was sentenced to the death penalty. She became a Christian during her incarceration and when the injection was being administered, she praised Jesus." I saw that on her face that she thought I was rambling so I wrapped up. Just to keep her on her toes, I said, "I don't know how you never heard of her, it was highly publicized in the late 1990's... But I digress."

"Oh, yeah. Because everyone is familiar with woman murderer trials from the 90's," she said, dismissing the topic. But it didn't stop her from going on. "You know, you used to be someone who I looked up to. I wanted to be like you. No matter what you said to people, even if you were being mean, everyone still loved you and you were so popular. You seemed perfect. Now, I want nothing less than to be like you. Yeah, it's cool that you can swim fast and be smart but you're not the same person that you were."

I snorted a laugh in astonishment. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Really? You want to tell me who I am? Because you know me so well," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. If we weren't in church, I was pretty sure my words would be a lot harsher. "I'm the same freaking person I was a year ago, I'm just a lot happier. Maybe I'm trying to reconnect with God right now because of different things in my life. At least I'm trying and I'm here. Isn't that what matters? I came here for myself. I didn't come here to listen to the ramblings of close minded people who feel the need to criticize anyone who is different and anyone who decides they want people to know them for who they really are."

"You want them to know the truth? Even if it's against their morals? Even if they don't believe in what you think? Even when it makes them uncomfortable?" Her voice was cracking.

"If telling the truth makes me a bad person, Abigail, then I'll be the worst person on Earth. At least I'm not the one lying to myself and to everyone else. The only person who will know I'm telling the truth, the only one who matters, it's God. And that's all I care about."

She didn't know what else to say. I smirked and nodded at her, walking towards the door. Right before I walked out, I turned back around. "Remember in Leviticus how it says a man should not lie with a man as he lies with a woman? The verse where everyone stems their religious prejudice against homosexuals?" Abigail nodded. I continued, "Leviticus also says that getting tattoos is a sin. Do you care to show me that one that you so proudly got of...a cross if I remember correctly. Oops, that might be the pot calling the kettle black just a tad bit." I researched exhaustively on these topics before coming out to my parents. I knew they would make a big deal about homosexuality and religion so I made sure to be prepared. And I never forgot it. I couldn't.

Abby was left stunned and all I could just feel her cross tattoo on her hip mocking her. I didn't say anymore to her and walked out of the church feeling both relieved and sad. I felt a little bad for being so rude to her but then again, it's not like she tried to see it through my eyes. I just went with my gut. I really believed everything that I told Abby, I backed myself 100% and I felt good about myself. I may not be certain on where I stood with God and my feelings about religion but I sure wanted to make sure that I knew my stuff. This wasn't the first time that I'd be confronted like this and it surely wouldn't be the last.

* * *

I saw a familiar face walk up to me the morning before class started; Kyle. We had become pretty good friends by now. We didn't talk everyday but when we were around each other, we always had a good conversation.

"Hey, are you going to prom?" He asked nonchalantly.

Prom. With everything happening around me, I even forgot prom was happening.

I told him, "I haven't been asked yet."

"Okay. I'm only asking you because I have a friend who wants to go with you."

"Do they know I have a girlfriend? And that prom is in like a month?"

"Yeah, but he thinks you're really cool and wants someone who likes to dance."

"Alright whatever," I said, skeptically.

"Just trust me…" With that, he took off.

I mentally went through a list of people in my head and I couldn't think of anyone. By this time, most people had prom dates. I wasn't even planning on going to prom. All of my friends were going and yeah, it did seem like a rite of passage to go to your senior prom but I wasn't excited about it. Ever since I started dating Brittany, things like this didn't excite me anymore. I selfishly wished that the guy Kyle was talking about wasn't weird. Prom was such a hassle, too. I remembered going last year with Puck and it's fun but it's not all it's cracked up to be.

Not only that but the whole process of getting a dress and jewelry is exhausting! I love shopping as much as the next girl but prom dress shopping is just so hard. The dress has to be perfect and the shoes have to be perfect. Then again, it is nice to feel beautiful and perfect for a one night. And who knows, maybe it'd turn out better than I thought.

Later on that day, I was in class doodling on my notes, when Coach Sylvester came over the intercom. She was announcing prom court. To my surprise, I was nominated for Queen. I had to admit though, it made me excited to be nominated.

I had to push all these prom thoughts to the back of my mind and went to practice after school.

"Hey, Santana, come here," the club coach, Coach Langley said before I jumped in.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I talked with your parents and they said you were free this Saturday so I signed you up for the recreation meet."

I snorted. "Why?" And with a chuckle, said, "I haven't swam in a rec meet since... 2009?"

He shrugged. "Actually, maybe 2008. But it's just a dual and it's our rival—"

"The Columbus Crusaders," I finished his sentence. The rivalry was intense between us. As soon as I knew that, I was okay with swimming in the meet and giving up my Saturday. I'd give up a lot to show those Crusaders who's the real premier club swim team in Ohio.

He nodded. "And four of our best swimmers will be gone and we need the points. Quinn will be there too."

"What am I in?" I asked before putting my goggles over my eyes.

"The 500 free, the 200 back, 50 free, and a relay." Although the 200 back isn't an event in high school, it is in USA swimming and it was easily one of my favorites.

"500 and the 50?" I rhetorically asked. "Santana Lopez-The definition of versatility." I winked at Langley.

He chuckled. "Get in!"

I smirked and dove in.

That Saturday, I went to the swim meet. Luckily it was hosted here so it wasn't that big of a deal. I wasn't really focused on my times because I knew I would win. I know that sounds conceited but there was just no way that anyone here at this meet was faster than me. So I don't worry too much about it. I just wanted to kick Crusader's ass. We clearly had the meet in our hands form the very first event, I was not worried at all.

Quinn walked over to me a few heats before my 500. "Hey, Santana, I'm going to lap count for you in the 500."

"Thanks. Don't screw me up."

"Oh, I will," she nodded. "I'll make you swim an extra 50."

"Oh my gosh!" I laughed. "Remember when Leah did that? I totally remember putting fown the red!"

She laughed. "She's such a ditz."

I stepped up on the blocks, in lane 4, and dove off to start my 500. I already swam backstroke, Quinn swam the 100 back so we weren't against each other and we both easily won. The 50 free was a breeze too.

I swam a fast first 100 and then went easy on the middle 200. It's not really how you're supposed to do it. You're supposed to build from your first but I was a little tired anyway. Then on the last 150, I took it out again. I wasn't paying much attention to Quinn's lap counting and I think I was on my last 50, I wasn't sure. I had already lapped my competition once and I was close to lapping them again so swimming even faster was the last thing on my mind.

As I swim to the far wall, I look for the red on the counter and it's not there. I squint through my goggles. I think the counter says "Prom?" I was really confused. I assume that also means that I'm on my last lap but I'm still not sure. I just assume that I'm done and I sprint quickly back to the finish. I tap the touchpad and glance at the time, not my best but I was a lot more intrigued by what just happened.

I take off my goggles and squinted down to the far end of the lane. It's Quinn standing with Kyle. I smile and hop out of the pool. I trot down the side of the pool where they meet me. Despite the fact that there were still swimmers finishing up their last few laps, the whole meet seemed to stop to hear my answer.

"Kyle," I said as I approached them. "Quinn... I'll have you both know that because of these shenanigans, I almost pulled a Leah and swam an extra 50! But, I have to admit, that was adorable. Of course I'll go to prom with you!" I threw my arms around him and give him a huge hug. Simultaneously, the last swimmer touches in and everyone around us claps. Who knows if it was for us or for the race? Either way, it was pretty cool.

"Thanks," Kyle said sarcastically while assessing the water that soaked into his clothing.

"You're so sweet, Kyle," I told him.

"What can I say? I'm amazing."

"Kyle came to me about this weeks ago," Quinn said.

"Yeah," Kyle confirmed. "Quinn totally helped me come up with this and she even talked to your coach about this meet."

"Well, I think getting my prom on with you is worth the Saturday I spent here. You're the best. I'm so excited!"

"Me too!" He said before I hugged him again, just to make him even more soaked.

* * *

"Awww, that is so sweet. Are you excited?" Brittany asked on a quick coffee date a few days after Kyle asked me, I had to be at work soon.

"Yes, I am. I think I'm going dress shopping this weekend with Ellie. Are you okay with it? With me going?"

"Santana, you've asked me this like a million times, yes I'm okay with it! I really want you to enjoy your senior year and your prom. You only get a few chances to go all out. Besides, you're nominated for Prom Queen. That's a big freaking deal!" She smiled and put a strand of hair behind my ear. Her hand lingered on my cheek, I felt my heart jump. "And I know that you're all mine."

"I'm pretty sure that piece wasn't loose."

"Yeah, I know, I just wanted an excuse to touch you. Can I go that walk-in thing?" This year, Principal Figgins was introducing a new tradition at McKinley. A lot of other schools had it but we never did it. It's called 'walk-in'. It's honestly just what it sounds like. All the prom couples walk-in. Last year, there were a lot of complaints because parents were taking pictures of the couples at the doors of prom and the line to get in was getting backed up. Walk-in supposedly eliminated that problem. The couples would just walk down the designated path, I think it was even going to be like a red carpet. The parents and family line up on the side to watch and take pictures. It was a cool idea, everyone can see everyone this way.

"I would die if you weren't there."

"Well, we wouldn't want that now, would we?"

"Of course not." I leaned over in kissed her. "Because if I was dead, we couldn't make out in the back booths of coffee shops."

She smiled, looked around to make sure there wasn't anyone watching, and kissed me again. I couldn't help but smile through the whole kiss.

* * *

**In regards to the whole religion plot in this. I don't want to offend anyone or make anyone uncomfortable. I knew that I touched on it when Santana came out and it's a follow up. I also kind of had to write it to deal with some things going on with myself right now. Please don't take it as anything personal, like Santana says, "everyone is entitled to their own opinions when it come to religion"-or lack thereof. No judgments here.**

**Thank you for the reviews from the last chapter! I get so happy reading them! Anyway, a lot happened in this chapter! What do you think of Grams? Of Lindsay? Of Santana's prom-posal?!**

**As always, thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter XIV

"That dress looks hot on you, Santana." Ellie said, sitting in the dressing room at a boutique. Her words sounded encouraging but I could tell that she didn't think it was the absolute perfect dress.

"I always look hot," I remind her. "But this isn't the dress for me."

"God, you're so humble," Ellie scoffed.

I turned around and Ellie unzipped me. We walked out of the dressing room with the handful of dresses that I had previously tried on and the salesperson greeted us.

"Did you like any of those?"

"Um," I stalled. "This one looked good but we're going to go to another place, just to check the ones there."

"Okay, so you want me to hold that for you until tonight?"

"Sure, if it's not too much trouble!" I faked a smile.

"No, not at all. Hopefully, we'll see you back here!"

"Thank you!"

Ellie and I walked out of the store. I had tried on five dresses in that store. With all of the places that we've been to, I've probably tried on over 25.

"We're not going to find one today, Ellie."

"Santana, yes we are. I promise."

I just shrugged and got into the car.

"Hey, why don't we try the mall? Just to see," Ellie offered.

We'd been to every boutique within a 30 mile radius of Lima and still haven't found anything. I didn't need an expensive dress with a designer tag attached. I just wanted a dress so it was worth a shot.

"Sure."

We drove over to the mall and walked around for awhile.

"Let's go in here." Ellie pushed me towards this small store near a corner.

"I've never been in this store, there's no dresses even displayed!" I whined.

"I know, I know, I just remember Kelly was wearing this absolutely gorgeous dress from here. I'd never heard of the store either but… here it is. It's worth a try. What do we have to lose?"

"Good point." We walked in and I looked around, searching for any sign of prom dresses.

"Hello, can I help you two girls find something?"

"She's looking for a dress." Ellie pointed to me.

"Prom?"

"Yes," I answered.

Ellie interjected, "And it needs to be Prom Queen worthy, she's nominated... And she's going to win."

I stifled a blush.

"We have just the thing. Follow me." The lady smiled and walked towards the back of the store, it was bigger than I had thought. "We don't carry a lot of prom dresses, only one rack, but I almost guarantee you'll find one you love. We have poofy dresses and then some non-poofy dresses as well; it's whatever you're up for. We also keep some other sizes in the back. Let me know if you need one."

I smiled and thanked her. Ellie and I started looking through the dresses. I flipped through them relatively quickly and they were all pretty, I just couldn't see myself in any of them. Ellie took one off the rack.

"Santana. This one. Try it on now." It was a long, straight red dress that had a thick strap going across the back and over one shoulder. It was similar to my one last year but it wasn't completely the same. It was pretty, but I still wasn't feeling it. I would try it on though, just to make Ellie happy. Luckily, the dress she was holding was my size.

I put on the dress and adjusted it accordingly. It wasn't tight or too loose, one of the best fits that I've tried. I looked in the mirror. Whoa. This dress, it was something else. I immediately fell in love. This was the dress.

"Oh my God, Ellie!" I say, looking at her in the mirror. "I look really good."

"Yeah you do!" She confirmed. "This is the one, Santana. You have to get it. You know that no one pulls off the color red better than you."

I smiled and at the moment, I genuinely got excited for prom. The perfect dress is the best catalyst for a perfect night.

I changed and we walked out of the dressing room.

"How'd it fit? Do you like it?" The salesperson saw us from the corner of her eye and walked towards us.

"I love it," I say with a glow that I'm sure showed on my face. "I'm getting it; this is just what I was looking for."

"Ahh, I knew you'd find something! That dress is one of my favorites and I'm pretty sure you don't have to worry about any girl showing up wearing that dress, that's our only size!"

I grinned, that thought always lurked in the back of my mind. She rang me out and I paid for my dress.

"Do you want to shop more and come back after to pick it up so you don't have to drag around a dress bag everywhere?" The salesperson asked.

"Ellie, do you want to continue shopping or go home?" My voice tone told her what the right answer was.

She chuckled. "I'm pooped, let's get out of here."

"I'll just take it," I said to the cashier. "Thank you so much!"

I was still ecstatic in the car from finding such a great dress. Ellie was in the passenger seat, texting and humming to the radio.

"Who are you texting?" I asked.

"Your girlfriend."

"What? I'm not even texting her."

She nodded. "I know. I told her about your dress. Actually, I'm teasing her because she really wants to see it, more specifically, see you in it… Or out of it." Ellie giggled to herself.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't even tell her what color it is!"

"I won't."

"Hey, speaking of girlfriends. How are you and Bryan?"

"Umm, we're okay." Her tone changed slightly.

"Did you have sex with him, Ellie?"

"And you call me the blunt one..."

"Ellie…" I said.

"No." She was being weird; I knew there was more to it.

"What are you not telling me, Ellie?"

She took a deep breath. "I, uh, well, we fooled around, more than usual. But I didn't have sex, it wasn't time for us and he knows, I just.. I had to do this so he would be happy. I really am happy with him and doesn't he deserve something?"

She had a point, not a very good one and not one I wanted to hear. I guess I was just scared about my sister growing up.

"I think that being with you someone as great as you is deserving enough, no matter the amount of intimacy in your relationship. Anyway, what kind of fooling around?"

She licked her lips. "I gave him a blow job."

It was hard to hear this coming from my sister. My Ellie. Sometimes, I would still look at her like she was a little kid again, like we were both little kids. It was hard for me to see the beautiful young woman that she was growing up to be and it was even harder to hear her so scared and so apprehensive about something she shouldn't feel like she had to do. It would be different if she didn't feel like she owed it to him. If she was just doing it because she wanted to, that would be like me, I suppose. But she wasn't. I could tell by her tone that she was clearly uncomfortable with it.

"Do you regret it?"

I glanced at her, she was thinking about it. "No, I mean, to a certain extent but no."

"Are you going to do it again?"

"I don't know," she broke down. "It was just gross and the whole time I was wondering if I was doing it right. You know? I don't know what he's thinking. I just don't know, Santana!"

"Why don't you talk to him about it?" I rationalized.

"I tried. He doesn't like to talk about it, he thinks it's weird."

I rolled my eyes. The more Ellie talked about Bryan, the less I liked him. "I don't know Ellie. Please, just.. don't let him push you into having sex because I know that if you don't feel 100% sure that he's the right guy and it's the right time. Sex is special and I want you to be able to see it but you won't if you're not comfortable yourself."

"I won't," she said confidently. "He's not… No. I know. But thank you, Santana."

"Of course, El. You know you can talk to me about anything."

"I know." And then in a softer voice, she repeated, "I know."

* * *

On a Saturday morning a couple weeks later, I woke up to my phone vibrating on my nightstand. I was with some friends the night before and probably stayed out a little too late. I was annoyed at the noise but I looked at the screen and my mood instantly changed.

"Hello?" I mumbled into the phone.

"Good morning gorgeous!" A cheery voice said on the other side of the line. "Did I wake you up? I know you didn't have practice this morning but you never usually sleep past 10."

"Long night…" I explained. "But there's no better way to wake up than hearing your beautiful voice."

"Stop, you're making me blush. What are you doing today?"

"Homework. But I can blow if off and hang out with a pretty girl named Brittany."

"Perhaps." Even though I couldn't see her, I knew she was grinning on the other end of the phone. "But I don't want to pull you away from your homework. You're almost done and it would suck to work this hard and not become valedictorian."

"Eh, I mean, I'd probably have to bomb a bunch of finals for that to happen. What did you have in mind?" I started to sit up in my bed and stretch the kinks out of my awkward sleeping position.

"Well, I still haven't spent any of this birthday money so I wanted to know if you wanted to go to the mall and I can spend it on you!"

"Hmm, I still on the hunt for some last minute prom jewelry. I'll go only if you don't spend it on me. Buy some new clothes. Treat yourself."

"We'll have to see about that. Tell you what, I'll pick you up in two hours, you can get some homework done, we can grab lunch, and then head over?"

"Sounds perfect. I'll see you soon."

I got up and showered, changed, ate some fruit, and started some homework. I was able to write a scholarship essay and read a few chapters of _The Catcher and the Rye_ before taking off with Brittany. We actually decided on eating at the mall food court and then going from there. After a great lunch consisting of amazing Thai food, we embarked on a shopping journey.

"Prom's next weekend and you still won't let me see your dress?" Brittany asked as we walked past a prom display.

"No," I teased. "It's still a surprise. Plus, it ensures that you come to walk-in and Figgins is still freaking out that it'll be a flop. But don't worry, my mom hasn't even seen it. The only person that has is Ellie!"

"I know." She pouted. "She always teases me about it. I asked for a picture and she sent me a picture of her foot. I was sad, to say the least."

"Aww," I cooed, touching her cheek in sympathy. "Don't be sad, you have less than a week to wait. I'll just tell you that it's not yellow or blue or purple."

She rolled her eyes and hooked her arm through mine.

After going to a few stores, Brittany had bought some new clothes, we headed into one of my favorite stores and I was going to see if they had any jewelry that matched. I headed to the middle of the store and Brittany stayed up front, looking at some skirts. My dress didn't need a lot of jewelry and since it was one shoulder, it certainly didn't need a necklace. But then I saw a simple silver bracelet. It wasn't over-the-top but it would compliment it just right.

I finished paying and went to the front to find her again. I saw her from behind. She looked like she was still looking at clothes on the rack in front of her, so I went up behind her and put my free hand on her hip.

"Hey, finding anything?" I semi-whispered in her ear from behind.

I felt her jump, like she was surprised. Then I looked at her but then I saw that she was in a conversation with someone, or so it seemed. I quickly took my hand off of her, embarrassed. She was talking to someone. I vaguely recognized her from the Facebook creeping that I'd done. It was Lindsay. The Lindsay. _Stay calm, Santana._

I silently congratulated myself for choosing a nice outfit when I changed this morning instead of the alternative sweat pants and swimming hoodie. I was wearing a signature boots and dress combo with a light cardigan over it. Classy as always.

I took a look at Lindsay; she was a little taller than me, Brittany's heigh and so pretty. She looked even prettier than the few pictures that I had seen when I was creeping on Facebook. Her eyes were a soft green-blue color but they definitely stood out. She was wearing a pretty blouse, skinny jeans, and riding boots. She was carrying a Louis Vuitton purse and her dark blonde hair was literally perfect waves down to the middle of her torso. She reminded me of Lauren Conrad when she was on The Hills. Yeah, she's that pretty. But I know she doesn't have the personality to match so it made me feel a little better.

"Speak of the devil," Lindsay said raising an eyebrow towards me. "You must be Santana." She smiled slightly.

I un-noticeably clenched my jaw and tried to return the smile. "Yes, I'm Santana. And you are?"

"Lindsay Graham," Lindsay said and extended her hand out for me to shake. I reluctantly shook it. "Brittany and I go way back," she added.

I raised an eyebrow.

"We dated in college," Brittany told me, although I definitely already knew. I wondered if she said it that way so Lindsay didn't know that Brittany had already talked to me about her.

"Wow, you're very gorgeous," Lindsay said to me while flipping her hair behind her shoulder. "I hope you don't mind me saying that. Brittany always did have good taste."

"Um, thanks." I tried to say it the least skeptically as I could. When in reality, I kind of wanted to go all Lima Heights on her. It took everything I had to not cause a scene.

"What brings you here today, Lindsay?" Brittany interrupted the awkward silence.

"Oh, just doing some shopping, I've been cooped up for a while studying and I needed to get out."

Brittany nodded. I could tell she was uncomfortable. "How long until your Master's?"

"Two more semesters hopefully."

Brittany nodded politely. "Have you seen much of the tennis team this spring?"

This conversation was either the most boring or the most awkward conversation that I've ever had to be a part of.

"Some. Sara is playing number one, I'm sure she's told you that. I see them practicing though and they're working real hard. Sara could make NCAA tourney in singles."

"That's good. And yeah, Sara told me about that. She's excited."

"She should be, it's the best time," Lindsay said, nostalgically. "Matt still owes me a rematch!"

Brittany forced out a chuckle. "Yeah, I'll make sure to tell him that." I knew she wouldn't.

"Have you two eaten lunch yet? I'm starving, I know Josh is, too."

"Josh?" Brittany asked.

"Oh, yeah. I'm here with my boyfriend, Josh, he's waiting outside. He's such a good guy, going shopping with me." The manipulation and jealousy that Brittany talked about was surfacing. It was subtle but I knew exactly what she was doing.

I had enough and I cut in, "We ate when we arrived."

"Well, that's too bad." A guy approached Lindsay, he was fairly hot and pretty buff. He put his arm around her shoulder. "Oh, here he is. This is Josh. Josh, this is an old college friend, Brittany, and her girlfriend Santana." I wondered if 'Josh' knew about Lindsay's history or if he was just there to fill a void.

"Pleased to meet you." He smiled politely at us and then turned to Lindsay. "Babe, I'm starving, can we eat?"

"Yeah, I was just asking them if they ate, they had. But we can go now," she told Josh. "Brittany, it was great running into you. Maybe we can catch up sometime?"

"Yeah, maybe. Have a good lunch."

"We will. It was nice meeting you Santana. Maybe I'll see you again."

I didn't say anything back to her and the pair smiled and walked away.

I glanced at Brittany. "Let's walk the other way so it won't be like we're following them; that would be awkward," Brittany said while watching them walk away.

"More awkward than it already was…?" I asked, walking with Brittany in the opposite direction as them.

She sighed. "I'm sorry. You could have lived your whole life never meeting her and it would have been fine. She was trying to make me jealous by calling you gorgeous and that Josh guy…" I could tell in the nonchalant way she said it that she wasn't jealous herself.

I took her hand in my free hand and interlocked our fingers. We kept walking, with no real destination in mind.

"Josh seemed nice. He was cute," I told her.

"I know. They've probably not been dating long. When I ran into her in January, it was another guy. She dates and then she gets tired of them and moves on. Except she'll do it in a way where she doesn't get labeled a slut. I guess I was the exception since we stayed together for so long."

Brittany wasn't mad, just matter-of-fact.

"Are you going to 'catch up' with her?" I cautiously said.

Brittany stopped in the middle of the mall. "Hell no. Honestly, I don't want anything to do with her."

I smiled. Brittany continued, "Besides, why would I waste time with her when I have such a hot girlfriend, who I am very proud of for keeping calm back there." I felt her free hand run down my arm, making me shiver.

"I am suddenly so turned on right now. If we weren't in the middle of a mall right now, I would rip off all your clothes and fuck you against that kiosk."

She grinned. "Santana! I love this side of you! It's so sexy."

"You like all sides of me." I put her hand on my butt. "Especially this side."

She laughed and squeezed my butt before we moved on.

We finished up at the mall, luckily never running into Lindsay and Josh again. Brittany got what she needed and I did as well.

On the drive home, out of the blue, Brittany asked, "Did you think Lindsay is pretty?"

I contemplated, wondering why she was still stuck on this. She was probably just wondering.

"Yeah, I do."

"Do you think I'm pretty?"

I was wondering why Brittany was asking this. She knew the answer, I made sure she knew every day what the answer was.

"No, Brittany. I don't think you're pretty. I think you're more than pretty. You're beautiful, crazy beautiful. You're gorgeous. You're perfect, Brittany. I'm literally crazy about you. Your smile, your blue eyes, your teeth, that cute freckle on the side of your forehead, it's so perfect. Even though you think your ears are too big, they're not, and I love them. I love everything about you. I never stop thinking of you. I love you so much."

She smiled. "I love you too."

"Why… why are you asking this?"

"I don't know. Curious, I guess."

I let her drop it and changed the conversation. I knew that wasn't the real reason but I didn't want to pry, she had some things to figure out on her own. I'd be there if she needed me and she knew that.

We got back to my house late afternoon. We weren't at the mall too terribly long, especially considering the amount of things we got.

"I'm so tired. I need a nap," Brittany said, pulling into my driveway.

"Come in, take a nap with me."

"I probably shouldn't. I have to be at the studio later tonight and you still have homework." She put her car into park.

"That's tonight. And you can go straight to the studio. You can borrow clothes if you need to. And I'll feed you before you leave. It's a Saturday, you need to come over. I miss you."

"You're so persuasive."

"Oh, am I?" I pulled her in and kissed her.

She pulled back with a huge smile on her face. "I'm convinced, let's go."

When we were back in my room, Brittany and I collapsed on my bed, completely exhausted. She scooted over to make room for me and patted the empty space. I laid down next to her and then eventually put my head on her chest and stomach. I wrapped a leg over one of hers and felt her hand on my back. She was tracing circles and patterns in my back. It was so calming, so intoxicating. I listened to her heart beat, to the ultradian rhythms of her stomach contractions. I could lie like this forever and never get tired of it. I could never get tired of her.

I heard a tone from her phone which was placed next to her on the bed. The consistent patterns briefly stopped, I felt her pick up her phone and the touch of her thumbs on her screen as she texted a reply. I think she fumbled with it more and I think she put it on silent. She started tracing patterns on my back again and I fell asleep just as I felt her hand go limp on my back.

I woke up a little while later. When we went to sleep, it was light outside, it was now a little darker and the room was dimly lit. I looked at Brittany, where my head was and looked to see if I drooled on her or something, I hadn't. I looked at the clock and saw that Brittany probably had to take off in an hour. I slowly got up and then a flash of color caught my eye. Brittany's phone was lighting up so I looked a little closer. Brittany had several unread messages, the content was hidden but one in particular was a number that wasn't saved and there were four unread messages.

Hmmm. Four texts from the someone who's number she didn't even save. I became a little skeptical. I'm sure it was Lindsay. I wanted to read the messages. I knew Brittany didn't keep her phone locked or anything. Even if she did, I know she'd tell me the code, but this wasn't my place to snoop. I trust her, I just thought it was weird.

I checked my own phone to keep myself from wondering. I saw just a couple messages, one about homework and one from Colby. I was still curious about Brittany's messages. I realized that she needed to eat and leave soon so I gently woke her.

"Sweetheart, you need to wake up."

She groaned and turned over. She mumbled, "I don't want to."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Can I just eat you?" She murmured.

I smiled modestly to myself. "You think you're so clever."

"I am." She slowly opened her eyes and smiled when she saw me. She reached over and grabbed her phone. I watched, intrigued, as she unlocked her phone and read her messages. She furrowed her brow and frowned. She didn't reply.

"Is everything alright?"

"Umm, yeah. Just, uh. Lindsay texted me."

I narrowed my eyes. A part of me wanted my prediction to be wrong. "Lindsay?"

"Yeah, she texted me four times since we went to sleep."

"...the hell does she want?"

She handed me her phone.

I read through the messages. Lindsay initiated the conversation H_ey, it was great seeing you and your girlfriend at the mall. I really was serious about catching up. You up for it?_

Brittany replied: I_ don't really think it's a good idea. I'm happy. I don't need you to mess it up._

Lindsay replied four separate times: _I'm not the same person I was a few years ago._

_Brittany, we went through a lot but above all, we were great friends. I miss it._

_Just think about it. Please, you can even bring Santana if you want._

_Brittany?_

I rolled my eyes and handed her phone back to her. I studied her face. I couldn't read her.

"Hey, let's go downstairs, I'll make you something before you go to the studio," I said, trying not to show her that I was pissed.

"Okay." She got up and linked her arm through mine.

I started making her something quick, just a grilled cheese with some fruit.

"So are you going to reply?"

"No," she immediately said. She thought for a second. "Well, should I? Should I tell her again that I don't want to see her? The only reason she's texting me is because she knows that I'm happy with you. She doesn't want me to be over her, she wants to linger in the back of my mind forever."

I thought it over. "If I were in your shoes…Well, if I were in your shoes, bitch would know not to ever talk to me because—"

"Santana," she interrupted.

"Okay," I rationalized. "Since you're a lot nicer than me, I probably would text back. Tell her you don't want to see her. Because if you don't text back, she's going to continue to bother you."

"I guess you have a point. I just don't want to seem like I actually care. I know that sounds heartless but that's nothing compared to what she's done to me."

"Then just text back 'For the last time, no.' You know? Short and sweet. Or you could hand me the phone and I will definitely let her know that—"

"No, I'll just text her that." She laughed half-heartedly, got out her phone and typed a reply. I put a plate in front of her and sat on the counter so the plate was in between us. We both started eating until we heard her phone buzz. Brittany finished the bite she was on and wiped a greasy hand on my bare leg.

"Thanks. You're such a great napkin."

I rolled my eyes. "It's a good thing I love you so much."

She looked at her phone and read the reply out loud. "_I'll never stop trying_. Well, that's just lovely. I'm not texting back, it's not worth it."

Before I could say something back, we heard the door open. It was the steps of my mom and Ellie, I could tell by the footsteps.

"HEY!" I yelled across the house.

A few seconds later, they were all standing in the kitchen.

"Mija, get off the counter," my mom scolded. "Hello, Brittany."

I jumped off and took the rest of my sandwich with me.

"Hi Isabella. Hi Ellie. Did you win?" Brittany asked. Ellie just got back from a soccer tournament.

Ellie frowned. "We won the consolation bracket."

I laughed. "The loser bracket?"

"Shut up, Santana!" She walked over and took the rest of my sandwich from my hand. "We can't all be winners." She cheekily grinned.

"Well," Brittany said between her laughs. "I would love to stay and watch family fun night but I need to run off to the studio."

"Oh, here, I'll walk you out."

"No, it's fine." Brittany walked around and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Bye, Santana. Bye, Isabella. Bye, Ellie. Good job on the consolation bracket."

Ellie laughed and hugged her. "Bye, Brittany."

We all stood in silence until Brittany we heard the door close.

My mom spoke up, "So what did you two do today?"

"She took me to the mall and we just hung out and bought some stuff."

"Oh, that's exciting." Ellie sarcastically remarked.

"Well, then we saw…" I stopped mid-sentence when I realized I was about to talk about Lindsay to my mom. That conversation would turn into an interrogation really fast. Oops. "We saw a semi turned over on the side of the road."

My mom raised her eyebrows. Ellie could tell I wasn't going to say that.

"Oh, that's too bad, I hope everyone was alright. I didn't get a call from the hospital. Of course it would be the one day I am off…" She said while grabbing her phone from her hip.

"No, they were fine," I quickly said. "They were all standing outside like assessing the damage or whatever."

I cleaned up all the dishes and finished the conversation with my mom before retreating upstairs to finish off some homework. I heard Ellie tromp up the stairs and take a shower. Afterwards, she landed in my room with a towel wrapped around her hair.

"So, tell me what really happened."

"Uh, we ran into her crazy ex, Lindsay. Remember the one I told you about?" I briefly told Ellie about Lindsay. I didn't go into extensive details out of respect to Brittany. I just told her enough so she would know the story.

Ellie nodded.

"Well, then we came back for a nap and Lindsay texted her like 5 times wanting to catch up. I don't know, Ellie."

"You act like Brittany isn't head over heels in love with you."

I smiled. "You can tell?"

"Everyone can tell. I don't know what you're worrying about. Brittany is a big girl, Santana. If Lindsay has taught her anything, it's that Brittany can deal with her. She'll know what to do."

"You're sure."

"Positive. And besides, Lindsay, she doesn't even compare to you."

"How do you know?"

"Because you're my sister, you're Santana freaking Lopez. There's no one better than you."

I smiled. "I love you El. I just, I don't know what to do. You know, this isn't my place. I just don't want Brittany caught up in her again. She's... She's a horrible person."

"I know but give Brittany some credit, she knows how to take care of herself. She's not going to let herself be in a situation like that again."

I shrugged. "I sure hope so."

* * *

The week before prom literally flew by. No one wanted to do anything in class except talk about prom and their plans. Before I knew it, my makeup, hair, and nails were done and I was slipping into my dress. Kyle was due to pick me up in 30 minutes and we'd meet up with a bunch of friends to take group photos and then have dinner at Breadstix.

As I came down the stairs, I heard my dad grumbling about how 'this boy' better keep his hands to himself if he knew what was right.

I laughed as I entered the living room. "Papi," I said. "Kyle is a gentleman. He would never do anything like that. Besides, he knows about Brittany."

"Well, if he gives you any trouble, just tell him I'll see him at the hospital." He winked. "Get it? Because I could knock hurt him for disrespecting you but when he got to the hospital, it would still be me."

"Oh, Dad…" I said, rolling my eyes with a light chuckle.

"You look beautiful, Santana," my mom said.

"Thanks."

The three of us lingered around the living room until the doorbell rang. My dad got up to answer it and Kyle appeared in the living room, looking extra spiffy and very put-together.

"Well, don't you look handsome." I grinned and straightened his bowtie just a tad.

"You look stunning, Santana," he said. "Oh! I'm supposed to put this on you."

He held up what was in his hand, just a corsage box. Just as he was about to put it on my wrist, Ellie yelled, "Wait! I need to get my camera."

"Ellie!" I shook my head with a small laugh.

She eventually got the camera and we took a bunch of pictures before heading out. They followed us out to the most scenic spot in town to take group pictures with all of our friends. Dozens of parents and family seemed to be there with cameras in hand to take pictures. At first I felt like a movie star with all the flashes and pictures. Then it just got annoying but I kept smiling. After all of the formal pictures were taken, we kind of goofed around for a little bit and eventually made our way to Breadstix.

After eating a way too many breadsticks, we were finally headed to prom! We drove to the area specified for the walk-in and Kyle got out of his car and handed his keys to a valet driver. A valet driver! Figgins must have had big plans for this walk-in. Kyle walked to my side and opened my door for me, like a gentleman, held out his hand, and helped me out of the car.

He grinned. "You really do look beautiful, Santana. I've already had such a great time tonight."

I returned the smile. "Me too."

Kyle filled out a name card and we waited in line for our turn to walk. When we approached the announcer, he took our slip and nodded to us. We started walking.

"_Our next couple is Mr. Kyle Kirsch and his date, Prom Queen nominee, Miss. Santana Lopez._"

I put my hand around Kyle's arm and we walked down the makeshift aisle to bushels of cheers.

We had to stop a few times for some impromptu pictures by my family and his.

I saw Brittany standing with one of her best friends, Sara, the tennis player and a girl I didn't know. She was grinning at me and waving.

I waved back with a big smile.

"Is that her? Your girlfriend?" Kyle asked me through a smile.

"Yes, the blonde one on the left."

"Wow, she's beautiful."

I smiled at him. "She really is."

I tried not to stare too much at Brittany when I saw another familiar blonde standing next to the two girls. I did a double take. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was Lindsay fucking Graham. I was legitimately perplexed. Brittany wasn't really showing any indication as to why Lindsay was at my walk-in or why the fuck she was with Brittany. I thought that Brittany had got all of the Lindsay stuff sorted out. I cocked my head ever so slightly towards Brittany and she acknowledged it but gave a look that told me not to worry about it. But I was worrying. Kyle nudged me out and we kept walking, smiling for pictures from others.

"Are you alright?" Kyle asked, snapping me out of my trance.

"Yeah, I'm great!" I lied; it wasn't anything he should be worrying about.

After what felt like an eternity walking in, we were finally into the gymnasium. I took a deep breath and looked at all the great decorations, it definitely beat last years.

"Wow, these look so great!" I tried to block off any Brittany thoughts; I had nothing to worry about. Everything was going to be fine. Brittany is a big girl. There has to be an explanation for it. Tonight is about Kyle and I though, I couldn't let it ruin it.

"I know, they do." We were talking loudly. The New Directions had already started rattling out their tunes. Although they were loud, they weren't that bad!

"LET'S DANCE!" I yelled and grabbed Kyle by the arm and shuffled towards the dance floor.

I found our friends on the crowded dance floor and started dancing. I danced with everyone and all their dates, not caring who it was. I didn't care who it was, I just wanted to dance. But then the dancing made me think of Brittany and how much she loves to dance. Subsequently, thinking about Brittany made me think about Lindsay. Then I just got flustered. This wasn't supposed to happen. Brittany is mine. Not hers. Lindsay had her chance is she screwed it up horribly. She broke Brittany's heart. Brittany would never look back. She loves me.

After what seemed like a half an hour of just fast dance songs, Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson took the stage singing a slower song. I looked around and saw Kyle who was walking towards me.

He held out his hand. "Can I have this dance?"

"Of course." I took his hand and wrapped my arms around his neck; his hands fell to my waist as we swayed back and forth to the beat.

"I don't know about you, but I'm having an amazing time. Probably the best dance I've ever been to."

"Me too! You know, it's nice. Besides graduation, this is the last time we're all going to be together, you know? And you know, you really are like the best date ever. I'm so happy that you asked me."

"If I'm the best date ever, then you're like… well I don't know… but something even better." He gave me a little squeeze. "Hey, so back at the walk-in, you didn't sound alright. I don't want to pry but…"

"Uh, it was just Brittany was with her ex. At the walk-in. It's just sketchy because she supposedly hates her. Her ex is kind of psychotic. I just, I don't know."

He contemplated. "I'm sure everything is fine." He didn't say it in a condescending way but a caring, genuine way. "Do you trust her?" I nodded. "Then I'm sure there's an explanation. Do you want to check your phone?"

I forgot that I had him keep it in his pocket. "Yeah, that'd be great."

He handed me my phone and we kept dancing to the music while I unlocked it. I had a few messages to wade through but I found Brittany's conversation. There were two new messages from her. _Hey, you looked absolutely stunning. I'm so proud to call you mine. Please, don't worry. I'll explain later. GOOD LUCK! XOXO._ And then another message _I know you have your after prom thing to get to but can you call me before?_

I typed in a quick reply, telling her that I'd try to come over. I didn't know if I felt better knowing that she knew I saw Lindsay or if I felt worse because there was something to explain. But I did know that I had a great prom date dancing with me that I should probably be focusing on.

"So... Trouble in paradise?" Kyle asked.

"Uh, I don't think so. It's nothing to worry about now." I smiled at him and we danced until the song ended.

After that song, Kyle went over to get some punch, we were both parched.

"HEYY Santana! Are you having a great time?!" Jenna was screaming at me.

"Yes, Jenna. I am, except I may be deaf now. Are you having fun?"

"Amazing, Joey is such a good dancer! You should go dance with him!"

I grinned. "I already have!"

"How's Kyle as a date? You guys look like you're having so much fun!"

"I am! Kyle's a great date."

"Are you nervous?"

"About what?"

"Prom Queen."

I paused for a moment in thought. "Oh gosh," I finally said. "I totally forgot about that."

"Have you even voted yet?!" She asked, astonished.

"Umm," I thought for a moment. "Yeah, we did right when we walked in."

"Okay, just checking. I heard from a reputable source that you're the front runner."

"That's very sweet but I don't really think that the student body is going to vote me as Prom Queen… because of the lesbian thing and all."

"Santana. This is the 21st century! Most people are cool with it; we'll just have to see. But good luck! You'll definitely be the best looking one up there."

"Well obviously. But thank you, Jenna."

Kyle came back with two drinks, saw Jenna and offered her his drink, what a great guy. She declined though and went back to dancing. I took my drink and sipped on it and talked with Kyle while we both cooled off at a table from all the dancing. Pretty soon, Figgins was on stage and he was announcing the prom court.

"Good luck, Santana. I voted for you," Kyle said quickly wrapping one arm around me in a hug.

I went up to the stage when my name was called and patiently waited for Figgins to stop rambling and announce who won. I thought back to my freshman year when being Prom Queen was a dream and something that I wanted so bad for myself. It was weird to think about how much priorities change and even disappear completely in the matter of a few years. Honestly, it'd be cool to be Prom Queen but it wasn't going to make or break my senior year or my high school career. I would take swimming or Brittany over Prom Queen any day.

Figgins cleared his throat and announced Prom King first. It was Rick "The Stick" Nelson. Suddenly, there was nothing I wanted less in the world than to be Prom Queen. Being Queen with such a homophobic asshole King is not what I wanted.

Figgins started talking into the microphone again, "And your Prom Queen is…" Please don't say Santana. Please. "Miss. Santana Lopez!" Applause filled the large room as Kurt Hummel, last year's Prom Queen, crowned me.

"Come on, Santana. Smile," he encouraged.

So I smiled like I was supposed to but I just didn't want to share this moment with Rick.

"Now if we could get some music so the new Prom King and Queen can share a dance," Figgins murmured into the microphone.

I watched as Rick walked towards me and held out his hand. I took a deep breath and took it as we made our way to the dance floor. A crowd formed around us as we started to dance. I reluctantly wrapped my arms around his neck and he put his hands on my hips, further down than Kyle would have ever dared to put his hands.

I tried not to look at him and kept a fake smile the whole time.

"Congrats," Rick said. I met his eyes with mine before he continued, "Did you just sleep with everyone to get votes? I know it's easy for you, you know, since you like pussy and all. And don't act like you don't know that all the guys think you're hot." He kept his smile plastered on his face.

"Congrats to you too. And no, I won because obviously people actually like me."

"Oh, and I didn't win because people don't like me. I'm sex on a stick."

"Have you even had sex, Rick? And I don't see how anyone could like you, though. If I wasn't obligated to dance with you, I wouldn't get in a 6 foot radius of you," I said through gritted teeth.

He pulled me closer to where our chests were almost touching and the crowd applauded. More couples were starting to form around us.

"Stop. You're a fucking asshole," I said pulling back a little.

"What? You don't like that? What are you doing after after-prom? Is Kyle going to get it in tonight?"

That was it; I wanted to end this dance. I looked around, there was almost the whole dance floor filled with couples slow dancing.

"Are you sure you want to go there, Rick? Last time you went there, you got your ass kicked by him."

He scoffed. "That was not an ass-kicking. I would have easily kicked Kyle's ass but I have a future ahead of me. Anyway, how about instead of you and Kyle, let's let the King and Queen get down tonight, we can blow off the after-prom party and just have our own. I'll fucking turn you straight when I rock your world."

I was trying to keep my composure. I'd dealt with this before. What he was saying wasn't anything new or original. I'd almost gotten used to it. So I just rolled my eyes and started to pull away from him. He pulled me closer and didn't let me go. "Oh, come on…" I felt his hand run down my hip and on my butt. "I really want to see what's under this very pretty dress."

But then I didn't think I could hold it in any longer and before Lima Heights Santana made a special prom appearance, Puck meandered in behind Rick.

"Hey, Rick, congrats man," he said, patting him on the shoulder.

"Thanks Puckerman," Rick said to him.

"Do you mind if I cut in and dance with your highness here?"

Rick forced a nod because he knew he had lost. "Nope, not at all."

Puck took me in and we started dancing. It was too familiar, dancing with him. Memories flooded back to me of all the dances we had been to together.

He looked at me. "I could tell that Rick was being an ass."

"I was trying to stay cool and get through the dance without making a big scene," I told him. "I didn't know anyone could tell…"

"After a couple years of dating, I can definitely tell when something is wrong with you, no matter what type of face you put on."

I smiled. "Well, thanks for saving me."

"It's the least I could do."

"Were you able to spike the punch bowl this year?"

He grinned. "I'm about to." He opens his coat to show a flask. "After this, Sam Evans is going to create a diversion and then it'll be done, you'll see."

I laughed and said, "Good luck."

Then I rested my head on his shoulder for a few seconds. I saw Quinn in the corner of my eye. She smiled and nodded at me. The song ended sooner than I wanted it to and we both went back to our respective dates for the rest of the night.

After the last dance, all of the prom goers departed the dance. Kyle opened the car door for me and headed back towards my house.

"Do you want a ride back to the after prom party?" The after-prom 'party' was a school-sponsored event that all students are encouraged to attend. Its goal was to prevent real after prom parties. The PTA fundraised all year to put it together. There was food and "games" and other activities. There was like rock-climbing, bounce houses, laser tag, and sports. And at the end, prizes were given away for more of an incentive for the students to stay instead of party. It sounds lame but it actually isn't that bad and it's all free so it's not a big deal.

"No thanks. I, uh, I'm going to stop by Brittany's place and then head over to after prom."

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you soon?" He asked as he pulled into my driveway and put the car into park.

"Yeah, I'll be there eventually. Thanks again for a great night, Kyle."

"No, thank you, Miss. Prom Queen."

I laughed, gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek and opened the door.

"Wait, here's your phone." He fumbled in his pocket and handed it to me.

"Oh! Thanks, I'll need that! I'll see you soon."

* * *

I got inside my house, it was a little past midnight and my whole family was up. Ellie had Blair over and they came into the living room, where my parents were watching TV, as I walked in.

Ellie squealed as soon as she saw the crown in my hand. "AHHH. Santana! I'm so happy for you!" She shook her head. "Man, I have a lot to live up to."

I smiled. My mom walked over and put her hands on my shoulders and kissed my forehead. "Santana, you looked beautiful. You still do." I saw my dad nod in agreement.

"Thanks. I love you guys." I smiled.

"So who won King?" Blair asked.

"Rick Nelson. That idiot hockey player." I frowned.

"You don't like him?" My dad asked.

"Not at all, dancing the coronation dance with him was like torture." I made a disgusted face. "Ellie, can you unzip me?" I turned around and faced her, she unzipped my dress.

I held it up to my chest so it wasn't falling down. "I'll be right back guys, don't go anywhere."

I ran upstairs and called Brittany when I got to my room. She didn't answer. I wondered if she had fallen asleep. I changed out of my dress and hung it up, put on some running shorts and a BHU tank top; luckily it was a really warm night. I didn't care that by now my hair probably looked like a mess, trying to tame it would have made it worse.

I ran back downstairs and chatted with all of them for a few more minutes about prom and all the fun I had. I looked at my phone, hoping for a text from Brittany but then I realized I should get going. I stuffed my phone into the waistband of my shorts.

"Alright, I better go guys. Thanks for staying up for me."

"Okay, Santana, be careful. How long does that after prom thing last?" My mom asked

"Um, I think 4 or 5."

"Alright, just come home sometime and be safe."

"Okay, Ma. I will."

I grabbed my keys off the counter and walked out to the garage. Right as I turned on my car, I got a text from Brittany, _Sorry I missed you call. Can you come over before you go to your prom party thing?_ I texted back _I'll be right there._

I drove over to her apartment complex. I was anxious. This was such a weird situation and I didn't know what to think about it. I trusted Brittany, of course. I just couldn't think of any explanation that would make sense.

I got out of my car and heard a voice calling my name, "Santana!"

I was startled because I didn't see anyone. I gripped my keys, ready to poke an eyeball out.

"Oh, don't be startled, it's just me, Lindsay... Lindsay Graham." She emerged from around the passenger side of my car. A streetlight above us illuminated her. _What the hell?_

"The fuck do you want!?" I asked her and then added, "Lindsay Graham." I said her name dripping with sarcasm because she acted like her first and last name were something to revel in and be awed at.

"Whoa, there." She put her hands up in front of her. "Now from what I thought, Santana Lopez was one of the nicest people I could ever meet."

"It's circumstantial," I said flatly, trying to walk around her.

"Hey, Santana," she called after me. "Did you have fun at your little high school prom?"

I turned back around. Maybe tonight was the night I would give her a little piece of my mind. I'd dreamed about confronting her but I never thought it would happen. "As a matter of fact, I did."

Lindsay raised her eyebrows. "Well, while you were being a slut probably dancing with everything that moves, I was having some fun with your girlfriend."

She was getting deeper and deeper under my skin. "Look, bitch. I have no idea what you're talking about, Brittany would never."

"Oh, but she did. You saw me."

"I'm sure there's a hell of a lot more to the story," I said, convincing myself. Lindsay did have a way of talking that was almost persuasive. I couldn't let her get under my skin.

"Maybe there is. But maybe Brittany lies to you. Maybe you don't even know the real story. Maybe, just maybe, your perfect little girlfriend is still in love with me. Is that so hard to comprehend? I mean, come on, you are still in high school."

For once, I was at a loss for words, I couldn't think of a comeback. "Shut the fuck up, you don't even know me."

She nodded. "Everyone knows Santana Lopez. You're the swimming star of this town. You swim breaststroke right?"

I mocked a laugh. "You think you're the first person to make that joke? Well you're not. Actually, it was Brittany's father who was one of the first people to say that. And then it got old. But you know what? While all you do is dream about having a second chance with Brittany, I get to live it. I'm with Brittany, I'm her girlfriend. You lost, Lindsay."

"Not quite. Yeah you may be with her now but what me and Brittany have, our memories, our experiences, our bond, she's never going to forget it and she's never going to have what we had with anyone else."

"Well that's good because I'm sure she doesn't want to be in another abusive relationship. I'm sure she just dreams of another relationship where the other person cheats on her and hits her with tennis racquets."

Lindsay narrowed her eyes at me. "Did she tell you what happened after that happened? I'm not saying that what I did was right in any sense but she hit me back, over and over again. But of course, she wouldn't tell you that part."

"Stop. I'm done. And you better be done too before you see a side of me that I know you won't want to see."

I didn't give her any time to say anything else and brushed past her, walking into Brittany's building and to her door. I knocked. Sara answered.

"Hey Santana. Wow, you still look really pretty."

"Thank you," I said shortly. "Where's Brittany?" And then I lost it. "Do I fucking know anything? Do I know the truth about anything?"

Sara's eyes widened. I could tell I scared her and I didn't mean to at all.

I retracted. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just, Lindsay is outside and she talked to me, I just... I don't know."

"What?" Brittany asked, walking in the room.

Sara said, "Well, I'm going to leave you two to clear things up. You can call me if you need me." Sara grabbed her keys and Brittany thanked her for staying with her.

"I'm sorry Sara," I called after her.

"It's fine," she said with a smile. "I understand. Bye Santana."

We both stood there until Sara shut the door behind her. Brittany looked pretty tired. She walked across the room to me and wrapped me in a big hug. I pulled her close to me and felt tears sting my eyes. Lindsay left me stunned. I love Brittany so much but I didn't know what to think anymore. I didn't know what to believe. Of course, I'll always believe Brittany over Lindsay but Lindsay really got to me. I was so upset.

When we finally did let go, she kept me in her arms and looked in my eyes. "Hi. You still look so, so pretty. I'm sorry. I can explain."

We went to her table and sat down.

"Did you win?" Brittany asked, possibly avoiding the subject at hand.

I smiled. "Yeah. But, so did Rick the Dick. That one guy who—"

"The asshole," she clarified.

I nodded. "But it's alright."

"I love you, Santana. I guess I have some explaining.."

"Yeah, possibly."

She took a deep breath. "Okay, here goes. So today, when you were doing all of your prom stuff, I actually had the day off, so I hung out with Sara. We went down to the courts at LU to play tennis and just hit around and guess who was there?"

"I'm guessing it was not Serena Williams."

She laughed half-heartedly. "Lindsay was playing tennis with another girl currently on the team, Emily. They started playing with us and it was whatever. It was kind of awkward and I felt really weird, like all of the memories of the hours where I completely learned this sport just to play with the girl who I loved came back to me. I needed to get out of there so Sara and I left and just went back here to chill. Then Lindsay started texting me. I ignored it at first. Then she kept texted me and wouldn't leave me alone but she was sending weird things like 'I need your help.' And 'I'm in trouble.' Obviously, I didn't believe her but I texted her back asking her what was wrong. She said she needed to talk to me and if I was here. I told her that I was but I was about to leave. We went down to the parking lot, to head over and she was there, like, in her car, waiting. I told her I didn't have time for this and that we needed to leave. She asked me where I was going and I told her. Then she followed me."

"Wait, are her and Sara friends?"

"I mean, at first they were good friend but then they just had a teammate relationship. But Sara doesn't really like her because of what she did to me. But Emily was still with her so I couldn't be rude."

"Alright. Go on."

"Well, we got to walk-in and we found a little spot to stand and wait. Her and Emily followed us and were standing with us. You guys weren't exactly the first couple to walk in so there was a lot of down time. Sara and Emily were talking doubles strategies for their upcoming match and Lindsay was talking about how seeing me at the mall and playing tennis again made her realize how much she missed me. She said she made such horrible mistakes and would do anything to turn back time."

"Was she being genuine?"

"Hell no. She just couldn't stand me with someone else. She kind of did this with other people I was with after her but it was never this bad and stalker-ish. When we dated, I never imagined she would be like this. She's a completely different person." Brittany was sad. She looked dejected and regretful of everything that happened.

"It's not your fault, Brittany. You didn't know. What happened after I walked in?"

"She started making comments about how you were probably in there cheating on me and all this other stuff. I was getting so pissed off."

"Brittany, I'd never.."

"I know. When we drove back here, I let her in for just a few minutes. I don't know why, a lapse of judgment." She sighed. "She talked about all these memories of us, it was just.. too much to take in. It's always too much with her. It's always too intense. I told her she needed to leave, that was a few hours ago."

"Well, she must have waited a few hours because we a little conversation."

Brittany's face fell. "Oh, I forgot that she was out there. What happened?"

I told Brittany everything and ended with, "Was there another part of that tennis racquet story that you didn't tell me? Like did you hit her back?" I didn't ask it in an aggressive way. I wholeheartedly believed Brittany told me the entire truth. And I believed that Lindsay said that just to mess with my head, I just wanted to be certain.

Brittany shook her head. "No, honestly, Santana. I know how Lindsay is, how convincing she can be. I...I never hit her back. Please believe me."

I nodded. "I didn't think you would. You're not like that."

"Santana, I'm so sorry. I.. you… you don't deserve this. I never wanted you to get wrapped up in all this stupid drama. Are you mad at me?" She asked me with her eyebrows knitted together and her glass blue eyes fixed on mine.

I slightly smiled. "Not at all. It's not your fault at all. And when you look at me with your piercing blue eyes, I just melt. I could never be mad at you for something that is totally out of your hands. I'm just a little frustrated."

"You have a right to be. This shouldn't have happened."

"It's out of your hands, Britt. Not your fault. Besides, I tried to set her straight. And I love you."

"And I love you too. And that's all that matters."

Brittany glanced at the clock, "Look, you better get to your thing. Come over tomorrow?"

"I would love to."

* * *

The next morning, I woke up to the pain of a bobby pin digging into my scalp. I didn't even remember coming home after the party. I looked at the clock, it was almost noon. I guess my parents didn't wake me up for church. I needed the sleep anyway.

I got up and took out my hair. My hair fell down in a crispy, tangled mess around my shoulders. Makeup was smeared all over my face. I took out a wipe and tried to take off most of it.

Brittany texted me to come over ASAP. I quickly took a shower and changed and threw my hair in a bun. I texted Ellie, they were probably eating lunch after church, that I'd be home sometime before 8; I didn't know how long I'd stay.

As I drove over to Brittany's apartment, I thought about how much our relationship has progressed. I used to only want to see Brittany when I looked my best. When she was student teaching, I picked out my clothes every morning with her in the back of my mind. In a way, I guess I wanted to impress her. Now, driving to her house in the same clothes I wore the night before because I was in a rush just to see her, I didn't care. She's seen me naked; surely she could see me in shorts and a tank top. I knew she didn't care either.

I pulled into the lot and scanned it for any traces of crazy Lindsay. I walked into her apartment, it was unlocked. I saw her lying on the couch with her iPad and laptop, she was also watching TV.

"Surrounded by enough technology?"

"Not quite. My phone's on the table, will you go get it for me?"

"What do you say?"

"Pleaseeeee." She pleaded and put her hands together and pursed her lips.

"You look so cute." I walked over to the table and grabbed it.

I walked over and gave her the phone and she started messing with it. I went to the kitchen to get something to eat, I was starving.

I came back to the living room with some dried fruit. She closed her laptop, put the iPad on the living room table, and turned down the volume on the TV. I sat down on the couch by her feet and she draped her calves over my lap. I put my hands on her legs, in between bites of food, and felt how smooth they were.

"Hi," I told her after a few moments.

"Well, hello there. You smell good."

"Thanks. I shower, unlike some people in this room."

She snickered. "Yeah, I only take yearly showers. But, I have a confession."

"Mhmm?" I was still touching her legs, memorized. I felt her sculpted dancer's calves.

"I texted Lindsay, like a little earlier."

That caught my attention. I cocked my head at her. I didn't want her to talk to Lindsay. I wanted it to be all over.

"Can I see?"

She unlocked her phone and got to the conversation.

Brittany initiated the conversation Y_ou really have no right to wait outside my apartment for hours to harass my girlfriend. It's so freaking immature of you. What do you even want?_

Lindsay replied, _I didn't wait for hours, I left and then came back and she happened to be there. And honestly, I don't think that I was the one doing the harassing last night. But I don't think you two are good together. I want you to know I've changed, we should try it again._

_There's no way that is happening. I thought we were really done with these games like two years ago._

_We had so much fun playing tennis yesterday. It was just like old times. You can't deny you didn't feel something because I know you did._

_You know what I didn't feel? You hitting me with a tennis racquet._

_Brittany, please, I'm sorry, that was years ago. Why are you with her? She's like 14._

_She's freaking 18 and it doesn't even matter. Obviously, she's still way more mature than you. Stay the hell away from her and me._

_Okay. But when she breaks your heart, don't deny that I warned you. I'll always love you Brittany._

_The feeling isn't mutual. For two years, I let you fuck with my life. If you really loved me, you would stay away. You have a boyfriend, you should be happy, not lamenting on a relationship that happened two years ago._

_I am happy. I want you to be happy with me._

_Drop it, you and I know it's not happening. Look, just stay away from Santana and I. Please._

_Fine. But remember, when she breaks your heart, I'll be here to pick up the pieces._

And that was the end of the conversation. I exhaled. On one hand, I felt relief. On the other, I was just scared. I know Lindsay isn't like psycho crazy who would kill me or anything like that. I just didn't like the fact that she was obsessed over a lost relationship.

However, Brittany stood her ground, for both of us. I'm pretty sure Lindsay got the message.

"I'll never break your heart."

"Of course you wouldn't," she agreed with a smile."

"So is that closure for her?"

"Maybe. I mean, I don't think she'll be texting or calling me anytime soon. And then we're both moving in a few months, it's not like she can stalk me or you in Hamilton."

"Right. That's good. Does she know you're going there? I'm pretty sure she knows I'm going there."

"I'm not sure. She'll find out somehow but she's still not finished with her Master's and she wouldn't transfer. She's had this planned out since before she even knew me."

I slightly smiled. "That's good to hear, kind of gives me a peace of mind."

"Yeah, me too. Anyway, I didn't get to hear all about prom last night with all of the frenzy, tell me all about it!"

I told her all about it, I didn't leave anything out. She was interested, wanted to know every detail. I told her that I danced with a million people, she wasn't mad. She definitely understood.

"I'm glad it was such a great night for you! Speaking of coming over to my place, are you wearing the same clothes you were in last night?" She grinned.

"Uh, no."

Brittany arched her eyebrows together.

"Okay, yeah. I was in a hurry after I showered and I changed really quickly." I wasn't embarrassed at all. I knew she was just messing around.

"Oh, that's the excuse? Changing fast?"

"Yeah pretty much." I smiled.

She questioned, "What?"

"I bet you could get me out of these clothes just as fast as I got into them, maybe even faster."

"Is that a proposition from the Queen?"

"No, it's a royal decree."

Before waiting for her reply, I shifted over her. I put one of my legs in between hers, held her face, and kissed her. Her lips parted and I felt my tongue on hers. We kissed passionately for a few minutes, both wanting more from each other.

I felt her reluctantly break the kiss and pushed me up. I looked in her eyes.

"Let's go to my room."

I got up off her and made an "Ooof" sound.

"Are you okay?" She asked, grabbing my hand and leading me to her room.

"I'm just a little sore, you know, from all the dancing." I said when we were both inside her room.

"Sore, eh? Anything I can do to help?"

"Perhaps a backrub."

"Well... Anything for the Queen."

Brittany sat down cross-legged on the bed, her back towards the headboard. I sat in front of her with my legs sprawled out in front of me. I felt her lean forward and put two warm hands on shoulders. She pushed her legs in front of her so they were touching mine. She scooted forward, closing the distance between our bodies. Her hands were massaging my back, they were firm yet gentle. Her hands made their way down my back, massaging every knot on its way. I've had many sports massages over the years and honestly, they didn't compare to the way Brittany's hands worked their way through all my kinks.

I moaned when she worked one of them out on my lower back. She put her hands under my shirt and touched my back, skin to skin. She worked her way up and gently pulled my shirt off. I felt her lips kiss my unclothed shoulder, near my bra strap. She touched the undersides of my breasts, flirting with my bra until I couldn't take it any longer.

"Take off my bra, now."

She unclasped my bra with ease and gently threw it on the floor.

She put both of my breasts in each hand and squeezed them, almost like she was massaging them as well.

I felt one hand move further down toward the hem of my shorts.

"May I?" She whispered in my ear. I felt her hot breath sting my neck and became so instantly turned on.

"You don't even have to ask."

Brittany kissed all around my upper back and settled on a spot on my neck. I felt one hand slip under my shorts and underwear. The other hand was playing with my breasts. Her hand approached the recently wet spot between my legs.

"Oh my gosh," She whispered, in between kisses, "You are so sexy, Santana."

I put one both of her hands on her legs, bracing myself to what was to come. Brittany slipped two fingers inside of me. She moved them in and out, gently as first, then more rapidly. At times, she would keep them in there and move them around. She knew exactly where to go, what to do.

"Ahhh, Br—ii—tttt. Don't- stop." I moaned.

"Never."

Brittany cupped one of my breasts with a hand and squeezed. I felt myself floating up to a euphoria that only she has ever taken me to. Every movement she made, everything she did, made my body want her more, made me want her more. Her lips grazed a sensitive spot on my neck as she gently bit down. She kept her teeth to my neck as she continued to take me up, higher and higher. I leaned back, as she reached the top and felt an explosion through my body. A wave of pleasure ran through as all my muscles tensed and then went limp.

I leaned back into her, throwing my head back onto her shoulder. Brittany removed her hand from underneath my shorts and released the grasp her teeth and mouth had on my neck. She held me close, her arms wrapped all around me. As soon as I got back to reality, feeling the sensations in my body return, I twisted around and put my hands on her shoulders. We were now face to face. I gently pushed her down and climbed on top of her.

I put a leg in between hers and pressed down. Brittany moaned and shut her eyes. I gently kissed her on the lips before pulling at the bottom of her shirt. She lifted her arms up in compliance and I slipped it off. I kissed the top of her breasts and fingered the black straps of her bra. I reached behind her, unclasped it, and took it off.

I kissed my way down to her breasts. I sucked on her left nipple and massaged her right breast in my left hand. I kissed down her stomach, near her belly button.

I started to pull her pants down. After I finished taking off her pants, I examined her lace underwear. I kissed the inside of her thighs and right above the hem of her underwear. I put my hands on the top of them and lightly pulled them off. I heard Brittany exhale.

I climbed back up to where her head was on the bed and kissed her neck while my hand was fumbling with her center. My body was right on the side of her. I gently maneuvered a finger inside of her and felt around. She was so wet and I was able to put another finger inside of her. I listened to her breaths closely as I circled around inside of her and gently but forcibly went in and out of her. Her hips buckled and leaned against my hand. I leaned up slightly for a second and looked at her, while keeping my momentum. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing so hard. I felt her hands on my back, her nails gently digging in as I got closer and closer.

After a few more moments, I felt Brittany tense. Her nails dug further into my skin and then after she reached the precipice, I felt them loosen.

"Shhhiittt, Santana," she moaned.

I took my fingers out and sat up right next to her. She was just looking at me. I sucked my fingers with a little grin. I tasted her; it was a taste that I'd grown fond of, that I loved. I laid down next to her. She wrapped herself around my arm and kissed my shoulder.

"Am I getting better?"

"You're fantastic every time but it always gets better. You're a fast learner."

"I did some research."

"Research?" She cocked her head.

"I mean like, I know by now what gets you going... Like research of Brittany. Brittany-ology." I didn't care how stupid I sounded. I knew Brittany did care.

"You are such a dork." She placed a small kiss on the tip of my nose.

After a few more minutes of laying in bed, we finally decided to get up. Brittany watched me as I got dressed and I went to the bathroom to pee. After I finished, I looked at myself in the mirror.

"BRITTANY!"

I heard quick footsteps coming towards the bathroom.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" She asked me, with a panicked voice.

She walked in, wearing only underwear and a bra. I pointed to the bright red mark on my neck through the mirror. She's done it many times before, this one was just really prominent. "This."

She smirked. "Oh, so you don't want me to do that anymore?" I felt her hands on my hips and her cheek against my shoulder. She grazed the mark with a finger and sent a tingle down my spine.

I contemplated. "Hmm, I'll just cover it up. It was worth it." I took my hair down and started braiding to the side.

"Your hair is so soft." She put a hand through it. "Come to the grocery store with me, I'll make you dinner, and then you can go home since you have practice in the morning."

"Is that a demand?"

"It's a suggestion."

"You had me convinced at the prospect of food." I smiled. She pulled the side of my head towards her and kissed my temple.

* * *

**I am so sorry for the delay. This was a tough chapter to write and I wanted it to be as close to perfect as I could get it. **

**Thanks so much for reading and your patience! :)**


	15. Chapter XV

The next few weeks seemed to fly by. I was finalizing scholarships and other end of the year plans. I was cramming for for finals and enjoying all of the last memories that I would have here. Graduation day was closer than I had ever imagined.

And then I blinked an eye and finals were all over. The senior class enjoyed all of the special senior days. In a way, I was so sad to leave. However, I wasn't, I was ready to put this chapter of my life to a close. I was ready to leave. I'd always have my memories but it was time to make new ones; new ones with Brittany.

I wrote my speech for graduation. I was speaking as valedictorian, which was something I never thought I'd actually be able to do. Hard work really pays off. The hardest thing about it though was trying to make sure my speech was worthwhile, that is was worth listening to. Brittany told me that I should tie things into swimming, since it was such a big part of my life. I came up with a pretty good idea and went from there. After that, it just came to me. It was very tongue-in-cheek and I wanted the audience to laugh at the subtleties that I put in there. I wanted them to be on their toes listening. I wanted it to be me. But I wanted it to have a message.

Before I knew it...

"And now, it is my pleasure to introduce this year's valedictorian with a cumulative GPA of 4.27, Miss. Santana Lopez," Principal Figgins said, concluding his speech to the graduating class.

I got up out of my chair. I met him with a hug and a smile as I stepped onto the podium. I looked out at the crowd. The whole class, the entire audience, all of their eyes were on me. I knew that my whole family, relatives, and Brittany were in the audience somewhere. I knew they were so proud of me. I was proud of myself, too. I looked down at the binder that was pre-placed for the speeches and adjusted my microphone.

"Hello, I want to start out by telling Principal Figgins that that was a great speech. Let's give him one more round of applause." I heard a thunder of applause.

I cleared my throat, lightly. "This day...this graduation day, I never thought this day would come, did you guys? We've waited our whole lives for this one day, for this diploma which is just a fancy piece of paper. But it wasn't just a waiting game. I suppose now is the best time as ever to look at what exactly has got us here.

"Some of you may know that I'm a swimmer. Although I've been swimming since elementary school, it's taken me thousands of hours of school, tests, studying, and a speech deadline from Principal Figgins to realize that school is exactly like swimming. Let me explain.

"All of us, we're the swimmers. We come to the pool everyday for practice. You know, some of us aren't the fastest. Some of us don't show up all the time, but we're still here enough to earn some kind of credibility.

"The coaches, our teachers, they're the ones that push us and guide us. We wouldn't even know how to swim without these guys. Of course, we have our off days where we just don't want to do that set. They'll push us through, they know us better than we think. They know that we are capable of so much more than we even know ourselves.

"Then there's the swimmers who you can't stand. The one's who feel like cutting you down will make them faster. We've made it through them; we were able to show them that with enough practice, we can prove them wrong. _I am faster than that. Or I can graduate. I can show you that I can do this._

"You can't forget about your teammates. They're the ones who are always there for you, through your ups and downs. They're always at the end of the lane, cheering you on. When you don't know the answer to a homework problem, they're so willing to help you.

"And get this, guys, our parents, they're the same in both situations. They're on the stands, cheering you on. They're there to buy you new goggles, new pencils. To wash the chlorine drenched clothes, or just your dirty clothes. These are the people you have to thank the most. If it wasn't for them, you wouldn't have even started swimming, let alone made it this far.

"We have our ups and downs. Making a new personal record, getting an A on the test you forgot you had, definitely one of your shining moments. Adding time to your best event, or getting a bad test score in your favorite class, it puts a damper on your day.

"However, we never fail to have fun. It's the days where the coaches give you a free day to relax in the water. The days where the teacher gives the students a break and lets them have a study period. Those are the days that we live for, the days that keep you coming back to practice every day.

"So, I bet most of you are wondering what this giant metaphor has to do with this graduating class. It's simple; there will come a day where I stop competing. I will stop going to swim meets to race but I will never stop swimming, it's always going to be there. It's the same with learning. You'll stop taking tests and exams. For some of you, that time was last week during finals, but for others, it'll come later on down the road. However, you will never stop learning. And I never want you to. We have so much more to learn. Because, although we may think we know it all, there's so much more out there for us.

"This class, my class; we have so many memories with each other, so many accomplishments. I remember that our pee-wee football team went undefeated in elementary school. I remember just a few months ago, our class alone raised over 10,000 items for the holiday food drive, we have national cheerleading and Glee club championships, and at least half of our sports teams are top ten in the state. But after today, it's all going to change. We're not all going to be on the same team anymore. We'll be branching out to different teams, maybe even different sports. All these different paths are taking us to our dreams. I know that every one of us has dreamed of this dat at least one. Now that it is here, don't stop dreaming. Don't ever let your dreams get away from you. I know that some of you dream of graduating college, the armed forces, the workforce, or even becoming a Broadway star. I myself dream of swimming in the Olympics to represent my country; and no, I'm not talking about Mexico. These may be big dreams but I once heard that if your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough. Find those scary dreams and chase after them. Keep your chin up because failure will happen but it's all part of the windy and beautiful path called success.

"Amanda Beard, a breast stroking prodigy who won an Olympic gold and two silvers at the tender age of 14, and one of my personal role models says, "Sometimes success is simply being willing to give it your all." And if I was to bet my money on anything, it would be that this is the class to give it all. There is no doubt in my mind that all of you will attain success in one way or another and I wouldn't want anything less for us.

"Thank you so much parents, relatives, friends, I know that it means the absolute world to us to see your support. And guys, not to be clichéd, but we did it!" The senior class rose to their feet in applause. The audience soon followed.

I stepped away from the podium and felt one tear fall down. I was proud of myself. Not proud like I was at state. Not any kind if pride that I felt from swimming. It was a different kind of pride. I felt pride in my school and in this class. I couldn't imagine it going any better.

I sat down and listened to another speech given by a fellow classmate. He started it out by "Wow, Santana, thanks, that's going to be super tough to beat, so I'll keep this short and sweet."

After his speech, we finally were called to receive our diplomas. This process goes by relatively quickly, especially considering the amount of names that he had to get though.

Afterwards, we were allowed to throw our caps in the air. I felt the energy throughout the whole class in that throw. We were all so proud of ourselves, to make it this far.

I found my friends, we took pictures together. I also saw my family walking towards them. They all greeted me with hugs, some of the relatives I hadn't seen in awhile.

"Your speech was just brilliant, so creative, Santana. We're so proud of you." My grandma told me with nodding approval from the rest of the group.

I smiled and engaged in a few more minutes of conversation. I looked around for Brittany. I spotted her talking to some of my friends.

"Hey, mija, we're going to head back over to the house and finish setting up for the party. We'll see you there in just a little?" My dad asked me.

"Yes, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay, good. We wouldn't want the party to start without the girl of the hour."

They left towards the exit and I walked over to the group. It was actually just Colby, Brooke, Jenna. They were standing in a circle talking with Brittany.

"Hey there. Your speech was so great. I loved it." Brittany wrapped one arm around my shoulder for a tiny hug.

"Thanks for the great idea." I smirked.

"So, we were just telling your girlfriend here that we should all get together for dinner or something this summer." Colby winked.

I smiled. "That sounds perfect."

We dispersed after talking with other members from our class and a little bit of a heartfelt goodbye.

Then I rode over with Brittany back to my house.

"Mmmmm, the food smells so good," I said to Brittany, who was clinging onto my arm and a gift bag, as we walked into my decorated house.

"There's so many people here already! You're going to run out of food!"

I giggled, grabbed her hand, and ducked into the laundry room. I carefully shut the door behind us and pinned her against it. I put a hand on her lower back and kissed her.

"I'm so happy you're here today," I whispered.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," she said through a kiss.

Just as I slipped my tongue into her mouth, I heard someone clear their throat. I jumped back away from Brittany faster than I ever thought possible. I turned around and my mom was standing at the front of the dryer. I felt a rush of blood over my cheeks. I could only imagine how Brittany felt. My mom was definitely comfortable with Brittany and we've kissed in front of her. But those were just small, chaste kisses on the cheek, forehead, or lips. We've never made out in front of her, it's definitely not something we put out there, especially not to her.

"Uhh, I'm so sorry Ma. I didn't know you were in here."

"Uh huh. I can see that." She looked towards Brittany. "Nice to see you, Brittany. You're looking lovely as always, love the shoes."

Brittany looked down at her shoes and smiled shyly. "Thank you, Isabella. The decorations look great."

"Well, thank you. Brittany, do you mind if I could have a word with Santana?"

"Not at all. I'll see you two in just a little." She slipped out of the door.

My mom arched an eyebrow at me. I started to take off my graduation robe and honor cords.

"Sorry, mom. I didn't know you were in here. I, uh, I should probably be getting to the party…"

"It's fine, Santana. I understand. I'd rather you do it in here than in public, with a man or a woman. Since Brittany is here and all, what are you planning to do with the family being here and all?"

"What do you mean?"

I knew what she was trying to say, I just wanted her to come right out and say it.

"Are you telling them? About your relationship? Your sexuality." There, it wasn't that hard.

"Do you want me to?"

"This is your day, Santana. You're the graduate, this is your party, and it's completely up to you. I just don't want their opinions to drag you down on the day you're supposed to enjoy the most. I know that not everyone is going to be just fine with it."

"Ma, I'm your daughter. I'm just like you. I'm strong. I deal with this crap every day. I a bigger person because of it. I know how to handle it while still keeping my composure. You should be proud of me. Anything that they say, no matter what, I can handle it. Besides, the people who really love me, won't care. I've just, I've grown up so much over these past few months, more than I have over the past three years. I've just learned that I can't hide anymore. It's not worth it, Ma. I love who I am and what I've done."

"I am proud, Santana. It's your choice, I'll be behind you 100%." She kissed my forehead and we left the laundry room.

I walked into our spacious living room and saw the stack of presents and cards already starting to pile up on the unlit fireplace. I looked around at the decorations; my senior pictures were set out. A morbidly big display of all my major swimming medals and awards was shown right next to it along with all of my other accomplishments.

Upon entering, I was greeted by guests coming over to me. After getting a plate of food, I talked with my relatives, friends, and other stragglers. I felt so happy, they were all here to support and congratulate me, and everyone was asking about my future plans and swimming. Quinn and Puck even stopped by for a little. I saw Brittany and Ellie talking the whole time, I was glad Brittany didn't feel awkward.

"Hey, Santana. Your speech was outstanding. I loved it." My cousin Michelle sat next to me at the table I was sitting at.

"Ahh, thanks so much. And thank you for coming all the way from Detroit with Carter."

"We wanted to. I wouldn't want to miss my favorite cousin's graduation and speech."

"Favorite cousin?" I asked.

She put a finger to her lips. "Shhh, don't tell." And winked. I knew she was being goofy.

"So how have you been?"

"Great, Carter and I are getting ready for the big day."

"Wait, big day?"

"Yeah, didn't you guys get the invitation? It's in July."

"Oh! I remember my mom saying something about that awhile ago, it must have slipped my mind, sorry about that. That's really exciting, we'll definitely be there!"

"You can bring a date, too, if you have a new boyfriend. You and Ellie can! The more the merrier."

I licked my lips. A date. The only person I'd want as my date is Brittany.

"Uh, that sounds great. Can I, uh, um. Well.."

"Santana?" She looked at me skeptically.

"Can I bring my girlfriend as my date?"

Her eyebrows knitted together. "Girlfriend? Are you gay?"

"Uh, yeah." I was sort of tongue tied. Coming out to her was a lot harder than any other person. I looked around the room, searching for words.

She smiled kindly, giving me more courage that I had before.

"I just, it's not a phase and it's something that's taken me a horribly long time to come to terms with but I'm so happy right now, I'm so happy."

She pressed her lips together and nodded her head. I watched as an even bigger smile surfaced her face. "Who is she? She must be pretty special to have the heart of my girl."

I smiled and looked around across the dining room and into the living room. I spotted Ellie and Brittany pointing at the pictures from my picture slideshow that was playing on our TV. I nodded towards the direction. "That's her, with Ellie. Her name's Brittany."

She raised her eyebrows and nodded her head in approval. "She's really pretty. And I love her dress." She took her eyes off Brittany and back on me. "You two been together for a long time?"

"Like eight months."

"And your parents know? Well, I guess they do since she's here."

"Yeah, most of the people around here do, just not many people in the family. Not yet, anyways."

"Are you going to tell them?"

"I suppose I have to. Maybe gradually. You got the honor of being the first."

She chuckled. "Well, you and your girlfriend are more than welcome at my wedding." She smiled. "And if anyone has a problem with that, they aren't welcome at my wedding."

Another guest came over to me to start talking. I glanced at Michelle as she got up. I gave her a quick hug.

"Thanks, Michelle. I'll see you super soon." And then I continued on the conversation with the guest.

After talking, I walked outside to the patio to see who was out there. There were a bunch of people who had found their own groups and were all just sitting around tables talking. I was just about to greet a table that contained a bunch of my mom's friends when I heard Monica's familiar voice beside me.

"So. That is the girl huh, Santana?"

"Yeah, next to Ellie and Jasmine inside?" I craned my neck back into the house and pointed. "That's her."

"She's fucking gorgeous!"

I smiled modestly. "I know. Did you meet her?"

"Yeah, Ellie introduced us when you were doing your whole I'm-Santana-Lopez-Head-Bitch-In-Charge-This-Is-My- Party thing."

I laughed. "How do you like her?"

"She's really nice. And she's really funny. Is she always like that?"

I grinned. "She doesn't know how funny she is." I smiled at the thought of Brittany. "She's not bored or anything right now, you think?"

"Nah, I think she's just chilling."

"Okay, good. I only got to talk to her a little bit. I've been so busy making sure that I get to everyone. I just don't want her to feel awkward."

"Have you told any of the family about her?"

"Uh, I just told Michelle because I asked if she could go as my date for her wedding. Michelle basically said 'Hell yeah'. You're going right?"

"Yeah, of course I'll be there! You should tell people, Santana. Today's the day. If you tell them today, they can't judge you. You're the star here. Do you know what I'm saying?"

I loved Monica but sometimes, she confused me. "Yeah, I think so. Like, this is my party; they don't really have a right to judge my life especially considering how much I've accomplished so far? I've kind of told my mom that today. I'm realizing so much. It's just wonderful, this year."

"Exactly." She smiled. "And here comes your shot. My parents are coming over."

"Wait, what?"

Monica's parents walked over before I had time to sort anything out. "Hola, Santana. It was hard to find you when you weren't swamped with people." Monica's mom pointed to everyone.

"I know, it's like a mad house here, in totally good way though."

"Well, congratulations on graduation. I bet you were getting excited since we saw you last week at Monica's graduation."

"Oh, yes. I was. I was anxious. And jealous. I bet she didn't do anything this week."

"Nope. Except sleep." Monica's dad chuckled.

I felt Monica nudge me with her elbow. I didn't know really what to say, didn't know what Monica thought I should say.

"Uh, so have you been able to see a lot of the family, even though you probably saw a lot of them last week?" I just blurted out to my aunt and uncle.

"Yeah, it's nice being able to visit with everyone so often and your dad's side of the family is very interesting, they're nice people. And then we'll see you guys in July for Carter and Michelle's wedding, I presume?" Monica's mom answered with a question.

I felt Monica nudge me again. Her parents saw her that time.

"Yeah, we're definitely planning on going!" I chimed.

"I know Michelle told Monica and Jasmine that they're welcome to bring a date. I think Monica is going to bring her boyfriend and Jasmine might just bring a friend." She looked at Monica, Monica nodded. "What about you and Ellie?"

Lovely. The topic was brought right up. Why were dates for a wedding such an important topic?!

"Um, I think Ellie will probably bring her boyfriend, Bryan."

"And you?"

"Uhh, yeah. Yeah, I have a date. Um, I think I'm going to bring my, uh, girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" Both my aunt and uncle questioned, arching their eyebrows.

I smiled. "Yeah. My girlfriend."

"Yeah, mom, dad. She's that girl talking to Jasmine and Ellie, over there," Monica told them with an enthusiastic smile on her face, pointing inside.

They looked over towards the trio and studied her for a few seconds.

"Ah, well. That's nice. Does she go to your school?" Monica's mom asked me. She wasn't disgusted but she wasn't acting the most accepting, which is to be expected, it's kind of a bomb to be dropped on someone.

"No, she's a little bit older. She's actually a dance instructor right now. She's going to be a English teacher." I had to choose my words wisely; I didn't want her age to cause an even further pre-judgment. Everything I said was true, she is a dance instructor and she is going to be an English teacher… except she will be one in a few months, not years.

Monica's dad nodded in approval, he was a principal. "Well, I'm going to find your parents and thank them for having such a great party but then we better get going soon. Congratulations again, Santana. We look forward to seeing you and your family soon."

"You too!" I gave both of them a hug before they headed towards my parents.

I looked at Monica. "So.. What do you think? It's funny because I haven't even asked Brittany if she was even available to go with me. I just found out a few hours ago about this wedding. I feel like this is becoming a bigger deal than it is."

She pressed her lips together. "No. It has to be done sometime, you know. My parents, they're polite, they're not going to act like assholes to your face but they could be thinking it. But I know them, I don't think they were. If they say anything in the car, I'll text you. But I think that they were at most, surprised."

"Well, I hope so. I just don't want the opinion of that my extended family has on me to branch over to my family."

"Fuck them, Santana. They're totally not worth it if they do. Even my parents." She held my gaze.

"Hey, Santana. It was so great seeing you so many times!" Jasmine appeared next to us. "Monica, we gotta head out."

They both gave me a hug and took off with their parents.

I mingled outside and eventually there were less people at the party now. I was finally able to walk around without being worried that I hadn't talked to certain people for long enough. I wasn't even able to eat any of my food. It's was so weird to have a party that was literally just for me.

I made my way to where Brittany was, sitting at a table talking to a family friend. I knew she didn't know who they were but Brittany was so captivating, anyone sits down and listens to her. After a quick exchange, the family friend leaves and I sit down in their place.

"Hi," I said, gazing at my gorgeous girlfriend.

"Hi."

We were sitting caddy corner from each other, not close, but certainly not far. I took the plastic cup in front of her and took a sip.

"Do you want me to get you some water?" She asked.

"No. Yours taste better anyway." I grinned.

Her hand was resting on the table and I, ever so subtly, moved my hand until our pinkies were touching. When I felt the warmth from her hand, I felt the same spark that I'd felt months ago, the same spark that I'll continue feeling everytime we touch. She looked up and smiled.

"I really hope this hasn't been too boring for you. You've been here for hours and almost everyone here is a stranger to you."

She shook her head. "Not at all. Your family is very friendly. Ellie's been introducing me to a lot of people."

"Introducing you as…?"

"'Santana's good friend, Brittany.'"

I shrugged. "Are they being nice?"

"Oh, yes, very. I really like your cousins, Jasmine and Monica? They're goofy and they have quite the mouths on them, don't they?"

"They are goofy and yes, they do… I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."

"And… I've talked to a few of your friends who I had in class."

"Ohh, awkward?"

"Ahh, not really. They were all surprised to see me and then… I think they put two and two together. I hope you don't mind."

"No, I don't care. It's graduation. I'm not going to see 90% of them ever again."

She smiled. "No more hiding?"

"No more. I'm done. I love who I am and I love you even more."

I felt the weight of her pinky on mine. I swear it took every ounce in me to not kiss her. I had to think of something else, I needed to say something before I leaned in to kiss her.

"Oh! Hey, there's a wedding this July for my cousin, I think the second weekend. Michelle wants you to come."

"Oh?" She had a skeptical look on her face. "She said 'Santana, bring your girlfriend'?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, very funny. No, she said that she was definitely okay with you coming and anyone who isn't will be kicked out… So, will you come? Be my date?"

"I'd love to."

I looked down and smiled. I couldn't look at her, she was just too pretty. Brittany looked at her watch. I knew she had a commitment later tonight.

"Do you need to go?"

"Yeah, I should head out." We both stood up. "Congratulations again. I'm so proud of you. And from the looks of that pile," she nodded towards the gifts that had started piling up on the floor, the card basket, overflowing, "So is everyone else."

"Here, I'll walk you out." I moved to walk but she caught my arm, she let her grasp linger on my bare arm before reluctantly letting go.

"No, it's fine. You should be here. Text me later?"

"I will." I nodded, subtly looking around the room to see how many people were there and not lost in their own conversations. "I love you."

Before she had time to respond, I gently placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. It was quick but it was done. I had finally committed the act that I would have never thought twice to doing at this setting if I was with Puck or any other boy. It wasn't sexual, just a small peck.

I watched a surprised smile surface on her face. "I love you too."

She walked away, towards the door.

"I saw that." It was a familiar voice from behind me. I turned around and it was one of my dad's brothers, Chris.

"Uh," I stammered. I didn't know him very well. I had never had a heart-to-heart with him or anything, nothing more than polite conversation to prevent awkwardness when at family gatherings. "Yeah."

He just nodded his head in approval. "I met her, earlier. Ellie introduced us. She's good for you. Don't let her go."

I wondered what he was saying, why he was saying this. Before I could respond, he walked away with a gentle smile. I just knew that I'd never let her go. I would never let Brittany go.

A bunch of the family stayed back after the party was over and we just chilled together. I went into the family room, which was empty, as everyone else was in the living room watching TV and talking, and eyed all the gifts. I kind of thumbed through the gifts and cards and found Brittany's. It was the only gift I felt like opening right now. It was a pretty large bag. I looked in and found the card. It was a beautiful card. On the side with the printed writing, she wrote "Happy graduation, Santana! I love you, Brittany." In the inside and there were iTunes, Starbucks, and Forever 21 gift cards inside along with $25. It was already too much and so sweet. Further into the gift, I found a college survival kit; a roll of quarters for laundry, towel set, DVDs, food, and a framed picture of us. She completed the whole gift with a very heartfelt handwritten letter.

I went back to the living room and talked with everyone they slowly trickled away. Some were staying the night but I was just beyond tired and collapsed for the night.

But I didn't fall asleep. I lie awake just thinking and wondering. I couldn't help but wonder how I got so lucky and how my life turned out like this. It was nothing like I had pictured. If someone would have told me that I would have been head-over-heels for a woman by the time I graduated, I would said they were crazy. This wasn't the life I had pictured for myself. And I honestly never wanted to enter college in a relationship. Throughout last summer, I thought about if Puck and I were still together and what would happen to us. Puck's plan has always been community college and I kind of knew that we would never be anything more than a high school thing. People who enter college in relationships almost always break up. What is going to make Brittany and I different? Would we even make it through the summer? Of course we will. I love Brittany so much. And I know she loves me just as much.

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**Hello readers! Sorry for the grossly delayed update. I've been so crazy busy! As you may have realized, this chapter is a bit shorter than the past ones. The following chapters, I anticipate 4-6, will be about this size as well. I think it flows better with the story! And I'm excited for it!**

**Thanks for reading! Please review and tell me what you thought!**


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